"Elli, are you okay? You weren't at school today. I was worried..." Band practice was just about to start. A worried Joelle stood in front of me, concerned. "I'm okay. I took the day off to rest up and now I'm feeling much better." I smiled brightly. I couldn't tell her that I just so happened to pass out and spent the night with the guys next door. "That's good. As long as you are feeling better." Joelle said, sounding relieved. 'Thanks for worrying about me.' I felt happy by her concern for my wellbeing.
Band practice was now underway. We had just finished when Kat had something important to announce, "Girls, we have a new gig. It's one week from now. We need to work hard to prepare." She explained and then shot a look at me, "Don't mess this up. This is your final warning. One mistake and it's all over for you." She stated in chilling tone, it sent a shiver down my spine. 'I better do my best. Failure is not an option. I'll show them the results of all my hardwork!' I made sure to put even more effort into practicing. This was my chance to shine. I wanted to prove once and for all that I was just as capable as the rest.
The week went by in a flash. The day of the performance had now arrived. I had prepared all week for this moment but now that it was finally upon us, I could feel my nerves tensing up. 'Got to stay calm. I can't repeat the same mistake.' I took in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Elli, just relax. You will be fine. I know more than anyone just how hard you worked for this." Joelle clasped a hand on my shoulder. The smile on her face and her soothing voice did wonders in helping me relax, "Thanks. Let's go out there and show them what we've got!" I cheered. "That's the spirit." Joelle said in a bright voice, punching the air with her fist.
'It will be Crystal Love's turn any minute.' The thought caused my chest to slightly tighten. "Don't mess up." I could hear Kat's sarcastic tone from behind. 'That's the plan! Eisuke came to watch me. I can't mess up...' Brenda had just gone on stage to introduce us. "This is it." I took in a deep breath and slapped my cheeks, "Okay. I'm ready."
"Please welcome the upcoming stars Crystal Love!"
'That's our cue.' We gathered in a line and headed out to the stage. This was my second time performing. Looking at the crowd, this one was far larger than the last. I took my seat in front of the piano. Just as we were about to start I could see Kat flash me a threatening glare, 'Yeesh. She really means business. Just focus. Focus.' I kept repeating the words in my head and the performance soon began.
'So far so good.' Everything seemed to be going smoothly. We played in perfect harmony. Thankfully, I wasn't as nervous this time so my hands didn't slip. It looked like it would end without a hitch, 'It's nearly over...' I started to relax until pressing a certain key on the piano...'Huh...?!' My finger had gotten stuck. It threw the whole performance off key. Kat immediately shot me a glare, it was possibly the most threatening glare I've ever seen. I felt my heart sink into my stomach. 'Its...over...' I tried to hold back my fears and we started the last part of the song over and quickly ended it without any more trouble.
'Why... Why did my finger get stuck? That wasn't even my fault but that doesn't matter to her.' I sighed sadly. I had never felt so miserable in my life. I couldn't believe that one error was going to cost me everything. I didn't want to believe it. 'Its...not fair...' I did my best to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. It was only a matter of time before Kat would approach me. I stood off in the distance as the girls all chatted in a circle. '...' Kat had finally turned around. She signaled me straight out. Her every step was absolutely terrifying. "Didn't I tell you?" Kat loomed above me, her gaze steely and ice cold. "I should never have given you a second chance. You really are useless." Kat scoffed. I felt myself growing smaller and smaller under her intense gaze. "You are such an amateur. How did someone so insignificant as you even get into the Kanata college? It's laughable." She laughed mocking me straight to my face, "In fact you shouldn't even bother coming to school any more. It's not meant for unrefined people such as yourself." Kat was hurling one thing after another at me, I felt myself slowly crumbling, I didn't even want to fight back. 'I can't believe this... Did I really waste all my years only to have my life amount to this...' I had closed my eyes as my face contorted in pain when I suddenly heard a voice different from Kat's, "That is enough! I can't believe you would sink this low." Joelle stood protectively in front of me as she faced Kat. "You plan to defend her now? Hah. Don't make me laugh." Kat grinned in amusement, she was acting so conceited. "That's right. She is my friend. I can't allow you to hurt her. Even if you are a dear friend of mine, you have gone too far." Joelle responded in a firm manner. "You really are just like everyone else. I thought you cared about me. I really was a fool to believe so..." Kat spoke like she was pained. "Do you really believe that? What happened to you... You use to be such a sweet girl but I hardly know you anymore. You need to let go of the past. You can still be happy. Please!" Joelle begged her. It seemed like Kat was thinking it over but then a dark expression came over her, "Shut up. You don't know a thing about how I feel! No one does! I can't trust any of you." Kat spat, she looked infuriated by what was happening, "Joelle. Move away from Elli this instant." Kat demanded but Joelle refused, "No. Don't you realize how much pain you have already inflicted on her? You need to stop!" Joelle screamed. 'Joelle... I've never seen her get like this before.' I was struck speechless watching the scene unfold before my eyes. "Joelle! If you don't move I will throw you out of the band as well!" Kat's shrill voice caused Joelle to jump, "After all I've done... Do you really think doing so will make you happy?" Joelle asked and Kat stumbled for a moment, "...It doesn't matter. Just move!" Kat demanded again. "I won't move." Joelle shook her head. 'She's willing to get thrown out of the band for me...? She loves the band...' I was feeling conflicted inside seeing just how far Joelle would go for me.
"So be it. How would you feel if your family lost their jobs?" Kat smirked wickedly and Joelle's whole body froze, "You wouldn't..." Joelle muttered, sounding fearful. "Don't try me. You know the whole province of Kanata belongs to my family. We own everything and whatever I choose goes." Kat laughed derisively. 'Oh no. I can't let that happen to Joelle.' Things had gone to far, I couldn't let Joelle get hurt because of me. "Joelle..." I softly spoke her name, "Huh?" Joelle turned to face me, "It's okay. I can't let your family suffer because of me. Thank you for everything. I'm glad I had the chance to know you." I said with the best smile I could muster, though on the inside everything was slowly falling apart. "Elli... I..." Joelle didn't know what to say, she looked away with a troubled expression. Joelle understood she had to protect her family, it was a difficult decision but she stepped away from me and slowly trudged back to the group. I could see on their faces, all the girls looked to be struggling with what juat happened, 'I never thought they would be worried about me. Maybe there is hope for those girls...but Kat...what happened to make her so malicious and downright wicked. Joelle believes there is still good inside of her...but where is it?'
"I'm glad you came to your senses." Kat sneered. Joelle sadly looked away. "You should take this time to look over your mistakes. Maybe you will find someone else willing to take in someone as pathetic as you." Kat laughed. Her words stung. "I...I'm sorry." I bowed my head, I was still trying to hold back the tears. "Just go. I don't want to be in the presence of a failure such as yourself for another second." Kat scoffed, glaring at me. "I'll...be going now." I quickly said and started to run. "Elli!" I could hear a remorseful Joelle yelling out to me as I ran. I just wanted to get away as fast as I could. Everything hurt so much. My dreams had been crushed. My heart felt like it was shattering into a million pieces. Kat's words hit me to my very core. 'I am useless...' I thought to myself as I kept on running. I had no destination in mind. I just wanted to run and run until I could run no more. I tried so hard and yet it all amounted to nothing. All my life wasted. I knew it meant my friendship with Joelle was over. There was no way Kat would let me near her now. And school...It was about to become more difficult than ever. Kat will spread my failure around and it will result in everyone criticizing me more than ever.
I had ran to what looked like a park whem my legs gave out on me. I had no longer had the strength to stand and fell to the ground. "Sniff..." I just laid there crying my heart out as I felt miserable. I truly believed I was destined to always be a failure, a nobody. "No one loves me... I'm pathetic. What's the point of even trying any more." I sobbed and cried out in agony.
"That's not the Elli I know."
"What?" I was surprised to hear a voice call my name. I looked around and saw Eisuke walking up to me. "What are
...hic...you doing here?" I asked and remembered how I must look and quickly averted my gaze, "Don't...hic...look at me. I'm all...hic...snotty and disgusting." I said through my sobs. "How you look is not important." Eisuke said and knelt down next to me. "I ran after you after I saw what happened. You have quite a friend there." Eisuke said but those words only caused me more pain, "I won't be allowed to see her anymore. If I do..." Just thinking about it was painful. "...Kat owns the province of Kanata. She can do what she likes to me or Joelle. If I were to see her anymore... The results could be disastrous." I said and brought a hand to my chest, inside my heart felt like it was being squeezed, it hurt to breath.
"I see..." Eisuke mumbled. "It's all pointless. I should just go back home. There is no point for me to stay here any more. It will only bring me more pain. ...And I can't bear this pain on my own..." I squeezed my eyes shut. "I really am all alone. Why did I even think I could become something great. I'm so stupid. A total failure. No one could ever love someone as pathetic as I am." As I berated myself a pair of arms had suddenly enveloped me, "Huh?!" I cried out in surprise. "You aren't a failure. You are a wonderful person. Don't say such terrible things about yourself! You are not alone! I...I care about you." Eisuke sounded like he was hurt from what I said as he spoke earnestly to me. "You do...?" I was completely besides myself from his declaration. "Yes and so do all the guys in Tres Spades." Eisuke said. 'Oh... So he didn't mean it that way...' I felt oddly disappointed but just the fact he had me wrapped up in his arms helped to ease my heavy heart. "The Elli I know wouldn't just give up. You said so yourself. I believe in you." Eisuke spoke softly. His words resonated deep inside, "But... I don't know where to go from here..." I sighed and Eisuke pulled back to look me in the eyes, "You can join Tres Spades. I've heard you sing. You have an amazing voice. It was so soft and easy to listen to...even Kat couldn't compete with you." Eisuke said and then it looked like something came to mind, "Which makes me wonder why you hid such a beautiful voice as your own. If only you-"
"I promised my parents I wouldn't sing." 'But... Can I really keep that promise? Singing is where my true passion lies. Why did my parents steer me away from it...they knew how much I loved it. I wish they would be honest with me instead of telling me one excuse after another.' "Your parents... I see." Eisuke mumbled, seemingly in thought. 'I really could join Tres Spades? I would have to go against my parents wishes but...If I don't it will only result in more pain and I'm sure they wouldn't want that. If I tell them my reasons they will understand. They are my parents and will always love me no matter what. It's time I followed my heart.'
"I...I'll join." I sheepishly replied and Eisuke looked surprised, "Really?" He asked and I nodded. A big smile flashed upon his lips, it was the happiest I'd ever seen him, 'Huh? I didn't think he would be so happy.' He then hugged me once more, squeezing me tight. I was completely blown away by his reaction. There the two of us sat in the middle of the park, with him hugging me. My heart that was previously shattered found comfort in the warmth of his arms.
Would this be the first step into repairing my broken heart and recovering what I had just lost? Would I even fit into their band? Would I finally discover the happiness I desired for so long. And most of all would this lead to finding the whereabouts of my sister I lost so long ago? So many questions popped into my mind but none had answers. All I knew was that in time these questions would meet with an answer. Until then I will follow my heart.