Day five: Murphy's Law

Full disclosure; I will probably rewrite this as a stand alone story after Shortaki Week because what started out as a "I have no idea how to write this" ended up as a "I have to stop or else this will turn into a 10K fic!" There is so much more I want to write on this so be prepared to see a more fleshed out version of this in weeks to come.

It started with the flower girl.

The flower girl ripped her dress running around outside with the ring bearer the day before the wedding. Olga was apologetic and tried sewing it back together but not even her perfect sewing skills could save the taffeta material.

Arnold reassured her that they could find a nice dress in the same color at a store with relative ease. It was late spring, there was bound to be tons of nice pink dresses on the racks. Did the taffeta and tulle really matter that much in the grand scheme of things?

Helga, Olga and Olivia raced out that afternoon and after five hours, seven stores and stubborn tears from Olivia, the flower girl, who suddenly decided she wanted to be a mermaid at her Aunt's wedding, they found the perfect pink dress suited for a three year old mermaid flower girl and the crisis was averted. More tears came after Olga had told Olivia she wasn't allowed to wear it until the next day at the actual wedding.

The morning of the wedding the best man called to explain that the Maid of Honor had been rushed to the hospital with acute appendicitis and they'd been rear ended in the parking lot of the hospital.

"Appendicitis?" Helga almost screeched into the phone.

"Are you guys all right?" Arnold asked.

"I'm fine, a couple of scratches and bruises. The car's totaled though. I'm just thankful that jerk had insurance because I'm damn well getting another car out of this."

"Gerald, where's Phoebe? Is she okay?" Helga asked. She'd had a miniature panic attack and Arnold was been rubbing her back to calm her down while Gerald was explaining the circumstances.

"She's in surgery right now. The doctor took one look at her and they rushed her off to surgery for an emergency appendectomy."

"Criminy,"

"Sit down love, you're going to fall down. You need us to come pick you up?"

"I still have to fill out a crap ton of paperwork for her. I'm really sorry guys, and I know Phoebe felt bad too. All she kept saying on our way here was how Helga was going to kill her."

"I'm not going to kill her," Helga said weakly, now sitting on the couch. "It's not her fault her appendix decided today was the day it wanted to quit."

"I'm really sorry."

"It isn't anyone's fault, it just happened. Stay with Pheobe and tell her we'll see her later." Arnold hung up the phone and sat down next to his fiancé. "This isn't a setback. We can get through this. Do you need a paper bag?"

"Shut up football head. You're lucky you're so damn cute."

The bridesmaids arrived to the church hung over and one of the groomsmen was sporting a black eye.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Helga all but screamed as the four women stumbled in wearing sunglasses. Rhonda winced as she fell onto one of the couches.

"Shhh…don't yell. You're too loud."

"Why is everything so bright?" Lila asked plaintively as she fell onto the couch next to Rhonda. "Maybe that last club was a bad idea."

Helga stood in the room in her slip, hands on her hips glaring at the women. "You realize that the bachelorette party is supposed to include the bride to be, right?"

"You said you didn't want to go." Nadine said as she peered out the window. "Is that…rain?"

A loud clap of thunder answered her and Helga grabbed a pillow from the chair to scream into.

The hair dresser never showed. Olga came running into the room armed with brushes, combs, hairspray and bobby pins.

"We can do this, it'll be fine!" she announced. By that time the bridesmaids were sobering up thanks to a coffee run and Rhonda was trying to tame down Sheena's hair.

"We've got us, just fix her hair." Rhonda nodded towards Helga who was sitting at the vanity, still in her slip, her head between her knees trying to take deep breaths. "If you have some wine, that might help her too."

The flowers arrived but they were lilies dyed mauve and periwinkle. Helga just sobbed.

"You're going to ruin your makeup!" Olga exclaimed, franticly grabbing Kleenex and wiping Helga's face.

"Are you sure you didn't have Eugene plan this wedding?" Sheena hiccupped. Nadine and Rhonda began giggling. Lila patted her back awkwardly.

"It'll be fine. Okay, they aren't pink but mauve is a kind of pink."

"Explain the periwinkle, Polly Sunshine." Rhonda deadpanned. Lila shook her head.

"My positivity only goes so far." She winced as Helga sniffed and blew her nose. "You want me to get Arnold?"

"The groom isn't supposed to see the bride before the wedding." Sheena insisted. "It's bad luck."

"Sheena, I think we're past bad luck at this point. It's not going to hurt anything."

"No," Helga's voice hitched. "With the way today is going, Arnold will take one look at you and suddenly realize that he's madly in love with you and you two will run away together."

Rhonda snickered as Lila looked at her bewildered. "Okay…I'm not sure Kelly will be on board with that."

The final straw was the three tier angel food cake with the orange zest white chocolate fondant icing actually arrived as a one layer sheet cake of strawberry sponge cake with yellow icing only to be turned away at the reception hall who'd lost the reservation and had accidentally double booked the venue for that day.

The knock came on the door as Olga was finishing Helga's makeup.

"There's been a snafu." Arnold's voice came from the hallway. Helga dropped her head on the vanity counter and screamed again.

"Sorry," Nadine said cheerily. "We've exceeded our limit of snafus today. Come back tomorrow."

"What happened?" Rhonda joined Nadine at the partially opened door.

"The cake is a strawberry sheet cake."

Rhythmic thumping could be heard inside the room.

"Baby sister, you're going to get a bruise if you keep that up."

Arnold pushed on the door. "Let me in."

"You can't!" Sheena insisted.

"We're past that!" Rhonda said.

"No! He'll fall madly in love with Lila and they'll run away."

"I'm done." Nadine threw her hands up and let go of the door. Arnold stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him.

"I don't think Kelly would be too pleased with that. But I promise to try to control myself." He chanced a look at Lila and shrugged. "Nope. Sorry Lila, I don't like you like you like that."

Lila was laughing too hard to answer.

Arnold watched Helga thump her head once again on the table and looked back at the five women. "Ladies, I'm going to ask you all to give me five minutes alone with my fiancé, please."

"Oh Arnold, you're going to need more than that to get her calmed down." Rhonda teased as they filed out of the room. The door closed and they were alone.

He knelt down beside the chair and slid his hand in between her head and the vanity table.

"Look at me."

She tilted her head a little to the left to look at him, eyes red from crying, mascara running, nose red.

"Sit up." He pulled her up and slid his hands into hers. She started crying again.

"It's horrible!" she sobbed. "All I wanted was a nice wedding, with everyone I love here to see us exchange vows and it's all ruined. Everything that could go wrong has. This is turning out to be the worst day ever!"

"Is all of this important to you? The cake and the venue? The flowers, the dresses, the pomp?"

"It's our wedding day, Arnold. I've been dreaming about this day for years!"

"You've been dreaming about our wedding day? Or being married?"

"Well doi, I…" she went silent, her tears drying up. Sniffing once more, she pulled one of her hands from his to pick up a Kleenex and wipe her face.

"All I've ever wanted was to be married to you."

He smiled. "Then let's get married. The colors, the dresses, the cake, none of that matters. All that matters is that you and I promise to love, honor and cherish for better or for worse, till death do us part. All we need is someone ordained to sign the certificate, the rest is incidental."

She cocked her head. "You don't want a big wedding? Then why did you go along with it?"

"Because you wanted it. And I love you. I'm perfectly happy getting married in the courthouse, so long as we get married today. And right now, there is a perfectly good preacher out there waiting to do just that."

She allowed herself to be pulled up by him.

"Get your dress on, let Olga fix your face and let's…"

They stared at the white dress hanging up on the hook waiting to be worn. The white dress with the huge iron burn in the side of the bodice.

"Okay…new plan."

Arnold raced down the aisle, missing his tux jacket and his shirt sleeves rolled up.

"Missing some things aren't you Shortman?" Phil asked.

"Nope. Grandma, did you…"

Gertie held out his blue cap and he grinned, kissing her cheek.

"I love you Grandma."

"It wouldn't be right getting married without it." She said.

"Arnold, what's going on?" Miles asked as Arnold took his place.

"We've got this under control." He said as the music started. The rag tag bunch of bridesmaids and groomsmen came in, followed by the flower girl in her mermaid pink sparkle dress throwing lily petals all over the place.

Olga followed up, wearing a pale pink sundress she'd found in her closet in a pinch.

The wedding march started and everyone stood up. Helga stood at the end of the aisle, wearing a pink and white sundress with white heels, her hair pulled back in an elaborate bun. On top of her head was a pink ribbon.

As she walked down the aisle, he put on his hat. Around him he could hear the whispered questions.

Where was her dress?

What happened to groomsmen number two?

Where were the Best Man and the Maid of Honor?

None of these things mattered as he watched her approach. She took her place next to him and he grinned.

The Preacher simply shook his head and opened his book.

"Dearly Beloved. We are gathered here today…"

As the official spoke, Arnold leaned towards his very soon to be Bride.

"I like your bow." He whispered. "It's pink like your dress."

She actually grinned, her face lighting up like he imagined it did the very first time he said those words to her so many decades ago. How did he know that nine little words would shape the rest of his life and bring him the one thing he wanted most in the world?

"I was wrong," she whispered back. He tilted his head slightly in question.

"Back in the dressing room? I was wrong. This is the best day ever."