To be or Not to be King

Kona sat with her back against the wall of her room, her legs extended before her, slightly crossed, her eyes closed, a soft smile on her face as she just…felt what was going on. Loki was lying on the floor, on his back, his head resting on her lap as her left hand lightly wove through his black locks, stroking his hair, soothing him. Her other hand had been resting on his chest but Loki had taken to playing with it, examining it she would have said if she'd been able to see how intently he was looking at it. She knew her hands weren't quite as delicate as a Lady's should be, she was still a servant at heart, she still liked to do things herself and work on things. But she also knew they weren't as rough as Sif's, the hands of a warrior.

Her hands, she idly thought, actually reminded her of Frigga's. They were delicate, but strong, soft but with a hint of roughness to them. It meant that while she was a lady she was by no means weak or defenseless. She DID know how to fight and defend herself. Odin's protection extended past just guards near her rooms and thick doors and strong walls and Heimdall watching her from time to time. No, the Allfather was wise enough to know that she could still be taken away from Asgard, that she could still be attacked and if she was she needed to know how to fight, even without her sight she needed to know how to protect herself.

He'd had her trained enough where she could defend herself until help arrived. She knew how to use a small sword, she knew how to fight better though with just her hands and her body. She didn't trust swords, she didn't like holding them not just because she couldn't see them but…she didn't want to hurt anyone who came to aid her. If she accidently swung at someone and punched them, that was one thing. To swing and end up slashing someone or cutting someone, that was worse. No, she didn't like swords, she preferred to just fight bare handed, that way she knew she wouldn't hurt her protectors.

Loki had also taken to helping to protect her as well, in teaching her how to hide herself from Heimdall, it would also help hide her from enemies. She'd be able to run and hide or at least get away if the others couldn't see her. She found it ironic that the smoke that Loki had taught her how to use inadvertently made others 'blind' to her. Irony that was. She was starting to suspect though that he may have put some sort of tracker on her or something, some spell to alert him to the fact that she might be in danger, he always seemed to have a...knack for showing up whenever she needed him most. Not that she had been in many situations like that, but when she'd been younger, he always just knew when others were getting to her or upsetting her. Oddly enough, it didn't bother her, the thought of Loki possibly watching over her, as much as it did to know Heimdall was watching her at times. Heimdall had rarely ever had any interaction with her, she had never had a bad experience with the man and she knew he was one of the greatest obstacles enemies would face in getting into Asgard, standing as their keeper and protector. She should have felt safe knowing Heimdall was watching over her too...but she felt that more with Loki than Heimdall.

She didn't know how Loki always knew when she needed him, she was SURE he wasn't a seer and had no abilities like that. But whatever it was and however he did it...she was grateful. She liked the thought of him being there for her always as she was for him. She knew how hard it was for him and Thor to be raised together at times. Thor had always felt himself destined to be king, and (she felt) at times would try to prove his merit and remind Loki that HE was the first in line for the throne in how he talked down to Loki at times. She had heard him tell Loki to 'remember his place' more times than she cared to count. Loki truly held no desire to be king, it was never a competition for him, he didn't see Thor as his better for being king but his equal. She knew that he'd only ever wanted Thor to see the same. And for the most part she was sure Thor did, that he saw how brilliant Loki was, but there WERE times when Thor's arrogance and drive to be the best got the better of him and he sometimes forgot Loki was his brother and not his competition. Whenever that happened, she always tried to be there for Loki like he was her, to comfort him and remind him of his worth when Thor made him feel inferior.

She liked to think she succeeded.

"Do you really believe it?" Loki murmured in the middle of the comfortable silence.

She loved that about Loki, neither of them felt the need to constantly talk. Others…she got the impression they'd talk around her and make louder noises so she'd be aware they were there. They seemed to forget that in losing her sight her other senses had been strengthened. She could smell Fandral coming, the…perfume (though he swore he didn't wear any) was rather easy for her to sniff. Volstagg's steps were naturally heavy so she heard him coming a mile away. Hogun was a bit harder, but she DID hear him walk as well, just because he was silent didn't mean he made no sound at all. Sif was much the same as Fandral, she wore a particular perfume as well.

Loki, she could always tell when LOKI was sneaking up on her, because he snuck. He tried to be too quiet and in being too quiet she heard him. That was a complicated thought, to hear someone being quiet. She couldn't really explain it though, it was like she was just always aware of him.

"Believe what?" she hummed, they'd been silent for so long she wasn't sure what he meant.

"That I'm just…me," he sighed, moving to hold her hand instead of play with it, their fingers interlocked, as he rested it on his chest, looking up at her as she looked down at him, "That I'm not a…a monster."

"YOU? A monster?" she actually had to laugh at that a bit, "Loki that is ridiculous."

"Is it?" he asked quietly, a trace of fear in his voice.

"It is," she nodded, "Look at what you are doing here," she gestured around with her left hand, smiling as she heard him give a small groan of disappointment when she took her hand away from his hair to do it, "You are risking everything to see Asgard safe. You tricked Odin into seeing Thor for what he was to keep me from having to face him, to face Thor's wrath as well. You are trying to help your bother become a better man, a great and just king. You risked your life in Jotunheim to protect them all. And I have seen you with the children," she added, thinking about when they'd take a walk through Asgard, how the young children were always so excited to see one of the royals walking among them. While she couldn't 'see' exactly, she could hear and imagine, it wasn't that hard, "You offer them tricks and treats and you jest with them. You entertain them, always, no matter what you stop to play with them a short while. You care for them and you treat them with kindness. And speaking of children, a monster…would not have come to comfort a small girl as she cried herself to sleep," she murmured, recalling when she'd lost her sight, "A monster would have enjoyed her suffering."

Loki looked at her intently, hearing the passion and conviction with which she spoke, about HIM, and lifted his own left hand to her face, stroking her cheek, smiling when she leaned into his touch, "Thank you Kona. You always help me see things clearly."

She smiled, "Well, I AM a seer."

He laughed at that and sat up, kissing her quickly before she could react, sure he hadn't surprised her but enjoying the results of his attempts. He pulled away a few moments later, resting his forehead to hers.

Kona turned her eyes on him, reaching up to touch his cheek, lightly tracing his face, "You should go see your father," she murmured, "I can tell you feel guilty for shouting at him before he fell into the Odinsleep," he'd told her about that, about how he'd come to find he was a Frost Giant, what Odin had said, what he had shouted in return, all the events that led up to their king being in a healing coma.

"Odin," he sighed, looking away. Could he even really call the man his father?

"Is STILL your father," Kona reminded him, knowing where his mind had gone, "Loki…he is the man who raised you. He is the one who cared for you as a child, who gave you your ceremonial helmet, your armor, who taught you to ride your first horse. Remember that?" she nudged him, "You fell off on your first attempt and…"

"Odin picked me up," he nodded, smiling a bit as he thought on it, "He brushed me off and…and made sure I wasn't injured, before helping me get back on. He stood by the side of my horse the rest of the time, didn't let me fall off again after that."

"I…doubt a Frost Giant would have been so kind," she added hesitantly.

He had to agree. From what they knew of the Frost Giants, Laufey would not have been so patient with him, so considerate, or even attempted comforting him. He remembered what Odi...his father, had said about how he'd been found, abandoned and likely left to die. He had been abandoned by one father and taken in and loved by another. He had been given a home and food, cloth and warmth, a father and a mother and a brother who loved him for WHO he was on the inside. He had gained a father who was the wisest man he knew, who strove for peace and offered protection...not war and violence. He was…glad for the father he had, that it was Odin who raised him. A small part of him couldn't help but think that, if it hadn't been Odin...HE wouldn't be the person he was today, he wouldn't be Loki, he wouldn't be the Loki that Kona loved.

She loved him.

Oh, that brought a smile to his face despite the heavy topic they were discussing. Kona loved him, the woman he loved loved him back. And that alone was worth all the truths he'd discovered of the lies he'd been told. Kona...now she knew every single thing about him, she knew every sordid detail, and she STILL loved him regardless of that. And that was just remarkable. As long as he had that...he was sure he could handle anything else that came.

"I think he loves you more," Kona added.

"Who?" Loki looked at her, having gotten so lost in thought that he wasn't sure if she'd spoken before that.

"Odin," she answered, "I think he loves you more than Thor, not less."

"How could he?" he let out a small, bitter scoff, knowing his mind was going back to him being a Frost Giant.

"Odin knew," she shrugged, speaking as though it were simple, "Odin knew exactly…" she sighed, "What," she offered for only this instance, "You were. And he still loved you. He still raised you. He comforted and protected and trained you. Loki, I saw it, when I was a child, when I could still see. I saw the way he looked at you, it was the way my mother looked at me. With love, a father's love. No matter what, I know in my heart that Odin DID love you, and still does. To know what he knew and treat you as his own? To look past everything and still accept you? You cannot argue that he did not love you Loki, if anything, at the very least, he loves you as much as he does Thor."

Loki was silent, thinking on that. It…did make sense. For Odin to know he was a Frost Giant and trust him, to raise him beside Thor, to cherish him and support him. He…HAD been a supportive father. When he had decided he'd rather focus on magic than war, Odin had smiled at his mothe…at Frig…at his mother, and told her he got it from her, had arranged for him to learn magic instead. When he'd asked for a book instead of a sword as a gift once, Odin had given him a bookshelf full of them. When remarked that he'd like to court Kona, Odin had taken him to the side and they'd had a…truly touching and meaningful discussion about what it would mean, for him to tie himself to Kona, as a prince but also as a man. They had talked long, as father and son, with Odin not forbidding it but listening to him and his thoughts first before making a decision, heeding his words and understanding him in the way only a father could. And when he'd told Odin that he truly believed that he loved Kona, he'd seen his father smile, seen the true…happiness in his eye. The happiness of a father who was happy for his son to find happiness of his own. Odin HAD always been there for him, had made him feel safe and loved.

He sighed, "Why are you SO good at seeing through me?" he wondered, "Are you certain you are truly blind?"

"As a bat," she laughed, nudging him, "And you're as perceptive as me you know. You're just...perceptive of everyone except yourself. Sometimes you just need someone to point it out to you. So go on. See him. He CAN still hear you even in Odinsleep it's said. I shall be waiting here when you have finished."

He smiled and leaned in to kiss her once more, "I shall not be long."

She squeezed his hand as he stood, helping her up before he turned and left the room…only to pause when he saw Hild at the end of the hall, casting worried glances back at Kona's door. He instantly felt regret for how he'd shouted and startled her, "My sincerest apologies, Hild, for…ordering you about like that," he told her, making sure she knew how sorry he was, "Your mistress is waiting," he gestured back down the hall.

Hild smiled and nodded, before hurrying to check on Kona. He watched her go, catching a glimpse of Kona as the doors to her chambers opened and shut and smiled, nodding to himself as he went to do as she suggested…and see his father.

~8~

Loki sat across from his mother on the left side of his father's bed, looking down at the old man lying within it, encased in the soft golden light of the Odinsleep, able to feel the healing energy, the pure magic at work. It was…odd to see Odin like that. His memories of his father were all of such a strong man that to see him lying there, unconscious, unmoving, looking so much like he was dead…it was jarring. He glanced across the bed at his mother, sitting loyally beside his father, watching him with a soft, though worried smile as she held the man's hand.

"I asked him to be honest with you from the beginning," Frigga began.

Loki closed his eyes, realizing that not only had Odin known, but Frigga as well. He truly hoped they were the only ones who had. He didn't think he could bear to find out yet another person had kept such a thing from him. It…hurt more to find his mother had known. But he tried to recall Kona's words, that for them to know and love him regardless…THAT was family. She was doing the same at that very moment. She now knew…what he was, but she still loved him. She loved who he was, on the inside, his mind, his personality, his soul…not the creature he was made of.

"There should be no secrets in a family," Frigga added.

"So why did he lie?" he asked, he could guess but he assumed, if there was ONE person in all of Asgard that Odin would have told the truth to…it was Frigga.

"He kept the truth from you so that you would never feel different," she replied, "You are our son, Loki, and we your family. You must know that."

Loki looked at her, a soft smile on his face, "I have been…reminded of that," he told her.

She smiled as well, "Kona?"

"Am I that easy to read?" he wondered vaguely.

"Not to many, just your mother," Frigga reassured him, "It's that smile on your face," she nodded at him, amused when he reached up to his lips, as though he'd be able to feel or see his smile in doing so, "You smile like that when you think of her."

"Do I?" he let out a breathy laugh.

She hummed, nodding, "When you asked to court her, when Odin said yes," she laughed, feeling tears in her eyes to remember both the state of her husband and also the happiness she'd seen in Loki, "You looked as though you might have started singing."

"I didn't think he would agree," he looked down at Odin, the two of them falling silent and solemn once more.

He really hadn't thought Odin would give his permission or his blessing. He knew that Odin valued Kona as a seer, but he'd always thought the man still saw her as nothing more than a servant, yet he'd agreed. He'd given his blessing to allow him to ask her if a courtship would be agreeable. And that had meant the world to him.

"You can speak to him," Frigga murmured, "He can see and hear us, even now."

But Loki swallowed, the things he wanted to say, the conversation that had to follow…he wanted to wait till Odin could respond, till they could talk instead of just him speaking. He wasn't like Thor, he didn't just want his own voice heard but a return of dialogue. He wanted to be able to look into Odin's eye when he apologized for shouting, when he told his father that he understood. He could wait, "How long will it last?"

"I don't know," she sighed, reaching out to take Odin's hand, "This time is different. We were unprepared."

"I never get used to seeing him like this," he murmured, looking at his father sadly, "The most powerful being in the Nine Realms lying helpless until his body is restored."

"But he's put it off for so long now, I fear..." she cut herself off, taking a breath, before she glanced at Loki, "You're a good son. We mustn't lose hope that your father will return to us. And your brother."

Loki looked at her solemnly, "What hope is there for Thor?"

With Odin in Odinsleep…there was no way for Thor to return now. And with them not knowing how long it would last…what if the sleep never ended? What if Odin fell to Valhalla? It was nearly an unwritten law that the last orders of a king would stand, that they could not be altered or reversed by the next king. If Frigga took Odin's place as ruler, not even she would be able to allow Thor back. To disregard the orders, especially those of Odin Allfather, the people would not know what to make of their ruler. They worshiped Odin, they saw him as wise and just, and he was. To disrespect the last command of the Allfather…it would not garner the support of the other Asgardians no matter if it was Thor in question.

What hope was there for Thor's return now? The only one who could recall Thor from Earth and do so without consequence…was Odin.

"There's always a purpose to everything your father does," Frigga looked at Odin, knowing where her son's mind had gone. Odin HAD to have known the Odinsleep was near, he especially would have seen the signs before all of them. If he banished Thor, knowing that he was about to fall prey to the sleep…there had to be a reason. She knew not what it was, perhaps it would be that enough time would have passed by the time he woke to invite Thor back, or perhaps it was about testing Thor to see if he'd be wise and strong and resourceful enough to get himself back to Asgard without his father's assistance? She sighed, she wished she knew, "Thor may yet find a way home."

Loki nodded slowly at that, before glancing at the door. He'd be thrilled if Thor came back, he'd never wanted him banished in the first place, but…was he ready to come back? Was he ready to be king? Had he grown enough in the short time he'd been on Earth? He stood and headed for the doors, he should find Kona and ask her to look in on Thor, let him know if the man was ready. If Thor was, he'd go get his brother himself.

He paused though, when he heard a clatter in the halls, the sound of armored footsteps approaching. The doors opened and a guard entered, holding Odin's staff, Gungnir, in hand. He watched, completely startled when the man…knelt before him, holding up the staff to HIM, "What…"

"Thor is banished," Frigga called from behind him, making him glance back at her, "The line of succession falls to you. Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours," Loki looked back at the spear, "Make your father proud. My king."

Loki glanced between her and the staff a moment before hesitantly reaching out to take it, holding it in his hands, feeling the weight (metaphorically) of it. He let out a breath, shaking his head as he glanced at Frigga, "Please excuse me," he said quickly before striding out of the room…needing to get out of there, get away…

This was not what he wanted.

~8~

"How did it go?" Kona smiled as Loki entered her chambers, she knew he'd gone to see Odin, there was little other places he could have gone and he'd sounded like he was agreeing to see Odin when they last spoke. But when Loki didn't speak, her smile started to fade, "Loki? What is it? Has something happened?"

She didn't think something could have happened to Odin, she was certain that she would have seen THAT coming at least. But Loki was so silent, so quiet, unnaturally so. She could feel it, a shift in the air, it wasn't their normal comfortable silence but one of…unease, and that worried her. Loki was always so calm and peaceful, to think of him upset by something well…she knew he'd been very upset by finding out he was apparently a Frost Giant, but this was a more…solemn unease.

"Has Thor improved at all?" he asked her, walking over to kneel before her as she sat on her bench, "Can you see him? Please, Kona, can you look?"

She frowned, a bit confused as to why he suddenly wanted her to look for Thor so urgently, but nodded, closing her eyes. Sometimes, with enough focus, she could catch a glimpse of the present before the future overtook it. She wasn't like Heimdall in that she could see anywhere what was happening right at that moment (though she knew for him to ask HER to attempt so meant Heimdall could not be asked), but she could catch a few seconds of it before the most imminent future presented itself. And she knew that Loki was also asking about the future, if Thor would be ready sooner than later.

She focused as much as she could, Loki watching as her face scrunched, searching the future, looking through time…to Earth, to Thor. It was blurry, a bit haze on the edges, but she could see it…and she felt her heart break for Loki at what she saw. Thor, while he did seem a bit…calmer, was still being his normal self. He was sitting in an odd room, full of people in odd dress, eating…more like stuffing himself really. He was quite like what she imagined Volstagg looked like when he ate, insulting others, smashing cups on the ground, before striding about, walking as though others should stop and bow to him.

And then she saw it…the future shifting, to night, to Thor attacking the humans, going straight to warfare and violence and brute force instead of negotiation and talking. She could tell HE was attacking as the people around seemed to have no idea he was there till he attacked, and that made it worse, because she knew now that it WAS an attack.

She winced and opened her eyes, shaking off the vision as she looked at Loki with a sorrowful expression.

He let out a breath and closed his eyes, knowing what that meant, knowing without having to ask that no, Thor hadn't changed, not really, not enough.

"I am sorry Loki," Kona squeezed his hands as he looked at her, "He does not appear to have grown."

"I feared as much," Loki rubbed his head with a hand, it was too soon.

His brother was stubborn, he wouldn't change instantly, he'd fight it every step of the way, he'd focus on how to return instead of how to end his banishment. And that was it, wasn't it? THAT was Odin's plan. When Thor was grown and mature and wise enough to realize the important things, to THINK instead of act, he'd have reached the point where his banishment would be over. Until then…Thor would focus on a way to return to Asgard instead of what lessons there were to be learned on Earth. Thor was missing the point of his banishment, he was missing the reasons for it and what he needed to do to end it.

"What has happened Loki?" Kona asked, knowing that something had to have happened for him to come back so flustered.

Loki sighed, merely turning one of her hands over, placing Gungnir into it and closing her fingers around it. Kona frowned, not sure exactly what was placed in her hand, aware it was a staff of some sort, but as she slowly moved her other hand up the staff, feeling the details of it, her eyes widened and she looked at him.

He nodded, seeing the question in her eyes, "I thought it would be mother," he admitted.

He was SURE it would be Frigga to take up the throne in Odin's place. With Thor, the one who had been trained for the throne and prepared to be king, not there…it made sense that, while she was still alive and while none of her sons had been coronated, that the Queen would take up the position as ruler. It hadn't ever occurred to him that HE would be named king until Odin woke or Thor returned. It truly hadn't, it never had, he'd never wanted to be king, to have all that responsibility put upon him, to know all the lives of Asgard were depending on him and looking to him…it was not a burden he was sure he could handle.

"She would never leave Odin's side," Kona murmured, something he really should have realized, because it was true. Frigga had never left Odin's side in the past, but the Odinsleep had never been so unexpected before, they'd never NOT had time to prepare for it and make plans to deal with it.

"What am I to do Kona?" he shook his head, placing his hands over hers on Gungnir, "I have no desire to be king."

"I know," she whispered, that was something they had talked about many times as they grew, "But…right now Asgard needs a ruler Loki," she gently pushed Gungnir towards him, pulling her hands up from under his to rest them on top of his, "Who better than the man who has always had its best interests at heart?"

He gave her a small smile for that, "It…shall not be for long, will it?" he had to ask.

"I cannot say," Kona told him, "Thor is…more stubborn than Mjolnir."

Loki had to laugh at how true that was. He nodded to himself, "Then I will try my best."

"You shall not have to try alone," she squeezed his hands, "I served Odin, I will serve you too, in any way I can," she offered him a smile, nudging him, "My King."

He felt himself smile at that, at how loyal she was, he knew she wasn't offering because he was taking up the mantle of king, but…because it was HIM. And he couldn't help but think, even if it was to himself, that if HE had to be the king…

He'd love nothing more than if SHE were to be his queen.

A/N: I wanted to take a different look at Loki's question when he asks 'what hope is there for Thor?' In the movie, it sounded like he didn't want Thor to return, but that was just one interpretation. I wanted to look at a slightly different take, what if he asked it because he knew, with Odin asleep, there really wasn't any hope of Thor returning till Odin woke? Just one way to look at it ;)

I know that this scene in the movie (with Loki and Frigga) happened after the Warriors Three and Sif saw Loki on the throne, but in a deleted(/extended) version of this scene it was finished with Loki becoming king, so I moved it up earlier to explain the Warriors Three/Sif seeing him on the throne later ;) Hope it wasn't too confusing! I'm trying to keep it flowing and in some sort of explainable order :)

I'm really glad you all seem to be enjoying the story so far. I really wanted to focus on Loki/Kona in this particular story to explain quite a few things in the next two ;)

Some notes on reviews...

Yup, halfway over! I'm so sad :'( But we'll definitely be getting the Avengers next :)

I can't promise Loki will stay the good guy, but I can say that I have quite a few twists planned for the Avengers and Kona and what she knows about Loki will be very important ;) I can say that some...pretty big things will be happening though }:) Kona won't be able to see the Frost Giants clearer, nope, it's more like a natural limitation that applies to all Frost Giants. She's just never noticed it about Loki because she doesn't look into his future :)

I thought it was cute too to have him ask :) Might be a bit of what I've heard of Tom Hiddleston peeking through, he strikes me as a very gentlemanly person so I could sort of see Loki being all proper and wanting to do it the right way for Kona :) Lol, that happened to a couple people in my first Doctor Who story, they were watching interviews and wondering where my OC the Professor's actress was :) That happens to me when I watch the shows/movies after finishing a story, I get confused as to where the OCs are :)

Their love and trust in each other will definite be very important in the next two stories ;) I really wanted to lay the foundation of their love and how deep it goes in what they think of each other :)