One, two, three. The faces filled his mind slowly starting with those of his own children followed by the ones of his grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. Twenty-one. As the faces moved away from his family they started to go by faster and faster. He couldn't even see their faces anymore as they blurred past him. Every face was surrounded by the flames that burned Gallifrey and he could hear the screams of the people that died. He already knew how many children he had lost during that terrible war. He had counted them before and he knew that over time he would count them again and again. 2.47 billion children had lost their lives that horrible day. Their faces made him weep and he felt physically ill knowing that these poor children would never get the chance to grow up. He pushed the blanket back, no longer seeing Ian. In his mind, he screamed for Jack to help him. To make the counting stop and the screams go away.
"Doctor?" Ian questioned as his hands drifted up to his head. He pulled at his hair as he screamed.
"I can't. Not again," He whimpered.
"What can't you do again?" Ian asked him trying to remain professional. As a psychiatrist, he had seen patients act out before. He had watched them rock, pull their hair, scratch their own arms leaving thick gashes, and lash out at him or anyone else who came close. But while he had seen it all before, he had never seen the behavior from the Time Lord laying in front of him. Besides his name calling, throwing of objects and tendency to ignore Ian when upset, he was normally calmer. "Doctor, you need to talk to me."
"I can't, I can't," The Doctor whispered over and over again ignoring Ian. Ian looked up as there was a knock on the door to the medi-bay.
"Come in," he called out. Jack entered immediately heading to the Doctor's side as he completely disregarded Ian. He had heard and felt the Doctor's cry loudly inside his own head moments before. The fear the Doctor was feeling was enough for him to know that he wasn't just upset with Ian, but truly needed his help.
"I'm here sweetheart," Jack reassured him, putting his hand gently on the Doctor's arm. The Doctor continued to hold onto his head as he whimpered.
"Jack, please help me," The Doctor cried out. Jack snapped his fingers for Osiris to get down off the bed. Osiris ignored him at first, but Jack snapped again and Osiris relucantly got down. Jack didn't care that Ian was still in the room as he climbed up onto the bed holding the Doctor close to him. He pressed their foreheads together as he closed his eyes. Before him he could see faces of children passing quicker than he could count. Fire blazed behind them and their screams filled his ears. Above the screams he could hear the Doctor counting. He didn't ask who the children were as they were all wearing orange.
"Let me in," Jack whispered to the Doctor as he tried to push further into the Docotr's mind but the Doctor stopped him without meaning too. He nudged softly against the Doctor's mind with his own again and the Doctor let him in this time. In his own mind he pictured himself standing in front of the Doctor. The Doctor was kneeling in his mind and just like in real life, he was holding his head as he continued to count the children. Jack could see the red grass blazing with fire in front of him as the screams became louder than the counting. Jack tried not to look at what was going on around him as he focused on the man kneeling. He too had seen war but never on the scale the Doctor had. Still, reliving what happened was just going to send the Doctor into a deeper spiral of depression that could lead to him searching for relief through drugs again. While the Doctor was a stronger telepathic than him, he had learned a few things at the time agency that he hoped would help him to guide the Doctor away from his waking nightmare.
The Doctor had spoke of taking him to the white sandy beaches of Chora on their first trip in the TARDIS. It sounded pleasant as it had been years since Jack had been there. Still, he tried to picture the white beaches glistening under the dark starry night. The moon had been shattered years before but it still hung in the sky in several large pieces that were amazing to see. Kneeling down in front of the Doctor he focused on the beach as he pried the Doctor's hands away from his head. The Doctor stared up at him with fear in his eyes as the fires threatened to burn the white sand as well.
"Run with me," Jack told him. He pulled the Doctor to his feet, taking off at a slow run to begin with as he drug the Doctor along with him. The Doctor fought him at first as the children still overwhelmed his thoughts. Yet, as they ran the count slowed as Jack on purposely snuck distractions onto the beach. Osiris ran beside them barking, a banana tree grew out of an impossible rock and a naked Jack laid under the tree. As they ran the Doctor allowed the distractions to overtake the counting. Soon, he was pulling ahead of Jack feeling free as he ran. The beach ended at a small hotel that had a single bed set up in it. Jack led the Doctor over to the bed helping him to lay down upon it. He held the Doctor tightly pinning him to the bed with a leg over his as he did the same upon the hospital bed. Safe in Jack's arms the Doctor allowed Jack to lull his mind into a peaceful sleep. Opening his eyes back into the medi-bay, Jack turned his head to see that Ian was still their watching them. He wasn't saying anything as he observed their interaction. All of his worry about Jack leaving or resenting the Doctor for forcing him into the bond was gone as even without words Jack had made it clear how much he cared for his lover.
"What did you ask him?" Jack questioned Ian. There was no accusation in his voice just a general curiousity about what happened that caused the Doctor to call for him.
"You know that are sessions are confeditnal Jack," Ian told him apologetically. Jack nodded.
"While you can't tell me, I suggest in the future you avoid the subject of his children or any children that he might have lost on Gallifrey," Jack informed him. Ian nodded as he stood up. With the Doctor asleep there really wasn't a reason to stay any longer at UNIT. He bid Jack farewell, showing himself off of the impossible ship. Jack meanwhile snuggled further into the Doctor. As he held him closer he felt Osiris lick the back of his hand. He leaned up to see Osiris had climbed back on the bed to lay behind the Doctor now. He looked up at Jack as his tails thumped several times on the bed. When Jack didn't make him get down he laid his head back down on his paws closing his eyes. Jack followed his lead, comforting the Doctor's mind as he continued to sleep.
When the Doctor woke up only a few hours later Jack led him out to the console room. They were currently alone on the TARDIS as Martha had gone out into UNIT to check on her other patients. Rather than leave the TARDIS to find her, Jack instead lead the Doctor over to the console. He placed the Doctor's hand on the handbrake, putting his own over it. The Doctor looked at him suspiciously and Jack put a finger to his lips. They had already ran on the white beaches of Chora together, but there was still so much out there to see. Asking the TARDIS to let the Doctor travel, Jack helped the Doctor to release the brake and the TARDIS demateralized from her spot inside UNIT's hospital. The Doctor turned wrapping his arms happily around his lover and pressing their lips together for just a moment before he danced around the console. The TARDIS was on her way again and Jack just hoped that Martha would one day forgive him.