A/N: Thank you all for reading and leaving your lovely comments. This is the end - unless my beta is successful in convincing me to write an epilogue. Thanks again. Thank you SO much. Enjoy.

Chapter 12

The room was cold, and Harvey pulled his jacket on tighter, buttoning it so it wouldn't fall open and let anymore cold air under his layers. He turned to look at the bed behind him, the hospital bed where Mike was lying unconscious. Harvey hated hospitals. He hated the smell, the temperature, the lighting. He hated everything about them, but he hated them more now than he ever had before... because Mike was lying in that bed, the colorless hospital shirt they'd supplied hanging on him a size too large and making him look tiny, wires attached to his fingers and his chest and his head. His breathing was shallow but stable. The beep of the heart monitor echoed quietly.

Mike was alive. The strain in Harvey's chest eased just knowing that. He'd rushed to the hospital so fast that even Jessica had taken a backseat on the need-to-know express. But Mike had a beating heart. He was still breathing.

He watched Mike's closed eyes and memorized the discoloration around his temple, peeking out from under the wrap on his head. Staring at him while he slept made Harvey realize he missed those blue eyes. He missed that dorky smile. He missed the way Mike exhaled when he relaxed after hearing good news. He missed all of those tiny expressions that made Mike a people person while Harvey was more of a machine.

The cold air seeped into his chest when he managed to rip his eyes from Mike's bruised and bandaged face to stare at the machines around him. Nothing. They were all off. When had they turned off? Harvey put his hand on the screen of one, the one he was pretty sure monitored heart rates. He looked back down at Mike, noticed the cords had been removed.

"What?" he breathed out, and breathing at all suddenly seemed hard.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Specter. We did everything we could," Dr. Pavel spoke from beside him.

"What?" Harvey turned to glare at the doctor, but found himself alone. He spun around, anger and fear bubbling up inside him. Pavel had to be wrong. Tried everything? That couldn't mean... Mike wasn't...

Harvey looked down at Mike, grabbed the younger man's hand and checked the wrist for a pulse, held his hand in front of Mike's face to check for breathing. No. No, Mike couldn't be dead. He shouted for a doctor, but no one came. It was just him and Mike and the hospital bed. He felt his throat close up, shook his head, and then dropped his head down next to Mike's, resting on the pillow and Mike's shoulder.

"Mike-," he started, but another voice stopped him.

"I love you."

It was soft and careful and whispered into his shoulder. Harvey opened his eyes and found himself lying in bed. He was holding someone's hand, Mike's hand. He squeezed it and turned to look at his partner. A scream escaped him and he jerked up and away from the body beside him. It was Mike, bleeding and broken, red soaking the sheets around him, and it was on Harvey, all over his hand and his night shirt.

"I love you," Mike said again, exactly as he had before, just as he had that morning when he thought Harvey was sleeping.

Harvey's heart raced and he panted for breath. Mike's eyes were open and looking at him. He looked so dead, so unlike Mike. Harvey could only watch in terror as Mike's hand reached lamely toward him and stopped at the edge of the bed, and then as Mike's beautiful blue eyes, beautiful even partnered with such an un-Mike-like expression, rapidly lost brilliance and the pupils enlarged and dulled.

That's when Harvey's chest felt like it was caving. He shuddered. "Mike?" he asked, reaching hesitantly forward toward Mike's outreached hand. There was no response, not even a twitch or a shift of the eyes. Fear gripped him too tightly. "Mike!"

Harvey's eyes snapped open and he stared, frozen, at the ceiling above him. He was at home. He was in bed. The covers were up over him. Heart still beating hard from the nightmares, he turned his head slowly to look to his left. Relief flooded him when he didn't find Mike bleeding and dead beside him. But it was quickly replaced by confusion when the truth hit him. There was no bleeding Mike Ross in bed with him, but there was also no Mike Ross at all.

Fighting his still anxious heart, he calmly sat up and surveyed the room. Mike should be there, but the bathroom was dark and the whole room was motionless. Harvey opened his mouth to call out when he heard a clink of metal from beyond the door. He slipped out of bed and walked as silently as possible to the door. Light barely registered through the crack that existed, so Harvey wasn't surprised he'd missed it from the bed.

Another soft clink. Harvey knew that sound, and a hesitant relaxation covered him. Only when he'd stepped out into the rest of the condo and saw Mike sitting at the kitchen counter did he let that relaxation soak in. It was three in the morning and Mike was eating cereal.

"Hey," Harvey said in greeting as he walked up. Mike only jumped a little bit.

"Oh.. Sorry, did I wake you up? I was trying to be quiet." He put another spoonful of cereal in his mouth, seemed to debate if continuing to eat was the best course of action, and then looked guilty as he set his spoon back in his bowl.

"No." Harvey reached into his cabinet and grabbed a second bowl before coming around to sit beside Mike. "I scared myself awake. Yeah, I know. Turns out you aren't the only one with nightmares."

Mike watched in confused silence as Harvey stole the box of Cocoa Puffs and then the milk and poured a bowl of cereal for himself. It was only when Harvey stole his spoon and started eating with it that he seemed to snap out of it. Harvey smirked and made sure to take much too long to pull the spoon out of his mouth.

"Hey," Mike complained, but it was such a weak complaint that Harvey didn't even count it. Mike's face turned into a pout and then he slid off his chair to get a second spoon.

Harvey felt warm. "You know we could've shared," he said.

"Yeah right. Like either of us is going to be happy eating every other spoonful. Keep it. I got another." Mike came back around the counter and retook his place. Harvey ate slowly and mostly watched Mike eat, clearing the nightmarish visions of Mike out of his mind and replacing them with the healthy, animated man beside him.

"Could you not sleep?" Harvey asked.

Mike shook his head. "No. I took the Zoloft right after dinner, and it says a side effect is drowsiness, but it also said trouble sleeping might occur. I laid down and tried to sleep, but about two hours after you fell asleep, I knew it wouldn't happen for me. I read one of your books and then I broke out the cereal."

"Ah. Well at least it wasn't nightmares keeping you up," Harvey said.

There was more silence interrupted by just the clinking of their spoons. Then Mike spoke again. "What was it about? Your nightmare."

Harvey shrugged, turning his gaze down at his bowl. He made a noncommittal noise and Mike scoffed beside him. That sort of hurt, but Mike had every reason to be unsurprised at Harvey's silence. Harvey had never been one for open emotion before. Why change now?

He heard Mike's confession of love in his mind, remembered getting the phone call about the accident, remembered walking into the hospital room for the first time and seeing Mike strung up like a clinical Christmas tree. He shook his head.

"You know," he began and pushed his Cocoa Puffs around. "When I first arrived at the hospital after the accident... Pavel met with me outside your room. I hadn't seen you yet, hadn't seen any evidence of what happened to you. Pavel gave me a quick rundown of your injuries... They had done an MRI and you'd had a swelling in your brain. They'd done brain surgery on you before I even arrived. And then Pavel told me... told me they weren't sure if you'd ever wake up. Three days, he said. After three days your chances of waking up with normal brain function decreased dramatically. I told him there was nothing normal about your brain function to begin with."

"Yeah, I don't think mouthing off to the doctor was the best course of action," Mike pointed out, eating the last of his cereal and then moving to steal some of Harvey's.

"Probably not, but I was dealing with the first stage of loss – denial. I mean Mike Ross needing brain surgery? Mike Ross losing normal brain function? The thought of you never waking up? None of it sounded real." Harvey's eyes followed Mike's spoon as the genius stole more of his cereal, but he wasn't eating it so he didn't care. The spoon stopped, hovered over Mike's bowl.

"You..." Mike paused, pressed his lips together. "You went through the stages of loss because of me?"

"Surprised?" Harvey asked. He didn't blame Mike for that. "I got all the way to stage three – bargaining. I told you, right? I actually prayed a few hours before you woke up."

Mike smiled, paused only a few seconds, and then said, "Well I feel bad for the hospital staff that had to deal with you through the anger step."

"Don't worry. I only threatened legal action against one nurse. The rest was entirely internal." Harvey ate a spoonful of cereal and then gave a hard look at Mike, who was looking at him skeptically. "What? I told you yesterday – I'm the one you come to for help. I defend you. Then you wound up in the hospital. I was pretty pissed – at you, at me, at whoever mugged you. Let's just say I seriously considered drugs, I was so agitated."

"Harvey Specter on drugs? Never."

"Shut up, Mike."

There was silence and them sharing a bowl of Cocoa Puffs for several minutes. It was simple. It was easy. It was domestic. Harvey preferred this to dreams of Mike dying on him. He preferred it to the real life possibility of Mike being in a coma forever. He let Mike take a turn at the bowl twice in a row while he tried to process how to express his feelings... because he didn't want to stay all bottled up. He owed Mike more than the emotionally constipated ass he usually was.

Mike waking up... Mike regaining his memories – it was like a second chance. Harvey had felt that way from the moment he'd seen Mike's eyes slip open at the hospital. He didn't know what kind of second chance he'd needed, but he'd known that's what he'd gotten. These last few days? Harvey had a pretty good idea what that chance was for. Donna knew it. Mike knew it. Harvey was the slow one... as usual.

"You," he said.

Mike swallowed his last spoonful heavily. "Me?"

"My nightmare. It was about you. About you dying in front of me while there was nothing I could do to help." Harvey pushed the cereal bowl over to Mike. "Now you know."

Mike set his spoon in the mostly empty bowl. "Wow." He looked up at Harvey, stared into him with those brilliant blue eyes. Harvey felt his stomach stir and recognized the feeling. It was the same feeling he'd gotten while leaning on the guest room door and staring at Mike on the bed.

"Wow? That's all you've got?" he asked, fighting the inclination in his gut.

"Wow, I'm like truly touched. I never knew you cared so much about me that I would shake you so badly. I felt so guilty through this whole thing, thinking I was being such a burden on you and your perfect life and mooching off your perfect house and just generally being in the way... and you were feeling guilty about not protecting me so you became super protective." There was something wrong with the way Mike was speaking, as though he was struggling around something but trying really hard to hide it. Harvey's chest tightened.

"Mike?"

"No, it's really awesome. I thought I was in the way, but you really wanted me around so you could defend me and protect me, and that's cool. It's like this older brother concept, right? I've never had an older brother figure."

And there it was. That's why it felt wrong. Mike thought this was all about Harvey's need to protect him, but he was misinterpreting why Harvey felt the need at all. And now he was trying to cover up the fact that he actually hated that reason.

"Mike," Harvey said more forcefully, causing the younger man to finally stop rambling. "This isn't about family or protecting you. This is..." He paused. How could he make Mike understand? "I'm scared, Mike." Mike looked shocked, and Harvey smiled slightly. He shook his head and let out a sigh, dropping his shoulders. "I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did –"

"– of who I am. That's Dirty Dancing," Mike said, recognizing the quote.

Harvey nodded his head. When he kept talking to finish the quote, he could see Mike's brow knit. "And most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you."

"What?"

Harvey pressed his lips together, searching his mind for more, for something else. "It was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together… and I knew it."

"Harvey," Mike said and shook his head. Disbelief. It was all over Mike's tone. Sleepless in Seattle didn't work? Harvey grit his teeth and shook his head too.

"It's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be really hard. We're gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day." The Notebook. See? Harvey could quote romance movies. He watched those sometimes.

"Harvey, stop it," Mike ordered.

"Why?" Harvey asked. His hand clenched on the counter.

"Because you've never shown any interest in me that way before now. Why should I believe you? Why now?" He stood up from his chair and took several steps away.

Harvey stood up but didn't try to follow him. "We're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?"

"Benjamin Button? Are you still quoting movies at me? Damn it, use your own words, Harvey!" and he shouted. Harvey didn't hold that against him either.

"I'm not good at my own words!" he shouted back. Mike took a half step back. "You know what I tell people? I say 'You mean something to me.' but that sounds like I'm using them. It sounds like bullshit, and I'm trying to be real with you! This is our thing. We quote. Sometimes other people say it better than we ever could, and in my case, they always say it better when it comes to feelings."

"So what? You're trying to tell me you love me?" Mike shook his head minutely.

"I'm trying to tell you that when I look at you for too long, I get this feeling in my stomach and I want to kiss you. But then I just think of Gone with the Wind quotes, which you apparently don't want," Harvey snapped out. Mike was angry. Mike was rejecting him. Somehow, for some reason, Mike was turning him down. "I'm experienced, Mike, but not in things that last. I'm trying to tell you that I heard you confess to me yesterday morning, yes I did, and I've been thinking I want to hear that over and over again, every morning, every day, in my dreams, but I'm emotionally unavailable, and that's why this confession turned into an argument! Because I'm an asshole and you can't believe me."

Harvey had been in love before, back in high school and maybe once in college. One had never known he cared. The other had viciously turned him down. That, mixed with his family issues and learning what it took to be a lawyer, helped him realize you never reveal emotions. You use them to manipulate others, but never let them manipulate you. And somehow he'd still let Mike Ross wiggle through the tiny break in his armor... because Mike was different. Except even Mike was turning him down. Mike confessed to loving him, but he was still turning Harvey away. And Harvey didn't know at all what to do about it.

He watched Mike's face grow tight with confusion and consideration and disbelief and so many emotions... none of them particularly good or in his favor. He clenched his fists by his side, restraining any angry, dumb things he might say in the shadow of rejection.

After several minutes of staring each other down, Mike's lips parted and he spoke very carefully. "You're cynical... and cranky and impossible."

"Mike," Harvey tried to interject, but Mike held up a finger.

"Hush. I'm quoting." He took a deep breath and nodded. "But the truth is, fighting with you is the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Harvey's lips tugged up into a smile. The stupid wedding movie about the perpetual bridesmaid. "I'd rather fight with you than make love withanyone else."

Mike laughed. "27 Dresses meets The Wedding Date. You watch a lot of romance. I never would have believed it."

"Well believe it. I ain't as cruel and vicious as I seem," Harvey said. He felt light. Mike's laugh had shoved out all of the anger and anxiety.

"And now we're quoting Disney movies. Okay. Enough quotes for one night." Mike shifted his weight from foot to foot and moved two steps closer.

"Does this mean you believe me?" Harvey asked. "Because I'm being serious. I want you here, and I want to protect you, and I want to sleep beside you, and I want to eat Cocoa Puffs at three a.m. with you when you can't sleep. I want that. I really do. It just took almost losing you for me to finally admit it. And I know that's cliché and lame and whatever but –"

"Harvey," Mike interrupted. He stepped closer, within easy arms reach. "Stop, okay? I believe you."

"You believe me." Harvey let out a short sigh. That was good. That was really good. And he had that feeling in his stomach again. He smirked a little. Mike believed him. Why fight it?

And then he was grabbing Mike's face and pressing their lips together. And Mike's hands were on his neck and head, and then his shoulders, and Harvey moved one hand to wrap around Mike and pull him closer and peppered kisses over and over on his lips.

"I love you," Mike said when they paused. "Just thought I'd say it out loud and get started on your quota for the day."

"Mmm, you're going to be bad for business. I can tell," Harvey said and kissed Mike again.

And Mike laughed because Harvey was quoting again, but he didn't actually seem to care... which was good, because Harvey loved quoting.

The next day, Donna will smirk and wink and nod suggestively when they come in together and Harvey will tell her to mind her own business. Jessica will stop by to speak to them while they're going over files and officially welcome him back because Donna shot her an email about his memory returning. She'll give him a hard look and a short lecture but end with a smile and a comment about hard headed lawyers she knows with a pointed look at Harvey. Mike will get an apology out of Louis and have to deal with Rachel, but it'll all settle down by the end of the day because everything is as it should be.

But that's for tomorrow, after the sun rises. Tonight, Harvey wants to just focus on cuddling up next to Mike and falling asleep like an idiot in love and waking up to hear his voice and remember that this is his second chance and he's not going to let it go.

The End