When lunch time came around Alex was exhausted, he would have liked to just go home and sleep but he wanted to do this for Nat.
"Hey buddy, what are you writing?" Nat asked as he walked in with Abigail and his dad.
"Stuff," Alex said covering up the page so Nat couldn't see it.
Mr Wolff smiled, he remembered when Alex came home from his first day of school when he was 5, and when he was asked what he did that day his response was the same.
"Ready for lunch?" Abigail asked him.
Alex nodded tiredly, and his dad began to push him out for lunch.
"So, what are you hungry for?" Abigail asked him.
Alex wasn't too sure.
"I don't know, something I don't have to eat with a knife or fork." Alex mumbled
"Why's that man" Nat asked curiously.
"My hands hurt," Alex complained.
Too much writing huh?" Nat asked trying to get his brother to be more talkative.
"Uh huh." Alex said quietly.
"So when was the last time you wrote more than a few words?" Abigail asked.
Alex racked his brain.
"Um……. Ahhhhhhh……. Errrrrrrrrrr……….. I don't know" Alex said slowly.
Abigail looked sadly at Alex. She knew that most of the things he remembered were the same things he wished he'd forget. Not that Alex ever said this to anyone, but they all knew.
"Do you guy's think I'm stupid because I can't remember things?" Alex asked sadly.
"No! Of course we don't Alex, besides you still remember all the important things." Nat said.
"No I don't… I don't even remember what day I was born……." Alex said trailing off sadly.
Nat wondered what else Alex had forgotten, if he had forgotten his birthday who knows what else slipped his mind.
"It's November the first," Nat said softly.
"Which month is that?" Alex asked frustrated, he sometimes felt like banging his head on a brick wall.
Mr Wolff felt bad for Alex, he was having to relearn a bunch of stuff he learnt when he was five. Sometimes it was like teaching a five year old, but no one mentioned this to Alex. They didn't want him to think he even more stupider.
"It's the second to last month of the year, just before December." Nat reminded him, they had talked about this a couple of times, but a lasting effect of both the trauma and the concussion was memory, which the hoped they could fix over the year.
"I hate December….. I hate it I hate it……Just like stupid……….." Alex said trying to remember the next month.
"January?" Mr Wolff supplied.
"Yeah that one," Alex said angrily.
"Hey but what about me? I was born in December." Nat said, he wasn't annoyed, Alex had good reason to hate those months.
"You were?" Alex asked uncertain.
Nat could see Alex was upset and wished he didn't forget things. What made it worse was there was no pattern to what Alex had forgotten. The only way they ever found out was when Alex didn't remember things.
"Yeah, but don't stress about it." Nat said patting his head.
They pushed Alex into a burger bar and Nat and Mr Wolff went and order the food.
"You ok Alex? You look a little lethargic." Abigail said softly.
"Yeah, just tired," Alex yawned.
"Well I have some news that should make you happy." Abigail said looking at him warmly.
"What?" Alex asked trying to sound interested.
"We got you a hot tub."
Alex's eyes widened.
"Really!?" Alex said excitedly.
"Yep, we managed to convince the landlord to let you have it up there." Abigail said, she could see she had just given Alex another burst of energy.
Alex pulled himself up he winced in pain as he hobbled over to Abigail and hugged her.
Abigail hugged him back, she just wished that he would let people know how much pain he was in, she noticed he became extremely tense.
"Thanks M…. M…… Mabaigail," Alex said getting a little frustrated.
"Alex, are you ok?" Abigail asked softly.
Alex stayed quiet for a few minutes.
"Yeah…" He finally said.
Alex enjoyed having lunch with his family, and felt abit sad when he had to go back to school.
Alex struggled through the last page, Angela could see Alex was getting extremely frustrated. He snapped at her when she suggested he rewrite a word before apologizing sheepishly.
"I can see why you think Nat's the best brother," Angela said reading through Alex's finished story.
"Yeah," Alex said quietly as he laid his head on the desk and dozed off.
Angela looked at him, she knew he should be proud of his accomplishment. She knew it was difficult for him. Although she wasn't aware how hard it was to put some of it on paper.
"He did good," Angela said quietly as Mr Wolff walked in and saw Alex asleep.
"Yeah, I just hope he wins, he will be crushed otherwise." Mr Wolff said.
"Yeah, Well I made a couple of photocopies so if he doesn't you can still show it to Nat" Angela said handing him a copy.
"Thanks," Mr Wolff said.
"I think Alex deserves a little sleep tomorrow, he doesn't have to be in until ten." Angela said
At six in the morning Nat woke up, he gently climbed off the top bunk, he saw Alex still sleeping, god knows he needed the rest.
Nat had a shower and walked into the living room where his dad and Abigail were talking over a cup of coffee.
"Hey mom, Hey Dad" Nat said as he walked.
"Hey Nat," They both said together.
Nat was about to ask a question when there was a knock on the door.
Mr Wolff stood up and answered.
"Is Nat and Alex around?" A man asked holding a briefcase.
"Yes they are,"
"Could you get them?"
"Nat yes…. Alex not so much," Mr Wolff replied. "You're here about the thing?"
The man nodded.
"How about you come follow me and you can talk to them," Mr Wolff said.
They both walked in and walked into Nat and Alex's room. Nat followed seeing his dad motion for him to follow.
"What's going on?" Nat asked curiously.
"We will tell you when Alex is awake," Mr Wolff said gently put his hand on Alex's shoulder.
"Dad, I don't want muffins for lunch," Alex moaned sleepily.
"Sorry Alex, but you have a visitor," Mr Wolff said softly.
"Tell them to come back next year," Alex moaned again.
"It's about the thing," He whispered in Alex's ear.
Alex groaned grumpily and tried to roll over and sit up. His dad helped him up.
Alex stared grumpily at the man.
"Sorry Alex, but I thought you would like to know you won."
"Won Schmun" Alex said still annoyed he got woken up.
"Won what?" Nat asked a little confused.
"Alex's story won the competition to name you brother of the year," The man said.
"What, What, What?" Nat asked shocked.
"Brother of the year, which means you both get to spend two weeks in the UK, although seeing as your underage you can take your parents." The man said, looking between Nat who was shocked and Alex who looked like he would like nothing better than to go back to sleep.
"Wait!" Nat said thinking he found something Alex had overlooked. "Alex can't really fly,"
"He can't?" The man said looking from Nat to Alex.
"Yeah, I only wanted to win this so Nat could go," Alex said quietly.
Nat looked at Alex, he wanted to know what he was thinking, because Nat knew Alex would miss him.
"So then what could we do for you?" The man asked.
"A new back would be nice" Alex mumbled on the verge of dozing off.
The man looked around awkwardly.
"How about something that makes you feel better?" Mr Wolff asked.
"Massage would be good," Alex mumbled falling asleep.
The man looked at Mr Wolff.
"I'm could scrounge up a years membership to a health spa so he can have free massages." The man said.
"He'll like that" Nat said softly.
"Yeah, but he won't like being woken up again… which we better to do to so he's ready for school"
"I'll come back later on to sort things out, but if I can I'd like to get a photo of Nat and Alex." He said.
"Alex," Mr Wolff said softly as he gently shook Alex back awake.
"Mmmm" Alex groaned grumpily.
"Come on Alex, We want to get a picture before you get ready for school" Mr Wolff said.
"I don't want to go to stupid school" Alex moaned.
"Why not?" Nat asked softly.
"It's too hard, everything's too hard," Alex moaned.
"You can manage Alex, you survived yesterday." Mr Wolff said softly.
"That's because I can't forget all the shit I've been through" Alex snapped.
"Al, I know it's difficult….." Mr Wolff started.
"No! No you don't! You don't know the meaning of the word difficult! You don't know how difficult it is to do anything when everything you do hurts, and the hurting never stops. You don't know what it's like to try and think about anything when all you can think about is the pain!" Alex shouted angrily.
Nat wanted to say something but Alex wasn't finished.
"You don't know how hard it is to want to stay alive. I just want everything to stop hurting, I just want to die but each time I go to do something, I keep seeing everyone, it's not fair. I want to die…. But I know I can't," Alex said shaking a lot as he began to cry.
Everyone was shell shocked, they knew instantly that this wasn't a once of rant. Alex was in so much pain and was so miserable that if it wasn't for his loyalty and love for his family and friends he would have killed himself.
No one knew what to say or do. Nat was so numb with guilt, it was his fault that Alex was like this in the first place, and it was he fault again that Alex was suffering through so much pain. Mr Wolff was unnerved Alex sounded like he had come so close to taking his own life. Which is something no one his age should ever even have to think about. He didn't realize that Alex had been in this much pain nor that Alex was so miserable. He seemed to be happy at times, but now he wondered if that was just an act.
Abigail quietly entered the room, she had only heard parts of what Alex had said. She had never seen Alex so miserable, so defeated. She knew that this was Alex's darkest hour and she hated the fact that she hadn't seen the signs for what they were.
"Come on Alex, be strong just a little bit longer, I think we should go to the hospital." Abigail said softly, she could see that Alex was so far down the road to the darkest place in his soul that he wouldn't resist her attempts to help.
"What's the point?" Alex sobbed, "All they do is poke me and prod me and they never make anything better,"
"Alex, the point is you don't have to suffer through this, the doctors can gave your stronger medication." Abigail said softly.
"It's going to be ok Alex," Nat said hugging his brother.
The man stood there awkwardly. He knew he had stumbled upon valuable information. But he couldn't bring himself to report it.
"I think we could just use a stock photo," The man said quietly. He would try coming back later to get a picture for another edition.
"Sorry about this," Mr Wolff said.
"There's no need to be," He replied sadly.
The man left while Abigail helped Alex get dressed. She then helped him into his wheelchair