White

While all the kingdom was draped in black, the color Elsa recalled from the day of her parents' funeral was white.

"Your sister is inquiring about you, Majesty," said Kai through the door.

On the other side and in her room Elsa seethed at the use of the style "Majesty". Your Majesty was her father and her mother. She wasn't queen, she couldn't be queen, she was eighteen, she was still Princess Elsa.

But she wasn't. That night at dinner Kai came bursting in, shaken and pale, and announced the king and queen had been lost at sea. And a few days later all hope for Elsa and Anna had been dashed when he solemnly informed them the bodies had been recovered and he said those fateful words Elsa dreaded to hear:

The king is dead. Long live the queen.

And now she was the queen. She would not officially be ordained by the bishop until she turned twenty-one, but from that moment on she could never be a princess again. She was Queen Elsa in practice and title. And in three years she would be Queen Elsa in legality and in the sight of God.

"Inform my sister she need not," Elsa said, opening the door finally. She heard Anna knocking earlier that day and when she, as per usual, did not answer the princess must have fetched Kai.

"And the funeral Your Majesty?"

Elsa swallowed. She should be at the funeral, she was their daughter, their eldest daughter. And she was Arendelle's ruler now, her people should see her as a sign of hope and strength. Anna would need her, she had three years less time with their parents and though it seemed miniscule growing up now it seemed like Elsa had been granted a lifetime longer than Anna had. But that was so many people to be strong for, and Elsa could barely be strong for herself. And what if the magic flared. No not "if" but "when". She shouldn't go.

"I will not be attending."

"Majesty—"

"I'm not to be disturbed Kai."

Elsa felt tears in her eyes and frost gathering at her hands. The last thing she saw before she shut the door was Kai's sympathetic face understanding, or thinking he was understanding, her pain.

And while the world was in black outside, Elsa was mourning in white.

Her room was bathed in frost, the floor and walls and ceiling all covered with a thin layer. Snow began falling from the mist forming overhead. Sometime later she'd have to find a way to fix this, hide the evidence. But for right now Elsa could only think one thing…

Let the storm rage on.

She spent hours in there. The frost was persistent and light layer of snow accumulated on the floor across the room. It must have been freezing in there but Elsa never felt it. Her breath never came out frosted in cold air like others, she never felt the burn ice could bring like others, she didn't know what shivering was like. She was forbidden to feel anything, even in her grief.

Knock. Knock.

"Elsa? Please I know you're in there."

It was her. Was the funeral over already? It must be. How was Elsa going to resist opening the door now? Even with the winter scene unfurling in her room, she didn't care, for just a moment, desperate for the warmth Anna's hug would bring. Elsa walked and her hand hovered dangerous close over the doorknob, wrapped in frost.

But she thought of that night. And she thought of her parents. This is who she had to be strong for. She had to muster strength enough for Anna, to protect Anna, to never break and put her in danger out of selfishness. She could not let her in.

"People are asking where you've been," Anna said. Elsa heard her weight press against the door. She was sitting out there now, she hadn't done that in years. "They tell me 'have courage' and I'm trying…I'm right out here for you. Please let me in."

Elsa heard her crying now and she couldn't hold it anymore. Silently tears fell and fell and Elsa dropped down on the floor, leaning against her side of the door. She wanted to stay there, she wanted Anna to stay, she needed Anna to stay. She'd sit against the door for hours if it meant she could just be close to Anna.

"We only have each other. It's just you and me. What are we gonna do?"

Above Elsa the snow had stopped falling and every single snowflake was suspended in midair. Elsa finally found an emotion so deep that even her temperamental magic refused to trespass against. Despair and grief and hopelessness and loneliness all in one.

"Do you want to build a snowman?"

Yes. No.

Elsa stayed quiet and cried. Anna didn't move for hours and Elsa stayed rooted in her spot just inches from her sister. She should be there for Anna now, but to comfort her now would only put her in danger. Comfort or protect? Hug or shield? How could Elsa ever reconcile them or pick one for the other. Anything she did now, open the door or leave it closed, would somehow be detrimental to Anna.

The sun went down. The white of her room was swallowed into the fading light. White, her color of mourning, was gone into the black the rest of the world sported. Elsa finally got up ever so gently unlocked her door and inched it open. When a weight shifted again it, Elsa knew Anna was still out there. A slightly more open gap told Elsa Anna was fast asleep.

And for one brief moment, Elsa gave in. She slipped on her gloves and opened the door wider, gently catching Anna as she lazily fell back with the door. She was small for a fifteen year old, not yet having reached a spurt of growth that would turn her into a grown woman. Elsa cradled her on the floor for a minute, reminded of the night she held Anna in the same position as she shivered in pain.

Elsa adjusted herself and removed Anna's black cloak and scarf and hat. With the weight lessened to just Anna's small form, Elsa was able to shift Anna into her arms enough to carry her, though by the time Elsa reached Anna's room a few paces away she truly was feeling Anna's dead weight.

She got her to the bed and covered her. She brushed some hair away and left her sister to dream about a lifetime where their parents were still alive. Back in her room Elsa was left to the fading frost and her own kind of mourning.