a/n: the mental image of clarke falling off of a bed in surprise was something that came to me in the middle of the night so of course i had to incorporate it somehow
Clarke entered school that Monday with two cups of coffee in her hands and a glare that could probably cut steel, muttering curt "hellos" to anyone who waved, but not engaging with her fellow students beyond that. That is, until Raven showed up next to her in the locker area, staring first at the two coffees, then at Clarke's backwards sweatshirt, then her bored, exhausted expression.
"What, did you get hit by a bus?"
"It feels like I've been hit by five."
"Who's the other coffee for?"
"Myself."
"Oh." Raven stayed silent for a few moments - no doubt thinking up another snarky comment, Clarke thought - before placing a firm hand on her shoulder. "Well, I should be off to class soon, but I'd suggest taking a shower. You smell like you haven't bathed in a week."
"You're a true friend, Raven," Clarke deadpanned.
"I try my best."
Okay. Clarke might be here today. There's also a strong chance that she might 'not' be here, but it's more likely that she is. That's fine. It doesn't matter if she's here - my life doesn't revolve around her. It would be nice if I saw her, of course, but it means nothing if I don't, and-
"Lexa?" someone croaked. Lexa turned around.
"Oh, Clarke." The other girl slouched in front of her, bags hanging under her eyes. Exhausted didn't even begin to describe her - Lexa honestly wouldn't have been surprised if Clarke had passed out right there on the spot. "Hello."
"Hey." The awkward silence fell over them again.
"I should have brought you soup," Lexa blurted out, after at least thirty seconds of standing in the hallway with nothing to say. Clarke blinked.
"What?"
"Raven told me to bring you soup. That's apparently what you're supposed to do when a friend- er, when someone you know is sick."
"Yeah, well, Raven's kinda fixated on this crazy idea that we're 'hopelessly in love' with each other or something."
"That's a ridiculous notion," Lexa lied, trying to ignore the way her heart was beating faster than any human heart really should have been able to. "Why on earth would she think that?" Clarke shrugged.
"I mean, it's not that-" The bell rang, and Clarke ran off in the other direction without another word.
Clarke didn't see Lexa again until the middle of the day, passing by and giving her a wave as she walked ahead to wherever she even ate lunch. Clarke had more or less resigned herself to the reality of the situation - she would remain almost-friends with Lexa, as she was now, and nothing more would come out of it. There would be hellos in the hallway and the occasional small talk after school, but they would never be-
"Hey!" Clarke nearly jumped as Raven's voice abruptly snapped her out of her thoughts. "Lexa! Why don't you join us?" Lexa stopped in her tracks and appeared conflicted for a moment, her jaw clenched as her shoes dug an imprint in the grass.
"I suppose I don't have anywhere better to be," she finally said, setting her bag down on the ground. Clarke didn't know whether she should move closer or further away. Lexa felt like the sun in that moment, and Clarke knew exactly what happened to Icarus. If she tried something now, it could only-
"Hello? Earth to Clarke?" Raven snapped her fingers in front of Clarke's face. "Are you doing okay?" Clarke gave a non-committal shrug in response.
"Leave her be, Raven," Octavia sighed, turning to face Lexa. "Anyway, your brother seemed like a pretty good kid."
"Aden?"
"Who else here has a brother?"
"You do," Clarke and Raven said in unison.
"You've got me there. Speaking of which, Bell's coming home this weekend."
"Wonderful," Raven muttered.
"Is there some kind of long-running disagreement between you two?" Lexa asked. Raven barked out a laugh.
"Nah, it's nothing like that. He's just kind of . . . overprotective, when it comes to Octavia here, and for some reason he's decided to spread that brotherly protection to her friends to cover up the fact that he can't really do anything about her choices and is also sorta scared of Lincoln."
"That's the thing I'll never be able to understand," Clarke added. "How could anyone be scared of Lincoln? The guy's practically a living teddy bear." Lexa tilted her head to the side - probably trying to remember who Lincoln was - and Clarke tried not to notice how unfairly cute that was.
The lunch period passed by far too quickly, the idle chatter and jokes feeling as natural as breathing under the warm sun, and before Clarke knew it, Raven and Octavia were heading their separate ways with Lexa sheepishly following Raven to calculus while Clarke remained in the middle.
I do not have a crush on Clarke Griffin. I do not have a crush on Clarke Griffin. I do not-
"Dude, you've been blankly staring at this equation for ten minutes. Half the class is done, including yours truly, I might add." Raven leaned back in her chair, propping her feet up on the worn wooden desk. "Did some earth-shattering revelation come to you in the thirty seconds I got up to get water?"
"I have a lot of things on my mind, Raven. It would be best if you stayed out of it."
"So your new nickname for Clarke is 'a lot of things,' huh?"
"Please stop talking." Raven stayed quiet for a moment, looking down at the paper, before springing to life again.
"Oh, yeah, one more thing."
"Does it involve my imaginary relationship with Clarke?"
"Surprisingly, no. I just wanted to tell you that the girl you nearly fought a few weeks ago might be plotting her revenge or something."
"Ontari?"
"Yep, her. She's been muttering to herself about 'destroying Lexa Woods' or something like that. Man, she's like every emo kid stereotype rolled into one. I wouldn't be surprised if every song on her phone was featured in My Immortal at some point."
"Reyes, are you chatting with other students again in class?"
"No," Raven muttered.
Clarke pretended not to know why she felt like she was floating on a pure beam of sunshine, walking on air and almost skipping through the halls. Skipping. I'm skipping like a five-year-old, and for what? For Lexa? The thought didn't make her uncomfortable, per se. She liked the girl enough, she seemed nice, and she didn't have any kind of emotional baggage (at least, none that Clarke knew of yet). It was the idea of any relationship, any at all, that lead her to fear the possibility of these . . . feelings. Still, she couldn't stop thinking about the lunch period, the way she had felt with Lexa scarcely a foot away from her.
Lexa had sat next to her. Lexa had waved to her. There was a goofy grin on her face throughout the rest of the day, and despite herself, Clarke let out a whoop of joy on her way out of the school building.
Oh, god, I have a crush. Dammit.
Anya (cell phone): Lexa?
Lexa: hello anya
Anya (cell phone): How are the attempts at courting the girl from school going?
Lexa: what did i say last night
Anya (cell phone): You don't remember?
Anya (cell phone): To put it simply, you called her a planet, a magnet, a deer, and a flower over the course of one sentence.
Lexa: wonderful
Anya (cell phone): Indeed.
Anya (cell phone): Have you asked her out yet?
Lexa: no
Anya (cell phone): Do you have her phone number, at least?
Lexa: no
Anya (cell phone): Have you even . . . talked to her?
Lexa: a few times
Anya (cell phone): What do you expect me to advise you on, then?
Lexa: you were the one who texted me at dinnertime
Anya (cell phone): Oh. Did I interrupt something?
Lexa: no
Lexa: it was just microwaved soup with aden
Anya (cell phone): In any case, your future wife wasn't the reason I messaged you. I was going to ask if you knew someone named Lincoln. If I'm not wrong, he goes to your school.
Lexa: one of clarke's friends is dating him i think
Anya (cell phone): Oh, you've met the /famed Octavia Blake/?
Lexa: i can't see you right now but i get the feeling that you're rolling your eyes
Anya (cell phone): He never stops talking about her.
Lexa: what does this have to do with anything
Anya (cell phone): Nothing, really. I was only curious.
Lexa: can i leave now
Anya (cell phone): You're probably the one rolling your eyes, Woods. I've known you since the little three-year-old on the playground watched that badass kindergarten swordfighter destroy countless invisible enemies with her stick of magic and power, I know these things.
Lexa (cell phone): i need to go now
"Lexa! Lexa! My soup's too hot!" Aden pointed to the plate in distress.
"Blow on it," she suggested. "I'm going upstairs to do homework." Aden pouted and followed her advice as Lexa carried her books to her room, wondering why everyone seemed to be so invested in her personal life. At least Aden doesn't have any comments about it. He's too young to truly understand relationships, I suppose.
"I'm not going to consult her about this. I'm not going to consult her about this. There are bigger things going on, this doesn't even matter, messaging her about this tiny situation is only going to make it bigger, right?" The stuffed raccoon, as usual, refused to provide any sort of reply. "You're right, Heda. Maybe she'll actually be able to help. I'm sure that it doesn't matter, anyway. This might just provide some closure." Clarke squeezed the raccoon in a tight hug before digging through her bag for her phone.
Clarke: Listen, I know that you said you never wanted to talk to me again after The Incident, and I understand that, but I need your advice.
macklemore: my Certified Lesbian Advice™?
Clarke: Yeah.
macklemore: whaaat, you /finally/ came back to me after our legendary one-night stand for some /advice?/
Clarke: Niylah, it's not a one-night stand if the only things that happened were the two of us ordering pizza and then making out for an hour in the back of your dad's candle shop.
macklemore: don't forget that i added my number into your phone as "macklemore" to retain my anonymity
Clarke: How could I forget?
Clarke: Anyway, that's not why I sent you this message.
macklemore: right, you need my Certified Lesbian Advice™
Clarke: So, there's this girl at my school.
macklemore: go on
Clarke: I don't know her that well, but I like being around her and I feel sort of warm whenever I talk to her.
macklemore: clarke that's gay
Clarke: She has a younger brother and she's always really protective of him, and she walks like she's a queen even though she's actually really nice.
macklemore: clarke that's gay
Clarke: Is that all you're going to say?
macklemore: the brother of one of your friends "accidentally" set the candle shop on fire over the summer
macklemore: i can forgive people for one-night stands, but not property damage
macklemore: especially not in a /candle shop/ i mean how ironic is that?
macklemore: it's actually hilarious which just makes it more infuriating
macklemore: you don't deserve my Certified Lesbian Advice™
macklemore: goodbye clarke
Clarke shot a glare at the raccoon, still perched on her pillow.
"That was a terrible idea, Heda," she muttered. She was just about to release her anger onto the stuffed animal when the unnaturally loud noise of her mother arriving through the front door (and therefore setting off the broken burglar alarm that constantly screeched "halt, front door" or something along those lines every single time someone walked even slightly close to it) caused her to yelp in surprise and lose her balance, clutching Heda as she fell off the bed.
"I'm home!"
"I heard. Ow."
"Clarke? Are you alright? I just heard something crash and-"
"I'm fine, Mom. The cold's almost worn off."
"I saw that girl from your grade today, what was her name? She's in Raven's calculus class. Anyway, she told me that she was going to come over later today to bring you soup." Clarke flung Heda to the side, and the raccoon hit the wall with a saddening thump.
"Lexa?"
"Lexa, that's her name! She's coming over later, or at least she said that she would. You never know with kids your age." Clarke gave Heda an apologetic pat on the head and set her back on the bed, her mind overflowing with thoughts. Lexa's going to come over here tonight. She's going to see my house. She might see my room. She might talk to me about things.
"You'd better step up your wingman game," she whispered to Heda.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!"
"I'm going to deliver this soup to Clarke's house. It's late, but she's probably still awake, and Ms. Griffin told me the address of the house. I have the soup, it's fresh, and Clarke seems to be comfortable in my presence." Lexa was just about to step out of the house when Aden barreled in with an oversized foam sword in his hands and a scowl on his face.
"You're doing this again?" he groaned. "I'm getting tired of leftover soup, Lexa."
"I'm actually bringing it to her this time," Lexa retorted.
"You li-ike her, don't you?" A cheeky grin spread across Aden's face. Lexa set down the soup and snatched the sword from her brother's hands, lightly tapping him on the head with it.
"Say that again," she dared him, smirking as Aden stared up at her in mock fear.
"Never!" the boy squeaked, picking up a lamp and brandishing it defensively. "You'll never hear my secrets, Lexa Woods!"
"Oh, really?" Lexa swung the sword against the lamp as she tried to stop herself from breaking out into laughter. "You'll tell me, young Aden, I know of it."
"You un-der-essimate me!"
"Underestimate."
"Whatever!" Aden lunged at his sister with the lamp in hand. Lexa's instincts kicked in, and she quickly grabbed the lamp and placed it back on the table.
"That's dangerous, Aden. You could get hurt." Aden pouted. "Hmm, why don't you go upstairs and try to see if you can find another foam sword? That might be less likely to set things on fire."
"Why do we even have lamps?" Aden wondered. "Your candles could probably light up the whole house."
"I'm not allowed."
"Oh." The boy skipped upstairs without another question. Lexa looked back at the bowl of soup with a sigh, eventually giving up and bringing it back to the kitchen and resolving to talk to Clarke the next day as an exchange.