Lullaby

(link to the song: watch?v=Zep8ZFcZztM)

"It's a song I learned as a young girl," Mama explained, "Ich Hab Die Nacht Getraumet.

"Ich Hab Die…Nat…Nack…Getru…" Anna tried out the German words on her four year old tongue.

"Ich Hab Die Nacht Getraumet," Elsa said perfectly, "I Dreamed the Night."

Anna stuck her tongue out at her older sister and Elsa made a face before smiling and winking. Anna came over to Elsa's bed and plopped herself up on her older sister's lap while Mama sang.

Ich hab die Nacht getraumet

Wohl einen schweren Traum

Es wuchs in meinem Garten

Ein Rosemariebaum

The melody was haunting and while it had Elsa captivated, Anna soon drifted off to sleep in her sister's arms, snoring lightly into Elsa's nightgown. The song went on for more verses and Elsa listened intently as the story played out of a woman wandering a garden, sensing the death of her loved one.

Ach Liebster, bist du tot?

"Loved one where art thou…" Elsa echoed at the end.

"We used to sing it often at recitals we had for Grandmama, it's not much a lullaby but it seemed to do the trick for Anna." Mama smiled at the four year sprawled out on top of Elsa, quite comfortable.

Mama often talked about growing up in Prussia, often about her sisters and her own mama. About the food they'd eat, about the balls she attended before she married Papa. Elsa wondered if Mama wanted to go back to Prussia and live there sometimes.

"We'll have to work on your sister's German," Mama said, "It won't do when Grandpapa comes to visit in a few weeks." Elsa hid a shudder. The King of Prussia was a towering, large man, who spoke angrily and loudly. She'd start helping her sister in the morning.

Mama bid them goodnight and in lieu of waking Anna up to go into her own bed, Elsa slid out from under her allowing her sister to stretch out on the bed. Elsa covered her and she sleepily snuggled tightly into Elsa's pillow. Elsa smiled and joined her sister under the covers with the quiet hum of the song stuck in her head.

Elsa played the song often growing up on piano or hummed it to herself. But the first time she truly felt the weight of words and melody was the day she learned her parents were dead. She retreated into the library and locked the door, though Anna was outside banging away, demanding to be let in.

But Elsa pounded away on the piano the lullaby from so long ago.

Loved one where art thou?

Gone into the sea and never returned. They died far from home in ice and rain and wind. Was it cold? Did they die cold? Were their last thoughts a wish for a warm bed? Did it hurt? Did they think of their daughters as they were dropped into the sea?

Elsa pounded harder on the keys to keep herself from crying. She was aware of the frost quickly creeping across the keys. Mama and Papa were gone. All she had left of them was the lullaby, her father's crown, and the damn gloves.

Elsa walked about the castle at night often and many times she'd stop outside Anna's door to her the sniffles of her younger sister within. When Anna was asleep she'd steal away into the room and watching over her, never touching, and leaving when her emotions got too high before a frost could creep into the room dangerously.

"We're allowed to talk about it," Anna said one day, having snuck into the library while Elsa was playing at the piano.

"Nothing to talk about," Elsa said, not looking up from the keys.

"Elsa's there's a lot to talk about," Anna said. She sounded distraught and defeated by her sister. "Mama and Papa are gone….I know you and I don't really share much but…we did share them."

Elsa felt multiple pangs in her chest as Anna continued to talk. And with each one she hit her chord in forte on the piano.

Love one where art thou?

"I know you're gonna be queen now and you've got a lot to do but that doesn't mean you don't feel anything because I know you do. You were Papa's favorite…" it was all said in a whisper and that made Elsa feel worse.

"Well you were Mama's so we're even," Elsa said.

Anna seemed to only get angry at that. She marched over to Elsa and glared daggers at her while Elsa continued to watch the piano.

"Even queens can cry Elsa," she said.

Elsa couldn't blame Anna for her anger. Elsa was being difficult, but she did it on purpose in the hopes that Anna would get angry enough to leave. But Elsa's stubbornness only seemed to spur the princess on. But still, Anna's argument was flawed.

"No, they can't actually," Elsa slammed the cover down over the keys and stood, full height, significant inches above Anna, "Everyone else gets to cry I get to clean up the mess. I get to be the tear free face everyone looks to. You cry Anna, I get to be the person holding the tissue for you."

"Well, you'd have to actually be willing to be around me for more than five minutes for that to be true," Anna mumbled. Elsa sighed.

"I have work to do."

Elsa turned and starting leaving.

"That's most you've talked to me in years you know," Anna called, "Mama and Papa are dead and you talk to me more than you ever have before, I know my sister is in there somewhere. I don't know what happened to her, but she's in there." Perhaps Anna sung to herself at night the same chorus: loved one where art thou?

Elsa continued out the door with the melody still playing in her head.