"I only wish that you would return home to me
And I could bathe in your familiarity
But I realize this is a hopeless dream
We have traveled too far."
-Dear Reader, "Elephant"
As we walked, I couldn't help but look at his hand. Sasuke had nice hands, and I wished I had realized that sooner - before everything happened, I mean. I really wanted him to hold my hand at that moment, but I knew that wasn't possible. For instance, he was still dating Karin (as much as I hated it), and I knew Sasuke was faithful in his relationships, no matter how bitchy they were. It was something that I respected about him.
So there would be no hand-holding - I knew that at least.
Still, we talked more about our families as we walked. I feel like Sasuke had been wanting to get it off his chest for a while, because it all seemed to spill out. Maybe Naruto had been so busy with Hinata that he hadn't realized that Sasuke needed to talk.
"It's great having the house to myself sometimes," Sasuke said, "but it's frustrating too. Ever since our parents died, Itachi's always been at work." He avoided my gaze - a classic Uchiha move when they didn't want to show emotion. Sasuke's dad was just like that before he died, and so was Itachi. The only person in Sasuke's family who was remotely keen on emotions was his mom. Of course, I couldn't tell him I knew that.
"I'm sorry," I said, "have you tried talking to him about it?"
He shook his head. "It wouldn't do any good. My family isn't one to... talk." That was for sure, I thought. In fact, after his parents died, Sasuke had been over at my house a lot, even sleeping over in the guest room sometimes when my mom insisted. My parents were close with Sasuke's family (from us being friends), and wanted to make sure he was taken care of.
Now, I wasn't sure if he was okay. I knew he had Naruto, but Naruto was always busy with something. Granted, so was Sasuke, but it must have been lonely living by himself without Itachi most of the time.
I shrugged. "Sometimes you have to," I said, "if you want things to get better." I had told him that about Itachi before.
"I know," he sighed, "I've been told that before." At least he remembered my advice! Just not who gave it to him.
I could tell he didn't want to talk about it anymore (after knowing him for so long, I could basically read his mind), so I changed the subject. "Do you have plans for Christmas?"
He shrugged. "The same thing, pretty much. I'm just going to focus on my GPA for the rest of the semester... You already know I want to get into Harvard." He gave me a wry look.
I blushed, remembering my slip-up months ago. "Hey," I said, "I heard that from someone."
"Keep it a secret, okay?" He said. "I'm not going to tell anyone until the spring."
"Of course," I said, happy that he was confiding something in me. Even though I already knew it.
"Have you thought about where you're going?" He asked me.
At the beginning of the semester, with the hope of getting Sasuke to love me and still wanting to go to college later on, I had already filled out my college applications. I had done my best to recreate my essays from the last time I wrote them, and I think they turned out pretty good.
"I'm not sure yet," I admitted. Last time, I had been accepted into a state school with the program I wanted for medicine, but I wasn't sure if I wanted that anymore. I felt like I had made myself up to be someone who was interested in that - and while I was good at science, I found myself enjoying English and Art better than my other classes. Maybe it was because I was just trying to enjoy myself before I died at this point, but I was at a loss for what to do in the future.
"There's still time," Sasuke said. But my time was running out. Thankfully, I had already submitted my applications to a variety of schools - from well-renowned to state schools, to the community college nearby (because what the heck).
"I'm not worried," I said, "I'll figure something out when it comes to it. Right now, I'm just focusing on other things."
"I wish I could do that." Sasuke said. "I'm so busy, I just want a break sometimes."
I nodded. "Doesn't everyone?"
We talked like that for a while, and I felt myself losing track of time. It was like we had catching up to do - I asked him about how everything was going for him. He was happy for Naruto and Hinata, but he hadn't been spending as much time with his friend, and I could tell he was lonely. He had been hanging out with Neji Hyuuga a lot, apparently, and knew all about their families being together for Thanksgiving.
"Neji doesn't have a girlfriend, does he?" I asked him.
"What," he said, "are you interested?"
I laughed. If only he knew. "No, I'm just thinking." Maybe I could set him up with Tenten before I left. Something told me that their personalities would go together really well.
He only shook his head. "Whatever you're thinking, leave me out of it."
When it was time for me to go back home, I apologized to him. "My family's only here until tomorrow morning," I said.
"I need to go back anyway," he said. I wondered if it made him sad. I knew he could get anyone he wanted, as popular as Sasuke was, it wouldn't be hard. But I knew that he had a hard time opening up to most people - Sasuke was only really close to Naruto and me (when I was still relevant). Still, it made me sad. I wanted to keep him company, and I wanted to make sure he was okay. Even if it was just as friends, I wanted to be relevant again.
"I'll see you at school," I said, "have a good rest of the break."
He nodded. "Goodnight."
When I walked back inside, my mom was waiting for me. "So," she said, "any new developments?" I swear, sometimes my mom was so weird.
"No mom," I said, "he's just a friend."
"'Just a friend' my ass!" Called my aunt from the living room.
"You're grandmother's upstairs in your room," my mom said apologetically, "she's in bed already because they have an early flight tomorrow. You should probably go say goodbye, unless you want to wake up at three in the morning."
I nodded, and walked up to my room, where I found my grandma in my bed reading my copy of Pride and Prejudice. Now that I thought about it, she was the one who introduced me to those books in the first place.
"It's good to see you still reading our favorites," she smiled. Although she could be hard to get along with sometimes, I always knew that she loved me. And sometimes that was all I needed.
"Of course I am," I said, suddenly feeling sad. This could be the last time I saw her - we usually visited in the summer, but I wouldn't have another one of those if I wasn't careful.
"You'll have to come to my house in the summer," she said, "before you go off to school. I have some more books I think you'll like."
"That sounds great, Grandma." I said, and I meant it.
We talked a little more - about how my classes were going, and about my friends (who's names she never remembered), but it was nice. She told me a story about some of the ladies that she played cards with on Sundays, and it was funny. It was almost similar to the gossip in high school that I thought I would escape one day. Then, when she insisted that she needed to get some sleep before the morning, I said goodnight.
"I love you," she said, "and I'm so proud of you." I had to leave before she saw me cry.
On Monday when we came back to school, it was like everything was ablaze with gossip from the weekend. Apparently Naruto's presence at the Hyuuga family dinner was a hit, and Hinata's family loved him now (I heard this from Hinata, of course). I wasn't surprised - everyone loved Naruto, or ended up loving him after getting to know him better. Even though he wasn't the smartest, and was loud most of the time, there was something about him that everyone adored.
The other stories had to do with a lot of my classmates getting together the night before and getting wasted. Which explained the large amount of hungover students that day. It had been a party at Kiba's house the day before, and only the "elite" of the school were invited (I wasn't invited of course, but I heard about it from Ino when we were shopping the day before - she was only thinking about making an appearance, even after ditching Kiba for Shikamaru at the Homecoming dance). From what I heard, Karin had been there and she had been rather... promiscuous. To say the least.
While this made me a little smug - Sasuke should have known better than to go out with that idiot, but then again, it wasn't his fault that Karin was a bitch - it also made me feel sorry for Sasuke. I wondered if he heard about what happened (even I didn't know the details).
I could tell that something big had happened the day before, because Karin didn't have the energy to taunt me during English. She just groaned, and put her head on her desk. There was a large bottle of water sitting next to her - probably provided by her friend Ami, who looked better, but still looked a little miserable. Good. I hoped their hangovers lasted all day.
To my surprised, Ino was fine. "Sakura!" She said, brightly. "Thanks so much for hanging out this weekend! It was awesome!"
Ami scowled at me, but it seemed like that was the only thing she had energy for.
"No problem," I grinned, "we'll have to do it again sometime." I said this while I was walking over to sit by Hinata, who was smiling slyly beneath a book she was reading in her spot at the back of the class. "What's up?" I said. "You look like you're up to something."
Hinata giggled. "It's nothing," she said, "just... you've changed."
"What do you mean?" I said. I hoped she wasn't mad about me hanging out with my new friends or something. Not like Tenten, who - although she didn't vocalize it - had a permanently sour look on her face during lunchtime - now that Ino and Shikamaru (and usually Sasuke) had started sitting with us too.
"I can't explain it," Hinata said, "it's not bad. You just look happier." She smiled. "I'm happy for you is all." Hinata was so sweet. I was really glad that we had become friends in my time of need.
The rest of the day passed by easily - for me, at least. I noticed that Sasuke wasn't at lunch that day, which was weird, and not even Naruto knew where he was. I suddenly had a bad feeling about it, and hoped that he was okay.
It wasn't until after calculus that I finally got to talk to him.
"Hey," I said, "you weren't at lunch today. Is everything okay?"
"I broke up with my girlfriend." He said bluntly. I wondered why he was suddenly spilling everything to me - and then I realized that I didn't care, as long as he was talking to me. He wasn't showing emotion, but that didn't mean he wasn't upset.
"I-I'm sorry," I said. Were the rumors about Karin this weekend true?
"Not your fault," he grumbled, "I just don't appreciate dating girls that make out with other guys." So they were true! That bitch! I was torn between being elated that Sasuke was single again, and wanting to punch Karin in the face for hurting him.
"Well, let me know if you need anything," I said, "I've been in the same position before, and it sucks." Well, that was true. When I had been dating Kiba (the second time after we broke up) I had caught him cheating on me with some junior girl after a pep rally. Honestly, it didn't really surprise me, but it still hurt.
He only nodded. "I'll do that," he said.
"Does this make us friends now?" I blurted out. Dammit Sakura!
"Yeah," he smirked, "I guess it does."
I said goodbye to him then, trying to make it seem like what he said hadn't been something I had been hoping to hear for months. Inside, I was celebrating. For me, having Sasuke tell me that I was his friend now meant more than anything.
Author's Note: Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your awesome reviews! :) I really appreciate hearing from everyone - you guys are awesome! Anyway, this chapter isn't as long as the other ones I've written so far, but I have a feeling that the next one will be pretty long. I hope that the dialogue doesn't sound strained, and if there's anything you want to suggest to me that you think will make my writing better, please tell me! It doesn't have to be something like spelling or grammar either. I would love to hear feedback about the flow of the story, and stuff like that too.
As always, please review and let me know what you think! I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. :)