Thanks to Nicffwhisperer, Kikki7, Vampshavelaws, Julie, KittyVuitton, Stephanie, Perry, Jaime, Nolebucgrl, and Sydney Alice for all of their help pre-reading/betaing and supporting my crazy ass. Special thanks to SusanQ who helps me out with my last-minute changes. I'm always tinkering until right before posting and any mistakes are mine.
Truths
I entered our bedroom just as Edward was walking out of the bathroom. The blood raced in my veins as I watched him stroll over to the bed. He gave me a knowing smirk as he sat back against the headboard and clasped his hands on his toned stomach.
He knew exactly what he did to me. I should have been irritated that he enjoyed it so much, but I was too busy ogling his perfection.
I snapped myself out of my Edward-induced haze and decided two could play at this game. I'd continue the thank you from earlier in my own way.
After closing the door, I pulled off my shirt and shorts on my way to the bathroom. I felt his eyes devouring me from across the room as I stripped down. I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face before flipping the light off and walking back out toward the bed.
His gaze was still trained on me as I approached, clad only in my panties and bra.
When I stood right next to him beside the bed, his eyebrow lifted slightly. I knew he was wondering what I was doing. I bit my lip, trying to figure out the best way to go about being seductive.
I reached behind, unclasping my bra and slowly slipping it off. His lips parted as he watched me, bolstering my confidence. Neither of us had uttered a word, making the scene seem even more erotic.
His eyes met mine again as I slowly crept up on the bed to straddle him. When his hands moved to touch me, I shook my head and pushed them away until they rested on the bed.
He was always in control in the bedroom. It was my turn. I wanted to drive him crazy.
I kissed his lips softly before making my way down his body. I'd been nervous over our honeymoon about how to touch him. Unsure of what he liked. He'd told me that any time I touched him, it felt good. It was hardly a chore to educate myself on the ways my fingers, lips, and tongue could make his muscles strain or make him moan out in pleasure.
I took my time, touching and kissing and teasing, trailing down his chest and abdomen, giving every inch of his skin the attention it deserved. When my lips made a path down the trail of hair leading under his boxers, his cock twitched beneath me.
I kept my smile to myself.
I slipped my fingers into his waistband and he lifted his hips so I could pull his boxers off. I quickly returned to where I'd left off, grasping his cock in my hand as I straddled his legs. His silence was broken when my tongue swirled the tip and I took him in my mouth.
"Fuck, Bella."
I liked the way he was putty in my hands—or mouth—but I had something else in mind for tonight. I released him from my mouth with a pop and sat back up straight. He looked a little disappointed, but I knew it wouldn't last long.
He liked to watch me, so I was going to give him a show.
My hands trailed up my thighs, along the side of my hips and waist, before moving to cup my breasts. His jaw tensed as my fingers traced over my nipples. I gently moved up over him, aligning our hips and while one of my hands rose to brush through my hair.
His breathing shallowed as I continued my performance, his hands fisting on the sheets while he restrained himself from touching. He audibly exhaled when one of my hands slipped into my panties and the other remained on my breast.
My head fell back as I touched myself, my mind reliving all the ways I loved when his hands were on me. I bit back a moan as my orgasm built while I stroked myself.
"Wait." His deep growl surprised me and I looked up to find him ripping my panties off and pulling them away from me to toss on the floor. "I want to see you."
I gave him what he wanted, letting my fantasies take over my head. It wasn't long before I was moaning with abandon, my orgasm ripping through me.
Edward waited no longer, his arms pulling my body to his.
"I need to be inside you now," he said between frantic kisses.
One of his arms lifted me around the waist while he guided his cock inside me. I threw my arms around his neck and gripped him tight as he thrusted hard. We both moaned out when he filled me.
It wasn't slow and it wasn't sweet. It was hard and sweaty and felt amazing. I hung on for dear life as he held me suspended above him.
"That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen." His words were accentuated by his pounding rhythm.
Each time he drove, he hit a new place deep inside. He panted and grunted against my skin and I cried out knowing I was close to coming again.
Edward yelled out with his release and I came hard as he pulsed inside me. Our bodies rocked gently as waves of pleasure coursed through us both. I collapsed against him and he sat back against the headboard again, massaging the muscles in my legs while his lips found mine.
"Baby, that was amazing," he said, kissing me softly.
My fingers threaded through his hair as we came down. We finally stilled and I opened my eyes to meet his gaze.
"Thank you," I told him.
"For what?"
"For flying Alice out here like that. I can't even tell you how much that meant to me."
He chuckled and helped me off of him so we were lying face to face on the bed. His arms wrapped around me, ensuring our bodies didn't venture too far apart.
"I will buy Alice an entire fleet of planes if you keep thanking me like that."
I laughed against his chest, his hand stroking up and down my back. We were silent for a few minutes as I debated with myself. I wanted to talk with him about several things, but I also didn't want to ruin the moment.
"You're thinking awfully hard. What's going on in that head of yours?" He definitely opened up the line of conversation with his question.
I looked over at him and brushed some hair off his forehead. My heart melted when he leaned into my touch as my hand palmed his cheek. He was so beautiful; it was hard to believe he was really mine.
He was mine.
It felt good to say it in my head.
In my heart.
"Can we talk for a bit? Do you have anything pressing early tomorrow?"
He stared at me intently, and I could almost feel the worry bubbling up inside him. "I can always make time to talk. What's going on?"
"There are some things I want to discuss with you. I think it's important."
As much as I detested the thought of discussing his ex after we had just enjoyed incredible sex, it simply had to be done. I decided the band-aid method would work best. Just rip it off.
"Tell me what happened between you and Kate."
His eyes widened in surprise. "Who told you?"
"It doesn't matter. I want to hear what happened from you." I gently ran my fingers through his hair again.
"Why? She is in my past. She has nothing to do with us." He closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths.
It was obvious he didn't believe the lies coming out of his mouth either. I gave him a couple minutes of silence.
It was like a switch had been flipped. No longer was he the powerful man I knew. He looked vulnerable. Helpless. Sad. Whatever had happened was clearly painful and likely embarrassing, but it needed to come out.
"Please talk to me. Tell me what happened."
He sighed heavily, turning on his back and looking at the ceiling. I remained quiet, giving him all the time he needed to get it out.
"I've known her most of my life. We pretty much grew up together because our families were close. I always thought she was beautiful, but we were never more than friends for a long time. After college, she spent a few years in Europe. The first time I saw her when she got back, I was mainly still in L.A. She showed up in town and we decided to meet and catch up.
"She was twenty-five and I was twenty-seven, and we kind of fell into a relationship. It was easy, natural. We basically lived together and I even broached the topic of marriage a few times. I thought she loved me as much as I loved her."
He chuckled darkly and I took his hand in mine.
"She came to me one day, scared and crying. I was freaked out and did everything I could think of to calm her down. When she finally told me she was pregnant, I was actually happy and excited. I held her, told her everything would be great, assured her we could get married immediately. Even though it wasn't planned, I was ecstatic. I went out the next day and bought her a huge engagement ring and rushed home to surprise her."
He paused and gulped down some air. I wanted nothing more than to hug him and kiss him, but he needed to get the rest out first.
"I surprised her all right," he said sarcastically. "I walked in to find her fucking my best friend, Jake."
Holy shit!
I wanted to kill both of them even if I didn't know them.
"It got ugly. I'd never felt so betrayed in my life. The two best friends I had in the world fucked me over at the same time. In the worst way." He paused and took a couple shuddering breaths. "She then went and had an abortion without even talking to me beforehand. She just did it and told me a couple weeks later when she came to get her things out of my house. It came out like she was telling me she cancelled a credit card. Like it was nothing. Like it meant nothing. She killed our baby so she and Jake could be together. It...it shattered me."
I tried to hold back the sob in my throat, but I couldn't stop the tears. The pain in his voice was so overwhelming, and I wanted nothing more than to ease it. I threw myself on top of him, hugging his body as hard as I could.
"I'm so sorry, Edward."
There were no other words I could find to comfort him.
What could I say?
It was no wonder he didn't trust anybody. If I ever saw those assholes, Kate or Jake, I would rip them apart with my own hands.
He rubbed my back as I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
"I'm pathetic, right?" he whispered.
"No!" I pushed myself up so I could look him in the face. "Don't even think that. What they did was not your fault."
He pulled me back down and held me close, sighing into my hair. We lie silently for a couple minutes, our arms still wrapped around each other. When I hugged him tighter, he would return it. It turned into a Simon Says game, three short hugs, then two long, then two short, repeat.
Simon Squeezes?
I giggled against his skin and he laughed.
"Thank you for being here, Bella."
I had more questions and we definitely had more to discuss, but what he needed right now was comfort. I kissed his neck again before whispering the words I knew he longed to hear.
"I won't leave you."
~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~
I woke up groggy and alone in our bed the next morning. I didn't take it too hard that Edward didn't wake me up to say goodbye. I knew he would likely be nervous about my response to what he'd told me last night.
I was going to make it a mission to reassure him over the next few days. Fortunately, it was a Friday so we would have more time together over the weekend.
After showering and dressing, I met Alice and Hannah downstairs for some breakfast.
"How did you sleep last night?" I asked Alice, who was inhaling a stack of pancakes.
"Excellent! That bed is so comfortable. I may just move in here." She winked to let me know she was joking, although I didn't think it was that bad of an idea.
"Do you want to meet Rose today?"
At her eager nod, I called Rose and asked her to meet us here in an hour. The three of us decided on a day of relaxation by the pool instead of another shopping trip. Alice was still jet-lagged and I wanted a break from all the spending.
"This is the life," Alice said a few hours later, floating around the pool in a tube with a frosty drink in her hand.
I laughed from my lounger, Rose and I drying off in the sun from our swims. It was a perfect day filled with sunscreen, bikinis, girl talk, and sunshine.
"You are a lucky woman, Bella," Rose added.
I shrugged and pushed my sunglasses back up my nose. It was nice to be able to live like this and it was hard to believe how much had changed in a few short weeks. But it wasn't like I'd asked for all this. I had never shirked from work or taking care of myself. It wasn't my fault that Edward had offered paradise on a silver platter.
"I don't think it was as much as luck as it was fate. Edward and Bella were supposed to find each other."
I smiled at Alice, for once her romantic nature making me feel warm inside.
The only disruption of our day in the sun was a phone call from Esme. She excitedly told me she'd secured a place for a wedding reception. I didn't get much of a choice since she was in the process of sending out invitations as we spoke. I went along with the plan, not wanting to disappoint her or Edward, and also agreed to meet her for lunch on Monday to finalize details.
I tried not to let my anxiety ruin my day with the girls. Even though I wasn't much for being the center of attention, it was apparently important for the Cullens and Edward that our marriage be publicly celebrated, and I was not about to go against the flow on this one.
Not much later, Alice, Rose, and I were all startled when the music flowing over the patio area was shut off.
"This is a felony waiting to happen."
I glanced over to see Emmett had walked out of the house, followed closely by Edward. My heart sped up at the sight of him and I wondered if I would ever not have that reaction to his presence.
By this time, Alice had joined Rose and me on dry land, and she stood from her chair to meet the other Cullen brother. Edward walked over and sat down on the side of my lounger. My attention was focused on him rather than Emmett and the girls.
He trailed his finger along the warm skin of my thigh, and I shivered from the coolness of his temperature. Or maybe just from him.
"Checking to make sure you aren't overdone." He gave me a silly smirk.
I was happy he seemed okay after our talk last night. "I'm wearing plenty of sunscreen."
He nodded before leaning close to whisper in my ear. "Do you know how hard it is for me to keep my hands off of you right now? We still need to christen the pool."
His fingers moved along the line of my bikini bottoms to where the strings were tied close to my hips. I held my breath to see what he was going to do, and I was close to demanding our audience go inside so I could attack my man.
Unfortunately, we were interrupted.
"Edward, quit humping Bella. Let's all go out."
I pulled my sunglasses off and glared at Emmett.
"We're all sweaty and grimy from being out here all day. Let us girls at least take a shower before we go anywhere," Rose demanded.
Emmett grinned widely. "Can I join you?"
I ignored their flirting banter, turning back to Edward. "Do you want to go out?"
He shrugged and linked our fingers together. "Whatever you prefer is fine with me."
I squeezed his hand and watched his face closely. He seemed tired and stressed. I finally stood and coordinated different rooms for Alice and Rose to get ready in and pulled Edward to our bedroom so I could question him further.
He sat on the bathroom counter as I showered; he was pouting because I wouldn't let him join me under the water.
"Edward, you don't have to go out. You can stay here and rest."
"Only if you stay here, too."
I rolled my eyes, happy he wasn't able to see my expression through the steam. He was such a contradiction of a man.
More arrogant, smug, and powerful than I ever could have imagined.
And more insecure than anyone I'd ever met.
"Alice starts her summer orientation course on Monday, so I won't get to see her much on weekdays for a month or so."
"I'm not complaining that she's here or that you want to spend time with her, Bella. I'm happy you have your best friend here for you."
I turned off the water and wrapped my hair in a towel before drying off the rest of my body and stepping out of the shower.
"So you are okay with her being around this weekend?" She'd agreed to stay over again tonight, but would spend tomorrow night at her dorm to get situated.
He reached out to pull me closer to him. I stepped forward, standing between his legs. His hands slid down my back, finally resting on my butt as his fingers played with the bottom edge of the towel I was swathed in.
"Sure. I'll take you two on a subway ride." He chuckled against the skin of my neck.
"Oh, I see. It's acceptable to ride the subway as long as you are there." I rolled my eyes and tried to pull away. He just held me tighter.
"Exactly," he mumbled between kisses.
"You are ridiculous sometimes. I hope you know that."
I brought my hands up, rubbing his scruffy jaw before leaning back to look in his eyes. As much as I wanted to get angry with him and his overbearing ways, the need to make him happy was stronger. I knew how difficult it had been for him to tell me about Kate last night. I was feeling uneasy about my withholding the fact I'd talked with Alice about everything, especially since he'd opened up and been honest with me.
His eyebrow raised in question as he waited for me to speak.
"Alice knows."
He swallowed and looked down. "Alice knows what?"
"About the contract." I waited for him to say something, but I continued when he didn't. "I'm sorry. I told you how impossible it would be for me to keep from her. Don't be mad."
He sighed and hugged me tighter again. "I'm not mad. I know how important she is to you. Did you tell her about what we discussed last night?"
"No." I ran my fingers through his hair as he nodded.
We were silent for a minute before he spoke up again.
"What did she say?" He sounded so unsure and hesitant.
I pulled back again so I could watch his eyes.
Was he worried about what Alice thought or was he worried her opinion would sway my decision to uphold my end of the arrangement?
"She had some pretty strong feelings about it. She made me think about some things…mostly in regards to my reasons for agreeing. But nothing has changed. I'm not going anywhere."
He blew out a gust of air before giving me a small smile. "Sorry. I keep thinking one of these mornings I'm going to wake up and find you gone."
I sighed, looking for the right words. "You know, this is only going to work between us if we trust each other. You have to learn to trust me."
"I'm trying."
We left it at that for the time being. I felt better having told him about Alice, but it only illustrated that Edward and I were still on unstable ground.
If only the comfort we found in each other physically could translate to emotional comfort.
~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~
The five of us were sitting around a table at Wolfgang's Steakhouse, Emmett entertaining us all with his various celebrity impersonations. Edward was quiet, but each time our knees or hands touched under the table he would send me a smile or a wink.
"So next weekend is the big coming out party," Emmett said, pointing his fork my way.
I looked at Edward sheepishly. "Yeah, I forgot to mention your mother called me today with the details. Apparently there was some cancellation and she jumped on the opportunity to have our wedding party at the Waldorf next Saturday."
He leaned toward me. "Are you okay with that? I can tell her to cancel if you're not."
"It's fine. It'll be great." I could put on a strong smile and act the part.
Although I knew now what Edward meant when he warned me his mother could be overwhelming at times.
"The Waldorf? Ooh la la!" Alice said with a giggle.
I smiled at her and Rose, both of them excited about the idea of a party. Before I knew it, the discussion had turned to what we were all going to be wearing.
Edward got my attention and I leaned in so we could talk privately.
"In the interest of disclosure, I should let you know our wedding announcement will be in the Sunday Times."
I wasn't surprised since he'd told me he was informing them. I squeezed his hand to let him know that was fine.
"I just hope I don't get attacked for stealing New York's most eligible bachelor," I said with a grin.
He shook his head at me, his expression turning serious.
"There probably will be some gossip about our age difference. Don't let it bother you."
I watched his eyes, trying to stop the nervous flutters in my stomach. "I won't."
People were going to think what they wanted to and there wasn't much I could do about it.
After a couple hours of food, drinks, and laughs, the car dropped Edward, Alice, and I off at the townhouse before Emmett escorted Rose home. I wagged my eyebrows at Edward as the two of them left, and he just shook his head with a smile.
I lie awake in bed that night, watching him as he slept. I brushed a piece of hair from his forehead, loving how peaceful he looked. It was still hard for me to believe I was bound to him and him to me, and the longer I pondered over how gentle and kind he was, the more I knew I was falling in love with him.
I wasn't sure how long I was going to be able to keep that truth from coming to light.
AN: What are your thoughts about Edward's past with Kate?
From this point on, updates will likely only be once a week.
Thanks again for all the readers and reviews! It's been really fun hearing your thoughts on Bella, Edward, and their decisions.
If you are on Facebook, come join the NOP group that the lovely Nicffwhisperer made! You can find it at www. / groups/ 461654163848405/ (just take out the spaces).
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