Thanks to SusanQ, Nicffwhisperer, Kikki7, Vampshavelaws, Pam, Julie, KittyVuitton, Stephanie, Jaime, Nolebucgrl, and Sydney Alice for all of their help pre-reading/betaing/supporting me. Special thanks to Barburella for her last minute help! I'm always tinkering until right before posting and any mistakes are mine.

Blue Christmas

"So how long is this drive?"

Edward reached over and took my hand to hold in his. "We're avoiding rush hour, so probably around an hour."

He'd wanted to be alone again today—just the two of us—to check out the house he'd found in Greenwich. So we were in a Mercedes sedan this time. He didn't want me or the baby to be cramped in his Lola.

It was the day after his meeting with Eleazar, and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about it all. Edward had gotten home late the night before, looking tired, but relieved. He'd pulled me into his arms and told me everything that happened.

The problem was...nothing much had happened.

It should have been good news. It should have made us happy when Eleazar basically backed down immediately once Edward presented everything he had. That he didn't put up any fight and agreed to cut all ties to the Cullens.

As relieved as Edward seemed, I couldn't avoid feeling unsettled.

It was all way too easy.

Edward had been geared up for battle, but Eleazar waved the white flag at the first sign of trouble.

I sighed and squeezed his hand, wishing I could let it go and not worry about it anymore.

"What are you thinking about?"

I glanced over at him, his profile perfect as he raced down the highway. "It's just difficult to believe it's all over. It doesn't make sense to me. Why try pushing you and Kate together for so long and then give up so easily?"

"I don't know if I'd label it easy. He knows I have him right where I want him. He's not stupid."

Yes, Edward had worked hard to get every single bit of dirt on Eleazar he could find. And he found a lot. Bribery, blackmail, possibly embezzlement...Mr. Forrester had been quite the naughty boy. But even with all that, plus everything Edward had on Kate, it was still hard for me to believe he backed off so quickly.

"I didn't say he was stupid. But what was the point? Why did he go to all the trouble? Why hire Jake to try and break us up?"

His lips formed a thin line. "I asked him why, and he said why not? He's a dick and was trying to play God. I guess it was like a game to him. To see how much he could control. He said at first he wanted me and Kate together because he thought I'd keep her in line. That I was a smart kid, unlike the losers she always seemed to end up with. Plus he'd have my dad under his thumb even more if we were family."

I cringed at the thought of them together.

"But his little princess didn't fall in line with his plans. At least not until a few years ago when he threatened to cut her off if she didn't get her shit together. That's about the time she decided she did want me, and Eleazar made it his mission to make it happen. The fact I'd made a fortune over the years was a bonus to him."

The money was probably his biggest motivating factor.

Greedy asshole.

"Well, let's say Eleazar is telling the truth, that he won't bother any of us ever again, I doubt Kate will agree. I think she's psychotic."

He snorted. "Yeah, she's completely lost her shit. I don't know what happened or when. She used to be a good person." He broke off and shook his head. "Anyway, I told Eleazar to make sure she stayed away from you, me, everyone or I would leak her shit to the tabs."

"She doesn't seem to follow his orders very well," I grumbled.

I wished this bad feeling I had would go away.

"Hey," he said after a couple silent minutes. "Would you be okay with having Alec with you until you finish this semester? I just want to be careful."

The fact that he was asking me and not telling me was an important step in our relationship. At least it was to me.

I smiled over at him. "Sure. There's only a couple weeks left. I'm kind of used to him being my shadow now."

Our laughter at that lightened the mood in the car, and I pushed my worry back as far as I could. The scenery was very pretty as we headed north, and I grew more excited the closer we got.

"We're getting close," he said, glancing at the GPS device.

It was hard to see any of the mansions we passed along the way, most of them gated, set far back from the road and obscured by trees. But the glimpses I did get didn't disappoint.

Edward had a taste for only the best.

We pulled into a drive, Edward entering a code for the gates to open. It was surprising for him to have that kind of access without a realtor or somebody as an escort, but I brushed it off.

"Oh..."

The house had just come into view, and I could barely form words.

It was beautiful. Huge. Grand. Entirely way too much. But absolutely stunning.

I could see why Edward had chosen it.

We pulled around the drive to the columned front entry. The outside was a light-colored stone which was accented by white and black trim around the shutters. The style itself was very similar to the vacation house in Nantucket, but on a slightly smaller scale.

Slightly.

I imagined it would cost a mint to keep this thing heated in the winter.

"Hang on," he said when we stopped, before I could make a move to open my door.

He got out and ran around to my side to help me out, and I chuckled to myself. He probably would have put me in a protective bubble if he could, but it wasn't like it was raining or snowing out.

It was actually a relatively nice day for late fall, the air crisp and cold, the sun occasionally peeking through the clouds. I took his hand and only grunted a little getting out of my seat.

My belly seemed to get bigger every day.

"How many bedrooms?"

He closed the car door and took my arm, leading us to the front door. "Six."

"Bathrooms?"

"Uh, seven I think."

I thought he would knock or ring the doorbell or something, but he took out a set of keys and unlocked the door. I narrowed my eyes at him, particularly when he immediately disabled the alarm after getting us inside.

Something very suspicious was happening.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, did you already buy this house?"

He pulled me close in a hug, a half-smile on his face. "Hmm. If you don't like it, then no. It's just an investment. If you do like it, then yes."

How did I even respond to that?

He was amazing and infuriating at the same time.

He brushed my hair back and kissed up and down my neck, well aware of how to get his way in most any situation.

"I think Harry will like it," he said, rubbing my belly.

No.

No. No. No.

I scrunched my nose and pulled away to shake my head at him. "Please tell me you don't want to call him Harry. I don't like that name. The other kids will call him Scary Harry Cullen."

He threw his head back and laughed before calming down and sending me a grin. "How about Luke?"

"No."

"Walter?"

"Um, no."

"Ivan?"

"Ivan? Like the Terrible? Nooo."

Did he purchase a book of bad names while I wasn't looking?

He laughed again, pushing me backward until he had me pressed against the wall. I rather liked the kissing attack he laid on me. His lips everywhere, his hands sliding up and down my body. When he started moaning, I knew we needed to stop before we began christening the rooms.

"You know, if you don't let me out of the entryway to see the house, we may never figure out if you actually bought it already or not."

He nipped that spot below my ear one last time before groaning. "Yes. Let's look around." He pulled away, licking his bottom lip. "But it would probably look even better if we were naked."

I just shook my head.

Horny bastard.

We inspected every room, each one better than the one before. He didn't even try to hide his smugness, knowing how much I loved it.

It was perfect, just as he'd guessed.

Damn man always got his way.

~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~

The next couple weeks went by in a blur. Not only did I finish up classes for the semester, but Edward had me picking and choosing everything from curtains to couches for our new house.

Esme was a lifesaver in that regard. She would come over several evenings during the week, helping me wade through magazines, websites, catalogs, and samples. Her suggestions were always spot on to me, and I would have just handed the reins over to her completely, but she insisted it was better that I made my own choices.

Edward wasn't around a whole lot, spending extra time at the office. He'd had discussions with Jasper and Emmett about his decision to scale back his involvement in the company, and they were all paving the way for that to happen.

Aside from all that, I spent any extra time I had with Rose and Alice, shopping for Christmas presents and maternity clothes. I was in search of one item in particular.

"This one is gorgeous," Alice said, holding a white floor-length gown in her hand.

Edward and I were expected to attend a Christmas ball with his parents, and I needed to find a dress that didn't make me look like a blimp.

I shook my head at her selection. "It looks more like a wedding dress. Plus, white will only make me look bigger than I already do."

Both of them rolled their eyes.

"You aren't fat, you're pregnant," Rose sniped. "You're still skinny everyplace but your stomach."

Whatever.

"Let's stick with black though."

Rose sighed, but browsed through the black gowns. "How did you two do with your grades?"

"All A's," Alice chimed in immediately.

I stuck my tongue out at her. "All A's and one B+."

Rose turned to me. "Are you still planning to take next semester off?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I rubbed my belly. "He's due right in the middle. Besides, I'm probably going to transfer my credits up to UConn Stamford."

"I wish you weren't moving away. How am I going to deal with not having you around?" Alice asked.

"I'll only be an hour away." I laughed at her pouting face. "I'm sure we'll be in the city often enough anyway. I can't wait for you two to see the house."

"Well, I'll definitely be up there to check it out. And to make sure you finish your degree." Alice gave me a bitch brow.

"I'll finish. Edward wants to play Mr. Mom, so I'll have plenty of time for school."

"Yeah, Emmett's all serious business now with Edward putting more responsibility on his shoulders. I barely see him these days."

I sent Rose an apologetic smile, but she waved it off.

"No, it's fine. He's happy, and I have to admit I enjoy him taking things seriously. Don't get me wrong, I love his goofy side. But he's sexy as hell when he gets all aggressive and determined."

I picked out another dress and peeked over at her. "So do I hear wedding bells in your future?"

She blushed. Rose actually blushed. I never thought I would see that happen.

"I don't know. Maybe one day. Possibly...prob...probably."

Alice and I leaned against each other, laughing at Rose's stammering. She glared back at us.

"What about you?" she asked, pointing at Alice. "What's up with you and Jasper?"

She shrugged and avoided meeting our eyes. "I don't know. We're just having fun."

The uncertainty in her voice made me stop. I'd thought she was happy with him, but she didn't sound too sure anymore.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Hey, is everything okay between you two?"

"I don't know." She sighed and looked up. "It was great at the beginning, but he seems to get frustrated when I tell him school is my first priority." She met my eyes. "Don't get mad at this, I don't mean any offense. But I think he wants something like you and Edward. Something permanent. I'm just not ready for that right now. I like him and don't want to see anybody else, but I don't want marriage and kids for a while."

Her words stung a little, but I knew my choices weren't for everyone. "It's understandable you'd feel that way. Is he really giving you a hard time about it?"

"I don't know. He's been a little distant lately."

I spied a dress that had a lot of potential and grabbed it. "Well, the best advice I can give is to talk to him about it."

"Yep, keeping things bottled up will only lead to disaster," Rose said.

Alice shook it off and gave us a grin. "It'll be fine. No worries. I'm spending Christmas here with him instead of flying home. My parents aren't very excited, but it's what I want."

Her words about her parents made me realize how long it had been since I'd even thought about our hometown. It seemed like it had been forever since we were living there, although it really hadn't been very long at all.

A fleeting thought of Phil swirled in my head, and I hoped wherever he was and whatever he was doing made him happy. He'd given me what he could spare, except any emotional attachment. I didn't begrudge the way he had kept his distance, but I never wanted to live that way again.

Forks was a universe apart from my life now. When I left I never imagined the twists and turns I would experience, but I regretted nothing.

And I'd never been happier.

~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~

A couple days later, Edward and I were dressed in our finest and attending a holiday benefit raising money for literacy with his parents at the New York public library. I didn't end up buying a black dress, but I compromised with my girls and got a silver one. It was festive, fluttery, and went very well with the sparkly diamond bracelet Edward slipped on my wrist before we left.

He called it an early Christmas present.

Edward and his parents were all smiles on the drive there, but the underlying tension was palpable. It would be the first public test of Eleazar's promise to keep his distance from all of us. There had not been a peep out of him, or his evil daughter, since Edward and Carlisle confronted him, but they had also not been in the same room either.

Edward kept me tucked in his side as we mingled through the crowd, and I put on my polite face as he chattered away with the other guests and introduced me to a bunch of people I'd never remember. About halfway through, he leaned down to murmur in my ear.

"Do you need to sit down?"

I nodded. "Yes, my feet are getting sore in these shoes."

Damn heels.

He chuckled and put a barely-there kiss on my neck. "Come on, beautiful, let's go find our table and get you two fed."

Before we took another step, our path was suddenly blocked, and Edward's body tensed up like a coiled spring as his grip around me tightened.

It was Jacob.

Ugh.

My wish of never seeing him again had been a pipe dream.

He stood there, arrogant as usual, a menacing smile on his face. When his eyes roamed up and down my body, Edward snapped.

"What do you want, Black?"

Jake's gaze left me, and he sneered at Edward. "Relax, Cullen. I helped you out, remember? We're all buddy-buddy again."

He turned his leering eyes my way again, and Edward stepped in front of me, almost face-to-face with Jake.

"Don't fucking look at her." His voice was low and icy.

Jake let out a mocking laugh. "I was just checking on my kid."

He was such a vile, disgusting excuse for a human being. I wanted to claw his eyes out, but we were already starting to cause a stir as eyes fell in our direction.

Edward's body was vibrating from the effort to restrain himself, and I stepped between them, trying to calm him down before he lost control and a giant scene erupted.

I faced him and rubbed his clenched fists. "Ignore him. Let's go sit down. He's only trying to get under your skin."

Edward looked down at me, his rage calming with each deep breath.

I tugged on his hands, forcing myself to not pay attention to Jake's laughter, until Edward finally nodded and pulled me into his arms again.

We started walking away, but I turned back toward Jake. "You're a fucking asshole."

If anyone deserved a kick from karma's ass, it was him.

"I'm sorry, baby. I didn't know he'd be here," Edward said after we sat down. His jaw was still clenched, but at least he no longer had murder in his eyes.

I kept one of his hands in mine, so proud of him for not losing it. Jake had pushed every one of his buttons, but Edward had been the bigger man.

Maybe his therapy sessions were working even better than I'd hoped.

"I thought he was going to get fired?"

He frowned. "Yeah. I guess they're waiting until after the holidays."

A server came by with a tray of hors d'oeuvres, and Edward loaded up my plate and ordered drinks for us both. His parents soon joined us, along with a few others, and Jake was mostly forgotten as everyone ate, drank, and chatted.

The food was excellent, but for two thousand a plate, it should have been.

"How are those feet feeling?" he asked once dinner was over.

I raised my eyebrow. "Why?"

He gave me a lopsided grin and stood up, holding out his hand. "Will you dance with me?"

As if I could tell him no. Not when he was charming, sweet, and decked out in formal wear.

"Okay."

He helped me up and held me close, the orchestra bouncing between classical music and holiday songs. I relaxed against him, content with the warmth of his body next to mine and his humming in my ear.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed out there, but each time his hands moved up and down my back and his lips brushed over my skin, the more I wanted him.

In bed.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are tonight?"

My heart raced from his sweet words.

"Only about a hundred times."

His warm breath fanned over my skin when he chuckled. We were probably holding each other entirely too close to be considered appropriate for the occasion, but I didn't care. I couldn't wait to get him home and out of his tuxedo.

He nibbled on my earlobe, just enough to drive me crazy. "Are you ready to get out of here?"

"Beyond ready." I was ready to pull him into the bathroom and have my way with him.

He must have heard the arousal in my voice, because he pulled back enough to look in my eyes.

"Fuck. Let's go home."

I laughed and held onto his hand as he led us back to our table. His parents also seemed eager to end their evening, saying their goodbyes and walking with us toward the front.

I fidgeted a little when we were stopped a few times during our exit, Edward obliging the politicians, athletes, and businessmen who wanted to shake his hand. All evening long, I'd gotten side glances and curious stares, almost everyone simply interested to see Edward Cullen's pregnant, young wife out and about with him.

But I couldn't shake the feeling I was under surveillance.

It wasn't from Jake. After his surprise attack, I never saw him again all night. And both Eleazar and Kate were in attendance, yet it seemed they were doing their part to ignore us.

Edward helped me into my coat, and we walked out into the freezing night, his parents just ahead of us. Flakes of snow were falling, and I was happy to find they had put salt down on the steps leading to our car.

"Carlisle! Edward!"

We all let out a collective sigh of frustration at another interruption, but Edward kissed my cheek and squeezed my hand.

"It's the mayor. Give me just a second."

I nodded. "It's okay. Go ahead."

"I'll take her down. We'll wait for you in the car. It's cold out here," Esme said.

Edward hesitated, but agreed and hurried over to be polite.

Esme and I started down the steps, but the click-clack-click sounds of fast approaching heels caught our attention. I let go of her hand as we both turned around toward the noise.

It should have surprised me to find Kate charging our way, but it didn't.

What did surprise me was that she wasn't stopping. I felt around for the handrail, bracing myself, my other hand moving to cover my bulging belly.

Her face was a mixture of rage and insanity.

It was like I was frozen. Like time stood still for a moment. I was trapped there on that stair, unable to move forward or back.

Esme tried to ward Kate off, but it didn't matter. Nothing was stopping her.

"You bitch! You ruined everything!"

She shoved me hard, causing me to topple backward, despite the grip I tried to hold on the rail. Each roll, each blow and hit registered as painful jabs to my body on my way down, before I finally landed on the concrete sidewalk below.

Esme's screams and Edward shouting my name were the last things I heard before everything went black.

~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~

There was heaviness. Like something was pressing down on me.

It was so dark.

I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe.

It was like being stuck in mud over my head.

Sounds. Loud sounds. Sirens. Machines.

Then all black again.

~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A machine making noises. Quieter now. I heard voices.

Was that a flash of light?

I couldn't open my eyes. Couldn't move. Couldn't speak.

It scared me, but I tried to listen. To figure out what was going on.

Where was I? What happened?

I tried not to panic.

Think. Focus.

It was hard.

Everything hurt. My brain was cloudy.

Someone was talking. I didn't recognize the voice.

Brain swelling. Induced coma. Fetus in distress.

Fetus? Were they talking about my baby?

Our baby?

Where was Edward?

Please don't let anything happen to our baby.

~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~

Time passed. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow.

There were moments when I was aware of my surroundings. Of what was happening. Moments when I could hear and understand the people near me.

Then there were other times when I felt like I was dreaming.

My dreams were wild fantasies, full of colors and shapes: people, places, and things I knew even then weren't real. Almost like I had fallen down my own rabbit hole.

The dreams were nice. There was no pain, no wondering about why I was wherever I was.

But my favorite times were when I heard my Edward.

Just his voice alone kept me calm and happy, although I wanted nothing more than to be able to answer him.

See him.

Hug and kiss him.

He would tell me how much he loved me. Needed me. He would talk about how much Max missed me. And Hannah. About Rose and Alice wanting to take me out. How Alec missed his little sister.

It was best when he would talk about our family. Our friends.

But as time went by, sadness began clinging to his words.

Grief. Desperation.

The enormity of his anguish was seeping into me.

I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't figure out how to fix it. My heart ached when he would plead and beg. I tried to do what he asked, but my body wouldn't obey my mind.

"Bella, please. Please open your eyes. Wake up, baby. Look at me."

I tried. It wouldn't work.

"Squeeze my hand. Blink. Do anything. Baby, please. Come back."

I felt his hand gripping mine, his lips kissing my cheeks. My forehead.

As the devastation in his voice grew, so did my determination to respond in some way.

~~~*~~~NOP~~~*~~~

It was quiet again, but I knew he was there.

Maybe he never left.

The pains and aches in my body were more pronounced, but the cobwebs in my head seemed to have somewhat dissipated. It was clear to me I had been injured, I just didn't know to what extent.

My biggest fear, aside from Edward's obvious worry, was for my baby. I willed my arm to move, so I could feel my stomach. Make sure our child was still there.

I wanted to cry out in frustration when it didn't work. It scared me that I couldn't feel any kicks or movement at all.

When was the last time I felt him move?

The possibility I'd lost the baby hurt more than any bruises or broken bones I may have had.

A heart-wrenching sob interrupted my thoughts.

It was Edward and the sound of rock bottom.

I'd never heard him so upset, and it tore me apart. Every heaving gasp and tortured cry was like a rip to my insides.

"I'm sorry. So sorry for everything."

It was like he was on repeat, telling me over and over he was sorry and he loved me. He placed my hand between his, his warm tears hitting my skin.

I would have given anything, done anything to take away the sound of his pain.

It was something I never wanted to hear again.

I summoned every ounce of focus I had, trying to squeeze his hand.

Everything went quiet again.

"Bella? Did your fingers just move? Can you hear me?" He massaged my hand, his raspy voice tinged with hope. "Move them again, baby. Please let me know you can hear me. Come on. You can do this."

And I did.

AN: Hugging you all right now!

Do you think Kate will look good in orange?

Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing, and letting me know your thoughts. I appreciate you all very much!

Find me on facebook at Twilover Seven-six – I try to put up pictures and a teaser for coming chapters in the NOP group. I will definitely post a teaser for the next chapter.

Find me on twitter at twilover76

Fic Recs:

Another Earth by nightcaller…brand new fic!

On a Limb by BelieveItOrNot…short, sweet, and complete!

Head over Feet by iambeagle…love my writing pal Meg xoxoxo