A/N: Hell... THIS is the chapter of my life... it contains my whole heart and everything I could find somewhere inside of me :)! So... take a seat, take a deep breath... and be aware that this is gonna get a little... extreme. The following chapter will contain a lot of angst, descriptions of violence and even hints of non-con. No real graphic details though - so I don't think I have to upgrade the rating to "M" because of this. But let's say... it's "T+", ok?! Don't like, don't read, guys ;).

This wouldn't have been possible without xxTigerAvatarxx who helped me a lot with some paragraphs - if you know her fics, you'll probably know what I'm talking about... and which parts have been reworked by her :P...! THANKS and HUGS for contributing an essential part to this chapter! :o)

And again, special thanks to Ersatz Einstein. Her list of corrections comprised EIGHT PAGES in Word. So much for my language skills, right... ;)

But anyway... HERE IT COMES... gaaaaahhh I'm excited! :D

-8-

JOINING FORCES

Words failed him.

Not because he didn't know how to respond... but because... there was far too much he wanted to say.

His mind was reeling, numbed by the shocking revelation that he and Sureen shared the same overwhelming guilt. That day in his past when he had let everyone down... allowing them to die, while he alone survived. Only a few days before him, Sureen had done exactly the same thing. And so... someone else was here, sharing his pain. And yet he couldn't find the words to tell her so. The minutes passed in silence, unbearably slow, and he couldn't be bothered to count them.

"I... I know how you feel." he finally managed to grind out. "About letting our people down and abandoning them to their fate... and about surviving while everyone else was suffering and dying. I know what that feels like... because... I did it, too. I acted just the same as you... only a few days after that night. I took my chance to escape the moment it arrived. I fought my way out... and then I just ran... I ran and ran until my legs refused to carry me any further. And I didn't... I didn't even think of taking anyone with me." He took a deep breath.

"The only reason I survived was because I was selfish enough to think only about saving my own life." As Jet turned back to Sureen, there was such deep sadness in his eyes that the brown irises appeared to have darkened several shades. "It hurts so much... knowing that you didn't do anything to help them. Because you KNOW you could have... SHOULD have done something. But you didn't."

Sureen couldn't believe her ears. The minutes they had just spent in silence had almost killed her, but still she had tried to brace herself for whatever Jet's reaction would be. So, naturally, she had assumed that she would be prepared for anything... but not for THAT. She had expected anything but... sympathy.
He didn't hate her... he wasn't disappointed or mad. Not at all. Instead, he almost seemed to be in the same position as herself.

The moment her mind processed the information, her inner tension dissolved... and so did her composure. It was like she hadn't realized before how much she had, in fact, feared his reply... how afraid she had been to face the moment their friendship would irrecoverably be destroyed by her admission. And now... now that the moment had passed and none of her fears had been realized, her pent-up inner tension melted away and relief washed over her.

It wasn't like her to sob uncontrollably in public, let alone cry in front of someone... but this time she just couldn't supress it. She hugged her knees even closer, pressing her face into them as tightly as she possibly could. But suddenly, she felt two arms surround her, as though they were trying to protect her from any unwanted spectators... to shield her from the world. Then, Jet's hand carefully lifted her chin. Sureen hurried to wipe away the tears that were staining her cheeks before she looked up into his gentle, but worried, eyes. "Are you all right...?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, never mind... it's just... oh my God, I was so afraid you would hate me for what I've done. And that my failure would destroy everything that had ever been between us... and that I'd lose you again, the moment I finally got you back...!" the girl sniffled.

"How could I ever hate you... knowing that I'm not any better? Besides... I've learned the hard way how dangerous and consuming hatred can be. I know about the extent to which it can influence your deeds and your... way of thinking, sort of. My life has been steered by hatred ever since... back then. But I came to the conclusion that I needed to leave the past behind. Because if I don't... then I'll never be free from all of the hatred inside of me... and I'll never be free from... well... whatever." All of a sudden, Jet let go of her chin and averted his eyes. And Sureen clearly sensed... something. Something alarming. She couldn't pinpoint it, but she sensed her heart tensing up again as she felt Jet's wave of emotion hitting her.

She swallowed hard before she raised her voice again. "Jet... what... I mean... Okay, I know under any bearable conditions you wouldn't have done it. Escaping all by yourself without thinking about anything or anyone else, I mean. So... there must have been a real serious incident that made you do that." She hesitated for a second, not daring to ask the question that filled her mind. Her voice was hardly more than a whisper when she finally made herself continue. "What... happened... before you could escape from that place? What... what did they do to you?"

"How is it that you still know me as though we had never been apart?" Without lifting his eyes, he chuckled slightly... or pretended to do so to cover up the horror that spread through his mind as the memories began to close in on him, uncontrollably. "It was not only... ONE serious event, though." He hid his face with a shaky hand. "But if you really felt what we've been feeling... why are you asking me this at all?!" His voice was even more shaky than his hand.

"What I felt was like... one big, terrifying vortex-thing... sweeping over my mind with such a vengeance that... I just lost it. I couldn't stand it. Let alone feel any... details. If this flood of emotions had been any more detailed, I swear I would have lost my mind for good back then," Sureen whispered in reply.

"Yeah... I was definitely not the only one... who... got..." A tremor went through his body as an unwelcome memory passed through his mind. Although he clenched his fists, digging them into Sureen's sleeping-bag so firmly that his knuckles showed white, he couldn't keep himself from trembling. "I... I can't. I can't tell you. I'm sorry..."

But his thoughts told on him. They spoke volumes. They showed Sureen utterly vivid pictures she didn't want to witness. Yet, she couldn't close her mind's eye to the memories Jet was unintentionally throwing at her.
Seeing sweaty bodies pressing tightly to his, hearing his muffled cries of pain and disgust, feeling his agony... All too soon, it became too much and Sureen had to remind herself that, while it had been reality for her companion, it was not reality now. As much as she wanted to scream... she couldn't. As much as she wanted to make those soldiers pay for what they had done... she couldn't. Because it wasn't happening now. She was on a ferry ride, brimming with refugees, and no one was even aware of the horrors she was witnessing. So, for her to react to her visions would not have been the most rational thing to do.

But nevertheless, she couldn't stop the tears from running down her face.

"... I just... I can't," Jet repeated. His voice was scarcely audible.

"You don't need to... I'm... I'm seeing it... at least this time... I'm... with you," the girl ground out. Carefully, she moved closer to him, ready to embrace his shaking shoulders or do anything to comfort him and to make the horror go away.

"Then get away from me. Stop it. Get out of my mind right now. Look somewhere else. There are enough people around, go and read THEIR thoughts. I'm not interested in having anyone eavesdropping on my memories," Jet replied with a suddenly cold and emotionless tone. "And DON'T TOUCH ME," he added, slapping away Sureen's approaching hand and giving her no other choice than to obey his words.

"I... I'm sorry for intruding. It's just that... I've never learned how to 'look somewhere else'. My training on how to use my abilities was never completed... due to... obvious reasons. And before, I'd never made it to the point where Master Yunah would have taught me how to NOT feel something... how to... dunno... 'switch off' my abilities in situations when I think them... inappropriate. I never learned how to do that. I tried to figure it out on my own... but obviously I haven't gotten very far. I didn't mean to offend you. But that's what did, I guess... so... I'm sorry. But... I thought we were friends?! Aren't we still? So... why won't you let me in, Jet?" When he had reacted that fiercely, Sureen had shied back, now looking at him with questioning eyes.

"You don't seriously expect me to ever include anyone into my memories of... of how I lost my dignity... and became those shameful, filthy Fire Nation soldiers' plaything, do you? No thanks. Not interested in sharing that. With ANYONE," he hissed. "How am I supposed to ever look someone in the eye again after they know what those monsters did to me back then?! How am I expected to be able to look you in the eye and accept the pity and disgust I see?!"

"No matter what they did to you back then... you're still the same guy! This doesn't change anything... not our friendship, nor the way I think of you as a person, nor the memories we share! Like... oh my God... when we decided to steal the cherries from Kynooni's cherry tree and it was my job to climb up the tree because I was so much smaller and lighter than you... but I was still way too heavy for that poor little branch and it completely snapped off with me sitting on top of it. Remember how I fell out of the tree and you caught me, spraining your wrist in the process? Yeah you DID sprain your wrist, although you didn't want to admit it... but... you know, even back then I was able to see through you, at least sometimes.
"Or that day when we tried to 'borrow' Omu's llama-donkey to find out if he would make friends with Sera... but he kept on refusing to step foot in Sera's stable, no matter how much we tried to push and pull him!? And eventually, he was so fed up that he spat at me and I had his slimy slobber stuff all over my face!? Man, that was SO... eeeeeww! And you just cracked up. While I was desperately trying to clean up my face. Yeah... thanks a lot. Do you still remember?!
"Oh, hell... or that winter, when you broke through the ice on our fish pond, just because you were trying to convince me that it was thick enough to walk on? Obviously, it wasn't... Thank God the pond was only waist-deep! Even so, it took me ages to pull you out! God, I'll never forget that look on your face when you noticed that the ice beneath you was beginning to crack... damn...!"

Lost in thought, Sureen could not refrain from chuckling. But soon she became aware of the situation again and spoke on with a serious but gentle voice. "That's what I see when I think of you. There are thousands of memories that will always remind me how special our friendship was... and how special YOU are to me. And that will never change, no matter what. Don't you DARE think those sick Fire Nation soldiers can change ANYTHING about that... 'cause I won't let it happen."

Looking at Jet's still-clenched fists and white knuckles was almost painful... and so Sureen couldn't help but reaching out her pinky at least, letting it find its way into Jet's cramped fist, eventually getting hold of the boy's own pinky and wrapping around it. Pinky-to-pinky contact didn't seem to be too much of a problem, Sureen noted with relief, a faint smile flashing over her face. At least he didn't get defensive this time.

"I just want you to know that you don't have to do this on your own. I know you had to endure things all on your own back then... but NOW you DON'T have to. I'm here. And as you told me earlier, you had to learn the hard way what hatred can do to you. I had to do the same with learning what happens when you keep trying to carry your burdens all on your own. It gets you nowhere... or to places much worse than nowhere." Luckily, her voice sounded stronger than she felt. She wouldn't let this get her down. She would withstand.

Suddenly, she felt Jet's fist somewhat relax. A second later, he lifted it the slightest bit to place it atop Sureen's hand and to hold fast to it.

Once again, he couldn't be bothered to count the minutes that passed in silence. Only this time, the silence felt much more whole and united than either of the two ever would have considered possible earlier.

-x-x-x-

Zuko frowned whilst watching the sun steadily approaching Lake Laogai's surface. What the hell are they talking about down there and why is it taking them so long?! If Sureen isn't back by sunset, I'll check in on her to find out what's going on...! Grumpily, the prince folded his arms.

-x-x-x-

"But you're wrong on one point. I wasn't all alone back then," Jet finally whispered, not daring to look up. "You know, you start making up... things. To flee from reality. When your body is tied up and stuff... at some point, the only option that's left for you is to escape mentally... by trying to imagine you are somewhere else instead. And so I imagined... that I was with you. 'Causes I knew they hadn't been able to capture you. And so you were still somewhere out there... at liberty. Maybe you were sitting on Sera's back, ready to escape and to find a new place to live or whatever. So I focused on that image, picturing myself there as well. Like... sitting on Sera's back right behind you and flying through the air, high above the montain-tops, to a place far away from the Fire Nation troops.
"And so... the thought of you being alive... being safe... out there, free... that thought saved my life, in a way. It was my shelter and my reason to survive. To endure whatever they did to me. And eventually... that thought gave me the will and the strength to escape from that hell. You were the reason I made it out of there... and the focus I needed to not lose my mind while I was still in there."

Sureen had never seen him look so... timid. Forcing those words out, although it was obvious he wished the ground would swallow him up right after they had escaped his lips. This time, he really WANTED her to know something personal about him. As if he was trying to make up for not wanting her to share those... other memories earlier.
The insight moved her to the core. Nothing had been destroyed. The connection between them still existed and he was trying to prove it.

The girl wished for something, anything to show him how much she appreciated his words... but there was nothing she could do or say. Everything that came to mind was either insufficient or completely over the top. Her eyes would have revealed her emotions, had he looked up to her... but still, Jet didn't have the heart to lift his gaze. Instead he spoke on, his voice hardly more than a whisper...

"And you know... somewhere in the back of my mind, I always hoped to see you again one day. Hoped to get the chance to tell you how much I missed you all these years... and..."

Suddenly, he leaned over to her. When she turned her head towards him, taken by surprise, Jet let go of her hand and carefully cupped his fingers around her cheek. Finally, their eyes met and all the unspoken words radiating from Sureen's reached their destination. A second later, she felt Jet's lips touching hers ever so gently. For a second, she thought her heart would stop. She held her breath, swamped by a million thoughts. What the hell are we doing?! We're friends, just FRIENDS, aren't we... We've ALWAYS been friends...!

But... this just didn't feel wrong. Not at all. Yet, she didn't dare to move. She wanted to embrace him, to hold him close, to kiss him back... but... remembering his intense reaction in answer to her attempt to touch him only a few minutes ago, doing WHATEVER right now probably wasn't really an option. By no means did she intend to offend him once again. So she kept still. Doing nothing but opening her lips the slightest bit to respond to his kiss. When Sureen closed her eyes, another stream of tears ran down her face.

-x-x-x-

Eventually, a red sun sank into Lake Laogai. As soon as the source of Zuko's power disappeared, the prince felt chilly. He could wait no longer for Sureen to get back. He would go and check on her right now. Determinedly, he turned away from the railing and headed for the stairs quickly. They'd had enough time to talk by now.

-x-x-x-

After just a few seconds - although it seemed like an eternity to her - Jet let go of Sureen's lips. Slowly she opened her eyes again... meeting the gaze of... oh hell, no... PRINCE ZUKO, who just had come storming down the stairs. Upon realizing what was going on, he had frozen in place though. The moment their eyes met, he blushed and turned away.

"Whoa... jeez. Great. Seems like we've got company," the girl mumbled, trying to stay calm.

In a daze, Jet blinked a few times, slowly realizing where he was and what was going on around him. "Oh... you mean... your grumpy friend?"

"Yup... exactly." A faint smirk flashed over Sureen's face. What an accurate description.

"Alright. Let me handle this." All the sudden, Jet's timidness was gone. Faced with the new situation, he immediately changed into the self-confident, charismatic leader-guy he used to be back then, when they were kids. Startled and impressed at the same time, Sureen sat back, watching her companion with wide eyes.

"You know, before we met today, I was up to something. I've been thinking about a plan. And I could use his support," Jet explained, throwing a glance at the boy. "I've been thinking about asking him to join me anyway. I'd like a word with him," he added.

"Alright... I have no idea what 'plan' you're talking about, but... just don't bite his head off, alright? I know he can be really grumpy and unapproachable... but he's not a bad person. Not at all," Sureen replied assertively.

"Actually, when we first met, he nearly bit MY head off." Jet countered. Upon seeing the surprised look on Sureen's face he chuckled slightly. "Yeah... you know, he was none-too-happy when I tried to go after you. To say the least. So... seems like the guy really likes you. That's a brownie point for him." Jet's face was brightened up by a smirk which grew even bigger when he saw Sureen blushing at his words.

Quickly, she added, "Yeah... um... Besides that... I know that, in general, your 'plans' aren't exactly... innocuous. So... take care, alright?"

Determinedly, Jet stood up. Before turning towards Zuko, he gave Sureen a last faint smile.
Meanwhile, the prince was still frozen in place at the foot of the stairway. Approaching the boy, Jet lightly grabbed his shoulder to make him turn around. He pointed up the stairs with his chin, wordlessly telling Sureen's companion to follow him back on deck. Hesitatingly, Zuko did as he was told... but threw a questioning glance over his shoulder, meeting Sureen's eyes. She smiled back reassuringly, letting him know that his presence wasn't necessary any longer. Then both boys disappeared up the stairs.

Wow. Oh hell... that was intense. In every possible way. Sureen's mind was racing, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Jet... She couldn't find the words to describe the horror she had felt upon seeing... those memories. God what had they done to him!? Quickly, she tried to shake off the disturbing pictures. Instead, she focused on a more pleasant sensation. It felt like a warm afterglow lingering on her lips. Oh my God, he kissed me, he just kissed me, he REALLY KISSED ME! She couldn't deny the butterflies flying in her stomach. A sheepish smile spread across her face and she hugged her knees again.

-x-x-x-

Had this jerk seriously just KISSED Sureen? How could this ... guy just appear from nowhere, almost push Sureen to the point of collapse, only to KISS HER a few hours after that?! Zuko just didn't get it. Back on the ferry's deck, the prince wanted to confront Jet with all these inconsistencies immediately. But the man didn't give him the opportunity to do so.

"Sorry for the confusion caused and for just bursting in earlier. I'd like to apologize for being such an idiot. And I'd like to introduce you to my team. As I said before, my name's Jet. These are my Freedom Fighters, Smellerbee and Long Shot." Until now, Zuko hadn't been aware that Jet was travelling with the two figures that now quickly bent their heads.

"Hello," the prince replied shortly, still confused about the whole situation.

"Before we met today, I was working on a plan. And when I heard that you were complaining about the adverse conditions on this ferry and the rotten food we're forced to eat, I got an idea. I'd like to ask you something. Here's the deal: I hear the captain's eating like a king, while us refugees have to feed off his scraps. Doesn't seem fair, does it? You wanna help us liberate some food?" Jet asked, looking him right in the eye.

Zuko's eyes went wide with surprise. Then he nodded. "I'm in."

She captures her reflection, then she throws the mirror to the floor
Her image is distorted, screaming "Is it worth it anymore?"

Are you scared of the things that they might put you through?
Does it make you wanna hide the inner you?

You're not the only one, so let them criticize
You're untouchable when you realize...

...

His body starts to flicker, like nobody wants to know his name
Just another soul with feelings, but nobody's there to feel the pain

They can rip you, bring you down, down to their size
But they will never get to the heart you hold inside

You're not the only one, so let them criticize
You're untouchable when you realize...

Change, change your life, take it all
We're gonna stick together, know we'll get through it all
Change, change your life, take it all
You're gonna use it to become what you've always known

...

[LITTLE MIX - CHANGE YOUR LIFE]

LINK TO THIS SONG:
w w w. tape. t v / musikvideos/ Little-Mix/ Change-Your-Life
[copy+paste - remove blanks - enter :)!]

-x-x-x-

A/N: WHOA *heart's still racing*...! K... anyway *ahem*. So... basically, this one is about distance. And about situations in which one is supposed to keep it. And the lines one crosses when they don't keep it. ... R&R please! :o)