Kili studied the geography of the Mountain before them. "I think I remember these foothills from my Uncle's map. We are still too far east of the Gates of Erebor. I just don't know if we should circle around or cut through the hills."
Rhavaniel shrugged, "We do not know what danger to expect, either way."
"Aye." Kili sighed, "and no telling which way will be faster. Do you know how to use those hooks and ropes you took from the Watchtower, if we take the mountainous path?"
Rhavaniel nodded eagerly, "Yes. My family often visited the cliff-dwelling Avarin settlements to work in their forges, and always took me. They wanted me to learn some of my culture. Either that, or they were hoping those Avarin Elves would steal me back."
Kili laughed, "I am surprised they did not leave you there and run away in the night."
"I am sure they were tempted." Rhavaniel smiled at his teasing, "The point being, I know how to use climbing ropes."
"Then we should take our chances on the foothills."
"Agreed."
They began their hike.
"Are Avarin all that different from Silvan Elves?" Kili wanted to know. He wanted to know every little thing about her, really.
"They are more secretive," Rhavaniel explained, "like Dwarves are to outsiders. I remember a few of them would greet me so warmly, kiss me, and give me small presents ... I thought they must be kin to my first parents, but they never said so. I am not fond of secrets as a result, though I seem to have some skill at making and keeping them. It must be in my blood."
Kili understood, "Dwarves keep secrets, too, even among our own kind. I like it less and less as I get older."
"I suppose they have their reasons, trying to protect us." she mused, "But if you do not know what that danger is, you cannot reduce the toll that secret takes in the currency of trust."
"There should always be a chance to earn trust back, though." Kili looked at her with gratitude. She never lost her trust in him, despite all the reasons she should have.
"I think you are right." she smiled. "But I won't take that risk. I will not waste one copper of your trust in me. I promise to never lie to you."
"That is a big promise coming from you." he teased.
"No, it is a very easy promise. I feel as though I can tell you anything. Honesty is...well...I did not know how good it could be until I tried it in earnest. Perhaps I thought of the truth as a burden, sometimes, so I left it behind."
"I suppose many truths are heavy burdens, the ones kept as secrets. There is no leaving them behind, though." Kili pondered. "The only way to lighten them is by sharing. I am glad you can share your burdens with me, and I hope that when I rejoin my people, they see how strong I have grown on this journey, and share their burdens with me, too."
"We're not children anymore." she blushed, "I think they will see that, certainly in you."
Kili blushed as well. He grabbed Rhavaniel's free hand in his, brought it to his lips, and kissed it.
"Dwarves are better with actions than with words." he explained.
"You are skilled in both." she assured him.
"Tell me what else you are skilled in." Kili asked her. He liked to hear her talk.
"It is hard to put into words...I think it is the Avari in me. All Elves love beauty, but Avari are the most likely to shun gold and gems and find beauty in nature. They would rather discover and shape and live in a beautiful cliff than in any castle."
"Wait, so, you might like to live in a mountain?" Kili's interest had been piqued.
Rhavaniel smiled at him, "If we could build a nest on the side of the mountain, so that we could greet the Sun every day, then this little bird would be happy."
"That sounds like a fine compromise."
"Then compromise shall be one of my skills. I will be sure to practice it, at least with you. And now if I may finish my point - Avari live in cliffs because they value seeking as much as making. They must first find a place or an object perfectly crafted by Iluvatar Himself and then lightly put their hand to it. Their art - their very lives - are a compromise, a careful blending of the wild with the civilized. They believe it makes them closer to Iluvatar."
"Dwarves endlessly drill and pave and carve our homes in the mountains. Mahal is our Maker, so to build makes us closer to Him. I think He would not mind letting some things remain wild, though." Kili winked at her.
"My name means 'wild'. It is Avari, given by my first parent. My second parents decided I should keep it. I am the only Rhavaniel in a Silvan village full of Hannasiels, Alyas, and Melimas ."
"You may be a wild thing to your people, but I find you thoughtful first, so I would have called you 'Ranakul'. That is not a real Dwarf girl name, but that is what I think of when I see you."
"Ranakul... I like that. But I also like when you call me Rhavi." she said sweetly.
They held hands and continued their trek.
She looked behind them at the grasslands, and then ahead to Lonely Mountain.
"Are you imagining what this place will be like when it is your new home?" she asked Kili.
"I was letting myself think about that. I was thinking about sledding and ice fishing with Fili when the snow falls. And then I remind myself that things will be different. Our future will be different, and Fili has responsibilities in that future. He can't be sledding and fishing all winter - he is going to be busy. He will have to think about opening up that good vein of coal in the Mountain, big enough to last centuries, to keep the forges and furnaces and water pumps running. And come spring, he won't be able to ride across the grassland with me, hunting with falcons. He'll be helping Uncle Thorin figure out who is going to plant enough food for all the Dwarrows that will be returning. Having wealth to buy food won't matter if these lands aren't cultivated. We can't be sure Men will move back in time to work the land, so Mister Dwalin may have to take up farming for a bit." Kili chuckled, "That won't go over well."
"It is frightening, not knowing if you will be in anyone's future." Rhavaniel said.
"I will still be in Fili's future, and he in mine. It will just be a bit different, is all." Kili replied. It took him a second thought to realize Rhavaniel was possibly talking about herself with her forlorn comment.
"You have such a bright future with your family, and all the things they are still teaching you about being an Elf and a blacksmith. You are looking forward to that still, aren't you?" Kili asked, doubting his words were adequate.
"I am, but I feel I am not permanent in anyone's life - not for family, not for teachers. It is as if I am...passing through. When they think of their future, I know I am not there. I am invisible." she said simply.
"I see you." Kili told her.
"I know you do. I did not even know what that felt like until I met you. But even you cannot see me in your future."
"That is not true. I think of how things will be when we are both a bit older. There!" Kili pointed to a outcropping on Lonely Mountain, facing East, which supported a few trees. "I know that is our nest, when I see my future."
"Ooooh, your pet falcon will like that, too." she smiled at him. "Do you have one already?"
"No." Kili replied, "Fili and I shared a kestrel when we were little, and then had a silver falcon who lived to a ripe old age. We hadn't been ready to replace him before we left on the quest."
"I can find a falcon for you, and one for Fili."
"Really? Where?"
"The Avari that live in the Southwest portion of Mirkwood Mountains love birds. They save every nestling pushed out by its siblings that they can. They would give some to a good home. One need only ask nicely, and I ask very nicely."
"I am sure they will not say 'no' to you. Maybe you will be the one who brokers trade between Erebor and the Elves, once we reclaim our Kingdom. You can trade hawks for heliodor."
"I think brokering an agreement between our families, that we may see each other again, will be enough of a challenge." Rhavaniel sighed. "Too much time has already passed for me to pretend I never left King Thranduil's realm. When I eventually return home, I shall have to lie and say that I ran away to the Avari to look for my first family. "
"I don't want you to do that." Kili voiced his concern.
"You don't like that I lie, I know. I want to stop, because I want you to trust and respect me, but I am afraid. They may never let me out of their sight again if I tell the truth."
'After all our talk of burdens, she still has no safe place to put hers down.' Kili thought. "I only meant that...you should have a family that loves you so much, there is no need of lies, ever. It saddens me that you think you have to lie, and that they cannot tell when you are lying."
"I had not thought of it like that." Rhavaniel said quietly.
"I should not have said anything. I am no better - I was not going to tell my family about you until we had Erebor back. That is the same as lying. I am sorry."
"Do not apologize. You tell me things I need to hear, need to think about. I may be young but I am no longer a child. I need to make decisions to shape my own future. When I go back to the Woodland Realm, I will ask my favorite aunt and uncle to let me stay with them permanently, until I am done with school."
"And if they refuse?" Kili asked.
"I have thought of that. I thought of three more relatives I should like to live with. Ones who I think I could be honest with, and they with me. If all say 'no', then I am going to live in one of the Avari villages until you and I can find our time and place to be together once again."
"I think that is a good plan. But how will I find you?"
"I will find you. Erebor is not going anywhere."
"Which Avari village might you go to?" Kili was anxious to know.
"Rumenya Halya. It sits in the eastern-most mountain in the Woodland range. It lies midway between the Elf Path and the Old Forest Road. Theirs is the loveliest village, I think, and it is the one I most likely came from. Oh, and those Avari can fly, or at least they try." she added with enthusiasm. "They make beautiful gliders - it is a kite big enough to hold the weight of an Elf. I have used them a few times, but only a little glider on a short hill. You must be older and well-trained before you can take a big glider off the cliffs. To fly is an amazing experience."
"I know, I have flown on a giant eagle with Fili."
Rhavaniel stopped, "Seriously? You have flown on a bird...touched the sky?"
"Yes." Kili replied, "The wizard Gandalf is friends with them. He summoned them to help us escape when we were attacked by Azog himself. I truly flew."
Rhavaniel paused, "I am more than a bit jealous. Is there no story I can tell but that you have a better one? I am finding you to be very competitive."
"Being a younger brother will do that to you." Kili conceded.
"So competition may be as frequent as compromise in our relationship?"
"Possibly more." Kili told her.
Rhavaniel gave a sly look, "In that case, I shall race you to that hilltop." and she took off like a gazelle.
"I have the heavier pack!" Kili yelled after her.