Warnings: Slight violence. Suicidal implications. Lemon scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Persona 3 Portable or any of the characters, but the OC characters belongs to me

Chapter Six: Hidden Feelings

July 13, 2009
Gekkoukan High School

"We're finally done!" Yuuki sighed in relief, stretching as she walked out of the Student Council room. It had been another long day at the Student Council, with her mainly handling paperwork, that it is near sunset by the time that she could leave. "Huh?" Yuuki blinked as she spotted a familiar figure wearing a black beanie leaning against the wall outside the Student Council room. "Shinjiro-sempai? You're still here?"

Shinjiro grunted. "I…fell asleep on the roof, and didn't wake up until a few minutes earlier." He sounded embarrassed as he said this. "Want to go home together?"

Yuuki smiled and nodded. "Sure. I want to talk to you more."

Shinjiro blushed lightly, but nodded, as the two left the school grounds together. The few students that were still around, probably for some club activities, stared as the both of them left the school. Shinjiro sighed to himself as he saw this. There will probably be some rumours going around the school by the end of the week, if he knew anything about how the rumour mill in the school actually works.

"So I heard some of the girls in my class talking crap about you," said Shinjiro, breaking the silence, and turning towards Yuuki who looked at him curiously. "They said something about you seeing Aki when you're already dating Junpei." He barely managed to keep the jealousy out of his voice, despite knowing that both boys are more like brothers to Yuuki.

Yuuki nearly groaned. "Oh god, not this again…" she muttered, barely managing to keep the irritation out of her voice. Shinjiro raised an eyebrow. "It's not like you, sempai, to listen to rumours though." Yuuki teased. "Sanada-sempai just asked me out to Hagakure Ramen the other day, and we ran into some of his fangirls. Apparently, they've got the idea that Junpei and I are dating."

Shinjiro blinked. "You mean… You both aren't?"

Yuuki frowned. "Hell no!" she stated. "Junpei is a good guy, and he is sweet too. But I just can't see him as boyfriend material. He's kind of like my brother, a best friend. Just like Yukari and Fuuka. I heard from Junpei that Kenji and some of the guys in our class are badgering him for some 'dating advice' as well." She shuddered. "I hope for their sakes that they don't take his 'advice' seriously."

Shinjiro chuckled. Like everyone else in SEES, he knew that he always had to take Junpei's words with a pinch of salt.

By this time, they've reached the entrance of the dorm, and Yuuki pushed opened the doors of the dorm, announcing their arrivals. "We're back."

The rest of SEES were gathered in the lounge like how they did every night before some of them retires back to their rooms to do some homework. But unlike all the previous times, on that night, the atmosphere seems a little…tense. Especially after what Mitsuru had revealed regarding the Dark Hour, the Shadow experimentation, the incident from ten years ago, and about the Kirijo Group the other day. Yukari, as hot headed as ever, didn't take it too well apparently, and she hadn't said a word to Mitsuru ever since.

Fuuka who had her laptop on her lap as usual glanced up. "Oh, welcome back—" She blinked as she saw both Yuuki and Shinjiro entering the dorm together. "Erm… You both came back together?" When Fuuka saw a faint blush on Yuuki's cheeks, she smiled. "Well, I guess it's really none of my business."

Yuuki dropped herself in the couch next to Yukari who smiled at her best friend weakly before returning her attention back to some book that she had in her hand. Junpei who was on the opposite couch was reading a magazine that looks suspiciously like that of a Playboy magazine. Mitsuru and Akihiko were both sitting at the table, doing some studying, and Shinjiro went towards the table to join them, glancing occasionally at Yuuki who was talking in low tones with Yukari, trying to cheer her up. Yukari seemed appreciative of her efforts, as she is smiling.

"Shinji." Akihiko nodded to Shinjiro as he pulled out a chair next to the boxer and sat down in it. "You came back with Hariyama?" Shinjiro grunted. Silence fell for several moments; with the atmosphere being so tense that one could literally slice through it with a knife. Even Akihiko, being as dense as he was, finally noticed the tense atmosphere and looked up. "What's wrong, everyone?" He asked in confusion, looking from the seniors' side to the juniors. "Are you hungry?"

Yukari bit on her bottom lip. "N-Not really…" she muttered.

An awkward silence fills the room, and Yuuki looked desperately at Fuuka and Junpei. Her silent message was clear: 'do something about this tense atmosphere!'

Fuuka chuckled nervously, trying to break the tense atmosphere. "Umm… Y-You know, it's almost summer break," she said weakly. "Do you have any plans?"

"Not really, but I'm probably going to look for a summer job or something if I don't have anything special planned." Yuuki shrugged. "You know, saving up for college and all? And probably studying."

Akihiko and Shinjiro exchanged looks with each other. They knew what it's like if you're all alone by yourself with no family. You practically have to depend on yourself for nearly every single thing, even supporting yourself through school.

Junpei had a disgusted look on his face at the mention of summer jobs and exams. "Urgh… Summer jobs and studying? This is summer vacation that we're talking about, dude! We're supposed to re~lax!"

Yukari sighed. "Everyday is relax for you, Stupei." She took a dig at him. "Tell me, when is the last time that you've actually studied?"

Junpei grinned. "I wish that I could go to the beach for summer break. Hot sand, cool breeze…babes in bikinis…" He is nearly drooling at the thought of it. "Man, it sure would be nice! Somewhere in the south, where the water is crystal clear!" He then sighed. "But first, we have exams to worry about… Ugh, what a drag…"

Fuuka giggled. "Now. Now. You'll be fine," she reassured Junpei.

"Junpei? Fine?" Yuuki joked. "I'll be amazed if he can even somehow miraculously manage to pass!"

"Hey!"

"Seconded!" Yukari giggled, and the two girls high fived each other. "But Stupei has a good idea for once." She sighed. "The beach, huh? I wonder when is the last time when I've actually went to a beach…"

"Yeah." Fuuka nodded. "I'd love to go somewhere famous for its beautiful beaches, like Okinawa."

The doors to the dorm opened just then, and Ikutsuki walked in. "Well, it's not Okinawa, but how about Yakushima?" he suggested.

Mitsuru glanced around as Ikutsuki entered the dorm. "Chairman, I didn't realise that you were here."

Ikutsuki smiled. "Well, I happened to be in the area, so I thought I'd drop by and tell you my schedule for next week," he said. "Kirijo-kun, your father will be vacationing in Yakushima during the break."

Mitsuru stared on with surprise. "He will…?" she echoed.

Ikutsuki nodded. "You'll all have some time off after the exams, right? Why don't you go and pay him a surprise visit?"

Shinjiro glanced at Ikutsuki suspiciously. 'What is he planning now?'

Junpei grinned. "Seriously? We're gonna go on a trip? YES! Beach babes, here I come!" He cheered.

Yukari had a disgusted look on her face at that, and sighed. "Men."

Fuuka and Yuuki both giggled, and Shinjiro chuckled silently to himself.

"How about it, Kirijo-kun?" Ikutsuki asked.

"But my father is a busy man. I don't want to ruin his vacation," said Mitsuru hesitantly.

Ikutsuki chuckled. "Don't worry about it. No father would be upset with a daughter who came all that way to see him," he said. "You've all done a great job. You deserve to relax for awhile. We already know when the next operation will be, so it should be fine."

Mitsuru still looked uncertain. "I…don't know…"

"YAKUSHIMAAA!" Yuuki cheered.

"Sempai, I'm beggin' ya!" Junpei pleaded, practically getting down on his hands and knees.

Mitsuru bit on her bottom lip before smiling. "…Alright. I guess everyone needs a break now and then. Let's do it."

"Woohoo!"

"Hmm, the beach… I should design a special training regime." Akihiko mused to himself, and Shinjiro sighed.

"Is that all you think about?" he muttered in disbelief.

"I have to go buy a swimsuit…" Fuuka muttered to herself.

"Hey, don't worry! I got an extra pair you can borrow!" Junpei grinned, and Yuuki threw the cushion next to her at Junpei's head that nailed him neatly in the face. "Ow!"

"Pervert!" Yuuki huffed, and Yukari laughed.

"Nice shot!"

Akihiko chuckled. "Nice try, man."

XXXXXX

July 18, 2009
Gekkoukan High School

"I'm done, baaaby! The dark days of testing are finally over! The sun is shining bright!" Junpei cheered.

"So how did you do?" Yukari asked.

"Hey, check it out! I aced PE!"

Yukari sighed. "Well, that pretty much answers the question," she muttered, and Yuuki laughed.

"Psh, a real man doesn't dwell on the past. I'm thinking ahead to Yakushima!"

"Oh yeah, that's coming up soon, isn't it?" Yukari asked. "Are you ready?"

"Totally!" Yuuki beamed. "I need to buy a swimsuit."

Yukari laughed. "Yeah, I need to get one too. Maybe we can go shopping together with Fuuka later."

"Need some help?" The grin on Junpei's face was almost perverted, probably imagining just how the girls would look like in swimsuits. A book nailed Junpei's face almost instantly.

"Idiot!" Yukari hissed, a faint blush on her cheeks, and Yuuki laughed. "Let's go."

As the trio walked out of the school, they heard Ikutsuki's voice.

"Adolescence is such a wonderful thing! So full of vibrancy!"

Yukari turned in surprise. "Chairman…!"

"What are you doing here?" Yuuki asked in bewilderment, even as Akihiko and Shinjiro stepped out of the school building just then, with the two boys looking quite surprised to see the three juniors there with Ikutsuki.

"What is going on here?" Akihiko asked in surprise.

Ikutsuki smiled. "Oh hello. You two are just in time. I just stopped by to pick someone up. I might as well introduce you to him now."

A boy with brown hair, and who still looked to be in elementary school stood by Ikutsuki's side. He had on an orange hoodie with a Gekkoukan jacket over it, and black shorts. The little boy seemed quite intimidated with all the high schoolers surrounding him, and smiled shyly.

"Hello."

Akihiko looked on with shock, and Shinjiro looks as if someone had just punched all the air out of him. Yuuki looked at the two seniors with curiosity and back to the little boy, wondering if something had happened between them. But this kid doesn't seem to know them in the least.

Yukari smiled at the boy. "Oh, hi, Ken-kun. What's up?"

Akihiko looked surprised. "You know him?"

"He doesn't leave during the break because of his…circumstances." Ikutsuki explained.

"Oh, I heard about that…" Yukari looked pained. "Something about his parents…"

Yuuki looked pained at that, and Shinjiro's eyes darkened, with Akihiko looking quite worried.

"It was only me and my mom, but she got in an accident." Ken explained. He then looked away, biting on his bottom lip. Shinjiro looked as if he had just swallowed a lemon. An extremely sour lemon. "And…she died. It happened two years ago."

Yukari looked guilty at that. "I'm sorry."

"Right now, one of his distant relatives is paying for his school expenses." Ikutsuki explained. "But staying at the elementary school dorm all by himself isn't proper for a child his age. So I decided to move him to your dorm for the summer."

Akihiko looked as if he was about to suffer from a heart attack at Ikutsuki's statement, and Yukari looked shocked.

"To our dorm?" Yukari echoed. "Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"Why, of course," said Ikutsuki with a smile. "He has the potential."

"Potential?" Akihiko echoed. "Then he's the new candidate?"

Ikutsuki nodded. "Yes. But as you can see, he's still just an elementary school student. So it is merely a possibility for now."

Shinjiro looked pained at that, and Ken looked at Akihiko with adoring eyes.

"Are you…Sanada-sempai?"

"Um…yeah…"

"I've heard a lot about you," said Ken, with stars almost shining in his eyes, and Akihiko resisted the urge to take a step backwards from the boy, since his 'fangirls are near' senses are tingling. "You haven't lost a boxing match yet. It's a real honour to meet you!"

Akihiko coughed. "Yeah well… It's nice to meet you."

"Well, I'll take Ken-kun back to the elementary school dorm. There are still several paperwork to be done before Ken-kun can be moved to the dorm," said Ikutsuki cheerfully. "You guys should get ready for the Yakushima trip too. Aragaki-kun, you're coming too, I assume?"

All eyes were on Shinjiro at that, and he grunted, pulling his beanie down to cover his eyes. "…yeah," he muttered. He was planning to go when Ikutsuki had made the suggestion, but somehow, Yuuki had actually 'persuaded' him to go when they were having lunch after school at Hagakure the other day.

"Well, let's go back," said Yukari with a sigh.

One by one, the others left for the dorm, but before Yuuki can move, Shinjiro grabbed her hand, stopping her in her tracks. The chestnut haired girl turned to look up at him with a curious look, and Shinjiro blushed before letting go of her hand. "Sorry. But can you come with me for a moment?" he asked. "I have something to tell you."

Back Alley
Tatsumi Port Island

For once, the back alley is void of all people as both Shinjiro and Yuuki walked in, with the latter looking quite curious. Shinjiro looked around silently as he entered, his hands stuffed into his pockets, thinking deeply.

He knew that now that Ken had been introduced to the SEES members, it would probably only take a matter of time before he formally joined them, and he would have to tell Ken the truth someday. But before he told Ken, he wanted Yuuki to learn the truth from him, not from a secondary source.

"Why did you bring me here, Shinjiro-sempai?" Yuuki asked Shinjiro curiously, even as the latter stopped at a certain area in the back alley.

Shinjiro didn't say anything for several moments before he sighed. "It is here," he said, and Yuuki raised a curious brow. "Come to think of it, this place held most of my more memorable moments – both good and bad." Yuuki stared blankly, not understanding what he meant. "It is here where I told you, Takeba and Iori about Fuuka. I often came here with you to feed that kitten as well. And…" Shinjiro sighed. "It is also here where I…killed Amada's mother."

Yuuki's eyes widened. "What…do you mean by that?" she asked.

Shinjiro sighed and turned to face Yuuki. "Do you remember? You've asked me once why I left SEES," he said, and Yuuki nodded. "The original SEES was made up of me, Aki and Kirijo. But before me and Aki, it only consists of Kirijo, though SEES doesn't even exist back then. Kirijo and Ikutsuki recruited Aki back when we were still in middle school. I was worried about that idiot back then, and practically camped outside the SEES dorm for nights before Kirijo finally relented to let me join them. It was a dangerous time for us then, as we didn't understand anything, and just spend night after night fighting the Shadows, though we've never entered Tartarus even once then."

Shinjiro fell silent then, staring at a spot on the ground, almost like he could still see the lifeless body of the woman from back then, her blank eyes staring at him, almost as if asking him accusingly why he had taken her life. The brunette almost jumped when he felt a hand touching his arm, and turned only to see Yuuki, smiling at him, telling him with her eyes alone that she trusted him.

"Two years ago, something happened," said Shinjiro, continuing his story. "At that time, we were chasing an unusual Shadow that had escaped into the city. The Shadow led us into the residential area, but none of us were thinking about that. The Shadow was all that is on our minds." He glanced at Yuuki. "I won't make excuses here. But I admit that at that time, we thought ourselves invincible. I had just awakened Castor at that time, and he isn't a Persona that is easy to control. It only just took a moment. Just that one moment, when I had a lapse in concentration. I…lost control of Castor momentarily, and he…" Shinjiro gulped.

"…went berserk." Yuuki ended his sentence, and Shinjiro nodded, glancing fearfully at Yuuki, almost afraid of what he will see on the face of the chestnut haired girl. He saw no disgust, fear, or even hatred. Just understanding.

"I managed to regain back control of Castor almost immediately, but there was a casualty. That person was Amada's mother." Shinjiro continued his story, and Yuuki's eyes widened, suddenly understanding Akihiko and Shinjiro's weird behaviour earlier. "Officially, the records stated that his mother died in an accident, but the truth is, I was the one who had murdered her."

"That's why you left SEES after that, and refused to use your Persona." Yuuki whispered, suddenly understanding everything.

Shinjiro nodded. "For two years, I kept running," he said. "I even went as far as to take suicidal pills in order to control my Persona. But I guess I just got tired of it all one day. I got tired of running away. Then Aki told me about you and your friends, and when I met you, you gave me the feeling that you believed in the road that you were walking on, and that you believed in the future. And I can't believe that it just took the power in believing and mere trust just to control Castor." He turned to face Yuuki. "I want you to hear this from me instead of from someone else, as I have to tell Amada the truth if he ever decides to join SEES. Then, if he ever decides to kill me or something…"

Shinjiro was taken aback when he felt a hand resting on his cheek, and looked down only to see Yuuki resting her hand against his cheek, smiling a small smile at him. "It isn't your fault," she said. "You've said it yourself; it was an accident. You didn't want it to happen. Besides, you yourself said that you had your Persona under control now. It won't happen again. I've seen you fight. You would willingly give your life to save someone else's in half a heartbeat. No matter what the students in our school believe, I know this. You are kind. Sempai won't hurt anyone. I trust you."

Shinjiro stared at Yuuki for a long time. How is it that she always had this ability to see through him like this? This happened back then as well, when she could break down every single one of his walls, and reach to him. She is also the only one who could make him smile again, as he had all but stopped after killing Amada's mother by mistake.

Yuuki was taken aback when Shinjiro embraced her in a tight hug, bringing her close to his body. He pressed his nose to her hair, taking in the familiar scent of the lilac shampoo that Yuuki always uses.

"Thank you," he muttered in her ear. "I guess… I just needed to hear this."

The resolution in Shinjiro's heart has awakened a Persona! Castor has given rise to Sandalphon!

Yuuki stiffened at being in such close contact with Shinjiro all of a sudden before she relaxed in his hold and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest, as the senior is taller than her by about a head and a half.

"You have a nice smell about you. Of spices and cooking oil, I think." Yuuki muttered.

Shinjiro snickered. "A guy is touching you, and that is all that you can say?" he said, releasing his hold on Yuuki, and she blushed. "But you smell nice as well." He sighed. "If truth be told, I'm all confused. I don't even understand anything. I can even think straight, and anything that I do feel seems illogical. You're…like a drug to me. You're so intoxicating that I can't help but want to be with you, to spend more time with you. You're all that I can think of, day and night. You're the first one that I think of the moment that I wake up, and the last one that I think about before I go to sleep. I even see you in my dreams. This isn't how it is supposed to be!" Yuuki's eyes widened as Shinjiro caressed her cheek, looking straight into her eyes. "This is all your fault, you know? You're the one making me feel like this. You're the one driving me crazy like this."

And before Yuuki could say anything, he pressed his lips against hers, shoving his tongue in almost immediately, savouring her taste. Almost as soon as it had begun, Shinjiro drew back again, grabbing onto her shoulders.

"I love you." Shinjiro stated. "I don't know how much more time I had left before Amada finds out everything, and if he will decide to kill me, but…" He trailed off. "All I know is that I want to be near you. That's why I've gone back to Gekkoukan High and to SEES. I lose control when I'm around you, and I want you so bad that I couldn't even help myself." He sighed. "This is making my head hurt." He kissed Yuuki again before drawing back. "Your answer?"

Yuuki stared at Shinjiro for a very long time before she pulled herself up to his eye level by grabbing on his shoulders and standing on tip-toes, pressing her lips to his own, and pulling back again.

Shinjiro smiled a very small smile. "I'll take that as a yes," he stated.