Jenny couldn´t cry anymore. She had cried the whole ride back to Redmont, but when she entered her restaurant she realised she was empty. Her tears were gone.
Sore and numb from the night she spend riding home, she sat down at a random table and went over everything that happened. With her tears, her sadness had gone aswell. All left was anger.
Yes, she was the one to break things off with Gilan. But that didn´t mean he could just.. just.. Argh! She didn´t even want tot think about it. Just the thought of him.. and her.. Gilan touching her like he had touched her. It mad her nauseous.
What could she do? Did she still want him? No, of course not, she told herself. But if Jenny was truly honest with herself, she had to admit she still longed for him, even when he had betrayed her like he just did. But if he still wanted her, she would certainly make him work.
Jenny just wondered, hoped, if she could ever get the image of him with that girl out of her head. Probably not..
Gilan, Will and Halt were on their way to Araluen. Well, Gilan was, Halt and Will would stay at Redmont when they got there.
Before leaving Halt had made Gilan clean his cabin thoroughly. Will, who had pitied him, helped cleaning the dishes, while Halt had taken it upon himself to go through his mail and the unopened reports.
Thankfully nothing too important had happened according to the reports. Gilan had the decency to still care a bit about his people. Old habits die hard, even when confronted with excruciating heartache.
When they split up Will and even Halt looked at him in concern. He swallowed heavily.
"It'll be allright Gil.. He wouldn't just send away one of his best rangers." Will said. But he seemed a bit unsure.
Well, at the moment he wasn't doing a particularly good job, now was he? But Gilan decided not to voice his bitter words. It wasn't Wills fault after all. Only he was to blame. And the liquor..
"Thanks, Will," he sighed, "well, therw's only one way to find out."
He nodded at them, locked eyes with Halt one last time, only to find them full of sorrow, and took off.
"The bastard! How could he? I mean.. You didn't broke up that long ago!"
The usually calm and collected courier paced around in her office, while muttering insults and making big arm gestures.
Jenny appreciated it. She could stand anger much better than pity. She hated the way Horace and Will looked at her, like she could collapse any second.
After a while Alyss calmed down a bit and spoke in a voice that seemed much more her own.
"What are you going to do Jenny? Do you.. Do you still love him?"
Jenny shrugged. At the moment she just didn't know anymore.
"I.. Well, I do still love him. I really do. But I don't think he still wants me. And" she quickly said because she noticed Alyss wanted to interrupt her, "I can't stop picturing him with that other girl. If he still wants me, he has some serious groveling to do."
Alyss nodded. "Yes, that's for certain. And even if you're able to forgive him, I don't know if I can. I mean I know he's had a hard time with the break-up, but this is just unacceptable. Okay officially you're not together anymore, but still.."
Jenny sighed. One day she would have to confront him, but for now, she just wanted to forget.
Gilan entered the magnificent castle nervously. He had cleaned himself up a bit, but still, he felt very much like he didn't belong here anymore. He was going to get kicked out, he just knew it.
All his life he had wanted to become a ranger. Knights just were not his thing. His father had been disappointed at first, but eventually supported his decision.
If he hears they've taken his silver oak leaf, he's going to kill me, Gilan thought while he walked up the stairs to Crowleys office.
He could imagine his reaction already. After all your training and hard work! How could you throw it all away, son! Over some peasant girl! I thought you had some pride!
Gilan stopped when he reached the wooden door that he had to enter in order to hear his faith. With cold fear spreading from his heart to the rest of his body, he grabbed the handle and pushed the door open.
He entered the room and when he saw who were inside he froze and all colour drained from his face. Crowley sat at his desk with a concerned frown and next to him stood his father, Sir David, whose face was a stoney mask.
´Hello son.´