A/N: Alright, so, have a cup of hot chocolate and grab a blanket everyone... (especially my poor little guest reviewer! Aaaawwwwww I feel you dear, I was in pain, too xD... but I HAD to end it there. Cause I'm a meanie. A temporary meanie, at least, lol)

... And get ready for some FLUFF ':o)! Belated fluffy chappy for Christmas lying ahead! Tehehe... ^_^'

Well, okay, like, "fluffy" O~O'... ... given the general circumstances that we're in a super high-security prison and Zuko's being tortured and there isn't anything Sureen really can do about it. Nevertheless... well, anyway, go find out yourselves ;)! Here we go!

Oh and last but not least a big THANK YOU to my new beta, Jaxrond... who managed to squeeze this beta-job into her Christmas! :)

-21-

UNCONSCIOUSNESS

Approaching steps. Never a good omen.

If there was anything she'd learned since she'd been imprisoned, it was to dread approaching steps. And for that reason the swelling, rhythmic sound reached her through the layers of thick darkness enveloping her consciousness. After blinkingly opening her eyes, Sureen hurried to grab hold of the cell door's bars in front of her, struggling to cope with the dizziness clouding her mind. The room was spinning around her, and her neck and knees hurt awfully. Slowly scanning her surroundings, she concluded that she must have passed out curled up on the floor, half leaning against the door. Because –

And in an instant, the memories were back. The nerve-wrecking waves of Zuko's agony that had swamped her mind until even the last remains of her energy and resistance had been washed out, and she couldn't help but succumb to unconsciousness. But now the sensations that had made her faint had faded entirely. No waves, not the slightest hints of anyone's emotions were left. She felt nothing but her own dizziness, accompanied by a heavy silence. A silence that was soon drowned out by the alarming noise of approaching steps.

Sureen managed to get back to her feet early enough to back off from the cell's entrance when the steps came to a halt in front of it. In the half-light provided by the torches lining the corridor she recognized the two guards that had come to pick up Zuko earlier. Only this time, both of them were heavily loaded, especially the man bringing up the rear. The girl anxiously averted her eyes; the dawning realization that she didn't want to find out what they were carrying virtually glued her gaze to the floor.

Mere seconds later, after the metal padlock was unlocked, and the door was kicked open, the first guard made a beeline for Sureen.

"Take care of him," he commanded her curtly, pointing behind himself with his head, before placing his load right in front of her. A bowl with hot water, and a bunch of fresh clothes and dressing material, Sureen noticed, swallowing heavily in an unsuccessful attempt to get rid of the lump tightening her throat.

Then she heard a thud. And almost sank back to her knees as another flare-up of the overly familiar pain washed over her. Even without lifting her head she knew that the second guard had carried Zuko over his shoulders. And now he'd just dropped the unconscious prince to the floor. Consumed by the hammering heartbeat resounding in her head, Sureen didn't notice that the two guards turned around and left. Her mind was racing. She didn't know how to keep herself from panicking, how to handle this, how to mentally stay away from him enough to not lose herself in his agony. Yet... She'd let Zuko down once, and she sure as hell wouldn't do it again.
Gritting her teeth, Sureen eventually lifted her head and took some stumbling steps towards her unconscious cell-mate that lay on the ground in front of her, face down. For the first time since she'd been brought to that place she was grateful for the semidarkness in their cell. She didn't need or want to see any of Zuko's injuries to know that his entire back was covered in blood, slashed by deep flourishes and cuts, laced with fresh and reopened old wounds. There was no inch of his flesh left uninjured - she couldn't help but feel it.

But that's not me. Not my feelings, not my pain. I'm fine. Don't fall for it. Keep a distance. Not. Me. I. Am. Fine, she insistently reminded herself while taking some deep, shuddering breaths, fighting to keep her composure.

Suddenly, the prince turned his head, groaning in pain even from the minor motion. But at least he was regaining his consciousness.

"Zuko...," Sureen ground out, forcing her reeling thoughts into a somewhat logical direction. "Hey... there you are," she continued, giving her voice a calmer tone. "Zuko. It's me. Look at me. I need you to listen. I don't want you to lie on the wet, cold floor. But the bunk bed is right over there, you see...? Only a few steps away. So let's get you over to that cot, okay? Do you think you... C-can you -?"

Blankly staring at his friend for a few seconds, as though it took him a while to realize where he was and who was talking to him, and to make his pain-clouded mind process the words, the prince eventually nodded.

Afraid that she'd backpedal on her own suggestion if she hesitated too long, Sureen hurried to kneel down beside him, and to shift his upper body across her back, merely grabbing his wrist as she struggled back to her feet. She couldn't bring herself to wrap her other arm around his waist, since she'd unavoidably press it against his injured back by doing so.

Only after she'd half-carried, half-dragged him to the bed and got the bowl with the hot water and the clean cloths did Sureen allow herself to take a break. Only then - and almost with relief - did she notice that Zuko had passed out again. At least now she could take care of his wounds without causing him any more pain. She released a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.
Yet she refused herself any further slackening of her enforced concentration. Because she had no doubt that, once she'd stop focusing on thinking rationally, she'd be swamped by a flood of emotions.

Looming in the corners of her subconscious, there were all those related memories and all-too vivid pictures. Memories of herself, pressing a burning hot knife into Zuko's bleeding wound to staunch it, unaware of the horrible effects it would have on the prince's traumatized mind. The picture of Jet's blood-covered, smashed ribcage and the way it frantically rose and fell with each of his agonized, rugged breaths. Although she'd desperately tried to focus on nothing but his face, the image was forever imprinted in her mind. And now all those pictures were pushing back to the fore with a vengeance. For it felt as though everything was repeating. But she wouldn't let those thoughts get the better of her. She had to stay focused.

With a determined frown she hurried to search the cot for her bag and the ointment jar in its front pocket, dissolved a small amount of the jar's content into the water, and soaked a piece of cloth with the warm fluid.

x-x-x

Unconsciousness was the only state comparable to his newfound emptiness of mind. Almost comparable. Except for having no awareness, no chance to keep track of where he was or what was happening around him. It was a total black-out that erased his existence for a while and made him return with a mental time gap, with the bad feeling that he'd missed something… something crucial, to say the least. Yet it was his only resort when emptiness of mind was out of reach. So he'd decided not to fight it. The nauseating sensation of the courtyard spinning around him, his legs turning to jelly and his vision beginning to blur would soon enough relieve him of the neverending volley of punches, blows and lashes of that whip. It would take him from the excruciating hell around him to an oblivious, peaceful state of nonexistence.

And to escape from hell was all he wanted.

What first shattered his state of self-oblivion and made his nonexistence go up in smoke was a heavy thud as his body was dropped to the floor. Like a painful reminder that escaping from hell was merely wishful thinking, and nothing but a temporary illusion. But once he felt the familiar surge of darkness pulling him back to the blackout he'd come from, he straight away obeyed its gravity and gratefully lost himself in the dark.

The next time his perception kicked in, his mind almost burst with the sudden flood of opposing sensations. He was surrounded by something familiar yet not alarming... he knew he was addressed yet wouldn't get hurt... and it made him feel comfortable yet cautious. He wanted to trust that voice yet couldn't. At least it was enough to make him want to see, want to listen, want to have his consciousness back - no matter how painful that state would be.

It took him forever to process who that person in front of him was, what she was talking about, what she was asking him to do... And that she meant no harm when she pulled him up from the floor. And that, in turn, he needed to try and make his legs move to somehow help her reach that bunk bed she'd been talking about. Even if that meant he'd be swamped by another flood of violent pain. But at least this time, it was his own decision.

The moment he felt the soft mattress beneath his hands and knees, once more, unconsciousness overran him with irresistible gravity.

x-x-x

It was done.

With shaky hands, Sureen immersed a fresh cloth in the ointment-water-mixture, wrung it out thoroughly, and spread the damp, steaming piece of fabric across Zuko's back to cover the gross variety of cuts, burns and all sorts of wounds. At least now they were treated as well as possible.

Another layer of clean fabric definitely won't hurt, though, before I tuck him in with that yucky rag-thing, Sureen thought to herself, grabbing for the clean shirt the guards had brought along, carefully spreading it across the prince's back, before she glared and wrinkled her nose at the smelly, dirty blanket covering Zuko's body up to his waist. Reluctantly she reached for the thing and pulled it up to his shoulders. Then she heavily flopped back down on the mattress.

Squeezed into the small space at the top-end of the cot, right next to Zuko's unconscious form, Sureen leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes for a second, the clammy concrete against her shoulders and the back of her head making her shiver.

But finally, she was done with her work... And more than done with the guards who'd laid their filthy hands on Zuko, more than done with the whole day, that entire place, the fact that everything seemed so completely fucked that she didn't even know how to - where to -

Her bleak thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a low, pained groan.

Oh... seems like somebody's coming 'round again, the girl thought with a sigh.

"Hey there... Welcome back," she carefully greeted her cell-mate, whose now labored breathing revealed that regaining consciousness seemed everything but welcoming to him. "They... battered you pretty badly, you know? Well, yeah. I - I guess you do know, I mean, 'cause it's not like you weren't there w-while they..." Sureen continued stutteringly. "W-whatever. I'm afraid you'll feel pretty crappy for quite a while. I cleaned up the wounds on your back as good as I could, so I hope they're gonna heal without troubling you more than necessary. But still, it's gonna take a while. I - I'm sorry." Running both hands through her tousled, long hair, she let out a shuddering breath. "Those damn, sick, delusional disordered lunatics... I mean, how twisted must someone's brain be to...? And it wasn't even the first time time they did that, was it," Sureen added, suddenly remembering that there had been both fresh and older, reopened cuts.

She wasn't sure whether he was unable or just unwilling to respond. But the silence following her question was only interrupted by Zuko's still labored breaths. After resting her head against the wall once more and taking some time to collect her thoughts, she eventually continued.

"Either way, I'm sorry, Zuko. For... Ugh, for so many things, really. It's too much to... I don't even know where to begin, or if I could even list everything right now. But most of all I'm sorry for this whole screwed up situation and for my stupid attempt to... you know, earlier, when I tried to... um, bring you back to life? I don't even know what exactly I tried, but it was a stupid idea and I'm sor-"

"Shut it. For once, stop apologizing." When he abruptly cut her off, his voice was strained and hardly more than a hoarse whisper. Yet it held an assertiveness that left Sureen unable to finish her sentence. "You a-always... always do that. Apologizing. Although you don't even... although I'm the one to blame." Being too short of breath to continue, the prince involuntarily had to pause.

"Zuko, I... No, whenever I-" Sureen hurried to step in.

"No. Stop it. Listen." Again, he paused reluctantly. This time, Sureen limited herself to worriedly staring at her knees. "Ever since... we first met... I was an in... insufferable pain in the ass. And I still am. And I dunno if that's... ever gonna change. I yelled at you, I almost beat you up... like, back when you wanted to run after Jet... in that... restaurant. And then again... t-today. So, in fact, I'm the one that can't list all the things he should apologize for. Yet... it was always you... you always turned things around... to m-make it look like I was right and you were... wrong... and like you needed to ap... apolo-" Zuko's voice cracked, and again, the silence was filled by nothing but his ragged breathing.

"Hey, please... you can tell me all this stuff later, like, whenever. I mean, it's not like we're in a hurry or anything. Plus, just for your information, we're captured in here - so it's not like I'm going to run away from this place anytime soon, you know." Sureen just couldn't help it. She had to try and stop him. Just why was he pushing himself over the edge like that when he was almost too weak to keep his eyes open or speak, let alone to give her a whole lecture?!

"Agni. Will you finally stop it and listen? I mean it! I... o-okay, so you wanted to 'bring me back to life'? Well then, this probably is... the closest thing to 'alive' I'll ever be for the next... f-for... for I dunno how long. You saw me... earlier, didn't you? You remember what you saw... what I was like. My... absence. And I swear to Agni, I'll go back to that state as soon as... I'm in full control of myself again. So we either talk now... o-or we'll talk... maybe never," he ground out, unable to banish the exhaustion from his voice.

"Zuko... o-okay, alright, so we'll talk now. Just don't... don't push yourself too far, okay?"

"Push myself too far? With this? Who the hell do you think you're... kidding? This is nothing. C-compared to... Well, never mind. Just please... L-lemme finish this... Will you?"

Lying there face down, he couldn't see either Sureen wholeheartedly nodding her head, or hurriedly wiping away the tears tracing down her cheeks.

"I don't... want you to apologize for my mistakes, for my... m-misbehavior," the prince continued. "Don't say you're sorry and don't try to... to take all the blame... so I don't have to take it. 'Cause that's what you always did... all along. But I can't... I can't handle it, okay? Now less than... ever."

This time, she was too taken aback for a quick repartee. Lost for words, she grabbed for... his hand, since that seemed to be the only uninjured part of his body in her reach.

"But... but I never did that to pretend that everything was solely my fault, Zuko," Sureen eventually stepped in. "Whenever I apologized, I did so because I'd really screwed it. I mean, at least I did my fair share in screwing it." After giving Zuko's hand a short squeeze, she let go of it again. "Well, but that doesn't mean I'm the only idiot or the only one to blame. Like... just because I'm apologizing doesn't mean you're off the hook, okay? Just so you know, your Majesty. But hey, remember? You once gave me a, say, 'letter of acceptance', stating that you'll try to treat me somewhat more like a lady. So it's like... we've been at that point before, and according to my memory we already put that straight, your Highness."

'Hey, seriously, have a cup of tea and try to get your mind off things. Get some sleep. His Highness Prince Zuko - who's trying to work on his manners and treat his only friend more like a lady.'
Despite herself and their situation, she suddenly couldn't help but chuckle as the thought of the scroll crossed her mind.

"I mean, come on, what I did earlier was a stupid idea, in fact. You can't deny it. But... when I first saw you huddled up in the corner, I honestly thought you were a dead body or something... because that was what it felt like. And I never experienced something like that before. Like, somebody feeling that dead. Like they weren't even there. When I looked your way, there was no hint of... nothing, really. And it scared the hell outta me, you know. It really did. Until I noticed that tiny flame. Like some tiny bit of your personality was still left or something. So I was like - okay, if it's still there, I'm gonna find it and pull it out of its hideout, so the old you will be back. But... I had no clue what it was that you were holding back, in fact. I had no idea that it would end up like this," Sureen explained, grimacing as she carefully poked her left cheek that still felt like a soaked sponge. Probably it was already turning black and blue, beautifully distorting her face in the process. Oh well, so what, she thought with a shrug. Not like anyone would care about my looks anyway in this hellhole.

"Yeah... no. I had no idea, either," Zuko replied hoarsely. "But I knew that... whatever it is that's hiding within me... whatever I became inside, it's... dangerous, Sureen. It's uncontrollable. If I ever lose to it, it's gonna swallow me, drown me... and I dunno how to... if I could... I- I couldn't bear up against it. And that mustn't happen. By no means. 'Cause the only way... for me to survive this nightmare is to never let that side of me take over. I gotta... switch myself off. So... please... whatever you tried to do earlier, never do it again. Got that?"

His suddenly harsh tone made Sureen cringe. "I - okay. I got it. I won't. I - I'm sorry."

The prince let out a shaky sigh. "No. I'm sorry. But this is about survival only, and it's... all I can care about. Even if it turns me into... an empty shell."

"So... what you're trying to say is that I need to get used to it, right? Like, this is not really you anymore, because you gotta keep yourself 'switched off', and I'll be faced with that empty-shell-kinda-thing, and you won't snap out of it, and I mustn't make you."

"Yeah."

"Well... at least now I know why you're acting that way and that it's nothing I need to fight. So... okay, I won't. 'Cause there wouldn't really be a point in forcing you to snap out of it. It would only make things worse, I guess. But then again... I take it there will be more moments like this in the future. Like, when you can't keep up that switched-off state, for whatever reasons. Although I'm sure that - whatever can cause you to let go of your survival strategy - it must be some real powerful, heavy stuff... to really make you respond like that, I mean. So, of course, I don't want that to happen again. But I have a feeling that it will happen nevertheless," Sureen added with a sigh.
"W- whatever. The thing is - even if I stick to what you asked me for... even if it's gonna be like you'll be something close to a dead body, and I won't do anything to change that... I'll still know that you aren't really dead inside, Zuko... but that it's the only thing that makes you survive. So it's okay. And in turn, you know that - whenever your survival strategy will run into mischief and you can't keep it up anymore - I'll be right there. You do know that, don't you?"

Even without trying to break his remaining defenses, Sureen had almost managed to do so once more. Again she'd managed to find the right (or the wrong?) words that reached all the way down to the very part of his soul he'd tried so hard to encapsulate in the deepest depths of his subconscious. And in turn, just like a starving plant, that part of his soul tried to reach out for those words, to devour each of them, and to use that newfound energy to burst out of its narrow capsule. But as much as he wanted to just let it happen, to simply stop fighting back... he simultaneously knew that there was no way he could ever allow that side of him to take over again.

But how could he voice it when he didn't even dare feel it? The prince knew the moment he'd open his mouth to reply would be his last straw, would be the moment he'd push his chances to survive over the edge. And he couldn't risk that. By no means.

Survival was all he could care about. But maybe he could... Perhaps, at least, just for a second...?

He swallowed hard, and slowly reached for the girl's hand.

And Sureen couldn't help but smile, noticing Zuko's gesture, and finally sensing some emotions different from the raging, destructive vortex that had overrun her friend earlier.

"Oh, and by the way I'm glad we met again. Despite... all of this," she continued before the silence could become awkward. "'Cause, well, this is not exactly how I'd visualized our reunion, you know. But still... Spirits, you have no clue how often I'd thought about how you're doing and if you'd still... still hate me. Or if you'd even want to see me or talk to me again. So... I'm glad you're back, Zuko. I'm glad we're back. I - I can't deny I kinda missed you."

Again, there was no reply from the figure lying motionlessly beside her. But she felt her hand being squeezed again. And she sensed what she sensed, and that was all she needed to know.

Although... well, she still hadn't found out why the hell he'd been brought to this prison. But then again, she hadn't yet told him the reason why she'd been captured, either. But those stories would have to wait for another day, Sureen decided, glancing over at the panting, tired out prince. And so much for 'don't push yourself too far' and 'this is nothing', she thought to herself, leaning back against the wall once more and letting a short sigh escape her.

"But hey, you should really get some rest now. Enough talking for today. And no, shush, this time you'll stop it. You told me enough. Th-thank you," Sureen added sheepishly while she felt his grip on her hand loosening and his arm going limp. Especially for letting me know the things you couldn't tell me, she mentally finished the sentence.

And yet again, for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Zuko succumbed to the darkness lurking at the edges of his consciousness. Only this time, what made him stop resisting was a feeling of reassurance. Knowing that, for once, unconsciousness wasn't his last resort to escape from hell. And for once, the time gap it would cause didn't hold anything alarming.

For once, unconsciousness was nothing but a warm, comforting blanket that enveloped his body and soul, and finally allowed him to take a rest.

And for once, the tears running down Sureen's cheeks were nothing but pure, overflowing relief.

x-x-x

Song for this chapter: "The Rose" by Bette Midler (Ikr - cheesy song is cheeeeeeeesy XD, but pffffft, I couldn't care less right now :P!)

A/N: GAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Jjfglakäkgäajafhgahjf :..) my babies talkinnnngggggg... omg how much I loved writing that convo! Honestly! Like my heart jumped up and down inside my ribcage all along!

Ugh, I just hope I didn't take it too far with all that "And she grabbed his hand... and he squeezed her hand" fluff stuff o.O! I mean, I knooooowww it's super cheesy of sorts, but I just NEEDED all that cheese SO BAD after those last two chapters, like, srsly, I couldn't help it, the cheese took over :'D and I had no choice but to succumb to it. Irresistible gravity and all XD. Omg. But it just felt SO RIGHT the moment I wrote it... so I really freakin HOPE I didn't go over the top with it or anything. Like, at least I do have a somewhat valid excuse - Sureen only did it because the rest of Zuko's body was covered with OPEN WOUNDS, and that's a reason, OKAY xD?! And Zuko did it because a) he's a lame copy-cat, lol... and b) because he sucks at talking about "dangerous stuff".
[But just for the record - nevertheless, this still is nothing but a friendship thingy :P! Sureen's heart belongs to Jet FOREVER, it's true love and not even death can change that! :P :P :P]

But yeah. I hope you're feeling better now, everyone xD... At least I do, lol. And on that note - merry belated Christmas evereyone! :)

But okay, anyway, enough rambling. See you next time!

[PS: The next chappy might take me quite a while :S. Because I have to arrange for... things... to happen. And I need them to work and to make sense and all. Like... say, Hakoda will play an important role again. But we're still in a damn high-security PRISON and nothing works the way I want it and everything's complicated. Aaaaaaarrrggh! So yeah. Bear with me.]