Disclaimer: I don't own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody or The Suite Life on Deck. They're on my Christmas list, though!

Chapter 9: Tape 5-The Funeral

"It'll make you wonder how Zack is still able to get up every morning."

Miss Tutweiller thought she knew what it was like to be sad. During her childhood years, she had been bullied and mostly friendless, and as an adult, she worried about ever being able to get married and have a family. She thought she was pretty familiar with the feeling of grief.

None of her past experiences could compare to the sadness that the third and fourth videos had to offer, though. She knew that if she had to go through what Zack did, she wouldn't be able to live with seeing what he had. Mr. Moseby said that the fifth video would make her question how Zack was still happy, but she was already doing that now.

It was for this reason that Miss Tutweiller found herself dreading the next video more than the others combined, despite the fact that the manager had given them virtually the same warning before each of the tapes.

Mr. Moseby put the DVD into the TV, and the screen came to life. The video started in a different location from the others, one that Miss Tutweiller didn't recognize. Whoever was holding the camera was in the back of a large hall-like room. There were many other people there, both adults and children, who were dressed formally and talking to each other in hushed voices. Miss Tutweiller felt a pit of dread settle in her stomach. She was pretty sure she knew where this was, and she realized that Mr. Moseby was right about this video being much sadder than the others. She was tempted to bolt from the room, but she didn't have the strength to look away. She didn't even think she'd be able to if she tried. It was like a car accident: she didn't want to stare, but she almost didn't have a choice.

An unseen distraction from the front caused all the people to stop their murmuring and settle into the many chairs that were set up, including the person holding the camera. A few seconds of shaking resulted. When the image refocused, Miss Tutweiller could see a podium, alter decorated with flowers, and a big, white table. A large object was sitting on the table, covered with a deep purple silk. She felt nauseated when she realized what it was.

To highlight her nightmare, Woody chose that moment to speak up, causing Mr. Moseby to pause the tape when the white table was in the exact center of the screen.

"That's… that's Cody's body, isn't it?" the curly-haired boy asked Mr. Moseby. Miss Tutweiller turned in time to see him nod painstakingly slow. A whimper emitted from Bailey and Maya while Woody's face drained of all color.

"Shall we continue?" Mr. Moseby deadpanned. If she wasn't so numb, Miss Tutweiller would probably be angry at him for even making a semi joke about it, and she knew the others would be as well.

The tape resumed. For a couple of seconds, nothing happened up front, but then a man Miss Tutweiller didn't recognize stepped up to the podium. The room hadn't been noisy before, but now the silence was overpowering.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Cody Martin. He was a wonderful young man, and his death was tragic. We are all sorry to see him pass, and will miss him dearly. However, today is about life, not death." He paused and looked off to the side, at something out of view of the camera. He turned back to the audience and continued. "Now, we have Cody's brother Zack to come say a few words."

The man then descended from the podium and Zack stepped up from a chair on the side. He walked forward to the lectern, but wasn't tall enough to see over it and had to use a stepstool. This made Miss Tutweiller cringe. It was just another reminder of how young they were. No one should have to die at twelve, nor should they have to loose someone so important to them.

Zack cleared his throat, and she focused back on the tape. Zack was standing very rigidly, his hands clenching the edges of the podium so hard that his knuckles were white, like he had in class the day they started the twin unit.

"Um… hi," he started nervously. Miss Tutweiller felt another twinge of pain. Onscreen, Zack winced, as if realizing how scared he sounded. He cleared his throat again and raised his chin challengingly, as if daring anyone to laugh at him. No one did.

After a few seconds, he took a deep breath and clung tighter to the podium. After a few more seconds, he spoke.

"My name is Zack Martin," he said. "I'm twelve years old. Cody was my twin brother. Two weeks ago, he was beaten up by Drew Thomas, a bully from our school and put into a coma. He died a few days after that."

Miss Tutweiller was surprised that he was able to say that much without breaking down. It then dawned on her that she was seeing the formation of Zack's strength- the beginning of the person he was today, who was able to hide his pain so well that it took years for his closest friends to discover it.

She turned back to the TV. Luckily, she hadn't missed anything.

"I'm not here to talk about Cody's death, though. He was a great person, and I want to remember his life, not his death."

She couldn't stop herself from looking away at those words.

"I heard a saying once," Zack continued. "It was 'twins are closer that regular siblings and double that if they're identical'. As someone with firsthand experience, I can confirm that that is 100% true. As twins, Cody and I shared so much more than we would have as normal siblings. Sometimes that was good and sometimes I hated it, but looking back, I'm glad for it. It meant that both of us had a friend and confident, who knew us almost as much as we knew ourselves. I'm… I'm not sure how I'll live the rest of my life knowing that I no longer have that option."

Miss Tutweiller was beginning to see what Mr. Moseby meant by his statement before the start of the video. It wasn't sad in the same way as the previous two- where she was overwhelmed by the sheer tragedy of what was happening- but it was still sad. The reason the fifth video was so tragic was that it was showing her a glimpse of Zack's true emotions. He was being pretty good at seeming detached, but Miss Tutweiller could see the mistiness of his eyes and the effort we was putting in to not stuttering.

"As many of you probably know, Cody and I were essentially total opposites. Cody was smart and obedient, while I am athletic and rebellious. Because of this, it might not make sense for the two of us to be as close as we were. Sometimes I feel this way too. But… I'm not sure why, but for some reason, this actually brought us closer. I think it's because we felt that we could provide for the other what they lacked, almost like two halves of the one whole. We made each other feel needed, and bonds like that form very strong connections. Even though Cody and I argued all the time, the bond- and our relationship- remained. Cody and I had to change to form our bond, and, now that it has been broken, it will involve more changing. I know this changing will be much harder, though. Unlike before, it will be single sided."

By now, Miss Tutweiller felt tears running down her face. Looking around, she saw that Bailey and Maya were also crying, and Marcus, Woody, and Mr. Moseby had tears in their eyes. She turned back to the TV, but was too absorbed in her own thoughts to hear what was going on. Since when could Zack- the troublemaker, slacker, and class clown- be this deep? She was also beginning to see how much he cared- and still did care- about Cody. His brother brought out a completely different side of him.

Zack continued on the tape, even though Miss Tutweiller half wanted him to stop. She wasn't sure how much more tragedy she could stand.

"Drew cornered Cody in an alley near the Tipton on the day he attacked him. The two of us were walking home from school. Normally… normally we walked together, but I went on ahead with some of our friends because we had had an argument earlier that day and I was still angry at him for it. Even though it's not technically true, this is why I think Cody's death is at least partially my fault. Before I said that Cody and I were different and helped each other out because of it. Since I was stronger, I labeled myself Cody's protector. I knew he wouldn't appreciate it if I told him, but I still did it. Since I abandoned him and he got beaten up because of it, it feels like I failed at my job and let him down. And… and sometimes that's pretty hard to live with."

It was official. Miss Tutweiller was now sobbing, and she was positive that the other girls were too. She couldn't believe how much of Zack's inner personality she was bearing witness to. At first, she was a bit surprised that he was being so open and honest with the audience, since it seemed to go against his character- or what she knew of it anyway. After listening for a while, though, she started to understand. She could see that Zack had been carrying all this mental weight around since his brother's death. Even on tape, it was clear how badly he had been wanting to ease some of his psychological burden. When he started to speak, he probably hadn't planned to say as much as he was, but she could see that he had almost completely forgotten that the audience was still there, unaware that they were hanging onto his every word. He was speaking entirely for himself.

Onscreen, Zack took a deep breath and addressed his next words to the sky and the body in front of him. To Cody.

"I've never been there, so I don't know what Heaven is like. I don't know if you can hear me, Cody, but if you can, I want to say goodbye. I also want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for all the fights we ever had. I'm sorry for all the times I wasn't there for you."

He lost his battle with the tears and they poured down his face as he delivered his next lines.

"But most of all… most of all, I'm sorry that I never said goodbye. I-I'm sorry that we had a fight that day. I never got to apologize to you for that. I hope you can hear me now and forgive me. I-I miss you so much, C-Cody. I love you. G-goodbye."

With those final words, the twelve-year-old collapsed into sobs and ran off the stage into the arms of his mother. After a few moments, the man from before stepped back onto the stage and the screen faded to black.

Miss Tutweiller looked around the room and saw that every single one of her companions were in tears.

The TV eventually switched to the default menu. For the longest time, no one moved to remove the disk. The six occupants of the room simply sat unmoving, listening to the others' tears and replaying Zack's speech.

To say Miss Tutweiller was astonished by Zack's words was the understatement of the century. She couldn't believe that the slacker, troublemaker, ladies' man could come up with something so moving. It also amazed her because it showed how close Zack had been to Cody. Once again, she was astonished by Zack's talent at pretending to be alright. Sure, he had five years to get over it before coming on the ship, but if she had a twin and they were as close as Zack and Cody, she was almost positive that she would be like Zack at the hotel for her entire life.

Eventually, Mr. Moseby got up to stow the DVD and turn off the TV. She watched him numbly. She was glad that this was the last tape- or the last morbid one, anyway. She wasn't sure how much more of Zack's suffering she could stand. But, in a way, she was also disappointed. It had felt like a privilege to be able to witness Zack's past in this way, and now she felt the disappointment met with its removal. Plus, now they would likely have to confess to Zack that they knew his secret, and she was definitely not looking forward to that.

Mr. Moseby turned around to face them. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it and sat back down in his chair. Miss Tutweiller understood. There was nothing left to say. Everything that needed to be said had just been said by a twelve-year-old boy on a five-year-old recording.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! I hope this chapter makes it that much happier! Like usual, I'm sorry that it took so long for me to update (I really don't have a legit excuse this time... unless lack of motivation counts). But, anyway, I hope you all liked this chapter. Zack's speech took me a really long time to write, so I'd love it if you'd review and tell me if you liked it! (hint hint wink wink)

Thanks to everybody who reviewed Chapter 8!

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