Notes: so much thanks to Race and Wapwani for reading and fixing and being so wonderful.
Most of the moments in Emma's life where she had been completely and truly shocked had not resulted in good memories. Surprises were very quickly associated with other kids in foster homes stealing her things, or being sent away from another family. There was the numb disbelief of being arrested, Neal long gone, and the terrifying appearance of a letter from the prison medical staff. The few times she was truly surprised in her bounty hunting days resulted in several of the scars on her skin and a dislocated shoulder. Finding out magic was real and she was the Savior, responsible for everyone's happy endings had taken her a long time to come to terms with. Even her son showing up on her doorstep had been...confusing, and terrifying, at least at first.
Maybe that's why Emma froze, staring at Regina like she'd never seen her before. And maybe she never had, not like this, because the smile that dawned on Regina's face was...tender and bright as the sun and so many other things that Emma's poor overworked brain really couldn't catalogue in the moment. Speaking, breathing, all those basic human functions were suddenly alien to her as she tried to process those two words and the feeling they evoked, like there was a balloon in her chest, pushing her heart up and her ribs out and where did all the air go?
Not even in the grip of the dragon fire spell did she experience this much emotion. She wanted to smile and shout and possible dance but no, not dance because Regina would make fun of her but definitely shout and kiss Regina, kiss Regina a lot...Even her internal thought process was babbling and Emma was distantly aware she probably was gaping like a fish but she couldn't help it.
"What?" she managed at last, the word coming out cracked and broken and oh, no, it came out wrong because the joy, the careful happiness was sliding off Regina's face and she started to pull back, curling in on herself and retreating. Emma could almost see her walls, the ones that had been torn down between them, being rebuilt, brick by brick, dimming the light in Regina's eyes and replacing it with fear and Emma panicked.
"We're...I mean you're….really?" she whispered, still grasping desperately for the right words and kicking herself because it was such a pathetic question, so meaningless, but she couldn't think. Except maybe it wasn't quite so meaningless because as stupid as it was, Emma's stumbling for words seemed to bring a flicker of something better, brighter back to Regina's dark eyes and carefully, carefully she nodded.
Emma's smile rose from her heart, bubbling up until it felt like her face couldn't contain it and she realized that pressure, that incredible something inside her was joy. Pure, untainted joy. This little family of theirs was perfect - Regina and Henry - were perfect, but even though Regina had given Emma the gift of memories, of holding Henry and changing diapers and first steps and holidays...no matter how much care and - Emma now realized love - had gone into those memories they weren't hers. Not really. Her hands had never cradled Henry, rocking him to sleep. She'd never helped him with his homework, never checked his forehead for a fever or kissed him goodnight and tucked him in. Regina had done all that, and she'd done amazingly, and alone.
Henry was their own not-so-little miracle and Emma knew she'd be grateful her entire life for the mother who raised her son, but she hadn't realized until now how badly she wished she'd been part of his childhood, how much she'd wanted to be with Regina through all the firsts, and the joy and the fear. To have someone to share it all with...and now, they had that chance. A chance to know this child from before she was born, to see her first breath, to hold her when she cried, to watch her take her first steps and be there for all the moments afterward. This time Emma could be a part of that, and this time, Regina wouldn't be alone.
This time...a sharp twist of shame burrowed in Emma's chest as she thought about her first year in Storybrooke, about how she'd hurt Regina so deeply, encouraging Henry to pull away from his mother. She could see now, so clearly, how she'd failed, not just as herself, as someone who grew up in the foster system and knew just how damn amazing it was that Regina had found Henry, loved him and cared for him, but as the Savior. Her role had been to bring happy endings back to Storybrooke and it had taken her far, far too long to realize the one person most desperately in need of happiness, was Regina.
They were better now, all of them, their patchwork little family strong and whole, but Emma silently swore the mistakes she had made would never be repeated. When the time came for their child to know about her family history, she would never have a chance to think of her mother as 'Evil.' Hurt yes, someone who had made mistakes - just as Emma herself had - but not Evil. There weren't going to be Saviors and Queens this time around. Just two moms and a wonderful older brother, doing the best they could.
Caught up in her own thoughts, it took Emma five heartbeats too long to realize Regina was still quiet, still looking at her with too much reserve at the corners of her mouth and suddenly Emma realized she might have made a huge mistake already. Because she hadn't even asked - they hadn't planned - Emma knew how awful it was to be pregnant and to be afraid -
"Do you...do you want to keep it?" her voice shook, and all that happiness quivered in her stomach because suddenly it wasn't certain, suddenly it was all just possibility again. But she'd never force, never push. If Regina didn't want this baby, that was it, there wouldn't be a baby, even if Emma wanted this, wanted to share this with Regina, more than she had any idea that she could, if Regina didn't want this, then Emma wouldn't think about it. Her eyes stung but she kept herself still, kept looking at Regina trying to convey that she would be there for her no matter what.
And because she was looking she saw the flicker of determination, the way Regina straightened, just a little, saw the 'Yes' even before the other woman opened her mouth. Emma saw possibility become reality and she sagged, that stupid stupid smile on her face again as Regina reached out and took her hand, guiding it to rest against the warm wool of her coat just below her navel.
"Yes."
"Yeah?" Emma whispered, gently slipping her hand beneath Regina's coat until only her shirt separated their skin and she stroked small circles with her thumb.
"So much."
Emma laughed then, or maybe it was a sob, but it didn't matter because it was a happy noise, and the way Regina's face lit up into a smile that wasn't careful anymore, just bright like the sun. Emma kissed her then, because that was easier than talking. A lot easier. There weren't words for this, or at least Emma couldn't find them so she tried to say everything with the press of her lips against Regina's, with the way she pulled Regina close, resting her forehead against Regina's temple.
"Then it's perfect, " she whispered softly. With her hand still pressing against Regina's stomach and her other arm around her shoulders, Emma closed her eyes and let her magic say what she couldn't find the words for. Sinking down, down into the core of herself like Regina taught her, she pulled from that bright, shining mass of family and love and happy and not alone never alone again and let it flow into her veins and out through her skin and into Regina, until the chilled breeze and the cold air whipping off the ocean couldn't even be felt, as if they were sprawled on a high grassy hill beneath the hot summer sun, lazy and languorous and suffused with warmth.
"Oh, Emma," Regina sighed and Emma felt Regina's magic rise up to meet hers, a rush of happiness so deep and pure it took her breath away. Regina softened against her side, turning to press her face close to Emma's and Emma just held her and breathed as their magic hummed between them.
Silence descended again, easy and comfortable this time and Emma breathed it in, tried to hold on to it as tightly as she could. If she had learned anything in Storybrooke, it was that peace wasn't lasting. This moment, with Regina in her arms, happy, this moment Emma wanted to make last as long as possible.
They lost track of how long they sat there like that, but eventually Regina straightened a little, her hand pressing to Emma's where it still rested against her stomach and she grimaced slightly.
"Well that answers that question. I'll be honest, I'm kind of glad you're pregnant instead of me," Emma said, watching the way Regina furrowed her brow . "I didn't like it much."
"It's not that pleasant so far," Regina agreed, but her smile and the shine in her eyes said the opposite.
Emma stroked her hand up and down Regina's back, wishing she could do more, "So it's little magic baby here that's made you sick?" She put a teasing note in her voice and got a half-hearted eyeroll for her efforts before Regina turned serious again, considering.
"Mal thinks so. The nausea might have been from the town line, or some kind of combination of the two." She met Emma's gaze with such affection that Emma had to fight her own tears. No one had ever looked at her like that, no one but Regina loved her with her heart so free. "The fever's definitely the baby."
Emma kissed her hot forehead. "When does it stop?"
"When it takes, when it's secure." Regina looked down, staring at their hands instead of into Emma's eyes. "Magical pregnancies can be... precarious, especially at first. Mal was sick too, with Lily, and she's so much stronger than I am."
"Regina, when you compare yourself to a dragon it's not really about who's stronger," Emma reminded her. She tilted Regina's chin up, wanting to see her eyes. "Will it be easier because we're both human?"
That helpless look returned to Regina's face. "I don't know. Mal-"
"Might know," Emma finished for her, then sighed. "So, we have a dragon you knocked up thirty-some years ago in another world as our best resource?" Emma's lips quirked in a smile. Honestly, what was her life?
"Well I highly doubt Dr. Whale learned anything about magical pregnancies in 19th century Bavaria," Regina replied, and her words had bite in them.
Emma stroked her shoulder and nodded. She knew Regina had good reasons to distrust Whale, and frankly Emma herself didn't want the man within fifty yards of either Regina or any child of theirs. Mal though, Mal she trusted. As weird as that still was on some level Emma knew Mal would protect Regina the best she could. They were heading into unknown territory, and maybe it would have been easier not to worry if Regina hadn't been sick. Being sort of nauseated and tired, Emma remembered, but fevers and vomiting - beyond a little morning sickness - hadn't been part of her pregnancy. "Is this common in the other world? Will there be books or something about it? Anyone we can ask?"
Regina shook her head. "Maleficent told me that Lily was a complete shock to her, so I think even among magical creatures, this is rare."
"So between us humans..." Emma joked back. "When I said we were unique this isn't quite what I meant."
Regina's glare was getting closer to full strength now and Emma grinned, unrepentant for a moment before sobering.
"I get it. Would the fairies know anything? You did save them from the hat, so they kind of owe you one. We could ask them, if you want," she offered it carefully though, knowing that Regina's history with the fairies was complicated, and unlike her parents, Emma shared Regina's distrust of fairies. She didn't know the whole story - and made a mental note to have a long conversation with Regina about this later - but she didn't believe their intentions were always pure.
Taking her fingers and holding them tight, Regina glanced down again, fear and anger tightening the space between her shoulders. "No," Regina said, voice hard and clipped. "Not the fairies at least...not Blue. I am not trusting Rheul Ghorm with the knowledge of our child." Emma just nodded in agreement, relieved not only at Regina's decision but at the determination in her whole posture. Snippy, angry Regina was reassuring, and more than a little endearing and Emma had to work not to smile at that. Oh how far they'd come.
That anger didn't last long though and Emma watched carefully as Regina's thoughts clearly turned toward something else. She knew almost before Regina started speaking what she was about to say. There was only one person who could bring that look of raw, heartbreaking love to Regina's face. "I want...I want to tell Henry, but I don't know, I don't think I'm ready. I might- I might still lose it. It's not certain yet." Though she didn't move, Regina seemed to curl inward and Emma tightened her hold.
"We'll keep it quiet," Emma said, trying to give Regina whatever strength she could with another kiss to her temple. "But we should tell Henry. No matter what happens, he should know."
Regina's hand squeezed hers briefly. "All right but... how?"
Emma knew a lot about Regina. Some of it learned in anger, some in fascination, a lot of it in love. But she knew with absolute certainty that Regina Mills admitting she didn't know how to do something was huge, was a sign of how scared Regina was. So Emma did what she did best, and acted like the confident idiot Regina needed.
"Pretty standard, I imagine," she said brightly. "Hey, kid, so, I knocked up your mom and you're getting another sibling to go with your dragon half-sister. Hope that's not too weird for you."
Regina made a strangled sound that was half laugh, half something else and Emma felt just a tiny bit of accomplishment. It didn't last long though, the humor fading from Regina's face to be replaced by a frown, by a fear Emma hated, even if she understood its source. "Will he be okay?" Regina whispered.
Emma hated that whisper, hated the tremor and the fear, because she knew Regina wasn't asking just for Henry. She was asking because what if this drove another wedge between mother and son. What if he didn't understand and was angry at her again. Emma knew, she understood now, Regina's deepest fear was still Henry's rejection, knew it was the one thing that had the power to destroy the woman in her arms, no matter how resilient her heart.
She'd already made the promise silently to herself, this time she made it to Regina. Shifting, Emma cupped Regina's face in her palms, gently bringing her eyes up. "Listen to me, you know I keep my promises, so I'm telling you, I promise you, Henry will be happy. He loves you Regina, more than anything. And he knows you love him too. Henry isn't like me, he'll never see himself as being replaced. You did that. You loved him so well. He'll be surprised, but he's not going to be hurt. We'll make sure of that. He's going to be the best big brother ever, just you wait. He'll be happy that we're happy."
Emma let a little of her magic go, pouring into Regina so she could feel not just hear. It made her shiver, made those dark, dark eyes shine and her lips curl upwards and there was so much hope on Regina's face. It took Emma's breath away.
"And we're happy?" The way she asked the question was so soft, so full of awe that all Emma could do was wrap her arms around Regina, pulling her close and hugging her tight.
"We are, we really are."
The gym was less full on the second night, Lily was pleased to note. Maleficent, Regina and Emma had been busy repairing as many homes as they could, but it was a big town, so while some residents were able to return to their homes, many were still packed into the emergency shelter. Her mom was powerful, and Lily had watched her repair houses with a wave of her hands, but she wasn't inexhaustible and Regina had tired quickly, while Emma had more worried about Regina than the rest of the town.
Maleficent joked about her power, but accepted the thanks of the townsfolk almost shyly, like she wasn't used to being thanked. She'd been alone a long time, Lily recognised the signs, the way she always seemed to hold herself apart. There was so much Lily wanted to know about her mom's life, about her father, if she had any family out there...but she knew it would have to wait until they weren't all fighting...whatever it was they were fighting. And honestly that was probably the weirdest thing about this whole mess. It didn't actually feel that weird. This town, magic, being a dragon, having a whole different form (apparently, she hadn't tried what Mal called the 'Change' yet) Lily felt like she belonged, for the first time in her whole life, her skin didn't feel too small. Some of that might have been how close she stuck by her mom. Something about Maleficent's scent, her proximity promised safety and shelter. Lily knew that she was her mother, and with her, she was safe, down to her bones. That must have been her dragon side, that reptilian other that she hadn't gotten to know fully yet, but could feel it ever since she crossed the town line and met her mom, simmering, sleeping, just beneath her thoughts.
Maleficent was a step behind her as they walked into the gym and immediately scanned the room. Lily guessed who she was looking for and sure enough, as soon as she caught sight of Emma and Regina she moved across the room. As scary powerful as her mother might be, it was obvious she loved Lily. And it was just as obvious that she cared - maybe even loved Regina, Henry and Emma, protecting them too as if they were family.
From the way she looked at Regina, the way her mother curled up next to her when Regina had been cold, it was clearly they had a past, which Lily found wasn't nearly as strange as everything else she'd learned. They hadn't talked about it yet, but whatever their relationship it seemed it was still really important to both of them, and Emma seemed to be okay with it. Whatever their history was, they were close now, comfortable. Which was just another weird part of her suddenly very strange life.
Watching her mom stand close to Regina, reaching up to brush her fingers across Regina's cheek, then turn and talk to Emma, Lily realized she could tell that Regina was still flushed from fever, even across the gym. Lily had never needed glasses in the old world, the world outside of Storybrooke, but here, it was like having whole new eyes. At first she'd thought she had good eyesight, but listening to the way everyone else talked and how slowly they noticed anything she realized her sight was extraordinary. The same was true of her hearing, and her sense of smell: all of her was more alert, more aware, and it had only gotten more noticeable with every day she passed in Storybrooke. Her mother had told her that she would have to learn her senses again, because they were all better than she'd thought they were, but now Lily was beginning to truly appreciate what that meant.
When she really concentrated, her eyes flashed and went gold. Her mom said hers did the same thing, but Maleficent was so good at controlling it that her eyes rarely went dragon. Lily was so distracted by everyone around her that hers kept changing, all the time. She could feel the other her, rising within and filling her with power that probably should have been scary but it just felt good, she felt strong, sure of herself, but not in that weird disconnected way that had happened the few times she'd done drugs or gotten really drunk. Now she just felt like more of herself.
Her mother promised that she would learn to control it, and then looked so sad that she hadn't been able to teach her when she was young, the way Maleficent had been taught. In the few moments of quiet between repairing buildings, Maleficent had told Lily that she had borne her as a dragon, and her earliest memories were of her nest. Learning to be human came later, because it was a different time. Being a dragon had been safer, when Mal was young, because humans didn't dare challenge dragons then. There were many dragons then, and they often lived close to each other in family units. But times changed, and humans grew better at magic, better at killing dragons. It became dangerous to stay together and dragon kind had scattered, growing apart and learning to hide among the humans. Lily had been born a weak, human baby, because no one should have known she was a dragon, no one should have wanted to take a human baby from her mother.
Except that was exactly what had happened.
Lily knew anger, knew its heat and the way it could tighten her muscles and make her palms itch for the shape of a fist. But what rose inside her when she thought about Emma's...about Snow and Charming (she couldn't think of them as Emma's, not now, not after what she'd seen, felt). That anger rose from the same place as the love for her mother, the same place that could scent Regina from across the room and see the gentleness in Emma's eyes whenever Emma looked at Regina. It scared her that anger, because it was deep and old...and deserved. The Charmings had stolen her away from her mother, her family. She knew the scent of them still, after all these years, even across worlds and while she didn't remember their faces, the way they smelled set her on edge.
It was too easy to want to lash out at them - not with fists, it wasn't that kind of quick shallow surface anger - but words. She wanted to tell them what they'd done to her, make them hear all the ways she'd been alone all her life, the confusion and the fear and the way she never truly belonged.
But then she looked at Emma, at the way Emma carried herself - like she was always expecting a fight - she watched with her magically enhanced eyes and saw the agony on Snow's face as her daughter turned her face away and concentrated on Regina, she saw the guilt when Snow looked at her or Mal and some part of Lily admitted that perhaps the people who had done this to her had paid - were still paying.
Not enough though, not yet. And so rather than start something there could be no hope of resolving now, she'd avoided them, not trusting herself to speak with them without demanding answers for the mess they'd made of her life.
It was different with Emma. Thankfully, it was easy to see her as distinct from her parents. Maybe it was just that Lily saw more now, or maybe she was truly grateful to Emma for coming and finding her, or maybe it was just that more than anyone Lily understood Emma's past and the mistakes they'd both made as children, lost and afraid in a world that wasn't theirs.
Either way it made being around her and Regina easy, comfortable, safe in the same way Charming and Snow were threatening. Regina especially. That other part of her - the dragon that was getting easier to accept with every passing hour and being with her mom - was drawn to Regina, wanted to be near her and get to know her.
Since Emma seemed okay with that, even quietly supportive, Lily silently promised herself she'd try harder to get to know the beautiful woman her mom and Emma cared so much about.
Just as long as the Charmings weren't near by.
They weren't in the gym long this time. As soon as Mal finished talking to Emma (the result of the conversation Emma looking hopeful and Regina scowling) Mal turned and walked back toward Lily. She looked more relaxed than she had earlier almost satisfied, although that might have just been a result of her wearing her own clothes again. They'd made a short stop at Mom's house first thing that day so she didn't have to wear Snow White's gym clothes any longer. Lily hadn't really been surprised that Mom's house was a weird, stone, castle-like place on a cliff top. Either she was so overwhelmed her mind had just shut down, or everything in this place, no matter how weird, was so right that it didn't scare her. Lily resolved to ask her about it but at that moment her mom reached for her, and the question fled Lily's mind as she took Mal's hand and the now-familiar feeling of her mom's magic engulfed them.
They arrived outside a crypt that Mal explained was Regina's vault as she waved her hand and the heavy metal door swung open. They were searching for ingredients for some kind of spell and Lily looked around with fascination. It was kind of ridiculously stereotypical and she almost smiled. Half burned candles, old musty tomes, locked chests. It looked exactly like some movie set.
Her mom wasn't smiling though, but looking through a pile of scrolls with purpose. It wasn't a healing spell, those didn't seem to need eyes of newt or...whatever it was Mal had just pulled out of a jar in the corner and crystals. Whatever this was was more complicated.
"What kind of spell?" Lily asked after Mal had been silent for a moment, staring down at an opened trunk. Her mom seemed to start a little, as if she'd been lost in thought.
"One to ease Regina's sickness," she replied at last.
"But not a healing spell?" Lily wasn't sure why she needed to know but that other part of her pushed, and so she let it. This was something with Emma, and the more Lily thought about it as she watched her mom collect things, the more the idea, as weird as it was, started to come together.
"No this is...different," Mal said.
"So, Emma can ease some of Regina's symptoms, but not make her better, with this spell?" she asked, holding a wooden box as her mom stacked it full of weird dried stuff in bottles.
Mal glanced at her, sharp and then softening. "It's a binding spell, it emphasises their connection, which should ease Regina's reactions to what's happening to her," her mom explained, but it was a non answer. Mom was good at those.
"What kind of magic is it?" Lily wondered, lifting one of the bottles to stare at the shining dust within. "What's this?"
"Sand from the sacred cave of Wonders, don't drop it," her mom said, digging through a cupboard.
"And Regina?"
"What about Regina?"
Lily rolled her eyes, because her mother knew exactly what she wanted to know but wasn't answering that question. "What's making her sick?"
Maleficent studied her. "Her body is struggling with a very powerful kind of magic...for now anyway."
"But Emma can help her?" Lily continued to pry. She didn't understand why this was so important to her, it wasn't just curiosity. Something in her wanted Regina to be okay.
"I hope so," her mother said. She met Lily's eyes and then seemed to come to some sort of decision. Pausing in her search she stepped close, reaching out to brush her fingers over Lily's cheek, her expression sad. "Regina's condition can be very difficult, if managed alone. With a partner, a mate, it'll be easier on her, and the risk will be lessened." A flicker of a smile crossed her lips and then she was moving again, picking up a last small leather bound book and walking toward the stairs.
Lily followed her mother out of the vault into the wreck of the forest. Trees lay everywhere, some fallen on the vault, some blocking the trails: it was a good thing they didn't walk. "Risk of what?"
Mal stopped, her shoulders dropping slightly and Lily heard her sigh. When she finally spoke, her voice was cracked and rough and when she turned back to Lily, her eyes shone with unshed tears. "The risk of losing her child."
Somehow Lily had known, things clicking into place.
"Regina's pregnant?" but the question was just a formality.
Mal nodded. "You've smelled it already."
"She smells like Emma," Lily answered, strangely unsurprised that two women could make a magic baby. In a world with dragons and fairies, she was just going to accept it and move on, and honestly the way those two looked at each other Lily couldn't really say it was much of a shock. "I thought that was because they fucked, a lot."
Her words startled a laugh from her mother, the sound both sharp and deep and Lily smiled because she hadn't heard that before. She'd always remembered her mother as beautiful, but intangible somehow, not quite real. In person, she was more visceral than anyone had a right to be.
"That might be the case, but it's more than that, isn't it?"
Lily knew that was a 'use your dragon senses' question, so she closed her eyes and pushed away everything but the scent of Regina, and the strangeness in it. She was covered in Emma, as most couples seemed to be wrapped in each other, but that wasn't it, there had been something else, like new earth, or the first tender flames of a bonfire. What would be part of both of them and new?
It hit her like a falling branch. That was what pregnancy smelt like? That strange newness, and blood and water.
"That's what that is?" She asked, staring at her mother. "I thought-" Lily stopped, shaking her head, "Actually, I had no idea what that was."
"It takes time to know what your senses tell you, but yes, that is what pregnancy smells like," her mom said, reaching for Lily's shoulder and beaming with pride. "And?"
"Emma's the dad? I mean, the other mom, the-"
Now Mal's chuckle was soft and understanding. "It's exceptionally rare among humans but magic allows for the creation of life in ways more varied than those thought traditionally possible," Mom explained, toying with the sleeve of her shirt.
"But people don't get all feverish when they're pregnant. I mean, the throwing up makes sense, but why-" Lily trailed off, trying to make something out of a whole mess of facts that didn't have any logic to them at all. "Magical pregnancy is harder than the regular kind?"
"Creating life with flesh and blood is difficult and precarious enough, adding magic makes it rare and even more difficult. The child will demand a great deal of Regina, and because life - the creation of life with magic is...chaotic" Mal's smile was wistful for a moment and Lily had a feeling that was a memory she shouldn't ask about. "It's in...flux. Though the baby will be human, it's not the same as a child born of seed and blood. This is magic, and there is always a price to be paid." Mom looked so sad in that moment that Lily wanted to reach out and hug her, but her arms were full of supplies. It lasted only a moment though and then Mal wiped her eyes dry and her face moved into a funny sort of lopsided grin as she stared at Lily with such incredible tenderness. "It can be brutal, but it's worth it."
Lily knew then that her mother was talking about her own experience, knew what it was like to be pregnant through magic. Which just served to raise a whole lot of new questions. Did that mean she had another mother? She'd already started to wonder who her father was, but if her mother had been pregnant through magic, then she had another mother. "So I wasn't some kind of draconic one night stand?" Lily wondered aloud, then stopped, realising that her mom might take that the wrong way. "I don't mean-"
Mom looked down, just for a moment, then crossed her arms over her chest. "When you were conceived, I was very much in love, as was she, I believe, but circumstances were...not in our favour." Mal opened her mouth as if to say more then shook her head, gesturing into the woods, back towards the town, ending that part of the conversation, at least for the moment. "Ready?"
Lily nodded, getting closer so that they could teleport together, then she stopped, holding the little box close to her chest. Mom had confirmed what she thought, she had another mother, and Lily was fairly certain that she knew who her mother had to be. They had the same hair and the same eyes. "She never got to cast this spell for you, did she?"
"No," her mother replied, and then her hand rested on Lily's back, warm and comforting. "But I regret no part of that experience, even being ill, because I had you, and I wanted you more than I've ever wanted anything."
Lily couldn't look at her for a long time, and even when she did, it still didn't seem real. "Me?"
"Yes, you," Mom answered, her face all soft and full of affection that Lily didn't deserve. Putting aside the spell ingredients for a moment Mal reached up and cupped Lily's face, kissing her forehead softly. "So very, very much. Never doubt that." Her words, her touch, it was so gentle, Lily felt the sting of tears at the corners of her own eyes and sniffed wetly.
Mal seemed to understand it was almost too much because she pulled back, picked up her things and continued. "Regina's only human, though, so if we can spare her the brunt of this experience, it would be a blessing."
Nodding, Lily took another step closer, then her mother wrapped one arm around her, pulling her close again, making her feel so safe and protected. Still together, her mother teleported them away, back to the gym.
This time when they returned to the gym, surrounded by all the strange people who lived in this odd little town, she took in the scents, concentrating harder and trying to let her other mind sort them out. Regina had her own familiar scent, dark and rich, almost like cinnamon, and Emma, bright and bold, and the melding of them together, like rain and smoke and the breeze off the ocean. It was comforting somehow, seeing them together, like this was how they belonged. It made Lily smile. Emma Swan, the girl she had known so long ago, had finally found her family. Someday soon, she and Emma were going to have to talk but for now Lily was content just to watch. She had her mother now, had proof that she had always belonged somewhere and always been wanted and while she couldn't forgive Emma's parents yet, for a little while, this was enough. She was glad to see Emma so happy. The girls they'd been...Lily remembered so much fear and loneliness in Emma's eyes, it was good to see it gone.
Letting her mom lead through the crowd, Lily followed while she tried to make sense of the nuances in the way Regina smelt. There was a sharp scent too, something not like sulphur, not like the harpies, but still wrong somehow, the way the wounded had smelled wrong yesterday, beneath the heaviness of blood. Was that illness? Inflammation? She just didn't know enough to be able to tell.
Regina and Emma sat together at one of the long cafeteria tables, Henry beside Emma, with some of other residents across from them. Emma's parents were gone, probably back in their home, which made it easier to be around the strangers. Her mother insisted that for the most part these were good people, and they were Regina's, so Lily would trust them, as much as she ever trusted anyone, which was not much. Still it was more than she had given people out in the other world. Strange to realize she was already thinking of the place she'd grown up and lived her whole life as the 'other' world. Strange but right.
This was home, these people and this town and her mother. Even Emma in a way.
Her mother sat down next to the oldest woman, Granny, whom she seemed to get along with, because she'd let her close when she was wounded. Lily put the wooden box of spell components to the side, by Emma and Regina's things. She could have sat down, looked at the maps with everyone else and talked about the streets that still needed clearly, and the power lines that they needed to replace, but she didn't know how to use magic to fix any of them yet, so she was kind of useless.
Instead she looked around the gym, watching people settle down in little groups and get comfortable for another night outside of their homes. It was almost peaceful without the storm raging outside. With the street lights mostly out, the stars had been visible in the woods. When they turned out the lights, they'd probably be able to see them in the windows. She'd had a place to sleep all of her life, but it hadn't felt right, hadn't felt like home. Somehow, as weird as this was, this did.
Deciding that she could find something useful to do, Lily spent some time folding blankets and moving the mats and cots around so everyone was less crowded in together, and that their temporary places were a little nicer. Belle and Mulan had strung ropes up, so they could hang some of the spare blankets to make walls, and give everyone a little privacy. Maleficent's house had been mostly intact, but the roof had been wrecked, so they were staying here tonight too. Although, Lily knew Mal could have fixed the roof easily, she suspected they would stay here until Regina, Emma, and Henry could go home. Mal's protectiveness of Regina suggested things to Lily about her own past, and she decided to try and talk to Regina later.
She had a feeling her life was about to get even crazier.
After dinner, Emma and Henry joined the dish-washing detail, and Lily noticed that it was only after a quiet argument with Emma that Regina stayed behind. She sat for awhile by herself in the now walled off section of the cafeteria that was their own, trying to look irritated but mostly just looking tired and that other part of Lily she was still trying to understand ached dully at the sight. Lily tried to concentrate on Henry's book of fairy tales again, because he promised it would all start to make sense eventually - or at least look at the pictures so she'd start to have a better idea of who was who - but Regina was so close that the singed metal smell was strong. She looked so worn from the day that Lily wanted to go tell her to stop worrying and go to sleep. Even without Lily's superior senses, anyone could have noticed that the circles under her eyes were dark, her skin too pale and her cheeks too pink, and she yawned as if the violence of it was the only thing keeping her awake.
Finally unable to stand it, Lily picked up the book and her courage and crossed the blanket-strewn area to Regina's side. Dark eyes came up to meet her instantly and Regina smiled. It was a careful smile, sad and happy all at once and that something inside Lily pushed a little more, urging her forward even though she had no idea what she was doing or why she needed so badly to be close to Regina. "Can I uh, can I ask you some stuff, about the book? About why are so many things missing?" she asked, clutching the book in front of her like a shield. Regina's eyes flickered to it and an unreadable emotion crossed her face before she looked back up at Lily. "It's just, I've been through it twice now and Belle, Mulan, Ruby and Granny, they're all in here, but my mom's only a villain in Aurora's story, and I'm not in it at all. Neither is Henry, and I thought that he'd definitely be in here because he's your son, and this book is a lot about you, but he's not," Lily trailed off, trying not to show just how nervous she was.
Regina just smiled gently, though, and patted the mat next to her. She had a blanket around her shoulders again and her hand almost trembled, probably from exhaustion, but she looked at Lily with such intensity and she seemed truly glad to have Lily here, so she stayed. "Let's say that version is a highly edited one. What did you want to know?"
"Before I bug you with everything, should you be resting?" Lily asked before she sat. She didn't know for certain why she wanted so badly to protect Regina, or why it bothered her that she looked so small, but a suspicion that had been growing in her mind, maybe from the very first moment she saw Regina, was getting stronger. Even if she was wrong, Regina still wasn't well, and might need to be sleeping instead of answering Lily's questions.
"I'm fine," Regina said, and Lily recognised the steel behind her words. Even if she did need to rest, she probably wasn't going to. Regina had that in common with her mom. And Emma. Lily sat.
She wasn't even that close, but as if her sitting down was a signal, that thing, the other inside her surged, pushing up against her ribs, warm beneath her skin. She couldn't feel her eyes glow, but the light in the room was suddenly a little brighter, everything a little sharper and she guessed that they were now gold. It was like that other part of her wanted something just beyond reach of Lily's understanding. It made her ache, curling in on herself, holding the book tight to keep her hands from shaking as a faint glow of light outlined her fingers.
"Shit," she swore, trying to pull away from Regina a little. "Sorry," she muttered, putting the book aside and clenching her fingers into fists. The glow faded.
"Don't be," Regina said softly. She reached for Lily, then pulled back her hand, almost as if she too was afraid. "Magic is hard to control, even if you've learned it. You've stumbled into yours, that's no reason to be ashamed."
"It's like having another person inside of me, but I can't tell what she wants," Lily said, looking down at her now normal fingers. The room was still too sharp, which meant her eyes were probably still weird, but Regina didn't seem concerned. Instead she licked her lips and looked up at Lily before cautiously reaching out. She moved like she was afraid of being rejected. Lily had seen that fear in the eyes of a lot of kids, hell she'd seen it in the mirror and some part of her balked at Regina feeling that way for any reason. Not quite sure what she was doing but knowing she had to do it, Lily held out her hand, meeting Regina halfway and threading her fingers together.
The response was instant. That warmth, that magic inside her rose up, humming and bright, reaching outward toward Regina like...like this was supposed to happen, like this should have happened all along...like they were part of each other.
Lily stared into eyes that were dark and warm like hers, the words stuck in her throat even though she knew, she knew.
"What's it doing?" she managed instead, embarrassed to hear her voice crack under the weight of emotion.
It helped that Regina didn't seem to be doing much better. Her eyes were wide and shining and her hand gripped Lily's tightly. "Maybe," her voice broke and she swallowed. "Maybe your magic just wants to help," Regina replied, so gentle and cautious. She shut her eyes for a moment, and her forehead went smooth, as if her pain had faded for a moment.
"Does it want things? Does yours?"
"It's more complicated than wanting," Regina started to explain, but she stopped, winced, then swallowed.
Lily shifted, moving closer. She'd seen that look on Regina's face before, but Emma had always been there to take care of her. The bathroom wasn't that far away, but throwing up was always annoying as fuck. "What can I do?"
"I'm okay," Regina insisted, but her eyes were still screwed shut and she started to shift her weight, preparing to get up.
Maybe it was the dragon part of her that surged out of her fingers. Lily wasn't sure what it did, or what she was trying to do, only that she was healthy, and had magic to spare, and that Regina's was unsettled, like her stomach. She'd never been able to help anyone, not like this, not by instinct or lifeforce or emotion, whatever magic was, but part of her knew Regina, was connected to her, had the same magic…
Regina's eyes opened, and Lily kept staring at her, watching. It was impossible, because Regina was what, thirty-five? Forty, tops and she couldn't have been, but she was Lily's mother. Lily's dragon side knew that, felt that, could connect to Regina somehow.
"You're my mother, aren't you? My other mom, the one my mother loved a long time ago." Lily stumbled over the words finally tumbling out of her, and it was like she could breathe again.
The hand holding hers squeezed, hard, but Regina just nodded. Her eyes shone, already red-rimmed as if she had cried earlier and Lily hated to think she might be making Regina upset but then she was smiling and oh. Wow, she was pretty when she smiled. Regina smiled like Mom, like she might just burst, happy and sad all at once and Lily didn't really know what to do with this, two parents who so obviously loved her.
Honestly, the magic was easier to accept.
A part of her wanted to get up and run away, to hide somewhere dark and quiet and just shut everything out until she could make it all make sense: Emma and this town and Henry (her half brother? brother by adoption?) the Charmings, Ursula and Cruella and her mothers. Both of them. Who'd wanted her her whole life, while she'd been alone.
"You can feel that?" Regina asked, her voice rough and cracked. "I thought we should wait, give you time..."
Lily laughed weakly, shrugging. "I smelled it. I wasn't sure what it was, but it makes sense, not to me, but to the other me, dragon-me? That's still so weird."
"I'm sorry," Regina said, twisting her hands in front of her on the blanket. "I should have-"
"You've had a lot going on." She put her hands on the blanket next to Regina's and she- her mother- reached for Lily's fingers. Regina's skin was too warm, still feverish. "Mom said- I mean, my other mom, said that magical pregnancy is hard, and you've been dealing with it without Emma knowing how to help you, and that's a big thing. Being pregnant and having your magic all fucked up-"
"I still should have told you," Regina interrupted, her voice soft and sad. "It's just," Regina looked down, almost uncertain and Lily - even though she'd only known Regina for days - knew this wasn't something that happened much, Regina Mills uncertain and worried. "We just. You wouldn't remember me and I know it sounds so crazy, on top of magic and dragons, you have two moms, and Mal- I- we didn't want to risk overwhelming you. We couldn't lose you. Not again." The last was said hard and urgent, all the hesitation gone from Regina's body
Lily let the idea float in the forefront of her thoughts. Regina was her mother. She'd known that too hadn't she? She trusted her so quickly when she usually trusted no one. "Having two moms, that's the part where I run screaming?"
Regina gave her a wry smile. "You remember Mal, you knew her. I never, we never, had that chance." The sorrow on her face made a knot in Lily's stomach.
"Something happened with you and mom?" Lily asked, then answered her own question, looking down at the book. "It was the curse, wasn't it?"
Regina looked down at the book too, eyes darkening and mouth pulling down into a hard line. She nodded, not lifting her eyes. "She thought it was too dark, even for someone like us, that casting it would leave a hole inside me. She tried to stop me, even fought me. I didn't listen."
Lily had read the book's version, seen the pictures, but it just didn't add up in her mind. Not now anyway. The woman in front of her wasn't cold hearted or hellbent on revenge. Regina was kind and generous and so obviously loved her family in a way that would have made Lily achingly jealous once upon a time when she was alone. Now it just took her breath away, made her hunger to be part of it even as she somehow knew that she already was. No matter what the pictures in a book said, she could never see Regina as evil. Besides, Lily had just had massive, irrefutable proof her instincts had been right her whole life.
"The woman in the book, this evil queen, she's not you," she said quietly.
"She's who I was," Regina replied.
Lily shook her head. "No, she's not. Besides," Lily smiled bitterly, thinking of her own past, thinking of Emma. "We've all done things, hurt people.
"Not like that," Regina said, but seemed to appreciate the sentiment. A comfortable silence settled between them and Regina eased back against the wall. She didn't look like she needed to throw up after all, at least, not at the moment and while the sharp, burnt metal smell was still present, it was softer, as if Lily's magic had helped a little.
It didn't last long though. And a moment later Regina grimaced, pulling her hand away from Lily's to hold her stomach. Lily tried to call up her magic, to make it be useful, but she didn't know what she was doing. "Mom- other mom- said it'll get better," Lily promised when her magic didn't seem to want to cooperate.
Regina kept her eyes on Lily, her expression softening as if she was enamoured with just the sight of her. "She's been known to omit certain truths when it suits her."
Maleficent been sick for much of her pregnancy, Lily knew. She hadn't been specific, but Lily had an idea that it had been pretty awful. Regina knew that too, and maybe, just like Maleficent, she'd bear it, because she was a mother and that was what they did for their children.
"So you and her?" Lily wondered aloud, trying to distract Regina from her nausea.
"We were different, then, both of us," and the slight smile, just a little bit wicked when she said 'different' suddenly Lily remembered the book, corsets and cleavage and eyeliner. Huh. So her moms knew how to party. She was going to have to not think too hard about that. "She's still very important to me, but - " Regina trailed off and looked across the gym and Lily knew without turning that her eyes had found Emma.
"I know," Lily assured her, reaching for her hand again and letting Regina take her fingers. "It's weird but...kind of seems right? You and Mom and Emma. Mom said she thinks Emma's great for you, that you're really happy now."
They were both silent for a moment and then Lily spoke hesitantly. "She is too, you know." At the confusion on Regina's face she continued. "Emma. She's really happy. I've never seen her like this before. I mean I know she's worried but...she wasn't happy when we were younger."
Something dark and achingly sad flickered across Regina's face for a moment but it was gone as soon as she turned her attention back to Lily. "And you're...are you okay with this?" Regina asked, her voice so soft and careful. Lily heard the fear there and shrugged, smiling and squeezing Regina's fingers.
"Its weird. And it's a lot to take in but...yes? I've never...my whole life I never fit anywhere. I always felt like my skin belonged to someone else this. This feels like home." She grinned, softening her words when she saw the pain in Regina's eyes at the mention of her past. "Really, really weird home where I'm a dragon and my mom is dating my best friend but yeah. I really think I'm okay."
Regina let go of her hands and reached for Lily's hair, toying with a curl of it. "Welcome to Storybrooke," she whispered, and Lily returned her smile without any kind of hesitation. "My hair's more work than Mal's."
Lily shrugged. "I don't look good blonde. so it's probably a good thing that I got yours."
Regina's fingers stroked her cheek, and there was something so maternal in her smile, just like the way she looked at Henry. "You're so beautiful."
"You have to say that," Lily joked, but her throat tightened. She'd seen how much Regina loved her son, and having that focused on her was more than she knew how to deal with. "But thanks."