Chapter Five

Jasper

We travelled steadily northwards and Garrett and Alice became more of a couple, perhaps they were headed for life as mates, who knew. He was certainly more mellow and very affectionate towards her although I was unsure how she felt about him. I had the strangest feeling she was toying with him and I didn't like that but there was little I could do. Her emotions were confusing, as if more than one or two were swirling around in her head at the same time, fighting with each other. I expected that when in a certain situation you may be scared and intrigued at the same time, or something like that, but this was when she was at least superficially calm. Garrett told her his life story and she'd already heard of me so I just filled in a few gaps then we asked her for her own history.

"Come on Alice its your turn now"

She allowed Garrett to tease her into talking about herself.

"I don't remember anything about my human life or my transformation, I just woke up in the dark a vampire. So you see, I don't have a story"

She was lying and she knew that I knew it, but I didn't say anything.

"So what did you do when you woke up?"

"I found my way out in the dark, away from the room I was in and out into the night. I learned to hunt by instinct and watched the humans around me, learning to mimic their ways. I found I could see the future so I made sure I was in the right place at the right time and found everything I needed that way."

"You worked for humans?"

"I found things for humans. Things they'd lost, family members, animals, money, and they gave me presents in return."

I doubted it had been as easy as she made out but I kept silent as she continued.

"I hated taking human life so I tried living on animal blood but it was hard, I think with others around me doing the same I could stick to it. After all we all need help don't we?"

The closer we got to our destination the happier Alice became, as if she saw everything would turn out well for her, but I wasn't sure it would work out for me, so I decided to question her about my future when Garrett went off on his own to hunt. It was something he very rarely did now, leave Alice alone with me. She knew what I was going to ask of course.

"Why don't you trust yourself Jasper?"

"Trust myself?"

"Yes, you don't think you can stick to a vegetarian diet do you?"

"I have no idea but like you I think it will be easier around others doing the same thing"

"I know Daisy told you something about your future, I also know she told you to go back to your friends but you ignored her. Why?"

"I met Garrett, we got talking and just headed out together"

"You're going to have a very interesting future Jasper but it wont be easy. There's a lot of darkness still to come"

"Alice I'm a son of darkness so I don't expect it to disappear soon, if at all.

"I don't think you should go to Forks...not yet."

"Oh why? Would you rather it just be you and Garrett?"

She laughed and it lit up her face for a second, she was very beautiful.

"Jasper there is no Garrett and me"

"He thinks there is and you encourage it, why?"

"I like him, I need someone to love me and Garrett does"

"But you don't love him?"

"I don't know, what is love Jasper? What does it feel like?"

"You're asking the wrong person Alice but I think it fills you with warmth."

"He makes me feel warm."

"Would you die for him?"

"What kind of a question is that?"

"I understand that's what happens when you love someone. There's nothing you wouldn't do to keep them safe."

"I don't think I like love then. If it takes you over like that. Someone else being more important than yourself?"

"Why did you lie before?"

"Lie?"

"About your past, you do remember don't you?"

"Does it matter?"

"It obviously does to you."

"My human past isn't important."

"I think its very important Alice, you're hiding something."

She got up rounding on me with eyes blazing,

"Mind you're own business Jasper, I don't have to tell you anything, why are you so nosy? Do you want to control me? It wont work you know, it never does."

We both heard Garrett coming back at the same time and she was quicker than me, running towards his footsteps shouting his name with panic in her voice,

"Garrett help me"

He strode into view and picked her up holding her close before looking over at me.

"What's going on?"

Alice sobbed dryly

"He keeps hounding me about my past. I told him I didn't remember but he wont listen, he was getting really angry with me. I thought he was going to attack. I was so scared, he's too strong for me."

What could I say that my friend would believe? Especially when he saw her tragic face, big eyes staring adoringly at him and her top torn across the breast, she must have done that as she ran. He put Alice down and stepped slowly towards me a growl growing in his chest. I didn't want to fight him, not because I couldn't win, I was pretty sure I could, but he was a friend manipulated by Alice. I backed away and she spoke again,

"See, he's feeling so guilty he's running from you"

I glanced at her once more then turned and ran, hearing his footsteps fade as I lost him, I was definitely faster. I had no idea why Alice had turned on me but I thought it had something to do with questioning her past. That's when her emotions had started to go wild. What was she hiding? I guess it didn't matter any longer, I was alone again and I couldn't go to the Cullens while Alice and Garrett were headed there. I sat down on a fallen tree to decide my next move, I guess back to Peter after all but it seemed so far as I got up and started to make my way back south alone. I travelled by night hunting only when necessity forced me and hid out during the day not wanting to see anyone else. I avoided other nomads trails, I felt so depressed and worthless I even considered going back to Mexico. It would mean my death but I wasn't sure I cared any more. I made one decision at that point, if Peter and Charlotte weren't there or didn't want my company I would make the last journey to see Maria, knowing it would be the end and being too tired to fight depression any longer.