Thanks again for all the reviews and follows :)

That is the last angsty chapter, I promise :)
The next one is also half done, so i think I can post it soon.

It was already late when Nick arrived back at the loft. The one beer he had allowed himself to drink at the bar, had turned into more than one and on top of that, he had a few whiskeys.

He stumbled into the living room to make himself coffee and drink a lot of water in order to sober up a bit, but he froze at the door, when he saw that Jess was sitting on the couch, reading a book. It was probably not a good idea to get caught in a condition like that. The atmosphere between them was still tense.

He was about to leave the room, but it was too late. "Nick?", he heard her voice.

"Oh!", he grimaced and turned around.

She frowned. "Oh?"

"I wanted to go...", he pointed to his room and tried hard to let his voice sound normal.

Obviously not hard enough, because she narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Are you drunk?"

"Hmm...little bit", he admitted.

"Seriously Nick?!", she sounded pissed.

He raised his hands placatory. "It was a frustrating day. I wanted to find a new job", he explained, stumbled to the couch and sat next to her, "But nobody wants me"

"Of course not. Look at you", she pointed at him, "You look homeless"

He actually didn't look THAT bad, but Jess was mad, so she exaggerated a bit.

"Well, I probably will be soon", he let his head drop on the back of the couch and looked at the ceiling.

Jess rolled her eyes. "That's ridiculous. You'll find a new job. You can't give up that fast..."

"Sure Jess", he grumbled, "I just have to believe in it and everything will be fine", his voice was filled with sarcasm, "And maybe if I'm a good boy, the blue fairy will come and fulfill all my wishes. Because this is how it works"

She just shook her head annoyed and looked back into her book.

Nick turned his head and watched her. She did look like she came out of a fairy tail though. Her flawless face, her pale soft skin, her long hair. She could pull off a princess anytime. Whereas when he thought about a prince, only one person came into his mind.

"Russel would make a perfect shining prince"

Jess looked at him with a frown. "What?"

"He seemed pretty jealous the last time we saw him", the alcohol in his blood was still playing with his mind, "You know, on our date", he quoted that word with his hands", to which I was too stupid to ask you out properly"

Her eyes narrowed. "Where is this conversation going?"

"I don't know", he spoke in a slurred voice, "I'm just saying. He's the man, Jess"

"The man for what exactly, Nick?", she asked, her voice alarmingly low.

He didn't answer. The thoughts he had had early in the bar still haunted him. What if Jess really wouldn't be happy with him in the long run? He really had not much to offer.

"Maybe you should call him", the words just slipped out of his mouth and even so he was pretty drunk, he immediately knew, that it was a big mistake.

The expression in her face froze and her eyes became bigger and watery. "What?"

Nick shook his head quickly. A bit too quickly, because the room started to twirl. He closed his eyes and pressed his fingers on them. "Jess, I didn't mean it like that..."

But Jess was already on her feet. "You are such a coward Nicholas Miller", she yelled at him, while a few tears were making their way down her cheek, "If you wanna break up with me, just do it! Don't casually bring up my ex"

"No", Nick jump up and wanted to follow Jess, who was running away, but the room started to spin again. He clung to the couch to not loose balance.

"Jess, I don't want to break up with you", he yelled but she was already in her room.

He walked over there slowly and knocked. "Please Jess. Come out"

She didn't answer.

For a moment he stood there debating with himself if he should just go in there. When they got together, they made a few rules because of their odd situation of being roomates and boyfriend and girlfriend. One of them was to respect a closed door.

He really wanted to talk to her, but he was afraid it wouldn't help the situation, if he broke this rule. So he went back to the living room and placed himself on the couch. She had to come out sooner or later.

"Wake up...Nick..."

"Nick..", he heart a voice coming from a far distance and his mind started to wake up slowly.

"Nick...", he heart it again and shortly after that he felt something bump against his stomach.

He tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, because it felt way to early.

"NICK", the sound was louder now. Followed by another bump which was also firmer.

He gave up, opened his eyes slowly and looked directly into Schmidt's eyes, who was standing on top of him, one foot next to his body, the other one hovering over his stomach.

"Ahh...what are you doing?!", Nick yelled in shock and straightened up quickly. Schmidt, who was still standing only on one foot, lost his balance because Nick crashed into him and fell backwards, almost landing on the floor.

"What the hell man!", Schmidt complained.

"What the hell yourself", Nick shoot back and rubbed his eyes, "What where you doing?"

"You didn't wake up and you seemed all dead. I had to check if you're still alive", Schmidt explained.

Nick turtle faced. "By kicking me into my stomach?"

"Of course! I don't want to touch a carcass with my hands. I can handle being near one. Thanks to your dad. But that's enough."

Nick just rolled his eyes. It was definitely to early for Schmidt's craziness.

"Jess is gone. I thought you might want to know that", Schmidt suddenly said.

Nick's movement froze and his eyes widened. "What?!"

The memory of the last night came back. It was a bit blurry, but he remembered his stupid comment about Russel. After that he must have fallen asleep on the couch before he got the chance to talk to Jess.

"I don't know what you did again, but Cece just informed me that I can't come over the next days because Jess is sleeping at her place", he exhaled, "Nicholas, I really have to tell you, that I can't tolerate..."
Nick jumped of the couch before Schmidt could finish his sentence, trying to ignore the dizziness in his head caused by the alcohol from last night. He stormed into Jess's room and looked around. There were clothing missing, her IPod wasn't there and the bag, she kept in her closet wasn't there either. His stomach clutched. She really was gone.

He ran his hand through his hair and walked around in the room with a helpless expression on his face. He had to bring her back. But what if she wouldn't come back? He really messed up last night. What if she was done with him? His heart hurt only by thinking about it. But wasn't that what he wanted? For her to get rid of him and get someone who could give her what she deserved? He shook his head. No. That couldn't be the solution. He didn't know what was, but Jess not being in his life, definitely couldn't be the solution. It would kill him! He had to talk to her.

He hurried out of her room and towards the door.

"Please take a shower before you leave", he could hear Schmidt yelling from the living room, "Whatever your plan is, I can assure you it will not work if you smell rotten. And you do"

Nick took one last deep breath, raised his hand and knocked against the door. After a few seconds it opened and the tall woman looked at him unpleased.

"Hey Cece", he greeted her nervously.

To be honest, Cece scared him a little bit. He knew she was Jess's best friend and Schmidt's girlfriend again and it wasn't that he didn't like her, but he just never got really warm with her. Probably because they had nothing in common. Also he didn't trust people, who don't eat.

"Hallo Nick", she hissed at him.

"Is Jess here?"

"Yes", she said but still blocked the door.

"Can I talk to her?"

"No"

Nick sighed. "Come on, Cece"

She didn't respond and instead just looked at him with cold eyes.

"Please", he tried again, "I really have to talk to her"

"Okay fine. But don't make it worse or I'll make sure that the other side of your face gets a shiner too"

Nick gulped and nodded quickly, so Cece stepped aside and let him in.

Jess was sitting on the bed behind a fort of pillows and blankets. She had headphones in her ears and was humming along the song. Her head was faced towards the window and there was a thoughtful expression on it. Her eyes were red and puffy. She must have cried. She looked so small and lost in this pile of pillows. A warm but also weirdly painful feeling spread through his body. He just wanted to go over there, take her into his arms and never let go.

He entered the room slowly to not scare her, but she jumped up anyway, when she noticed him.

She pulled out the headphones. "What are you doing here?"

"I...", he started and walked towards her, but she went backwards and then body-swerved him and went to the door and stopped there.

"Please come home Jess"

She shook her head. "No"

"Look", he tried again to walk closer to her, "I'm sorry I was drunk yesterday. It was just this frustrating job hunt. And what I said was stupid. I didn't mean it. And I definitively don't want to break up with you"

She looked at him insecurely but also hopefully.

"Then what do you want? First you disappear, then you come back and insure me that you want the baby, but on the same day you go out and get wasted and then you can't stop rambling about my ex. So what do you want Nick?"

He wanted her to not be mad at him. He wanted her to be happy. But at the moment most importantly, he wanted her back in the loft where she belongs.

"Just come home", he begged.

"If that's all you can say then go!", she pointed at the hallway.

He didn't move. He couldn't go. Not without her. Or at least with the knowledge that she would come back.

Jess's eyes got watery again. "GO!"

"NO!", he yelled, closed the distance between them and grabbed her upper arms.

She winced, but then immediately tried to free herself from his grip. But he was too strong.

"I don't know what to do okay?", he was still yelling and his face had a helpless expression, "I love you so much Jessica!"

She froze instantly and and he realized what he had just said. He actually had never said 'I love you' to her before. Of course he had loved her. Even before they got together. But he was too afraid to say it, because there has always been this voice in his head, which said that she couldn't possibly feel the same. But now was not the moment to make a big deal out of it. He needed to say what he had to say.

"And what I want is for you to be happy and not have to worry about anything. Because that is what you deserve. And I want to give you that. But how am I supposed to do that? I have no money, I have no job, I have nothing! I'm a mess! So how could I be your prince in shining armor? How am I suppose to give you your fairy tail and your rainbows and all that crap? How?! See, I can't even talk about it without calling it crap. I am just not good enough for you"

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and let go of her arms. Jess just stood there. Her eyes wide and her body frozen. A single tear went down her cheek. Nick wanted to wipe it away so badly, but he was afraid she wouldn't let him. Suddenly he felt so exhausted. And defeated.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to yell at you..", he buried his face in his hands and sighed, "I'm gonna leave now"

Jess still didn't say anything so Nick lowered his head and was about to walk out of the door, when he felt her hand on his arms.

"Have I ever given you the feeling that you're not good enough?", she asked in a low voice.

He turned around and looked at her. She looked so sad. "No", he finally said.

"Then why do you think it?"

He shrugged slightly. "I guess it's pretty obvious"

She looked at him for a moment with sympathy on her face, but then she frowned and shook her head.

"NO", she suddenly said in a loud voice, "I will not let you do that. I will not let you ruin us, just because you have issues. I knew what I signed up for when we got together. I know you Nick! And this", she pointed between him and herself, "we...we're good together. Not perfect. But really, really good. And you will not destroy it just because you have a moment of self-doubt. This is not what's gonna happen. So, shut up Nick!"

He just stared at her taken aback.

"I will stay here this night, because it's all prepared for our 'Stupid Nick Miller' themed night. We have ice cream and real food and you know how rare it is, that Cece actually eats something, so I won't cancel that. But I will come home tomorrow after work and we will talk and you'll better be neither drunk nor gone, Miller. Are we clear?"