Chapter Twenty

Jasper

It took me longer than I expected but finally I saw the cabin and collapsed on the porch, physically I was in bad shape I really needed to hunt but mentally I was far worse and I knew it. All I could see was the girls face, Bella. I needed to see her again, when I touched her I felt at peace for just a few seconds. It was a feeling I had to experience again, a feeling that was even better than hunting, it soothed my very soul. In order to see her again though I needed to get a grip on myself. I went inside looking around, no one had been in since I left which was good, it smelled musty so I opened the windows and threw some logs on the hearth and lit them then went through to the kitchen area and grabbed a pail taking it down to the creek to fill it. When I got there I decided the hell with it and jumped in the running water. I watched as the grime swirled away in the cold creek water rubbing my hands over my body and my tattered clothes then stripped them off and let the water run over my naked body, closing my eyes and imagining Bella again. I fantasised hearing her voice again, her arms wrapping around me, pulling me close, the peace filling my whole being and groaned when I realised that's all it was, a fantasy.

Pulling myself out onto the bank I lay back, letting the sun dry my skin, then dragged myself upright and filled the pail taking it back to the cabin and putting it above the fire to heat. While I waited I closed my eyes and thought about Bella again, when I visualized her I could cope, I could feel that phantom peace and then I had a terrible thought, had I really seen the girl or was it just a fantasy born of my sick and dying mind? Had the violence and blood finally broken my link with the real world? If it had perhaps I should just lay here and live in my fantasy until my body too weak to rise any more would just fade away. It was tempting but would The Major give up so easily? The pail of water was boiling so I threw in my ragged clothes and scrubbed them, then used the water to wash myself and my hair. By the time I finished the water was filthy but at least I was clean and that felt good.

My thirst burned so fiercely it was a physical pain but there were no humans around. I remembered Alice's words about the Cullens and their diet of animal blood. Could I live like them? I would try, anything so my mind wasn't obsessed by thirst. I went out not bothering to dress and hunted, finally coming across a set of bear tracks. A bear? Well it was better than nothing so I hunted it down and after a short struggle I over powered it and closing my eyes bit into its neck. The blood spurted into my mouth and I swallowed. It wasn't as satisfying as human blood but there was no pain, no overwhelming fear, and when I drained it completely I felt more in control of myself. I could do this, if all I could do was drink animal blood and dream of the human girl it was some kind of life and better than the never-ending fighting, pain, and terror that had been my life for so very long.

I left my clothes outside to dry in the next days sun and lay on the bed to try relaxing by visualising Bella again but the memory seemed to be fading. I had to find this woman again, I had to see if she were real or if my fevered imagination had finally conjured up someone just for me. The problem was I had no idea where she came from or what her other name was, how could I trace my angel? I had started to see her as my angel of mercy, allowing me respite from the terrible loneliness and hurt that was my usual companion. I wondered whether to contact Peter and Char for their help but why should they? He would probably think I was finally insane and Char would just shake her head and try to comfort me. There was only one person who could comfort me and she may be only a dream.

Peter

Bella Swan continued to impress me, she pushed constantly, worried about The Major and I couldn't figure her out. Char and I went to hunt and she didn't bat an eyelid.

"What does it take to make you flinch?"

"I don't know but when you've lived around vampires and werewolves I guess every thing seems normal."

"Werewolves?"

"Yes, well the guardian wolves of the Quileutes."

"Oh right. So not only were you the girlfriend of a vampire but you had dinner with wolves?"

"No, I went to the fight with the wolves. That's when I saw your Major. Anyway none of this matters. Finding him is the important thing"

I stiffened and sniffed the air,

"Did you bring a friend?"

"What? No"

"Really?"

Bella

He was out of the door before I could think and Char with him and I heard a scuffle and several oaths before they came back, Peter holding a squirming Edward Cullen.

"Do you know this creep? He was listening in"

"Yes this is my ex Edward Cullen. Alice warned me I hadn't seen the last of him yet. Why are you following me Edward?"

"I was worried Bella, you've been acting very strangely since you went off with Jacob Black."

"Jacob Black?"

"Yes Peter that's the name of the wolf guy who took me to the fight. That's where I saw your friend"

"Bella these are human hunters. You are in danger"

"Excuse me Eddy but it seems to me she's in more danger from you than us. She asked to meet us but she doesn't look exactly pleased to see your ugly face. Do you want me to kill him Bella?"

I shook my head,

"No, just go home Edward."

He glared at Peter who'd freed him and straightened his clothes.

"Bella these people aren't good company, come home with me"

He just wasn't listening to me but then he rarely did so I thought I'd try a different tack

"If you don't leave Edward I'm going to ask my friend here to start removing your limbs until you do"

Peter smiled,

"Now that's my kind of girl Eddy."

Edward glared at me,

"Very well Bella but its foolhardy to stay with these savages"

I grimaced wondering how Peter would react to the insult,

"Savage? I don't think I've been so insulted for weeks. Can I pull an arm off? Please? Pretty please Bella? It'll fuse back on. Please?"

I was tempted to nod but reluctantly I shook my head,

"Let him go Peter please, but if he comes back you have my permission to rip as many limbs off as you like."

Edward swore but Peter smiled,

"OK buster get lost"

He pushed Edward out of the room with his foot and I had to giggle.

"Thanks Peter. For everything."

"That's OK Bella. Its nice working with you"

"What happened to the Bella Swan?"

"Hell, after what you just did you're part of the family, you just became an honorary Whitlock"

For some reason that made me feel really good.

"Right, well now we're all properly acquainted I guess we should start tracing The Major"

"Can you do it?"

"If he hasn't done anything stupid then yes. Of course its a lot easier if he's in trouble"

"Why?"

"Lets just say I get a gut feeling when there's trouble and it always leads to him. So, you coming along for the ride?"

"Hey its my truck remember"

"I think we might need something a little more reliable off-road, no offence, but if he's around it wont be in a town or city."

Charlotte looked at me slightly puzzled,

"How much did Alice tell you about the danger of finding him?"

"She didn't say much but I understand he's not going to be like the Cullens"

"That's for sure but Bella if he is as bad as you described it might be dangerous for all of us. It doesn't happen often thank God but sometimes a vampire loses it and the only thing that will stop them is death. If he can't control himself any more it may come to that. Are you prepared for it?"

I thought about that,

"No, he hasn't, there's a way of getting him back."

"Really? And you are a specialist of mental health in vampires? I didn't know there was such a person but I'm the first to admit I don't know everything...well maybe an odd thing that's all."

"Peter I don't know how but I know it's not too late, its something to do with the look in his eyes, the feel of his hand on mine"

I knew I'd said something significant when I saw the look that passed between the two of them.

"What?"

"It doesn't matter for now Bella. Give me a while, I'll make some calls. Why don't you and Char go shopping or something"

As Char and I left I got the distinct impression that there were things they didn't want me to know but as long as they were looking to find their friend I was happy.