Once upon a time, in the forest of the Candy Kingdom, Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat were playfully sword fighting in Field Trunks' garden, cutting carrots off the ground and slicing them in mid-air.
"Oh, adventurers and their swords…" Field Trunks, who was watching them from the window of his house said thoughtfully, before telling them, "you ladies, stop horsing around with my carrots!"
" Aw, Field Trunks!," they sighed, disappointed.
"Now, come on over!" he then invited them, "I baked y'all a carrot cake."
Both cheered at the invitation, happy to eat the delicious cake which the recipe was greedily kept by the elephant for decades.
"I'm gonna eat it all before you even GET there!" Fionna warned Cake, laughing and running towards the little brown house.
"Noooooo!" Cake screamed, the sword still in her paws.
Waiting for them to come, Field Trunks was putting his cake on the kitchen table.
"Carrot cake!" Fionna screamed, opening the door.
"Don't let her eat it all!" Cake advised, blocking the human from entering.
"Now, you girls sit down and behave yourselves," the old animal asked of them before gazing a fly on his carrot cake, "oh! Shoo, fly! Get off my carrot cake! Huh! A fly landed on my cake. That's no good."
He then threw dramatically the cake before the girls' horrified eyes.
"Bye-bye."
"Why are you throwing the cake away?" the blonde adventurer asked, sad and hungry.
They soon understood Field Trunks actions as a bunch of flies flew in and flew around the cake, making them groan in disgust.
"Flies wanted it, they can have it," the elephant promised.
"Anyways, don't y'all worry 'cause the new cake is coming in the wag of a lamb's tail," he promised, already opening the oven's door.
"New cake?" they both wondered before cheering.
"Here you are," Field Trunks gave them the cake while the girls were sitting around the table, on chairs quite small for their butts, "Come on, go ahead."
He would not have to told them twice. in a instant, the cake was gone into their guts.
"What you think?" he asked.
"Best carrot cake ever!" Cake shouted, carrot still covering her face.
"Oh, Cake, thank you, but that ain't the best carrot cake," he confessed, humbly.
"What are you talking about, Field Trunks?" Fionna wondered "what can be better than your carrot cake?"
"You ate all the cake…" Cake noticed as she grabbed the empty plate.
"Fionna, what would you do if you could do anything?" he then asked mysteriously.
" Anything?" she repeated before wishing one of her dreams, "well, I'd catch a shooting star, travel to outer space and fight space monsters!"
"I'd carve my face on the moon so the moon would look like my face!" Cake added.
"What would you do, Field Trunks?" the human then asked the elephant.
"I would go pick a carrot," he replied, proudly.
"...Lame," Fionna confessed before being slapped by her best friend, "I'm sorry. I mean, it's just you pick carrots every day."
"This carrot ain't like the carrots that I pick," Field Trunks explained, "they say it's the carrot of carrots; rarest kind of all. Legends call it the Crystal Gem Carrot."
"That sounds awesome!" Cake had to admit after spitting her tea on Fionna.
"Where is it?" she asked, not minding the quite warm liquid on her.
"I've heard that it grows at the deepest end of the Evil Dark Forest," he said.
"Whoo!" she yelled, standing from excitement, followed by Cake's cheers "Field Trunks you gotta go pick that carrot!"
"What? Me? Oh, no I'm just a rusty little elephant. I'm not cut out for adventuring," he confessed, his trunk brushing his mustache.
"Field Trunks!" Fionna called, "This is your dream! Think about eating that carrot with your own mouth."
"Or your trunk," the cat added.
"Imagine the flavor," one started.
"And your satisfied face," the other finished.
"Really?" he wondered, "You think I can handle the Scary Dark Forest?"
"Yeah, and we'll help you," Fionna promised.
"We love you, Field Trunks," Cake confessed, hugging him.
"Okay. I'll do it," he agreed, "Call me... Adventurer Field Trunks."
The trio made their journey to the cursed forest in less than a day, soon reaching the ominous dark trees with faces carved on their trunks.
"I love being so high up from the ground!" the elephant confessed, on top of Fionna's bunny hat.
"Psst, I can take you even higher on my shoulders," the cat proposed, getting taller as she spoke.
"No, Cake," Fionna stopped her, "he has a weak heart."
"Oh, yeah," she recalled before stepping along with the human on a flesh like ground.
"Ewww, why is this ground all squishy?" Fionna asked.
"Whatever it is, I'm liking it," she replied, bouncing her butt onto the ground, "Oh, yeah!"
"I wanna try!," Field Trunks asked.
"Okay," Fionna agreed, putting him down, "I'm cool with you letting you do whatever you want."
"Heeheehee!" he chuckled, walking around, "It's like some cookie dough!"
The elephant then heard a groan behind him. He turned around to see the most beautiful eye with the longest eyelashes he ever saw.
"Oh, hello there," he greeted the eye.
"Uhh," Fionna realized, "Field Trunks, stay away from that."
The Wall of Flesh was suddenly standing, ready to fight the adventurers. It pushed the human and the cat far, letting them both land on the flesh.
"Ugh, you're gonna get it, wall of flesh," Fionna promised before attacking it along with Cake.
"An eye and a mouth," Field Trunks was noticing, amazed, "well, I think I got the perfect thing for him or her... stickers!"
The creature open its eye wild. What did he just say?
"Careful, Field Trunks, this thing is evil," Fionna warned him, still punching and kicking.
"Here's a rainbow sticker," he explained, mindlessly, "and here's a scratch-and-sniff sticker. Smells just like a pickle. Oh, and this one is a holographic unicorn, but it doesn't have a horn."
He put some stickers on the monster.
"Oh, now," he exclaimed as the monster grabbed him, "whatcha doing?"
"Huh? Field Trunks!" the human shouted, fearful.
Fionna then rushed towards her friend, cutting off the wall's arm before it could eat the elephant. Having enough, being wounded, the monster then ran and hid in a tree.
"You better stay in that tree, babe," she warned it, "um, Field Trunks were you putting stickers on that evil monster?"
"Yes, I thought it needed some tender love and affection," he explained before noticing a flying form that looked like a skeleton with wings, "oh, what a pretty butterfly!"
"Field Trunks?" she asked, seeing him followed the creature, "ugh. Cake, I just realized that Field Trunks is old and bonkers. We can't take him through this Evil Dark Forest."
"Nah," she reassured her, "he'll be fine."
"But the monsters?" Fionna argued.
"It's fine. It's fine!" Cake assured
"Are you sure?" she wondered "'cause he has zero adventurer training."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine, he'll be fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine," she reassured her again, flailing her arms.
"Maybe it is fine," she admitted before noticing the elephant disappearance, "Field Trunks?"
"Where'd he go?" the cat asked.
"Field Trunks!" the human called, "We gotta find her, Cake! Field Trunks!"
"Where are you, Field Trunks?"
Deeper into the forest, Field Trunks was picnicking with his new friend, the skelefly, without noticing that, behind him, living signposts where running to get him.
Meanwhile a snail was waving, unnoticed.
"And here's your glass," he explained, taking whisky glasses from his basket, "and here's my glass."
"Field Trunks!" they called once more before seeing their friend surrounded by monsters.
"And here's your sandwich," he offered one of the monsters, who tossed it on the ground, "oops, you dropped it."
"Field Trunks, run!" the human yelled.
"Oh, hey, Fionna," he greeted her as the living signposts turned to see her.
"Time to call your mamas, evil signposts," she warned them, sheathing her words, ready to fight with Cake.
They ran towards the monsters, sliding them one by one, but they were too many.
"Patience, boys," Field Trunks told them as the signposts were almost grabbing him, "there's enough sandwiches for everyone."
The monsters then grabbed the elephant. Fionna hurried to save him but she was blocked by the signposts. She managed to slide through them, holding Field Trunks in her arms to keep him unharmed.
"Oh, Fionna" he chuckled, "what a nice hug."
"I'm not hugging you!" she snapped, still embracing him in order to protect him as the creatures were tearing through her hat and flesh with their wooden arms, "I'm trying to save your life! There's too many!"
"Fionna?!" Cake asked, worried, getting bigger to smash their enemies.
She then hurried to save her friends by getting even larger, putting them on her guts and folding her sides to become a ball. All the evil signposts were eliminated and Cake rolled them to a safer place of the forest.
"Oh, Fionna," Field Trunk admitted, "that picnic was crummier than a big ol' biscuit."
"Field Trunks," she sighed, having scratches all over her face and a black-eye, "I'm all jacked up because of you. Look at my jacked up face!"
"Are you mad at me?" he asked, all sad.
"No, I'm not mad," she admitted, "you're too super-nice for me to be mad at you, and you're a top notch adventurer. Now, let's go find and eat the heck out of that crystal gem carrot together."
As she spoke, a pink creature came to face them. Its snake like arms hissed as it approached.
"Dang it!" the human swore.
"You go fight—I'll keep Field Trunks out of trouble," Cake advised, lifting her arms.
"Awesome," she admitted, letting the elephant to her best friend to fight the beast.
"C-Cake," Field Trunks said, "I think Fionna is getting jacked up again."
"Yeah, Fionna can handle it," she reassured her, "she's 12."
"I think I know a way to help her out," he confessed.
"Uhh, you should stay here, Field Trunks," she argued.
"But I thought Fionna told me that I was a top notch adventurer," he said, "and my adventurer instincts tell me to seduce that tentacle critter with my manly charms and elephant powers."
"Uhh, no way," she disagreed.
Field Trunks did not care if Cake did not agree, after showing her some of his skills, he came towards the creature in order to seduce it. He had put some perfume he had found and his mustache was shining with all the brushing he had done.
"Uh, what are you doing here, Field Trunks?" Fionna asked, still fighting the snakes, being bitten.
"I'm helping you by tempting this girl with my charms," he explained, winking at the creature.
"It's not a girl, Field Trunks!" she argued, 'It's a Snake Armed Ruby Brain Beast!'"
"Even brain beasts get lonely, Fionna!" he said, a perverted tone in his voice.
"Cake!" she called "you were supposed to watch her!"
"He got passed me, honey," she admitted, blushing as her tail was all puffed up, "I tried to stop him, but he overpowered me."
"GET him out of here!" she yelled.
"Huh?" she asked, realizing her mistake.
She hurried to save the old animal, grabbing all the snakes with her paws.
"Fionna, kill it!" she urged.
"I can't find it's magic gem weak spot!" she confessed.
Suddenly, the creature faced the other way, showing its giant gem on its back.
"Oh, there it is," she noticed before rushing to kill it.
"I did it! I helped!" Field Trunks congratulated himself, "I'm the most charming adventurer in the world!"
"Field Trunks! You're not an adventurer!" Fionna had to tell him, "you nearly got yourself killed again! Do you wanna die, Field Trunks?! Is that what you think adventurers do?! Die and make all their friends feel terrible 'cause they couldn't save them?!"
"Whoa, honey," Cake grounded her, seeing tears coming out of Field Trunks' eyes.
"I'm going home now," he agreed, walking away while sobbing.
"Ugh... Field Trunks," she called, feeling so bad for what she said, "Field Trunks!"
"Don't follow me," he asked before walking aimlessly in the forest, tears blurring his sight, "Oh, Fionna... You shouldn't yell at a seniors that just wanna help you."
His thoughts were suddenly cut by what he saw in front of him. Here it was!
"Man, I feel horrible," Fionna admitted, hugging herself as Cake was playing with her sword, "I was only yelling because I care about his safety."
"That's what happens when you care too much, honey," she explained, carelessly.
Her thoughts were cut by Field Trunks' voice. They rushed towards the noise to see from what danger they would pull him off this time.
"Field Trunks!" they called before seeing an orange glow through the trees, "Huh!"
"Fionna," he called as he had stepped on a small field with only one carrot in the ground, "I found the crystal gem carrot."
"You're the man, Field Trunks!," Cake and Fionna cheered.
"Field Trunks, I'm a huge butt girl for getting mad at you," the human confessed, "I'm a huge fart. I was only upset because... I love you and I don't wanna see you get hurt."
"That's precious, Fionna," he said, accepting her excuses, "and I'll accept your apology if you kiss my cheek."
"Uhhhh," she hesitated, not really willing to meet the old man's flesh with her lips, "I don't know, I-"
"Whoa!" Cake stopped her, "come on, kiss his cheek, honey. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."
Whoa!" a voice repeated, "come on, kiss his cheek, honey. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."
"Uhhhh, I don't know…" another replied before coming out of the ground without breaking it.
It was an unformed creature that had two faces, one looking like Cake's, the other, looking like Fionna's.
"A crystal guardian!" the human shouted, "Field Trunks, stay out of the monster battle this time. I don't want you getting hurt."
"Alright, I promise I will."
"Radical!" she cheered before turning to the monster, "back off you!"
"Back off you!" her crystal self repeated.
"Stop copying me! Grrah!" she got mad.
"Stop copying me! Grrah!"
Both ran towards each other, fist first. As they collided, Fionna felt a huge pain overwhelming her body. She put her hand away, suffering.
"Fionna!" Cake called before getting bigger, "Graw!"
"Graw," her crystal version echoed, imitating her.
As their headbutts collided, the cat felt she would get a huge headache. She turned to her normal size.
"She's copying everything we do," Fionna noticed.
"Hey!" Field Trunk noticed the skelefly as he was picking up mushrooms, "it's my butterfly-friend. That's precious."
"Whoo!" Cake noticed as a horde of flying creatures were surrounding the elephant, playing music to make him dance, "shake it, Field Trunks!"
"Whoo! Shake it, Field Trunks!" the guardian echoed before turning into the old animal.
"Gem-clam! Let's beat it up while it's copying Field Trunks!" Fionna adviced, "Yaah!"
Their crystal versions came out of Crystal Field Trunks' butt as they tried to attack it. Both felt on the crystal ground.
"Crud, this is barf girl," Cake sighed.
"Oh, man," Fionna understood, "I'm a total moron! We gotta fight this one Field Trunks style."
"I'll get the staches."
After Cake had found some grass and leaves, along with perfume, they dressed themselves has Field Trunks would, trying to charm the crystal guardian.
"Hey! Crystal Guardian, are you okay with Field Trunks taking a bite of that carrot?" Fionna asked as Cake had taken him by her arm to put him closer.
"I'm okay with it," the cat said.
"I'm okay with it," the creature repeated.
"And I'm stupid."
"And I'm stupid."
"Heh-heh, you heard the guardian, FT," Cake told him, pulling the small but beautiful crystal carrot off the ground, "bite that thing."
"Okay!" he agreed, chewing the vegetable.
"Whoo! How's it taste, Field Trunks?" Fionna asked.
"Yeah! How is it?" Cake wondered.
The old animal made a sour face and seemed to be ready to explain his feelings but, before a single word came out of his lips, he exploded. The two adventurers and the Crystal Guardian looked at each other in shock, not so happy.
Meanwhile, in another dimension made out of Crystal, a laughter could be heard. A new visitor had come, old and naive. His little legs letting him walk all around the dimension as his trunk would touch everything he would reach.
THE END