Once upon a Time, in the Candy Kingdom, Prince Gumball had thrown a huge party. All of the Candy People, along with Fionna and Cake, were dancing.
"Candy Party!" Fionna shouted "Cake! This party is so crazy!"
"I know, Fionna!" she laughed "I know!"
"So, Fionna…" a small Gumdrop Lass boy called, "do you have boyfriend?"
"Oh, my gosh!" his friend, another candy of the same specie laughed, "I can't believe you just said that."
"What a wonderful, marvelous party!" the Punch Bowl said, dropping juice everywhere as small candies were dancing around it.
"Okay. I'm gonna do it," Cinnamon Roll told to herself, then yelled at the crowd, "okay-okay-okay. Everyone watch! I'm gonna do a flip!"
She jiggled, she wiggled, but felt due to her clumsiness and hit her head on a tower wall, cracking it.
"Oh no!" she groaned.
The crack streaked upward toward the balcony where Prince Gumball was dancing, unaware of the danger before the tower began to crumble.
"Prince Gumball's in trouble!" Fionna realized.
She ran towards the tower, bumping into Candy People, who got mad at her. She did not even dare to reply their comments is the prince was still falling towards the ground, screaming, scared to death. Hopefully, Fionna dove towards Gumball and caught him just before he hit the ground. All the Candy People gasped and murmured.
Meanwhile, a snail was waving, unnoticed.
"Please! Calm yourselves, my people," he reassured them, "I am safe! Oh, thank you, Fionna. You truly are my heroine this day."
"Cool," she replied, blushing.
"Heroine…" he started pondering, "Hmmm... Heeeeerroooo-ine... Hey, I just thought of something!"
"Uhh…" she wondered as the prince was leaving her arms, "what'd you think of?"
"I'll show you. Come on! We'll go through my secret entrance," he said before asking of her citizens, "alright, everyone. Turn around."
Candy People and Cake stared blankly at Prince Gumball, clueless.
"Well, turn around" he wispered, "this entrance is secret."
"Oh," they all realized, disappointed and turned around.
"Hurry, Fionna!" he called her as he removed a stone from the tower, sliding inside.
"No way!" she laughed, before entering and putting back the brick.
Led by the prince? Fionna reached a secret room up the tower. It was glowing blue, everywhere.
"Here it is," the pink-haired man said as he took a yellow globe Out of the chest he has been searching through from minutes, "Check it out."
"A magical globe?" she asked.
"No, Fionna," he retorted, "It's what you can see through the globe."
As she grabbed the orb, an image of a book appeared.
"Golly!" she exclaimed.
"Look," he giggled, "see this book?"
"Yeah, I see it!"
"It's called the Enchiridion," he explained, "it's a book meant only for heroes whose hearts are righteous. The book lies at the top of Mount Cragdor, guarded by a girly minotaur. It's waiting for a truly righteous hero to claim it!" he proclaimed.
"Do you think I've got the goods, Gumball?" she wondered, excited, "'Cause I am into this stuff!"
"Yeah, I know. And yes, I do," he confessed.
"Then off I go!" Fionna screamed, jumping out of a high tower window.
"Caaaaaaaaake!" she called as her best friend stretched to catch her.
"Thanks, gal," she said, landing on her back.
"Farewell, Fi— Oh, wait a minute..." the prince said before realizing something and reaching into his belt to pull out a handkerchief and waving it. "farewell, Fionna the human girl!"
"Bye, Prince!" she said before turning to Cake, "You know what time it is, sista?"
"Aaaaadventure time?" she guessed.
"Yeah, man!"
And here they were gone to Mount Cragdor. They walked some miles before reaching its gate kept by a small and plump woman with a key on top of her head.
"Greetings, young heroes to be," she greeted them, speaking quickly, "this mountain is called Cragdor. Its purpose is two-fold: To protect the Enchiridion and to test the hearts of those who seek to possess it. Many noble challengers have entered the temple to pass the grueling trials that lie behind these walls, but no one has ever left here alive or dead! Only the truest most worthy hero can receive the heroes' Enchiridion and walk out these doors again! If it is you, friend, and I cannot say that I am certain, but you are verily welcome to try; However, first you must pass my riddle. My name is Key-per, and duly so, for I carry the key to this door, but all is not how it appears, you see. Or perhaps you do not see at all. Perhaps the key is in you, child, but you cannot use your brawn here. The door is magically sealed."
Before her dialogue ended, Fionna had picked up the woman to put her head into the key-hole and turned her, opening the heavy wooden doors.
"Oh ho! You've unlocked the riddle of the door," she laughed, "brilliantly done, child! Please, reveal to me how you unraveled my clue."
"I just thought you'd look cute stuffed in that lock," she admitted.
"Oh, yes. That's how most people get in," she confessed.
"Bye!" Fionna said, waving at her.
"You've passed the first trial, young heroes, but prepare yourselves!" she told them before thinking out loud, "for there are many trials ahead of you, and each trial is more treacherous than the last."
Cake and Fionna were quite lost on this green mountain, as the cat had to sniff their way to the book, or try at least.
"Enchiridion is…That way," she pointed.
"What?! Honey! You can't smell the book from here!" Fionna argued.
"It's in the castle on top of the mountain," she explained before sniffing once more, "in a room. Wish you had one, huh?"
Suddenly, Fionna heard voices yelling for help.
"This way!" she said, running towards the voices.
"What about the book?" Cake asked.
"It can wait," she retorted, running through the woods, "someone needs our help."
They jumped over brambles. Cake made it and Fionna landed on her face.
"Yo, Fionna," she asked, pulling her face of the ground, "are you alright? Did you get brain damage?"
"I'm fine!" she reassured her, "keep going! We have to hurry!"
Then, they ran into three pixies trapped in a lava pit. Listening only her courage, Fionna reached in and pulled them out.
"I gotcha."
"Thank you for saving us," the red pixie said before his voice became menacing "now we can destroy this old man!"
"La la la-la!" the man tied to a stake sang as the pixies were flying towards her.
"What?!" Fionna snapped.
The pixies zapped the old man with magic and she disappeared.
"Every time you say "what" we'll destroy an old man.," the red pixie warned.
"What?!" she repeated as another old man was zapped and disappeared.
"Every time you say "no" we'll destroy an old man."
"No! Wai…" she panicked as three more old men disappeared.
"Please...Don't destroy...Anymore...Old men," she begged as every word she would say would be the doom of a nice old man.
"Every time you look sad we'll destroy a big old woman!" they warned her.
"Well... Ever since I got the…" the big old woman was saying before being zapped.
"Hey, guys," the red pixie said to the others, "every time she's a big wuss, let's destroy an old man."
" Yeah!" they agreed, laughing as Fionna, distressed, ran away.
" Hey! Back off, you pixies!" Cake interfered, "that kid just saved you ! You should thank her, not destroy old men! Do you even know what I'm talking about? Say thank you! Say... Thank... You."
"Kill him!" the red pixie urgued.
The pixies tried zapping Cake with magic, but Cake twisted her body and grabs the pixies.
"Get back in there!" she said, shoving them back to the lava pit.
The cat walked away to her friend as the pixies were once again screaming for help. She found her by a river, sitting on a rock.
"Hey, Fionna," she called "You okay?"
"No way, honey," she replied with a sad tone, "those old men are destroyed because of me. I'm not righteous. I'm wrongteous. Stupidteous."
"Awww" she reassured her as she watched the rock the human had just thrown ricocheting on the water and on a tree, before sinking, "don't let those pixies and their illusions get you down. They're just pixies and illusions."
"Illusions?" she wondered.
"Yeah, honey. Think. What would regular, old, sweet men be doing wandering the hills of Mount Cragdor?" she asked.
"Maybe they're lost?" she replied with hesitation.
"No way," she laughed, "this place is designed to mess you up. To mess with your head. None of this is real. It's all just trials to test your heroic attributes."
"Hmmm…" she pondered, "Hmmm!"
"Now let's go get that book," Cake urged, getting up.
"Yeah! You're the smartest cat I know, girl," Fionna complimented her.
Her best friend, seeing the human stood up, laughed before being eaten by a giant, an ogre. She was wearing a simple skirt as her long hair was covering her upper body.
"Cake?" she called, "Caaaaaaaake!"
"You cannot pass!" the ogre stopped her.
"Gimme back my friend!"
"No!" the ogre argued as the cat was popping out of the ogre's nostril.
"It's ok, Fionna! I can get out!"
Too bad for her the ogre shoved her finger into her nostril, pushing Cake back inside.
"Let Cake go, or I'll…" she warned, kicking her foot, "I'll kick your foot!"
"It is impossible for you to hurt me!" she laughed.
"Don't worry, honey!" Cake laughed as she popped out of the ogre's ear, "I found another way—oof!"
Once again the ogre's finger pushed her right back inside.
"I'm coming, sista!" she shouted as she started to climb the ogre's leg.
"I think your cat finally fell into my stomach," the ogre said after a long burp, before feeling something going to one of her pocket on her skirt, "Hey... Where'd you go?"
"I got your wallet, girl!" Fionna warned her after having pulled a giant dollar out of it.
She then grabbed the opposite edges of the dollar and glided away on it like a hang-glider.
"No! My big money! Give it back!" the ogre begged, following her.
"Give me back my friend!" Fionna urged.
"But I killed her already!" she confessed.
"Fine," she cried angrily, "I'll give you your dollar. Here's your dollaaaaaarrrrr!"
She then glided back towards the ogre and did a flying kick into her stomach.
"Oof!" the orgre groaned as her stomach rumbled and Cake came out of her mouth followed by a disgusting liquid.
"Cake!" she called, gliding back to her and grabbing her with her feet, "you're okay!"
"Stomachs are weird," she laughed.
Then they were gone, using the dollar to glide. They arrived to the entrance of a stone temple near the top of the mountain.
"Honey! You just flew us all the way to the top!" Cake laughed before sniffing, "wait a minute. I can smell the book right through this door."
"You're under arrest for stealing my dollar!" the ogre was crying in the distance.
"Just a minute, Cake," Fionna asked of her.
She folded the dollar into a paper airplane and launched it towards the ogre.
"Hey!" the ogre yelled, catching the dollar and laughing happily.
"You know what that was? That was righteous," Cake congratulated her.
"Thanks, Cake. Now sniff out that book for me," she urged her.
"You got it!"
Picking up the cat, Fionna made her way through the temps. They arrived into a long hallway with arms holding knives sticking out from the pillars.
"Whoa!" Fionna let out.
"Congratulations, Fionna the human," a raspy voice greeted them out of a purple mist, "you must be truly righteous to have made it this far."
"Thank you."
"Now!" the Dark Witch said as she was revealed, "enter my brain-world, and I will show you some aspect of yourself that you're not entirely aware of."
Everything was dark, everything was gray. It was in a misty area she had landed.
"Where... am I?" Fionna asked.
"For your final trial, slay the beast!" the Dark Witch's voice said, though she was nowhere to be found.
In front of her appeared a heart monster with a scarf. Its left hand seemed to be able to use magic.
"Why? Is it an evil beast?" she wondered.
"Yeeeeessss," she assured, "it's completely evil. Will you slay it?"
"Shoot, yeah. I'll slay anything that's evil. That's my deal."
Then, the beast attacked but Fionna, quicker, dodged and jumped on top of the beast. She punched the monster until it burst, gusting blood as its body felt to the ground.
"Yeeeeessss! You've done well, hero," the voice congratulated her.
"Thank you."
"Now! As one last, last trial…" she said as an small insect appeared, "slay this ant!"
"Is it evil?" she asked, kneeling to get closer to her enemy.
"No! But it's not good either. It's," she hesitated, "uh, neutral. Will you slay it?"
Fionna tried to kill it as she raised her first, but was unable to hurt it, slamming her fist down next to the ant.
"No!"
"If you want the heroes' Enchiridion, then slay this unaligned ant!" the evil voice warned her.
"Never. Never. Never!"
"Uh oh," the Dark Witch said as they came back to the real world.
Fionna rushed towards the witch, hitting her breast. Her dark cloak felt to the ground as a red mist poured out.
"Congratulations, Fionna the human," Key-per said, coming from a door in front of the adventurers, dressed as the Devil, "now you have truly reached…"
"Never!" Fionna repeated, punching the small woman in the stomach.
"Oh, no! Mrs. Key-per! I-I'm sorry," she apologized hearing the woman groaning, "why are you wearing that little devil costume?"
"These are my pajamas," she explained on the ground, "I was getting ready for bed."
A cute girly minotaur came running from the door, which was leading outside.
"Fionna... Cake... You made it!"
"Are you another trial?" the human asked.
"Trial? Oh, no!" she laughed, a hand covering her face, "I'm Girlish Girl, the minotaur."
"The girly minotaur from Prince Gumball's story!" she exclaimed.
She recalled the tales of the pretty but deadly lady that could have defeated any giant without having a single nail broken. The minotaur laughed, fluttering her eyelashes as blush was covering her dimples.
"So, can I check out the Enchiridion? Can I? Can I? Can I?" she begged.
"Yeah. Come on. Let's go check it out," she said, running, "Woohoo!"
Outside, a picnic table had been prepared were old men were waiting for them.
"We've been watching you ladies on our magical viewing globe. Take a seat girls, have some juice. There's grape and apple and the gatekeeper made spaghetti. And... Alright, Fionna. Are you ready for this?" she asked, pulling out an old book while making a small explosion noise with her mouth.
"The Enchiridion!" she exclaimed.
"You deserve it, Fionna," she said, handing her the book.
"Really?" she wondered.
"Yeah, Fionna. You're the goodest of heart and most righteous hero I've seen here. Tenderness, ingenuity, bravery, nard-kicking ability, and when you took that giant ogre's dollar…" she laughed, "oh, man! The Key-per nearly fainted!"
"It's true!" the woman admitted.
"Hey!" Cake laughed, "crack open that book and read something for fun's sake, alright?"
"Oh, yeah," she said as she opened the book to a random page, "Whoa. 'How to Get Kissed by Royalty'?"
"Whoa," Cake giggled, "what'd you just read?"
As that instant, Prince Gumball appeared on the magical viewing globe.
"Yeah. What does it say, Fionna? Girlish Girl won't tell me," he confessed.
"Hey," she whispered, "don't tell him, Fionna."
"It doesn't say anything, Prince," she giggled and winked at the minotaur.
"Girlish man!" he called, annoyed.
The minotaur shrugged at the prince, chuckling.
All of them had the best picnic of their life, not caring about the prince, begging to know the truth.
THE END