Once upon a time, the Ice Queen was trying to kidnap Prince Gumball for the countless time, flying towards her castle.
"Hey, fart-face!" Fionna the Human, down below, insulted her, "unhand Prince Gumball!"
"Foolish interlopers!" she said before firing ice magic at her and Cake the Cat. "Zah!"
Both girls dodged her attack.
"Ee hee hee hee-" she laughed before getting hit,"OOH! MY EYESIGHT!"
Cake made good use of her blindness by forming her posterior into Prince Gumball's shape while Fionna put two rocks on it, representing his eyes. She then replaced Prince Gumball with her posterior without the Ice Queen noticing.
"Huh? Hee hee hee!" the prince giggled, back to safety.
"Hey, Ice Queen! I bet you'll never kiss the Prince!" Fionna dared her.
"I will kiss him! I will!" she promised, taking her crone off, "hold still. Mwah!"
"You just kissed Cake's butt!" Fionna laughed once her lips had reached a cheek.
"What?!" she realized as the cat's butt reformed, "EEEEGH!The hour is yours, but the day shall be mine! Just like you, Prince—MINE!"
"What a patoot," the prince said before turning to his heroes, "thanks for saving the day yet again, girls."
"You're welcome, Prince," she thanked him, hugging him tight, blushing as she felt Cake's gaze on them.
"I'm gonna throw you two a party. Meet at the Candy Kingdom—TONIGHT!" he invited them, smiling.
Night had fallen upon the kingdom and Fionna and Cake were heading towards the castle through the Cotton Candy Forest.
"That paper crane for Prince Gumball?" Cake asked, seeing the little present Fionna had brought.
"I just thought I'd bring him a gift... in return for throwing us the party," she explained, looking at her creation.
"Heh," Cake thought, "I bet you wish you were my butt."
"What?" she wondered
"'I bet you wish you were my butt, because then the Prince would... No, wait…" she started over, "I bet you wish you were the Ice Queen and the Prince was my butt!"
"What?!"
"Hmm…" she thought before snapping, "OH! I bet you wish Gumball would kiss you, too! Like the Ice Queen and my butt! Hahahaha!"
"That's ridiculous!" she argued before imagining the prince kissing her, feeling butterflies in her stomach and blushing and hearing her friend laughed at her reaction, What's so funny?"
"Hey, everybody," Butterscotch Butler called as she saw the heroes, "Fionna and Cake are here."
"Who's ready to party?!" Cake asked.
But no one answered, focused on and gathered around something else. Fionna and Cake confusedly looked at each other.
"What's everyone laughing at?" Fionna wondered, stepping into the cercle.
"Shh!" Wildberry Prince asked.
"Stand back, everyone," she heard a quite interesting voice said, "this style of massage is called, "Best Friend Massage."
"Oh, glob…" Lumpy Space Prince mumbled as a shaped like heart girl was massaging his back.
"Because it can only be done for friends. It is completely consensual," she explained.
"Oh, for the love of glob…" he moaned.
"Relax yourself now, Lumpy Space Prince…" she advised before backfliping and pounding him YAH!"
"Oh! I feel delightful!" the prince confessed.
"Who is that girl?" Fionna asked as the heart laughed.
Cake only shrugged before a fanfare was heard and Prince Gumball entered.
"Greetings, party-goers!" he said, "glad you could all make it!"
"Prince Gumball!" Fionna greeted him as the unknown person seemed to start "beating" hard, "prince. I just wanted to thank you for—"
"Oh, my glob!" LSP cut out, "your highness, you ought to encounter this charming lady. You shall be found of her."
The princes then left the heroes for the stranger.
"'Tis," the handsome prince started before hesitation, "oh glob, you did not even inform me of your title, lady."
"Maorta. Maorta at your service. I've been waiting all evening to meet you, Prince," she introduced herself, asking him to kiss her hand, which he did as Fionna got irritated, "I've heard you appreciate ancient technology. Have you ever used the balbaflonic laser to align the hybernotalist rift in the bubaflon plasmodial formation?"
"Whoa! No, I haven't!" he realized as the music started up, "wanna continue this conversation on the dance floor?"
"It would be my pleasure, Prince," she exited with him.
Meanwhile a snail was waving, unnoticed.
"Why didn't the Prince invite me to dance?" Fionna whimpered.
"If you wanna dance, just go dance!" Cake advised her.
"But now he's dancing with her! Ah... I feel... weird!" she confessed, caressing her stomach.
"Huh, it sounds like you're dealing with some new emotions you don't understand... like jealousy," she guessed and cut her off before she could argued, "look, honey, just go out there and get down!"
Pushed by the best friend, Fionna heard the prince's conversation with the heart.
"—transmordial layers completely independent of the babylons. Eh?" she told Gumball.
"Wow! That would mean that the babylons would fluctuate with the piranha-nanosphere!"
"Correct!" she complimented him.
"Agh!" Fionna groaned, back to Cake,"they're talkin' about science, sis! I can't compete with that!"
"Do the Science Dance!" she urged her, "remember it? It was sorta like unh we ah eeh…"
"You think that'll work?" she wondered.
"Yeah! Probably," she assured her, pushing her back onto the dance floor, "do it, honey! You're a pro!"
"Science Dance! Science Dance!" Fionna said as she danced awkwardly.
" —lower proximities to—" Maorta was saying.
"Science Dance!" the human came along, "hey, eh, Prince! You wanna spend some time with me?"
"Excuse me, Prince. You must excuse me," the heart asked as she left the prince with the heroine.
"Oh, uh... Alright!" he replied before turning to his friend, "Fionna, what the cabbage? I was learning about Zanoits!"
"Oh... I'm... into Zanoits!" she lied, "th-They're the best!"
"Zanoits kill hundreds of thousands of Plantoids a year," Gumball frowned.
"Oh, no, not the Plantoids!"
"Plantoids produce mellotoxin!" he continued under Fionna clueless look, "Mellotoxin kills Zanoits!"
"...So are Zanoits... good things?" she asked.
"You're totally jealous of Maorta," he said, changing subject.
"No, I'm not," she swore, "I just don't like the way she talks to you. It makes me feel weird."
"That's jealousy, babe," he stated.
"I'm not jealous! I'M WEIRD!" she yelled as everyone turned towards her.
"Woof! Girl... this is goin' bad," Cake thought before turning to her best friend, "hey, Fionna. You gotta come help me slay these peanut monsters at the bar. It can't wait."
Once away from the crowd, Cake seemed worried.
"Wow, honey, what happened out there?"
"Agh... I don't know! I was tryin' to warn him, but he twisted my words around and—" she started to explain.
"Yeah," she agreed, "men are twisty, honey. Gumball's super smart, too."
"I know! And I can't shake this weird feeling about Maorta. I think she's... a villain," she assured.
"Why?" Cake wondered, "is it because her face is so foldy and dramatic?"
"No! I can just feel it in my gut! She's up to something sinister!" she swore.
"Maybe what you feel is romantic rivalry."
"I'll prove she's a villain!" she pledged.
"How?" she asked.
"Stakeout."
Cake followed Fionna outside of the castle. They ended up on the roof where Fionna was looking through binoculars.
"Here she comes!" she exclaimed, viewing Maorta and Prince Gumball, "they're talking!"
"Lemme see," Cake asked, taking the binoculars, "I can read their lips. 'Hey, shorty, you should pick your boogers and then fart!' 'You look kind of like a big pink baguette!'"
"Get serious, Cake!" she urged her, taking back the binoculars, "this is life and death!"
"Is it?" the cat retorted, "don't get me wrong. I'm all about stakeouts and spying on this girl, but what if she's not a villain? What if she just looks wicked? Some people look wicked but are super nice."
"I gotta trust my gut!"
"Hmm," Cake said, grabbing her own guts.
"She's on the move! Let's roll!" she shouted, following the heart from up there, swinging onto a Guardian of the Royal Promise, "I see her. She's holding rope and going into the trash. She's smashing bottles—and pretending to stab someone!"
"So... she's recycling... or what?" Cake guessed.
"I think your gut's a little naive, Cake. Holy moly! She's... she's with the Ice Queen! They're shouting something! Maorta is tossing her in the dumpster and running away!"
"So I was right!" Cake conceded, "she is a good girl who's just cursed to look suspicious! You and me, gut! together forever! Solvin' crimes and makin' up rhymes!"
"No way," she argued, "this proves she's a mega-super-villain! More powerful than usual villains like the Ice Queen! Then it's settled! We're gonna confront Maorta face-to-face and prove she's evil!"
"Or good!" Cake added.
They fell down the street, waiting for the wicked or humble heart.
"So what're you doin', Maorta?" Fionna asked, "are you evil?"
"Or nice with an evil face?" Cake added
"That's none of your business," she replied, darkly.
"The safety of Prince Gumball is my business!"
"Yeah, we just wanna know if you're evil or not."
"Oh, yeah?" she asked.
"Yeah," they answered.
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah. Yes!"
"You stay away from Prince Gumball with all that stuff!" Fionna warned her.
"Now that my plan is nearly complete, there is no way you could stop me," she declared.
"I could stop you if I wanted!"
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah!"
"Oh, yeah?"
"YEEEAAAH!" she yelled as she punched Maorta, knocking her down before Prince Gumball's eyes.
"What's going on here?" he gasped.
"Prince?!" Fionna realizied
"Maorta?!" Gumball shouted, kneeling to her.
"Yes…," she said weakly, "I'm alright, Prince."
"Fionna... why'd you do it?"
"She was gonna hurt you with those ropes and bottles!"
"These were for our balbaflonic laser," he explained.
"It's not all her fault, Prince. I might've looked a little threatening," Maorta confessed.
"Fionna... you shouldn't punch brainiacs. You know how fragile they are! You gotta stop this jealous business."
"But…" Fionna tried.
"C'mon, Maorta. I'll patch you up and give you candy," the prince offered as they exited hand-in-hand.
"He hates me now," she sighed, "I was totally wrong about Maorta."
"No, Fionna!" the Ice Queen told her, emerging from a dark alleyway, "you were not wrong. She is evil!"
"Ice Queen!" she called as she was collapsing, "what do you know about this? Tell me or I'll do something!"
"Hold up, Fionna!" Cake, the Queen's former pet, stopped her, "the Ice Queen looks sorta damaged!"
"I don't care! I only care about Maorta!"
"But my enervated condition has everything to do with her," she explained, "I was trying to cast a spell that would give me total control of Prince Gumball's heart! ...But I messed it all up... and lost control of mine. She planned to rip out Prince Gumball's heart... to make it her husband. But I made my way to the Candy Kingdom to look for her. In an alleyway, I begged her to return to me and leave the Prince alone. But she threw me in the dumpster and left me for dead. Stop Maorta!"
"Agh! Come on, Cake!" Fionna called, leaving the Queen where she laid, "Gotta save the Prince!"
"Prince Gumball!" the adventurers yelled, smashing their way into the castle only to meet the prince tied up with rope and Maorta, next him, with a broken glass bottle.
"Fionna! Cake!" he called for help.
"You were right all along, Fionna!" the heart admitted, "now I'm going to cut out Prince Gumball's heart and make out with it!"
"Not if I can help it!" she swore before chasing after the wicked person.
They ran, to and away from each other but in the end, Maorta ended up next to Gumball again.
"One step closer and I'll remove his heart!" she pledged.
"Fionna!" he called, "I feel like a big idiot for doubting you!She was just so engaging! ...But her knowledge on plantoids is actually pretty weak."
"Shut your mouth up, Prince!" the heart commanded before being knocked down by Cake who stretched her face at her, "I'm gonna smooch that heart! It will be my husband!"
"Why don't you marry someone your own size?! Like my foot?!" Fionna replied, jumping down to kick her.
"And my fist?!" she yelled, pushing her twice.
"Stop! Stop it!" the Ice Queen crawled to the room, "that's my heart, you piece of—"
"Ice Queen," she called, seeing the old woman going towards her heart weakly, "should we... let her take her heart back? She is... villainous…"
"I don't wanna watch an old woman die on Prince Gumball's carpet, honey," Cake confessed.
"Oh, yeah…" she agreed.
"Wait! Wait! No!" her heart disagreed.
"Come to mommy…"
"Noooooooooo!"
"Yeah, there you go…" she mumbles, putting her back in her chest, "Like that? Huh?"
"Seeee you guys laterrrr…" Maorta promised before being sunk into the Queen.
"I feel wonderful! Hahaha!" she exclaimed, all better now, "and now that I've saved the Prince, he'll marry me and live in my dungeon every day!"
"No, he won't!" Fionna replied
"Yeah, no, I won't!" Prince Gumball agreed.
"Yes you WILL!" she swore as she charged up her ice magic before Fionna kicked her, making her retreat, "well... maybe not today... or tomorrow... but another day! Another day" she promised, darkly.
To thank his saviors, Gumball asked them to join him for dinner, to eat spaghetti.
"Thanks again for saving me... again," Gumball said.
"Don't mention it," Fionna muffled, mouth full of pasta.
"Now that Maorta's gone, you don't have to be jealous of anyone anymore," he winked at her.
"I never get jealous," she argued.
"Kiss me, Fionna," he asked charmingly as Fionna blushed before turning to him.
As she did, she saw him doing a hand-stand and wearing a Cake mask on his posterior.
"Ahem," he said using a higher pitch, "I mean... kiss me, Fionna."
He then whispered to Cake, with his usual voice:
"Am I doing it right, Cake?"
Cake chucked as her best friend was mortified.
THE END