Once upon a time near the Iceberg Lake, Fionna the Human and Cake the Cat where playing with a flamethrower and a flambit, a cute creature belonging to the Flame Kingdom. The blonde girl was laughing as the icebergs melted, exposing several objects inside.
"I found another bike and more computers. What do you got?" she asked Cake.
"I keep finding baby shoes!," she replied, disappointed before melting more ice,"WHAT THE HECK, MAN?! And they're all lefties! Sorry I'm not finding any loot."
"Keep it together, cutie," she reassured her, "because I think we found enough scrap to finish building our gauntlet dock; a dock that is also a gauntlet."
"Aww. Building this gauntlet dock is hard, honey," she argued, "hard work sucks."
"Don't be lazy, Cake," she urged her, "Huh?"
They suddenly heard a noise coming from the lake as a big iceberg came towards the beach.
"Incoming iceberg!" Cake warned her.
"Whoa! That one's huge!" she realized.
"I got dibs! Ooo. I hope it's not baby shoes," the cat wished.
As the iceberg landed, she wiped the surface of the ice, it revealed human shaped people stuck inside. They look normal, except from their weird pale skin color and the boils all around their bodies.
"It's a girl," she said.
"Creepy," Fionna complained, "it's a buncha girls."
"You know what they remind me of?" she asked, looking at their formal attire, "well-dressed pickles."
"Stand back, Cake!" she advised, "I'm gonna melt 'em outta there! Full charge."
She blasted a huge flame out of her flamethrower as Cake ran up to stop her.
"Whoa, don't roast 'em, honey," she shouted, taking the machine, "you gotta flambé."
Cake gently brushed the flame across the iceberg and it soon melted.
"Ah. Perfecto. Bon appetit."
"Hey!" Fionna called the girls, "can you hear me? Hello?"
"I don't think they made it," Cake confessed, knocking on one of their heads.
"Hey," she noticed a briefcase and reached for it, "this one's got some kind of pack."
As one of them came to life and pushed Fionna away, she screamed.
"I remember... business," a red-jacket woman said.
"Let go! Let go! Let go!" the human begged.
"We... are Business Women," she then explained.
"Oooh... Well, I'm Fionna and she's Cake," Fionna introduced themselves.
"What kind of business do you do?" Cake wondered.
"Been frozen... so long, I…" she tried as hers and every businesswoman heads shake, as if in pain, "can't remember! Oh. Looking for help, your business? We love work for you."
"Nah. Adventurers don't need any help," Fionna said.
"Yes!" Cake disagreed, "help us fix that dock."
"Dock-ka?" she tried to repeat harshly.
"Yeah! Right over there."
She pointed out the gauntlet dock they were trying to build for so long but still was not looking like anything they wanted or could made used of.
"Yes. This dock-ka... could be more... efficient," the woman agreed.
"No! Wait!" Fionna tried to stop them.
The businesswomen reeled back and murmured as if frightened.
"Cake," she called, "this dock is our fun pie. We should be the ones to bake it."
"But they're begging for it, Fionna. Just look at 'em," she told her as they looked indeed quite exciting to help, some even drooling.
"Build dock. Build dock," they chanted.
"Fionna. These poor souls are lost without jobs," she explained, "we can't ignore their plight."
"Uhh…" she hesitated
"Go on girls, fix it up!" she urged them.
The businesswomen murmured excitedly as they ran over to the dock and began building.
Meanwhile a snail was waving, unnoticed.
"Well... they do seem really happy to do it," Fionna had to admit.
"Of course, honey. They said they "love work for you."
"Uhh... We finish," the businesswomen said in unison a few seconds later.
"Whoa!," Fionna exclaimed as the gantlet dock was complete, with its ax, scissors and flame circle.
"Told ya so."
"Come on! Let's try it out!" she begged.
Fionna and Cake then ran through the gauntlet dock, avoiding the traps and obstacles, while Fionna screamed excitedly. The blonde human ended up in the water while Cake had shrunk to fit on top of her head, both laughing though quite wounded.
"See?" Cake asked, panting, "if we hire them full time, they'll be back in business and we'll be able to focus on fun stuff. Everybody wins!"
"Maybe you're right," she conceded.
"You hear that, girls?" she told the businesswoman, "maybe I'm right!"
"Really? Job? With... ad-ven-tur-ers?" the red-jacket girl asked.
"Yeah, girlz!"
The businessmen cheered and danced as the red-jacket business woman threw down her briefcase and chiseled "Fiona & Cake Adventuring Incorporated" into the side.
Back at their Tree Fort, the businesswomen did everything from cleaning weapons to ironing socks and shining shoes. Their boss would do nothing, barely playing video games.
"Feels weird doing nothing," Fionna admitted.
"Relax, honey. This is your day off," Cake reassured her.
"Help! Somebody help!" a voice was suddenly heard in the distance.
"Trouble, honey! Get your ax!" she advised the cat, running to get her stuff, " I'll get my... wha?"
"Adventure pack... ready for you," the red-jacket business woman handed her her backpack, already made.
"Hey, thanks girl," she said, taking it before rushing to the action.
They went to the Grass Lands, where the voice was coming from, weapons in hand.
"I have to say, Cake. My sword is totally shiny and stinkin' sharp!" Fionna admitted, "even my shoes feel different. Not only are they clean, I feel radder, faster, more... adequate."
"Cool!" her best friend replied as their employees where running behind, writing notes.
They suddenly noticed a battle cube chasing Hot Dog Prince inside its tiny Kingdom that was just a parcel of grass delimited by fences.
"Help!" he begged, running away from the attack but staying inside his small kingdom.
"Don't cry, Hot Dog Prince!" the Human reassured him, coming to rescue him "Cake and I will fend off these battle cubes!"
The businessmen sat off to the side and continued to take notes while eating donuts and drinking coffee. Fionna and Cake began to fight the battle cubes, which were flying around Hot Dog Princess' Kingdom. Soon, as the fight was still drawn, everyone was tired from it and Hot Dog Prince was taking a nap.
"Man. I'm getting tired," Fionna confessed.
"Me too," Cake groaned, "These cubes are... flipin' resilient. Hey, business girls! Hold off these cubes so we can catch our breath?"
"Cake!" she yelled, "they don't know how to fight."
The businesswomen ran over, wearing armor and wielding weapons and began fighting the battle cubes while Fionna and Cake rested.
"Water, the red-jacket business woman offered, before running back into battle "orange slices. Help rehydrate."
"These ladies are great, right?" Cake asked
"I gotta admit... they are helping," she said, surprised, "Oh! I think I figured out how to defeat the battle cubes!"
"That's 'cause you had time to rest your body and refresh your brain," the cat explained.
"Ok! We'll take it from here, guys!" Fionna told her employees.
"Yeah! Good work."
Fionna and Cake ran towards the battle cubes and Cake roared and grew large.
"Grab all the cubes together!" the human told her.
Cake stretched her hands to become giant and clasped them together, grabbing all the cubes.
"Got 'em!"
Fionna grunted and jumped into Cake's hands with a rope and tied all the battle cubes together into a single, large cube.
"It worked!" the blond girl exclaimed as Cake threw the cubes off into the distances.
"Wake up, Hot Dog Prince," she called, "you're free."
"Oh! Thank you, Fionna and Cake! Especially you, Fionna," he said winking before standing on his hind legs and puckered his lips, as if to give Fionna a kiss.
"Ugh," she whispered to Cake as she reared back, disgusted, "he smells like old hot dog water."
The cat giggled and the red-jacket business woman ran in between Fionna and Hot Dog Prince to take the kiss instead.
"I take one for team," she whispered to Fionna.
"This is awesome! You get a promotion, gal," she told her as she cheered and danced.
"Take one for team, too," another business woman said, before being kissed too, followed by every other employees.
They then went back home to play more games.
"Oh... Lost again!" Cake noticed.
"My turn," Fionna said, grabbing the controller.
Cake walked over to the businesswomen, operating a large collection of wires and monitors.
"What's that?" she asked, going to the freeze to take out a tub of ice cream.
"Hero vision monitor," red-jacket business woman said, "use satellite to tell us world problems."
"Oh, wow. Anything going on?" she wondered
"Just small things. You save stress for big thing," she replied.
"Freakin' awesome, girl."
"What are they doing?" Fionna asked as Cake came back.
"Takin' care of business," she explained, eating a scoop of ice cream.
"Cake, hit me!," she asked, letting her fling a scoop of ice cream into her mouth.
Time passed, stacking more and more empty ice cream tubs near Fionna and Cake while both of them were getting fatter and fatter.
"Mission complete," the game said as they cheered and danced, shaking their enormous guts.
"We beat Adventure Master!" Fionna exclaimed, "we're adventure masters!"
"Woo! Yes!" Cake shouted, both tired and ended their celebration to take a breath.
"I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding," Fionna admitted.
"Yeah," Cake agreed, pushing around her best friend,'s gut, "you're gut's so huge and moldable. Hold on a sec!"
"Honey, that tickles," Fionna laughed as Cake manipulated Fionna's gut to look like the Ice Queen.
"I'm the Ice Queen," she said with her voice, "and I'll never find a husband because I'm such a tool."
"Alright, let me try," she asked, manipulating her own gut to look like Prince Gumball.
"I'm Prince Gumball and I'm a dork," she said with his voice, "because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Fionna thinks is attractive!"
"That's a- Hey, what'd you say?" she chuckled.
"Ahh! Oh, glob! Take your leave. I simply verbalized your hideousness, which is no fallacy. One shall assist me, I beg of them." they heard Lumpy Space Prince asked through the hero vision monitor, running from a Swamp Giant.
"Man," Cake admitted, "I am not in the mood for saving Lumpy Space Prince."
"Hey, business ladies!" Fionna called as they entered the room from various directions, "what do you guys think?"
"Hmm…" the red-jacket business woman pondered, "just one monster. We do."
"Right," Cake said, seeing them running off, "we'll just save our strength for the big adventures, then."
Fionna and Cake sat back down on their couch and relaxed.
"Ahh. Nice call, honey," Cake admitted.
"Imagine how awesome the adventure's going to be when it's time for us to go out there," Fionna pictured.
"I'm too tired to imagine stuff, but I bet you're right."
"To being great adventurers!" both exclaimed, both grabbing a tub of ice cream and toasting with them.
Time passed as they emptied tubs and ice cream was all over their faces. They were even fatter, and Fionna's gut was now visible outside her shirt.
Both groaned and waivered until they felt over.
"Help us!" the human heard from the distance.
"Huh?" Fionna realized "Cake! Did you hear that?"
"Yeah," the cat confessed, "let the businesswomen handle it."
"Help! Please!" the voice repeated.
"I heard it again."
"Businesswomen, honey," she said once more.
"Heeeeeelp!"
Fionna walked over to the window and gasped, seeing the businesswomen in a large robot, sucking up small cotton like people into a container.
"Cake!" she called her, "we messed up! The businesswomen have gone bat-crazy, honey!"
"Honey, just let the businesswomen handle it," she advised, still lying on the floor.
"THE BUSINESSWOMEN ARE THE PROBLEM, you lazy plug-hole!" she snapped.
"Huh?" the cat opened her eyes, surprised.
"Girls!" she yelled out the window.
Fionna began to climb out the window and down to the bottom of the Tree Fort.
"Girls, stop it!" she begged, running up to the businesswomen's robot, "stop it, girls!"
"Stop what, boss?" the red-jacket business woman asked.
"You're jacking up those Fuzzy Friends!"
"But... We're being heroes," she replied, confused, "like you, boss. We're protecting them. Collecting them in our care-sack so they cannot be hurt. It's the most efficient way to save people."
"But you're making them unhappy!" she shouted.
"Irrelevant! These people are in our care-sack. Their happiness is not priority," she stated.
"I am your boss! And you guys are all fired!" she decided as the businesswomen began to murmur to each other.
" Fi-red?" they asked.
The businessmen shouted angrily and started sucking up the Fuzzy Friends even faster than before. They moved their robot and it crushed one of the Fuzzy Friends.
"Nooo!" Fionna screamed, "alright, guys. Now I've gotta take you down... Fionna style."
Fionna ran over to kick their robot but got sucked up into the care-sack in an instant.
"I'm kicking your care-sack, ladies!" she warned, locked in.
"Fionna?" Cake called, squeezing her enormous gut out the window "Whoa... Crud. I'm comin' honey!"
She flopped onto the ground, still holding a tub of ice cream.
"Ahh. I'm so fat, honey; I don't know what to do."
"That's it!" she gasped "Cake! Demoralize them!"
"What? Why?"
" Do it, sis! I have a legit plan!" she promised.
"Ok, Alright," she agreed before turning to their former employees, "hey! You girls are horrible at business!"
The businesswomen lashed about angrily and try to sucked Cake up into their care-sack, but she was too fat to fit.
"Huh?" she realized, "they're sucking me up, honey!"
"Now, eat that ice cream some more to become fatter, while also using your Stretchy Powers to grow huge!" she asked of her.
Cake chew down on the ice cream and started getting bigger. She lifted her head up for a second before using her Stretchy Powers as she got pulled into the robot.
"This sucks," she said.
"Yeah, honey! Keep growin'!" Fionna shouted, "you're breaking apart their robot!"
The robot began to shake violently as the businesswomen screamed. The robot exploded and Fionna, Cake and the businessmen went flying into the air.
"I'm going to kill you, not-boss!" the red-jacket business woman yelled, attempting to grab Fionna.
"Wait, girl! Wait! I wanna re-hire you guys!" she offered.
"Re-hire? Really?" she wondered.
"Yeah, girlz," she promised.
As they all fell back to the ground, the businesswomen and Fionna grasped hands and formed a five-point star.
Back to a beach, Fionna, Cake and the Fuzzy Friends were waving towards the water.
"Yay! Hip-hip hooray! Pancakes!" the Fuzzy Friends were screaming as the businesswomen were once again frozen in an iceberg and floated back out to the middle of the lake.
"So, wait... What'd you hire them to do?" Cake wondered
"I hired them to stuff themselves in that iceberg and get outta here," she explained.
"I'm gonna miss 'em," she sighed, "and I'm gonna miss this gut."
"I'm gonna miss my gut too," she laughed, watching Cake using her Stretchy Powers to return to her normal size.
Fionna strained and attempted to suck in her gut, in vain. As for the businesswomen, no one ever heard from them again.
THE END