Chapter Twenty Seven

Bella

We were totally alone again and this time there were no bars separating us, Jasper was thirsty I could feel it spilling over into my own emotions, he was also very scared and very, very, protective towards me. I lifted his head and looked into his eyes

"You need to hunt Jasper, how long has it been since you did?"

He shook his head,

I don't remember, everything is all mixed up Bella. Am I in a dream or are you really here? Is this my imagination?"

His voice was so weary.

"No I'm here, we're all here. We came to find you, I had to find you, I was so worried you might have done something."

"Why would it concern you? I'm a vampire remember, you should want me dead."

"No Jasper, you're a man and one who has suffered too much for too long. Its time for you to rest, to feel wanted, valued..."

I wanted to say loved but I wasn't sure I should. I wasn't prepared to put any more pressure on him.

As I watched I saw him struggling to make sense of everything.

"If you're real then the call from your father was real too. You should go back, back to your family, back to finish your education. If you stay you'll be wasting your opportunities and that would be a tragedy, especially losing it all because of someone like me"

I knew it was hurting him to say these words but he forced them out of his lips while his eyes begged me to stay. I knew if I left that would be the end for Jasper Whitlock, he had sunk as low as possible for any creature to go and still exist. If I did the "right thing" and went home it would be a death sentence for him and for that reason alone I would have stayed but it wasn't the real reason, I simply couldn't walk away from him it was impossible and he needed to know that.

"Jasper, I'm not going back for the simple reason that I need you in my life and if I leave I know I will never see you again, you will cease to exist and that's not an option."

He closed his eyes and I saw the effort it took for him to control, his emotions and still speak, then words burst from his lips unable to remain captive in his mind any longer,

"Don't go back Bella please, you're the only thing anchoring me to the ground. If you leave I will blow away and never find a place to land."

"I'm not going, we'll find a way around Charlie. Besides if he looks for me how will he find me here? It's blocked off with the snowfall. Don't worry about that for now, you still need to hunt"

He touched his throat and nodded,

"You know what I hunt? That I'm a monster"

"I know you hunted humans but I think you've been trying to live on animal blood"

"How do you know that?"

"Your eyes, they're so dark but there's still a hint of gold there."

"How do you know so much about my kind Bella?"

"I was involved with the Cullens"

"The animal hunters Alice was headed to join? They really exist then?"

"Yes, and they live exclusively on animal blood but if you can't do that then you must do what's necessary to survive. I think for now animal blood will be easier to come by."

He looked at me carefully as he said the next few words,

"I could drain you"

"Yes you could., do you want to?"

I held my wrist up to his mouth.

"I trust you Jasper but if it will keep you alive you can have my blood willingly"

He put his cold hand over my wrist pushing my arm down then noticed the scar,

"You've been bitten before? Why aren't you changed or dead?"

"I was bitten by a nomad but Edward Cullen didn't want me as a vampire and sucked the venom out"

"That took great restraint"

"Yes it did, at the time I thought it was stupid, I wanted to be like him but I'm glad he refused"

"Why?"

"Because he didn't love me, not enough and not in the right way"

"Is there a right way?"

"Well I know there's a wrong way, he wanted to control me and that didn't work, not for me"

"I'll remember that"

I smiled,

"You planning on taking his place?"

He didn't answer straight away, just took my hand and placed it over his chest, then put his over mine,

"I think I already have Bella."

There was a flash of heat and I felt something shift in my chest, a small part of my heart had broken free and leached out through my hand into his chest to be replaced by a part of his.

"Yes, I feel it. I don't know how or why but I love you Jasper and I'll never leave you, never allow you to destroy yourself again."

"I'm not sure I'm strong enough Bella, I don't have the energy or the strength of will to keep you safe, protect you."

"Well if we really are connected then maybe its my turn to protect you, after all you've waited alone a long time for me, I haven't suffered the same. Will you let me?"

I knew I was asking a lot of this proud man but he was so beaten down by the years alone and the struggle to survive thus far that I knew if he refused he was giving in, he'd given up on himself and that would be a tragedy. I waited in silence as he struggled with an answer. Eventually he sighed,

"I don't have the strength to refuse Bella, you've given me a reason to continue and until I can take control of my life, my body, again I have no choice but to accept what you offer. Thank you"

He pulled me close and I felt another strange sensation deep within me, as if I were pouring warmth into his icy core, freely giving my own strength to keep him strong enough to hunt, to get a grip on reality once more. It went on for what seemed a long time and when he finally pulled away I felt exhausted, his face looked less tormented and he seemed more alert. He kissed me very gently on the cheek and stood up stretching his body like a big cat. Then as if realizing what he'd done he picked me up and carried me through into the bedroom, putting me on the mattress and covering me with the blankets and counterpane.

"Sleep Bella while I hunt. I won't be gone long, Garrett's just coming back and the others will be here soon."

I nodded unable to keep my eyes open any longer as he left the room, knowing he would be back. Like me he had no choice, we were bonded to each other by ties so strong only death could break them.