A/N: OK, I know most of you know all of this. But I'm going to be adding another book soon, so you can all just refer back to this. I saw this in another story and loved the idea. Yea or nay? Tell me what you think in a COMMENT (hint hint), but please read on!

Artemis Fowl: ruthless teenage genius. His father is in charge of an internationally famous criminal business, so Artemis has almost no qualms or morals. his father disappeared a few months ago in Russia, while making a secret effort to start a legal business. His mom, Angeline Fowl, is on the brink of madness since her husband, Artemis Sr, left. He has a body guard called Butler who is famously huge and can fight and win against almost anyone or anything. He is the best of the best.

Harry Potter: 2nd year. There is a secret community hidden in London that is full of Wizards. They can perform all sorts of spells that do domething, such as lift an object or turn it into something else with their wands. The young witches and wizards learn magic at a school called Hogwarts and get sorted into houses, which is a big boarding school, ages 11-17, that teaches subjects like Charms, Potions, and Transfiguration. Harr. Potter survived the death curse of Voldemort, an evil wizard who is trying to make a comeback. He has 2 friends, Ron Weasley and Hermionie Granger.

And without further ado, please read! I know it's REALLY short, but I wanted to get something up before I leave on a school trip for a week.

Angeline Fowl was not pleased. After making a quick excuse to the Professor, she dragged Artemis away from the door. "Arty, why are you just going with her? "

"She is valid. That was truly magic. I have been wondering what this was. He glanced down at his hands. "Look, Mother." And he stretched out his smallest finger, and a small spark came shooting out. She gasped. "Oh, your father must see this!" Artemis winced and smiled. "So, Mother..."

Angeline sighed. "Yes, Artemis. You may go." Artemis allowed himself a slight smile, and walked out of the sitting room. Then he smirked, summoning up the spark again and concentrating harder, until it had been focused into a laser. It left the floor scorching as Artemis Fowl the Second left his home. "So, Madame, how does this piece of wood..."

(after a short apparation to London and several questions)

Artemis Fowl looked down his nose at the dingy pub, his lip curling up. "I am not going to enter that…place. It is an embarrassment to your school and it severely undermines your credibility, Mademoiselle."

Minerva McGonagall pinched herself. This was second-best, of course, to pinching the spoiled boy; he had been asking questions and sniffing at the "primitive" wizarding world ever since they had left the house. Tensing her muscles, she said tersely, "The Leaky Cauldron is one of the most respected establishments in Wizarding London. This pub is—"

Artemis smirked in that smug way that she had already grown to despise. "My dear Mademoiselle, the word "establishment" implies a organized business. This slightly successful lemonade stand-" he paused while Professor McGonagall gasped "- is nothing more than a large set of disorganized, overworked, poor people catering to the needs of even greater ruffians. And furthermore, if this place were truly a pub, its drinks would not be composed mostly of structural dirt. One would think that if this place is so successful, it might be able to find some money to update and renovate its appearance. It looks like one brick pulled out would send the entire thing crashing down."

McGonagall glared heartily at him, trying to stop herself from holding the boy on wand point and escorting him back to Fowl Manor. She smiled slightly at the thought, then cleared her face. "Mr. Fowl—"

"Master Fowl, if you please."

"Master Fowl, The Leaky Cauldron is your gate into Wizarding London." And then, since Professor McGonagall didn't have time (oh, who was she kidding, she didn't want to spend any more time then she had to in Muggle London with this overly intelligent boy) to linger on the front steps, she grabbed Artemis firmly by the shoulder and marched him into the pub.