Timing is an intriguing beast within literature. Stories that have events happen too abruptly turn me off, but stories that take too long leave me bored. I try to mix it up some. I hope I don't ever leave you guys disoriented with the pace of my story. I try to keep it pretty well paced, even though I know some of you are impatient fangirls. ;) Specifically, I hope it goes well for this chapter...I didn't really have a plan for this one, so I'm kinda just writing out my ass and seeing where the syllables take me. Trying to build tension effectively is hard when you have no idea what you are doing. :( I hope it isn't too confusing. (I kind of hate this chapter.)
So, I scoured the site to find good fanfiction-not just readable, but true works of art. Found some really good stuff! Found an author I adore with a story worth reading...that hasn't been updated since 2009, and is a couple chapters away from finishing. ~sigh~ I don't want to be one of those people who just leave everyone hanging...so, if updates ever fall really far behind for this or my other story, I give you permission to PM me and message me on tumblr to get my ass in gear. This might take years to complete,(I hope not) but dammit, as long as at least one person is reading, I gotta finish this thing. I just hate that feeling of never knowing how it will end, don't you?
Allen felt...odd.
Link escorting him to the room he and Lavi had their 'sessions' in was normal. But everything else was not.
Lavi would be waiting for him in that room, and after yesterday, Allen didn't know what to think. The man was obviously bothered by...something. Allen still had trouble figuring out exactly what...the conversation they'd had was confusing at best. The redhead had mentioned something about kisses and limits and gender. The white haired boy just couldn't make sense of it all. Normally, he would have just asked, but...Allen got the sense that he shouldn't. It almost felt like Lavi had wanted Allen to say that they were something other than friends. With how strange humans tended to be, it was quite possible that their courtships were more subtle than he'd bargained for and he'd simply missed the signs. He really, really hoped that he was wrong...after all, the merman would either be going back to the ocean or dead soon. The kissing was nice, but this was neither the time nor the place for actual romance.
That wasn't all. There was Kanda to think about. Allen was still unsure of his motives and he was fairly certain that the Japanese man had begun to pick up on the fact that not all was as it seemed, but he couldn't seem to resist reacting strongly to the swordsman. Then, of course, there was Link. Something was seriously wrong with the man, and his zoning out had grown worse as of late. It was putting Allen on edge and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he was so worried about his biggest obstacle to getting out of here, but he was and it was driving him insane. He seemed to have a very treacherous heart, because he couldn't seem to help but care about his captors. He'd become friends with Lavi on the ship, and now he was befriending most of the people he spent time with here, the people who he knew were keeping secrets from him and were assigned to keep an eye on him, and it was really bad because he found himself not wanting to leave them.
And then there was Allen himself. The merman was positive now that there was something going on with this spell that was affecting his heart and mind. He felt no longing for the sea, and while he missed his friends, the homesickness just wasn't there. The only thing he really missed was his magic, but now that he was becoming more accustomed to the human's ways, that was fading too. A strange tingling sensation had started up about the time Allen realized something was wrong with him, and it was really starting to make him jumpy. At first, he'd thought it had just been nerves due to the unpleasant discovery, but...
It felt like someone was watching him. However, when he turned to look, there was never anyone there.
When they rounded the final corner to get to the desired room, Allen's steps faltered a bit. There was someone he didn't recognize leaning against the door, arms folded over her chest.
She barely sparred Allen a glance, but shot a meaningful look at the Inspector and pushed away from the door, marching down the hall in the opposite direction. Link's expression darkened. Allen wanted to ask, but he'd long since learned that Link wouldn't answer questions pertaining to the Order, and Allen got the impression that this would be one of those times.
The Inspector dropped him off with Lavi, only saying that it might take him a bit longer than usual for the blonde to come pick up his charge. Which left Allen alone, in a room with his friend who's feelings he wasn't sure of. Not a great trade off.
"Err...Hi, Lavi. What are we doing today?"
The redhead just looked at his counterpart for a moment, an unreadable expression on his face. Then he grinned his infectious grin and Allen knew it would all be okay.
"But what about Kanda?"
Lavi paused in his estimating escape times and regarded the white haired boy carefully.
"What about him?"
"He...he's onto me, right?"
Lavi sighed, leaving Allen feeling like he had wanted to avoid this subject. But, the redhead didn't hesitate in answering.
"Sort of. I don't think his actions were prompted by outside forces...he picked up on it himself and is trying to puzzle you out on his own. This spell of yours is certainly impressive, planting just enough doubt that you weren't killed immediately, but it's landed you in the den of wolves. Kanda, myself, and others around the base are trained to combat the forces outside humanity and keep them repressed. We might not understand magic, but that doesn't mean we don't have ways to combat it. Kanda is a bit slow on the uptake, but...well, it'd be best if we can get you out of here. Soon."
Allen nodded. He figured it was about time to lay his other concern onto the table:
"Link too. Something's up with him, and it's only been getting worse lately. Do you think it has anything to do with me?"
"Probably. He was sent here by the higher-ups to keep tabs on you. He's having to push them to make a decision about what to do with you. That means they still have their doubts. I'm not sure how long this amnesia story will hold up though."
The merman swallowed. He understood the message.
Time was running out.
"Oi, Beansprout."
Allen flinched. How had Kanda managed to find him? Allen had made sure to take his bathroom break really early today-earlier than Kanda usually showed up. Maybe the swordsman was stalking him? The merman pulled his human persona about him as tight as he could and took a mental step back, hoping it would be enough to fool the man.
"Yes?" Neah smiled as politely as he could, which seemed to make the taller man a little put off.
"I told you to stop being fake and formal, didn't I?"
With much strength of will, Allen reigned in his reaction and let Neah continue to stay in control.
"Ah, I apologize."
Kanda just rolled his eyes.
"Eat your meal with me." It wasn't a request. Kanda just started walking back toward the lunch room without another word or glance.
"B-But I'm already spending it with-"
"Forget about them. An hour without you isn't going to kill them."
"I really don't think-" Neah gave up and started jogging after Kanda, who was already one step into the cafeteria at this point.
He quickly picked up his food as he passed by his usual table and mouthed a quick apology to his friends, not wanting to potentially anger the dark haired man in a place where there would be a lot of collateral damage.
Neah sat down tentatively while Allen watched from a distance, trying to ignore the inexplicable draw he felt toward this man, looking for a motive behind his actions.
"W-Why did you want me to eat with you," Neah asked, then added for good measure, "Mr. Kanda?"
Sharp dark eyes pinned him for a moment, before turning to the bowl of noodles Neah had failed to notice before.
"San."
"Pardon?"
"I'm Japanese. If you are going to use honorifics, it would be Kanda-san. Also, don't. It annoys me."
"Uh, okay. Kanda, then. B-But that doesn't answer my question..."
For a moment, he didn't speak. Then he took a deep breath and pinned the white haired boy with the same gaze that he had the other day. If Allen had been in control, he would have glared right back, but Neah stayed calm and simply lowered his eyes.
Out of the corner of his eye, Neah saw Kanda's hand clench dangerously tight around his chopsicks. He was distantly surprised that they didn't break.
"Who are you?" Kanda hissed. His voice was low, so no one would over hear, but it simmered with underlying danger.
"What?" That made Neah look up, but he was met with a searching gaze that he didn't really like.
"I asked who you are. You have two faces. Two personalities. Which is the real one?"
In his head, Allen's knee-jerk reaction was to answer, 'Me!' But he was caught off guard when the sentiment was echoed.
Two thoughts rang out simultaneously, in two separate voices.
The merman's blood ran cold.
It scared Allen so badly that he shrank back into the furthest corner of his mind that he could, and only vaguely caught the rest of the conversation.
"I don't know what you're takling about. There's only one of me." Neah said.
"Lies."
"I honestly don't know what you're talking about, Kanda-san. I'm Neah. I've never been anyone else."
"Yesterday, you were."
"No, I wasn't. Are you sure you didn't imagine it?"
'I'm the only 'me' there is.'
'No!' Allen fought back against the intruding thoughts. 'Stay back!' The merman gave a mental shove to the other voice in his head and it went silent. In his panic, he reached for his magic, only to find an aching void.
The white haired boy clutched his head, completely missing whatever it was that Kanda said next.
When he felt a strong hand grip his shoulder, Allen flinched. Relief flooded through him; he was back in control. Of course, that still left him with...
"Oi. What the hell's wrong with you?"
Kanda. And, just as usual, he felt a fire spread within himself.
"Shut up. Nothing's wrong." Allen shook his head to clear it and realized that this could be really bad. He was already off kilter and with Kanda around, things could go south really fast.
"First one, then the other," Kanda muttered with a glance toward Allen's usual table. The merman followed his gaze and wasn't entriely surpirsed to see everyone looking at him worriedly and Link glaring daggers at Kanda.
Allen took a deep breath to steady himself and shrugged off the hand that had yet to leave his shoulder. He ignored the pang of loss the he felt when the other man pulled away.
"Alright, Beansprout?"
The white haired boy warily eyed Kanda's face, looking for a motive.
'Is he trying to crack the facade where everyone can see? If so, he's doing a surprisingly good job, but...'
The dark haired man's eyes showed no lies. Only confusion. Allen's intuition told him that this was no trick, no matter how much his mind thought otherwise. And his mind seemed to be a little questionable as of late, so he decided to trust his instincts.
"I'm fine. And my name isn't 'Beansprout'."
'He's just genuinely curious about me. I suppose I can't blame him, but I also can't trust him.' Allen had to repress a shudder as he recalled the look that had graced this man's features when he had been locked in the tank.
'If he figures out who I am, he won't wait for permission to strike. If he were ever to learn...I'm dead.'
To My Reviewers:
maristhesealatin- Thanks for all your lovely reviews! I-I don't think it's so amazing that I reply to reviews! I like talking to you guys...Yeah, I hear that a lot about the summary! I think it's partially because I suck at writing them and partially because FF's character limit makes it pretty much impossible to write a truly good one. Also, apparently AU mermaid fanfics are notoriously bad! I've never watched the anime, so I wouldn't know! I think the English version of Kanda was dubbed by Travis Willingham, right? Yup. I am proud to write this crazy soap opera til the end!
Oaken Wren- Yeah, the capatcha thing is kinda pissing me off, but whatevs. I don't know if this chapter counts as angst...more like tension building. IDK, like I said in the ANs, I just kinda started vomiting out ideas and hoping they would work coherently. Did you do well on your finals? I'm starting my first year of college this fall and I'm really nervous! I don't know how much time I'll have for this story...I'm one of those people that never studied and barely did the homework required and had no extracurricular activities to deal with, so it will be a big change...but I digress. Yeah, sex shouldn't be perfect, because it isn't. The thing I aim to do in my stories is make them as real as I can, even though it's fiction. That why I don't describe clothes and stuff, because unless it's really abnormal, I never notice shit like that, so I don't bother with it in my writing, maybe I should, but...meh. Lol, sorry for rambling.
Krystal Nite- I love Laven too! As for your question...I have no idea. Lol.
Tintaglia In Flight- I like the long stories the best too...and what is the point of having a main character if you don't really get to know them? One of the reasons I lean toward fanfiction rather than original stuff if that some of the character development is already done for me. You guys already had a general idea of what to expect as far as basic outlook and stuff goes. It keeps me from having to explain every little detail right away, like why being the Bookman's apprentice is bad for relationships, and stuff like that. Granted, it's no excuse to not cover these things, but I feel having already established framework helps you understand a story more. Rest assured that Kanda does understand that there is something more going on here, he just doesn't quite get it yet. Sometimes the most obvious answers are the ones that evade us the most.
Lola that Fecker- W-Wow...you like the pairing because I wrote it and you like LTIS? *dies* I'm blushing here! Thanks for your praise! And I'm glad you appreciate that I'm not rushing the relationships. I don't think these things should be forced.
NightshadeTwiningTheRosary- Ah, I love that you review regularly! And I never care how much you have to say. I appreciate your critique because it forces me to think of ways to become better as a writer, which is absolutely invaluable. I did my best to make the sex scene good without being too much. I've read those stories where you have to get through 17 pages of flowery porn before you can get back to the plot, and it just kinda sucks. In the future, when Allen gets involved, the steamy scenes could get a bit longer and more detailed, but not too much. Yeah, the copious amounts of cussing really only happen in Kanda's POV. I sort of gave him my own personality in that regard- cusses a decent amount outwardly, but swears like a sailor in his head. Considering he grew up with essentially no parental guidance, I don't think it's too much of a stretch. Yeah, I've never read the official translation or watched the manga, so I don't know what he's like otherwise! I only have online scanlations to work from. Yullen, Yullen, Yullen...it's gonna be rough to get to that point, but I promise I'm working on it! See? *points up* They didn't try to kill each other or anything in this chapter! /shot.
AzureKurashin- Yup, no Allen. Just wanted to remind everyone that in order for a threesome to really work, all sides of it have to be functioning properly.
Kinkylittlewolf- Oh, I'm looking forward to the threesome too! Slowly but surely, we are getting there! The porn will probably be pretty hard to write though!
scrletfyre- A little drama is good, yes? Mostly, I just wanted to establish his resolve for helping Allen, that way this chapter could go off without too much of a hitch, since I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
Conrii- Well, I wish you the best of health and happiness from now on, my darling. If there's ever anything you wish to speak about, don't be afraid to PM me. Being sick really sucks! Anyway, yeah, it was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. In fact, all three of the boys are at tumultuous points right now.
blackirshawk- I know! I just wanted to give Kanda a little extra depth. He needs a soft side too. ^_^
Kurazilssia- Glad you guys liked it! I hope my porn writing skills are up to par...*glomps Razill*
EXO718- Kanda isn't supposed to be all brawn. He has a brain, he just doesn't use it very often, but when he does, he can come to understand things better. Glad you appreciated that.
Queen Yanna- YES, they are totally his bitches. I just imagines Kanda dressed up like a pimp with Lavi and Allen on either arm. LOL!
kotori- The pairing is going to wind up as a threesome, but it will probably be a love triangle for a little while. And yeah, there will be an aspect of romance between Kanda and Lavi, to make the threesome work properly, otherwise it's just Allen dating two people who happen to like fucking around. There will be some emotion involved. And yeah, there's a bunch of stuff to establish before we get to that point and I wanted to make sure everybody knew that Lavi had some feelings for Kanda! I want this to have emotional investment. I'll mostly focus on Allen's relationships, but I can't just leave the other boys out. I dunno if that actually answers your question though...
TotalAmuto- YES, I REMEMBER, I MISSED YOU BABY! AGGGHHH, I KNOW, THERES, SO MUCH SEXI TYME, I AM SO HENTAI!
sammi117- Lavi is slightly less stubborn than Kanda though, at least.
Hanashi o suru- Ah, I'm so happy you liked it! Truth be told, I am not super confident in my porn writing skills, so it makes me glad to hear that you think it was good!