Chapter Forty One
Jasper
When we reached the cabin Bella looked at me with a smile,
"Are you going to carry me in again?"
I remembered, rather ashamed of the way I had acted the last time we were here, but Bella seemed to know and took my hand squeezing it tightly.
"Lets start over shall we?"
I lifted her up still feeling I was living in a wonderful dream and never wanting it to end, I buried my face in her hair breathing deeply as I walked into the cabin. Once inside I put her down and looked around at the poor shabby interior but again she knew my thoughts because she smiled and pulled me over to the hearth.
"You light the fire, I'll get the things in from the truck."
It had been a difficult journey with the road almost impassible to vehicles and I suggested turning back but she wouldn't hear of it. Bella was determined to reach our home as she called it and I didn't have the energy or the inclination to argue. The thought of days with only Bella in the cabin appealed to me much more strongly than anything else ever had.
I lit the fire and chopped extra logs to fill the store by the cabin door while Bella brought the things in from the truck and I smiled hearing her humming a happy tune as she did so. How had this angel fallen for a demon like me and not only that but pulled me from the depths of hell with her love? I sat on one of the tree trunks that had fallen last winter and closed my eyes thinking back over my life. The more I remembered the less worthy I felt. I should be running as far as I could from the beautiful angel not corrupting her with my presence. I stood opening my eyes to look into the trees, my mind telling me I should run but my body unable to move, then I felt her, her arms come around my waist,
"Where are you going? Don't you dare leave me now I finally found you Jasper, come inside."
I allowed her to pull me back into the cabin and shut the door before leading me to the couch.
"I remember the last time we sat here, I was so relieved."
"Relieved?"
"That I'd found you and you were still alive. The thing that worried me most of all was the thought I might be too late. I'd felt your despair and that frightened me."
Bella
I could see he didn't understand why I felt the way I did about him so I put my arms around his neck, climbing into his lap and settling my head on his shoulder.
"Jasper stop trying to find out the solution to a question that no one can answer. I love you, I have from the first time I saw you in that cage. I don't know why it happened, just that it did and I'm happy about it. You aren't the monster you seem to think you are. We have a new start here, both of us. Can we try to push the past into the past and live for now and the future? Its you and me now and I suggest we think of us."
He thought about this and then nodded,
"If you can do it then I will. So, no past any longer?"
"No past, unless it's a happy memory."
"I do have one happy memory since I was changed, except for finding you of course."
He told me about his visit to his old home and his meeting with his great-niece Hannah, his voice almost breaking with emotion. It was then I realized just how alone he had really been. I kissed his neck,
"You'll never be alone again Jasper. I will never leave you and soon we need to think about me becoming a vampire too."
Jasper
The feelings of love, pity, and compassion, were so strong they almost choked me. There was no way Bella was telling anything but the absolute truth and when she spoke of becoming like me I was unable to answer her, words and emotions were preventing me from forming words so I just held her tight and poured my love into her.
"Jasper?"
I nodded,
"Have I said something wrong?"
I shook my head and kissed her, trying to tell her how happy she made me with her words,
"No Bella, you just made me feel complete, no longer alone"
"Then take me to bed and show me"
I swept her up and took her through to the bedroom,
"Your wish is my command darlin'"
Bella
When I woke it was dark except where the logs on the fire glowed and I realized I was on the couch, I guessed Jasper had carried me back through when I fell asleep to keep me warm. I was cocooned in a blanket and held in his arms. I looked at his face and saw his eyes were closed and he had a satisfied smile on his face. It made him look so much younger and more vulnerable and I vowed silently to keep him safe, whatever it took.
"Awake sleepyhead?"
He'd sensed my eyes on him,
"Yes."
"Happy?"
"Very"
"I didn't hurt you did I?"
I struggled to remember what happened, we had made love more hungrily and passionately than before and I stretched my limbs. There were some aches and a little soreness but nothing that I could call pain.
"No, everything feels fine, no. better than fine, I feel great. How about you?"
He laughed,
"How could I feel any better? You've given me everything I could ever have wanted."
Jasper
Bella had made the place more homely just by being here but with the log fire alight and the smell of coffee and fresh bread it reminded me of my childhood. How Bella had made fresh bread I had no idea but I was happy because she was. I watched her spellbound as she made a sandwich and sat by the fire to eat it leaning against my leg. I had picked up a book for the first time in years although I was more absorbed in her than the printed word. I leaned forward to kiss the back of her neck as she stretched to put her plate on the hearth. She moaned in pleasure and I waited hoping she might ask me to take her to bed again but she leaned back and put her hand on my thigh burning desire tingling from it straight to my groin. She gazed into the fire and started to stroke my leg driving me wild but still she didn't say anything and I wondered why.