Enia: Courtesy of Writer's Block about 4 years ago, I skipped over a section, so this transition is abrupt. I'm going to leave it as is, because the events of the hole are revealed in an upcoming EZHF Short.

REWRITTEN 7/29/15

In Madison, Wisconsin

We made it out in once piece, somehow. It was by the skin of our teeth pretty much. My fire spread, and though it managed to destroy all the munchers, it also blocked most of the exits. Onyx and I found Minka running down a hallway, and we joined forces. The guards barely paid us any mind, too busy running around and screaming for their mommies.

The all powerful government employees were very unimpressive, though I did get to check out a hot lady guard. So that was a plus.

We left through the front door as the fire trucks began to pull up, and we were able to slip away through the desperate pandemonium. The three of us wandered the streets, feet tired, clothes singed, wondering what to do next.

"Took my goddamn machete," Onyx muttered for the tenth time.

Minka and I ignored her again. A block later, we started tossing out ideas for our next step. "Let's contact Max Brooks," I suggested.

"Doesn't he live in, like, New York?" Onyx pointed out helpfully.

"Ah shit."

"We could go raid a pizza joint," Minka said. "I'm sure no one would notice."

We stared at her for a second.

Ten minutes later, we were sitting on a low stone wall with hot, cheesy pizza burning our fingers. "Mmm," I mumbled happily. I was ravenous. There was mac and cheese on my pizza. It was heaven.

Brief interlude over, we started walking again, wandering really. I didn't know where we were. Not the city, not the state, not even the street. My sense of direction sucked.

Onyx led the way onto another unfamiliar street. A dark silhouette stood frozen in front of us, a rank smell rolling through the air. She backed into me when a low moan rumbled like thunder.

I looked around hurriedly for a weapon, but the small street was bare except for the snow. The best we could do was run, but that would mean leaving the muncher to attack some other poor sod.

This was probably going to end badly.

Mud on a shit stick, Enia. You're an idiot.

What? I asked the voice in my head.

Are you an elf or not, dumbass?!

Oh yeah. It was all so new that I had forgotten about it.

I stepped forward, confidence returning, and clapped my hands together. Two bricks flew out of the buildings on either side of the muncher, crushing its head to a pulp. Dark blood flew through the air, splattering the ground, and the body slowly pitched forward.

"The hell did you do that?" Minka asked.

I pulled the hat from my head and flicked one ear. "We've got our powers back!"

"So I can change into a giant ass-busting horse now?" Onyx demanded eagerly, eyes flashing.

I shrugged. "I assume so."

Minka and I watched as the ginger wiggled her nose back and forth in tense concentration. A flicker ran through her body, and her hair danced as if a stiff breeze had caught it suddenly. Suddenly, the girl was gone, and in her place stood a gigantic, majestic horse.

Onyx towered over us. Her body was jet black, corded with thick muscles, and her mane and tail shook like fire. Her hooves were long and razor sharp, but she wasn't wearing any of the demonic armor she owned in the Horse Realm. "Ha ha ha!" she cackled, prancing over to me. "I'm finally taller than you!"

The height issue was one of our constant disputes. She had been taller than me until the eighth grade, but now our roles were reversed. My victory annoyed her to no end.

"Shut up," I told her, pouting.

"Don't tell the giant horse with the razor sharp hooves who is taller than you to shut up. I'm pretty sure it's not good for your health."

I crinkled my nose and stuck my tongue out at her.

"You look awesome and all," Minka interrupted, looking at us like we were dumbasses. "But you should probably change back; we don't want anyone seeing you."

A dark, sad look sat in her eyes. She still looked human, and she didn't know what her powers were. Or if she even had any.

Sniffling. Onyx changed back into a human. I prodded her in the ribs. "I'm taller than you again."

Onyx ripped both my arms off and pounded me in the head with them. Minka stole them back as I sat crying in a pool of blood and reattached them.

Hey, Enia, Samik popped into my head, sounding cheery. Come to Creekside.

"Guys, Samik wants us to come to Creekside Park," I announced.

Onyx wiggled her eyebrows like she was about to say something sarcastic about the two of us, but I glared at her and threatened to kill her violently if she did. She turned the insult into a question, sounding as innocent as she could. "Do either of you know where we are?"

I shrugged.

Minka shrugged.

The invisible boy beside me shrugged.

My pet Pikachu shrugged.

"Let's get out of this alley first," Onyx suggested. "The zombie smell is making me want to puke."

Fifteen minutes of aimless wandering later, we found ourselves in a populated but unfamiliar square. A news stand bursting with papers and overpriced candy sat to my right. "You know," I said as we walked over to it. "I don't think I've ever actually seen a news stand before."

"Me neither," Onyx agreed.

Minka shrugged noncommittally.

I picked up a newspaper and shook it open. I noticed the date first. It was December 23, 2012. Two days had passed in the blink of an eye. I cursed when I saw the city of publication in the corner. "Shit, we're in Wisconsin."

"That's, like, eight hours away from Iowa City, right?" Onyx asked, groaning.

"More like three," Minka corrected.

A relieved expression cascaded over Onyx's face.

"That's still a long way," I pointed out before she could get too excited. She flipped me off.

"We could hitchhike," Minka said.

Before I could harp on how that always worked out so well for people, a scream shattered the silence. I dropped newspaper into the snow and snapped my head around. A newly turned muncher came staggering out of one of the side streets. It was female, a business woman in a rumpled gray suit, barely marred by dirt. The bite sat low on her ankle, and I almost didn't see it at first. She almost seemed drunk, but there was something wrong in the way she moved.

"Look out!" I yelled as the muncher lunged at a fat man with a hot dog. She caught the hem of his shirt, but it tore as he jerked back. Her moan filled the entire square, and people fled, screaming and pushing each other out of the way.

The muncher staggered towards the fountain, eyes locked on a small child who had tripped over the stone lip and fallen into the water. He sat there crying and holding his knee, too stunned to move.

The air rippled as Onyx transformed beside me, and with a look, the plan burst from its cocoon. Rearing heroically, she took off towards the muncher, slashing at its face. I sprinted at the boy, leaping into the fountain. The ice water soaked through my jeans like leeches searching for warm blood. I scooped him up, and he clung to me, shaking, as I sprang back to dry ground. I set him down, searching for Onyx.

"Don't play with your food, Onyx."

She laughed evilly before planting her hoof square in the muncher's face.

A woman – I assumed she was the boy's brother – ran up to me, holding out her arms. I gratefully handed him over. I didn't like children. She instantly started cooing over the little kid, smoothing his hair and kissing his cheeks.

Minka poked me in the ribs and nodded at the crowd beginning to form on the far side of the square. I hissed at Onyx, and we skedaddled out of there as fast as we could. I picked a road at random and we starting walking, hoping we were going in the right direction.

"We need a name," I decided, thoughtfully rubbing at my chin.

"Why?" Minka asked, raising an eyebrow.

I ignored her. "We could be the Triforce! It's perfect! You'll be Power," I pointed at Onyx, "because you're the most powerfully vicious of us all, and because Dinn is the Goddess of Fire, and your mane is like fire." I pointed at Minka next. "You can be Wisdom, because you don't stupidly run into situations like Onyx and me do." Finally, I cocked my thumb at myself. "And I'll be Courage, because Farore is the Forest Goddess, and the forest is my natural habitat."

Onyx punched me in the side of the head. I dodged back, rubbing at the sore spot. "You're such a fucking nerd," she said. "We're not all Zelda freaks like you, Enia."

"Well, we do need a name," I insisted.

"What about that thing you told me we would be when you dragged me out of bed?" Minka asked. "Elite Zombie Hunting Force or something."

"E.Z.H.F?" I stuck my tongue out in disgust. "That's boring. And also a mouth full."

"Do you have anything better?" Onyx demanded, continuing and cutting me off before I could open my mouth. "Something that's not the Triforce."

"Fine," I grumbled, folding my arms with a huff. I still thought the Triforce was a better name.

And thus the Elite Zombie Hunting Force was born.

Samik: And Enia's extreme nerdiness comes out.

Enia: Shut up. Don't make me sic my Pikachu on you.

Samik: Oh no, I'm so afraid.

Enia: You should be. You should tremble in fear.

Samik: Sure, Enia. Sure.

Please leave a review!