REWRITTEN 9/23/15

Zeus on the Loose

"I know just the person…" I trailed off into a dramatic silence and tapped my fingers together like an evil genius, quirking one side of my mouth into an equally evil-looking smirk.

"Well, don't leave in suspense," Minka drawled drily.

"My friend Zeus," I answered, narrowing my eyes at her. "Also known as Zeus on the Loose."

"Why?" Onyx asked, narrowing her eyes.

I shrugged. "It's her Fanfiction penname."

"Who is this person?" Teemo demanded, stroking the hilt of his broadsword.

"I literally just told you that she's my friend, Zeus." I rolled my eyes at Samik, and he smirked. "We go to school together. She's cool."

"Isn't Zeus a human god?" Arin wondered.

"Yeah, but we're pretty sure there's no relation," I said and led the group down a poorly lit street.

Gods, we were like a fucking PSA on how to die during the zombie apocalypse. Max Brooks would be so, so displeased with us.

Oh well. It was more fun than living the safe life.

Every single streetlight had burnt out and was covered in a layer of snow. The night sky was cloudy, and soon I realized that I could barely see my hand in front of my face. My friends disappeared into formless shadows, barely distinguishable from the rest of the night.

I snapped my fingers, and a ball of fire popped to life in the center of my palm, floating a half an inch above the skin.

A gray, ripped face appeared before my eyes, blood streaming from its mouth, its throat a ragged hole.

"Oh fuck me." The thought was barely half-formed when the muncher's hand lashed out and sank into my jacket and shirt. The corpse yanked me towards its yawning mouth as I shrieked incoherently at the top of my lungs, its stench clogging my nostrils, my other senses, my ability to think.

My foot slipped on a patch of ice, and I fell, dragging the muncher with me as it clung to my shirt with its death grip, teeth snapping closer and closer. I cracked my head against the cement when I hit the ground, and colored stars burst out across my vision, illuminating the night sky but obscuring the face of the muncher above me.

In the distance, I could hear someone screaming, but I couldn't tell if it was me or on of my friends.

Blind, I slammed my hand upwards, and it struck something cold and yielding. I pushed upwards as hard as I could and felt the muncher's body lift, though it twisted and thrashed against me, still holding onto my shirt and attempting to use that leverage to draw me to its mouth.

I still couldn't see. The fireball had gone out as soon as I'd fallen, and the sparks were still cavorting across my eyes. The muncher's free hand scrabbled at my face, searching for purpose, but I snatched my head away again and again.

And suddenly, the weight was gone, lifted off me by an unseen force. I heard the thud as it hit the ground, the sharp crackle of flames, and then a silence filled only with the sound of ragged breathing.

"Enia?" Samik's voice intruded on my shock.

I shoved myself into a sitting position, trembling, and finally blinked away the stars. "I'm fine. It didn't get me."

"Boo-fucking-yah!" Teemo bellowed at the sky. "I killed one of them! Enia, I killed one of them!"

"Good work," I said, holding out a hand. Samik grabbed it and hauled me to my feet. I brushed the dirt and snow from my clothes in order to hide the trembling of my hands.

Onyx pulled out her phone and turned on its flashlight, shining it around us in a great circle. "I think that was the only one."

"And I killed it!" Teemo yelled happily, prancing about and waving his hands in the air. "Did you see me, Arin?"

"I saw you," Arin replied with a grin. "It was awesome."

Teemo cackled loudly, the sound echoing down the street.

"WILL YOU HOOLIGANS SHUT UP?" A creaky, old voice cut Teemo off like a glass wall coming down on his foot. I jumped violently and looked around, Samik pointing out the old man leaning from his second-story window. "OR I'M CALLING THE COPS!"

He slammed the window shut with a resounding thud, shaking clumps of snow from the sill. They drifted lazily to the ground, melding seamlessly with the rest of their kind.

"Sorry," I whispered, and my group cracked up. Teemo actually fell to the ground and started rolling around, holding his stomach.

"Hey, Enia," Onyx gasped through the rolls of her laughter, pointing at a green house across the street. "Isn't that Zeus's house?"

"Good eye." I wiped a tear from my cheek before it could freeze. "Okay, everybody, shut the fuck up."

Arin kicked Teemo in the side until his laughter died away and then helped him to his feet, patting him on the back as he coughed and choked. Stifling a grin, Minka joined us, standing next to Onyx.

"So, I think it'd be fun to give Zeus a little surprise," I began, the back of my neck crawling with the imagined presence of munchers. "Why doesn't everyone wait out of sight until I call, okay?"

"You're going to give her a heart attack," Onyx said with a smirk as she melted into the shadows of a large oak tree, turning off her light. I unclipped my sword belt and handed it to Samik before he left. He gave me a peck on the cheek and a mischievous grin.

Stooping, I grabbed a handful of gravel from the road and darted across Zeus's lawn until I stood below her window. I cocked my arm and flicked my first stone into the air. It pinged against the glass before falling back to earth. I threw a second rock, and then a third before a disheveled looking Zeus appeared at the window and shoved it open.

"I've come for you, my love!" I cried as soon as she stuck her head outside.

"Darling," Zeus sighed, hands going to her heart. "I knew you would come for me! I will be down in less than a jiff!"

She disappeared from the window, slamming it shut with a puff of snow. The wind swept it up and carried it across the dance floor. I darted over to her steps and leaned casually against the decorative pillar, crossing my ankles and my arms. The porch light clicked on with my movement. Thirty seconds later, the door swung open, gusting warm air, and Zeus appeared, a fluffy, grey bathrobe wrapped over her reindeer pajamas. I pushed away from the pillar and went down on one knee in front of her. I stretched my arms out to her. "Come, my love. We must be away from here."

Zeus sat on my knee and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I thought you'd never come for me," she said into my hair.

"I will always come for you," I said dramatically, and finally, Zeus could take it any longer. She burst into laughter, shaking so hard she almost threw me to the ground, and stood up, pulling me after.

"What the hell are you doing here, Enia?" she demanded. "It's, like, what? Three in the morning?"

"Um, zombies?" I said, using my 'uh duh' voice.

Zeus rolled her eyes and retreated back to the doorframe. "Come on. Everyone knows that was just some horrible hoax."

"What to see one?" I asked, all notes of joking erased from my words. I brushed the melting snow from my knees and moved closer to her. "There's one out on the street. Teemo killed it about five minutes ago."

Her eyes narrowed. "Who's Teemo?"

It was time for the moment of truth. If I told her the truth about me – about what I was – would she freak out? Or would she accept me and come with me? I was fairly confident that she would be cool. Zeus loved all things magical and strange, but I also knew what they said about assuming.

I pulled the snow hat off my head. "You remember all those times I joked about being an elf?" I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, drawing her attention to the way it was pointed. "Yeah, I wasn't joking. Teemo is my elven father."

Zeus came out into the cold again, an incredulous look plastered across her face. She reached out a finger and lightly touched the tip of my long ear, instantly withdrawing her hand, a gasp caught in her throat. "It's…real."

"Yeah." I rolled my wrist and showed her the tiny ball of fire that flickered above my palm. "Magic is real, too."

The biggest grin I'd ever seen split Zeus's face, practically outshining the porch light. "I know magic is real. I can do some too."

I took a shocked step back – talk about not seeing something coming. "What? Really?"

"Yah." She ran her finger from the crook of her elbow to her wrist, and in an instant and a flash of light, she was gone, replaced by a large, silver hawk. She stretched her wings and cawed at the sky, sending a shiver down my spine.

My jaw dropped open, and I couldn't remember how to close it. Zeus transformed back to human and shut it for me with a tap and a smile.

"Bro, that's fucking awesome!" I shouted, pumping a fist into the air. Zeus grinned, cheeks going slightly red. I seized her by the hand and dragged her away from the house. "That seals it. You're totally joining my Elite Zombie Hunting Force! Come meet the rest of the gang."

Zeus allowed me to force her down the sidewalk, trailing her free arm out behind her. The other five members emerged from beneath the snow-laden tree. Arin was carrying Teemo's broadsword, and her husband wore a sulky look on his face as he followed close behind her.

"So, Zeus, you've already met Minka and Onyx," I said after we'd come to a halt across from the others. Onyx flashed into her horse form long enough to strike a heroic pose before returning to human. Minka gave her a one finger salute, and Zeus waved back.

"Next is Samik. He's my boyfriend and also an elf," I continued.

Zeus giggled and prodded me in the ribs as Samik waved hello. "You've got a boyfriend?"

"Yes, now shut up."

She subsided after giggling to herself one last time.

"And finally, we have Teemo and Arin. They're married, and they're my parents. Yes, I know they only look a few years older than me."

"Arin stole my broadsword," Teemo informed us, pouting.

"After he almost chopped off my head," Minka interjected.

"It was an accident!" my father whined. "I said I was sorry!"

"And I said it would be better if we retained all our limbs at least for one night." Arin tugged the weapon away from his pleading grasp. "You'll get it back…sometime."

"Your family is weird," Zeus laughed. "But awesome."

I grinned at her. "Thanks. I like them."

We turned away as Teemo launched himself at Arin, forgetting that they were surrounded by snow and that Arin was a master at manipulating water. "So what do you think?" I asked my friend. The wind caught her chin length, brown hair and fingered the very slightly curling strands. "Want to join us?"

"I'd love to. What exactly does this Elite Zombie Hunting Force do?"

I raised an eyebrow at her. "We hunt zombies."

Zeus reddened. "Oh right. Sorry. Still new to this who 'zombie apocalypse' thing."

"Things are pretty quiet right now, but I'm sure it will pick up soon enough."

I shouldn't have said it. I should not have said that things would pick up soon. Of all the things that could have come out of my mouth, those were the words that fought past all the others to sit on my tongue. Just my fucking luck.

The final syllable has barely fading into thin air when the sirens shattered everything.

Enia: Howdy-ho. First off, Zeus, your name is a bitch to type. Just in case you're curious. Secondly, I'd like to thank Zeus on the Loose and David the Scottish Werewolf for their reviews. And I'd like to thank David for his awesome idea. It will come into play soon.

Samik: I'm still not sure I like that idea.

Enia: Who's the authoress here?

Samik: You are, but I still don't like it.

Enia: Stop whining. You know you'll always be the only one for me.

Samik: Aw, thanks, Enia.

Enia: Your welcome. Now, in other exciting news: I've dyed my hair green! It's a very nice dark green, and I like it a lot. Hopefully, swimming won't make it fade to fast. If it does, I've still got some dye left in the bottle.

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