CHAPTER FIVE
NATALIE POV
"The nerve of that man. Who does he think he is?" I scream.
"Natalie, please," says Andrew.
"No Andrew you are not going to stop me tonight. I have had it. I am going to see Hana tomorrow and get myself a gun. If he harms one hair on his head I will kill him," I say.
"Natalie. The children," says Andrew.
"No Andrew they need to know. I heard what Marcus just said to Tobias and I can promise you I am not having it. I promised Evelyn that I would look after him. I can't believe he has done what he already has. No, I'm not putting up with this anymore," I say.
"We joined this faction for a reason Andrew and it is nothing like what we thought it would be. The corruption is at the highest level. Marcus is a disease and we shouldn't be supporting him," I say.
"Natalie I don't think this conversation should be spoken in front of the children," Andrew tells me. I look over to see Tobias, Caleb and Tris all standing together. Tris is holding Tobias and Caleb has a hand on both Tobias and Tris's shoulders. It is the most comforting sight I could ask for at this time. And for that I need to give these children the best of me.
"Andrew I think the children do need to hear this conversation. I don't want the children to have to suppress who they are and that is what is happening. Caleb is hiding books in his room; he shouldn't have to hide books Andrew. You of all people should understand that. He should be able to read and educate himself if he wants. Who are we to stop him from learning, isn't it more selfish of us to not encourage our children. Why should Beatrice be scolded for asking a question at dinner? Wouldn't it be better to give her the correct information than to try and hide behind our faction? Curiosity isn't selfish, but again aren't we being selfish by not encouraging our children. Tobias has a sculpture that his mother gave him. He should be able to have that on show. He should be able to remember her however he wants. We aren't supposed to have photos, so it isn't like Tobias has a photo of his mother he can look at. I want to be able to hear children laughing in our home. I want to hear their footsteps as they run down the stairs. So I am being selfish. I don't care anymore Andrew, I want our family to have our own rules not rules that someone else has given us. I know we have to act a certain way in public but here in our own home I want us to make our own rules," I say.
"I think you are right," Andrew says.
"You do?"
"I do," he says.
"Well how about we make dinner and afterwards we can sit down as a family and decide our own rules," I say.
"I think that is a good idea. Now how about we make the dinner? And I think you three can go upstairs have your showers. Put your pyjamas on and we can then eat dinner and talk," Andrew says.
All three children seem a little stunned and they slowly make their ways up stairs while Andrew and I get dinner ready.
Once dinner is finished and we have cleaned up we go to the lounge room and we all sit down together. I am sure that Beatrice will be the first with questions. She can't seem to help herself with her curiosity. But I am surprised when I hear Tobias speak up.
"I'm sorry," he says with tears in his eyes. "This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me."
I get off my chair and I go and crouch in front of Tobias and I take his hands in mine. "No darling, none of this is your fault. Please don't ever think that," I say. It breaks my heart that he would blame himself for everything that has happened.
"Tobias what has happened to you, what Marcus did to you is not your fault," Andrew says. "We promise that we will do everything we can to protect you. We want you to feel safe here. We want you to know that we, and I mean all of us, want you as part of our family. I for one am glad we found out what was happening and I am glad that we have been able to stop this from happening to you. So I want no more talk of it being your fault. We don't raise our hands in anger in this house so you can believe that you will be safe here."
Tobias starts to cry and I wrap my arms around him and let him cry it out. The poor child has probably not felt this safe in such a long time. I still can't believe Marcus could treat him the way he has.
Once he has finished crying I leave him and go back to my seat. Tris is holding his hand now.
"Mum who is Hana?" Beatrice asks.
"Hana is a friend Beatrice," I say.
"Can she really get you a gun?" Beatrice asks.
"Yes she can," I say.
"How?" Caleb asks.
"Well I am not originally from Abnegation," I say.
"You're not?" Beatrice asks and I can hear the shock in her voice.
"No I was Dauntless," I say. Watching as the children all sit here with open mouths. It is times like this that I wish we did have cameras in Abnegation.
"What made you pick Abnegation?" Caleb asks.
"Well I fell in love. I knew I wanted to be with that person for the rest of my life so we decided to transfer to a different faction," I say.
"So dad is from Dauntless too?" Beatrice asks.
Andrew starts to laugh. "What's so funny?" Caleb asks.
"Your dad has never been a fan of the Dauntless faction," I say. "He thinks they are a bunch of hellions."
"What's a hellion?" Beatrice asks.
"So dad was Abnegation?" Caleb asks.
"No I was from Erudite," Andrew says. "I think that is where you get your love of books Caleb."
"So why Abnegation?" Tobias asks.
"Well Andrew didn't want to stay in Erudite and I knew he wouldn't be comfortable in Dauntless so we decided to start fresh in a new faction," I say. "We both knew we wouldn't fit into Candor, so it was between Amity and Abnegation. Neither of us felt we would be happy in Amity so we chose Abnegation."
We all sit there for a few moments as the children take in the information we have given them. It feels good, letting the children asks questions. Getting to know us not just as their parents but as people. It feels right and I'm glad we are being open with them.
"Now you all heard what your mother said earlier and I agree. We want you to be able to talk freely within these walls. We want you to be able to laugh and be happy. Caleb I don't want you to have to hide the fact that you love to read. But you will all still need to uphold our faction's rules when we are outside of our home. It is very important that we all do this. Do you all understand?" Andrew says.
Tobias, Caleb and Beatrice all sit there nodding their heads.
"Okay, I think this has been enough information for one night. Now I want you all to go up and get ready for bed. We will be up to say goodnight soon," I say.
I wake in the night to screaming. It takes me a moment to get my bearings and realise that it is Tobias. I jump from my bed praying that Marcus hasn't come to get him. I run into Tobias's room and I see Beatrice has got here before me.
She softly shakes him awake and he sits upright in bed and is breathing heavily with sweat covering his body. She wraps her arms around his body and tells him it is okay and that he is safe.
I get him a change of clothing and come back over to the bed and I sit down with both of them. "Tobias are you alright now?" I ask.
"I think so," he says. He still looks shaken to me.
"Go and get out of those clothes and have a shower, that will help you to get back to sleep," I say.
Tobias takes the clothes from me and walks out of the room to take a shower.
"Beatrice I think it might be a good idea if you stay here until he gets back. Just stay with him until he falls asleep. I think he is going to need all of our support to get through this," I say.
"Will he be alright momma?" She asks me with so much worry in her eyes.
"Sweetie I'm not sure. We just have to be here for him, okay? I don't think it is going to be something he gets over very quickly," I say.
"I hate Marcus," she says.
I know I should scold her for such harsh words but I feel exactly the same way. "I understand you do darling but we need to keep that to ourselves. Now don't stay up all night with Tobias. He needs to get his sleep so his back can heal. I give my daughter a hug and whisper, "it's going to be okay baby girl. We will get through this together." I give her a kiss on her head and walk out of the room, praying that what I have said to Beatrice is true.