REWRITTEN 12/6/15

Enia: I CAN MAKE A FORT IN MY DORM ROOM!

Also Onyx would like me to tell you that the original idea for Comp was hers.

A Comp Off

"Comp…" I began dramatically, entwining my fingers before my face and gently resting my thumbs on my bottom lip. I eyed each of my companions in turn. Onyx was practically buzzing with excitement. "Short Compression. A game of wits, speed, and agility." Each word left my mouth like a dart, spearing snowflakes to trees. "Stomp on your opponent's foot, and you win! Anything goes," I paused, scratching at the back of my head when I noticed the gleam in William's eyes, "except for maiming and/or killing. Onyx and I will give you a demonstration, and yes, Onyx, smashing someone's foot flat is a considered maiming, so no horse form."

"Damn it!"

We stalked away from each other and spun around when we were about ten feet apart, performing our specialized salutes. I stuck my tongue out, put my thumbs in my ears, and wiggled my fingers, while Onyx did this weird hand-down-face-chest-thump-thing that I didn't even know how to describe properly. Onyx attacked first, rushing towards me with her head lowered. I spun to the side and lunged for her feet, snapping my knees up and down rapidly. She jumped spastically out of the way kicked me in the thigh. Shocked expression on my face, I promptly kicked her back.

We circled away from each other, jumping in and out of the circle of no-man's land as we tried to fake the other out. Onyx attempted to head butt me in the stomach, but I shoved her away, jabbing rapidly at her feet with my own. She shifted away and stomped on the ground ferociously, face set in an angry mask of determination. I slipped back a few feet and waited.

Finally, Onyx calmed down and began to close in slowly. She leapt forward, and I skidded back without actually lifting my feet from the ground. Dodging around her flailing kick, I attacked her foot as soon as she put it back on the ground, and from then on, the battle turned into a random flurry of motion as we each tried to gain the upper hand.

Two minutes later, we separated, panting slightly. Comp was an incredibly good workout. It should be taught in schools.

Onyx took advantage of my momentarily lapse and pushed the attack, forcing me down the sidewalk and towards a dark building. Huffing, I leapt and spun, but Onyx wouldn't let me regain the offensive. I hopped up three porch steps, trying to move faster than my opponent, but she was right on my toes. She drove me into the corner of the porch, and then there was nowhere for me to go. Attacks were coming from all directions. Sooner or later, I would make a mistake, and I couldn't allow Onyx to gain bragging rights over me.

So I did the only thing I could.

I called it the Spazz Defense/Attack. Screwing my eyes shut, I jerked my legs up and down in a frantic, lightning fast motion that I had absolutely no control over. Marvel of marvels, my foot slapped down on top of Onyx's. Immediately, she growled under the breath, whacked me on the arm, and stalked away.

I straightened, letting out a relieved breath, and fixed the bangs that poked out from under my snow hat. "And that's how it's done," I said, causally prancing down the porch steps. "Combatants, prepare yourselves."

"You're looked like a jack rabbit," Samik snorted, smirking slightly.

I tossed my head nonchalantly even though my pixie cut hair couldn't flip dramatically. "Whatever works, works. Now get ready and don't you dare embarrass me."

Samik clicked his heels together and saluted me crisply.

Samik and David faced each other, standing the same distance apart as Onyx and I had. The salutes they performed were pitiful and uninspired. Samik shot William between the eyes with a finger gun, and the wolf-boy flipped Samik off. I sighed and shook my head; I had never been more disappointed in my boyfriend. "Okay, now remember, no maiming," I called. I dropped my hands to my hips. "And I'm serious about that. William, if you hurt Samik, I will rip you to shreds and feed you to the zombies. Samik, do whatever the hell you want."

Samik grinned. "Thanks, babe."

"Totally not fair," William grumbled under his breath.

"Ready, set, GO!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

Instantly, William shot towards Samik as if he had been shocked. Samik yawned, patting his mouth with his hand, and slipped out of the way, smashing his elbow into the back of William's neck. The wolf-boy staggered away, yelling in pain. He spun back around, a snarl plastered over his face. "Penalty!" he yelled, flinging an accusing finger in Samik's face.

"Shut up and fight like a real dog!" I replied. "Or are you just a scared, little puppy?"

That got to him. William's face reddened into a tomato that had been left out in the sun for too long. "I AM NOT A PUPPY! I AM A WOLF!"

I examined my fingernails and shrugged. "Whatever you say, puppy-boy."

Puppy-Boy lunged at Samik. The elf rolled to the side and kicked William's feet out from under him. William sprawled to the ground, smacking his chin painfully on the icy cement. It wasn't even a Comp-Off. It was just Samik beating up William. I shrugged to myself. I was okay with that.

Puppy-Boy jumped back to his feet and threw a wild punch. Samik ducked, slamming his knee into William's stomach. The werewolf stumbled back, clutching his midsection.

Onyx meandered over to me, hands stuck in her pockets. She appeared to have gotten over her defeat. "This is not a Comp-Off, is it?"

"Nope," I answered, grinning.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Very much so."

We watched William get beat up some more. He was breathing heavily, fists bunched at his sides, blood streaming from his nose, but he just kept picking himself back up and flinging himself into the fray. "Tree-huggers rule!" I yelled. "Dog-boys drool!"

Samik paused to take a sweeping bow before back-handing William across the face. Blood splattered across the snow.

"Is this always what happens when they're together?" Arin asked curiously.

"This is the first time they've met in person, but on the Internet, yeah, all the time."

"This is hilarious," Teemo added, leaning his elbow on Arin's shoulder. "I just wish I had some popcorn. GO, SAMIK! BASH HIS TEETH IN!"

William wisely skittered away as Samik cracked his knuckles. The dog-boy was a mess. Blood was gushing from his nose, and one of his eyes was swelling shut. His cheek had turned a nasty shade of blue., and his shirt was ripped. He was limping, but an angry fire burned in his other eye as he attacked again, hoping to score his first hit.

"Hey guys, I just came up with a cheer!" I said suddenly. "Want to hear it?"

"No," Onyx, Minka, and Zeus said in unison.

"Okay, here goes," I continued anyways, and I began to sing in a loud, off-key voice. "Tree-huggers Rule! Dog-boys drool! William's a bore, but Samik I adore! William's a creeper, so Samik's his grim reaper! William may have fluff, but Samik is supper tough! Samik rules! William drools!"

Onyx shrugged at the others. "That actually wasn't half bad."

"Shut up, Enia!" William snarled from the street.

That only made me sing louder and louder until I was bellowing at the sky. "TREE HUGGERS RULE! DOG BOYS DROOL!"

"SHUT UP!" William roared, finally spinning away from the fight to face me.

"You can't tell me to shut up!" I yelled, flipping him off with both hands.

William left the fight and stalked towards me, rage quivering off every line in his body. "YES, I CAN! YOU ARE MY MATE, AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY!"

My parents exploded with all the force of compressed chemicals. Teemo flung himself at William and grabbed him by the front of his t-shirt. Arin was close behind. "LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE PUNK!" Teemo bellowed in William's face. "DON'T YOU DARE ORDER MY DAUGHTER AROUND! I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!"

"Why are you even here?" Arin added, her voice dangerously quiet. It was a terrifying contrast to Teemo's fiery rage. He would rip you apart, but Arin would end you. "Nobody wants you here."

William tore himself free and shook the wrinkles from his jacket. "I'm here because David is in trouble!" Everyone fell quiet suddenly, as if a thick blanket had fallen over the entire street.

"Why the hell didn't you mention that earlier?" I demanded hotly. David was one of my friends, regardless of whether or not he socialized with William, and I didn't want anything to happen to him.

William rubbed at the back of his head. "Because I forgot."

I stared at him incredulously. "How the hell did you manage that?"

William at least had the decency to look embarrassed. "I saw you, and everything else fled from my mind!"

I gaped at him open-mouthed. "Don't you dare blame this on me, you bastard!"

"Also, that was really cheesy," Samik interjected from off to the side, smirking. He got ignored.

"Well, I remembered, didn't I?" William pointed out, his voice loud and angry.

"That's not the point!" I yelled, jamming my finger repeatedly into his chest. "He could be dead by now, just because you forgot to tell us right away!"

William shoved my hand away. "Then how about we stop arguing about it and go fucking get him?"

I folded my arms across my chest, still glaring at the shape shifter. "Fine. Where is he?"

"At the library." Finally, the yelling had stopped, and the snowy silence hung heavy around us.

Of course, that was when the Panic started.

Enia: Okay, so I started this when I was thirteen and made the character fifteen. Now I'm almost nineteen and I can never remember how old my character is supposed to be. Also, I'm supposed to be doing reading for class but I can't concentrate on it. So I'm doing this instead.

I'd like to say something real quick if you'll bear with me. I've thought a lot about saying fuck it and scrapping this story. Let's be real, it's not that great. But then I see your reviews saying how much you enjoy this story or how hilarious you think it is, and I decide to keep going. So thank you so, so much. Your reviews really mean a lot to me. This story in all its whacked-up glory is for you.