2.8.21 Update: Revising these old chapters before I post new content this week. New Chapter *18* coming this week!

Disclaimer: I am not Tolkien.

AN: Hey there! I know there was a huge gap between chapters and I'm sorry! Bad news- this is shorter than anticipated. Good news- I have the next few chapters planned out and they'll be up soon. Let me know what you think!

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Chapter 7: Breaking Under Pressure

They were leaving at dawn.

Nina had to keep repeating that fact to herself because somehow she couldn't quite believe it. The elleth had spent almost every waking moment in the company of the fellowship since their arrival. At dawn she would eat breakfast in their camp. After the meal Legolas would escort her to the mirror. He always said he wandered the city and caught up with old friends while she was occupied but somehow he was always at the edge of the clearing when she came out of the visions. The afternoon was devoted to training with the men, showing the eager hobbits some of the hidden wonders of Caras Galadhon, and simply relaxing in the company of the fellowship. The Hobbits, especially Merry and Pippin, had taken to her quickly. Gimli had eyed her suspiciously for several days before grumpily determining that she was "bearable for an elf". The men she'd stayed more remote from. Between her gnawing guilt over Boromir's fate and her irrational jealousy of their sheer humanity, Nina has settled on being a friendly acquaintance. Aragorn still watched her as if trying to root out a secret but he'd yet to approach her. Legolas was… Legolas. She did her best not to think too deeply on how spending time with the ellon made her feel. He was kind and understanding and full of life. She had little in the way of romantic experience but found she was grateful their prolonged visit was coming to an end if only so she could get some space from her confusing emotions and reactions. She dreaded their departure from her life as strongly as she clung to the illusion that she could return to normal when the fellowship (Legolas) was gone from Caras Galadhon.

She had finally brought Pippin and Merry (Frodo was tired and so he and Sam had stayed behind at camp) to her flet after they'd commented that they thought living in trees was 'highly impractical'. Legolas and Aragorn had tagged along, both clearly eager to see where the Elleth lived.

"So, this is it." Nina shifted uneasily from foot to foot as the men surveyed her little home. She hadn't realized until they were actually there how barren the space was. All she'd acquired since she first arrived was another chest of tunics and leggings, and her weapons. Truly she spent more time in her brothers home than her own.

Pippin scratched the back of his neck sheepishly and commented, "It's a bit…empty, isn't it?" Immediately Merry smacked him on the back of the head.

"Don't insult Nina's house, Pip! It's rude!" The hobbit whispered harshly. Nina couldn't help but crack a smile. The Hobbits still hadn't quite realized how good Elvish hearing was.

"It is fine. I'm almost as new to this place as you are. I haven't lived here long enough to really turn it into a home." She fought valiantly to keep her voice upbeat despite the sadness that seeped into her every time she remembered her real home. "The home I grew up in was full of comfortable furniture, odds and ends, and mementos from my family. I couldn't bring any of that with me when I came here." Legolas turned from his perusal of the view out her window and gave a sympathetic smile before coming to her rescue.

"There is a wonderful view of the city from Nina's window." Legolas said, helping the curious hobbits to stand on the trunk under the window. Once they were suitably entertained and Aragorn had gone to look with them he took Nina's hand in his and gave it a brief squeeze. "Are you well?" he asked her softly enough that only she could hear.

Nina broke his gaze and stepped away from him. "I will be fine. It simply hurts to remember." He nodded at her words and motioned for her to rejoin the Hobbits who were now chatting with someone on the ground.

"Boromir wants to train. Let's go!" Merry led the way down to the waiting man. Nina paused at the base of stairs and wondered if her friends would begrudge her some time to herself or at least a few hours where she wasn't expected to be 'the elleth'.

-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-

Legolas noticed Nina's absence immediately. He stopped to let the other pass him and motioned for Aragorn to go on when the Ranger sent him an inquiring look. The man's eyes darted back to the elleth and shot his friend a small teasing grin. Once the party had moved past him Legolas returned to Nina who appeared to just be staring off into space. He took her hand and led her back up the staircase to her Flet. The prince coaxed her into sitting on the edge of her pallet and crouched in front of her but the young woman would not meet his eyes.

In the weeks the Fellowship had resided in Caras Galadhon he and Nina had become so close he felt as if he had known her every moment of his nearly 3000 years. Still, there was much she could not or would not share with him and he tried to ignore the pit in his stomach each time she withdrew like this. He knew she was grieving for her losses and she deserved to do so but Legolas felt helpless when he could not do anything to ease her pain.

"Nina, look at me." His voice was firm as he tried to knock her out of her stupor. When she didn't respond he tilted her head up to meet his gaze and was shocked to find that she'd begin to cry. Elves rarely wept and when one did it was only because their emotions had completely overwhelmed their bodies. He'd known she was hurting and they had spoken of her 'homesickness' but it had never seemed so painful to her before. Without realizing he had moved Legolas shifted to sit next to her and gathered her into his arms as her silent tears turned into hard sobs. She slung to his tunic and he could do nothing but run his hand up and down her back soothingly as she let her sadness out. When she was calm again they would speak.

Several hours later found Legolas propped against the wall with Nina still curled into him. She'd fallen asleep shortly after her emotional dam had broken and he didn't have the heart to move her despite how improper it was for him to be alone with an elleth on her bed. He was mildly surprised that one of her brothers hadn't come to find her yet since they always seemed to check in every few hours but decided to count his blessings. He could only imagine the fallout if Haldir, Rumil, or Orophin were to find them in such a compromising position despite his innocent intentions. Legolas has ceased watching her sleep an hour ago after he'd realized his thought were beginning to run down less friendly paths. He'd admitted to himself weeks ago that his feeling for the elleth went beyond the realm of friendship and had committed himself to squashing the interfering emotions whenever they made themselves known. He would not add another burden to the already overwhelmed woman.

As if sensing that he was thinking about her, the elleth stirred and began to wake. She appeared to realize exactly where she was and moved to pull away only to be stopped by his arms. He knew what she needed now more than anything else was to feel close to someone. He was more than happy to be that someone. "I'm sorry. It all just hit me at once. You didn't have to stay" She was once again not making eye contact but Legolas let it go since she'd stopped trying to get away.

"Nina, you never have to apologize to me. I am your friend." He shifted her to sit on her own against the wall and turned to look at her while maintaining custody of her hand. "Would you like to talk about it?" He'd asked the same question dozens of times before and she'd always changed the subject.

"I don't want to complain. I'm just being selfish and overemotional. Ignore me." The self-deprecation was new and the Elf found he did not like it at all.

"No." Nina looked up at his harsh word in surprise. "Clearly there is something beyond the norm which has affected you today. No one can fault you for reacting to the strain you're under. Why would you tell me of your task if I am not allowed to help you as you bear the burden?" Helplessness was never a scenario Legolas enjoyed experiencing.

It seemed his hard tone had her hackles up and she ripped her hand out of his grasp. "You want to know what's wrong with me. Fine. I have lost every person I have ever known. My entire family is dead. My friends are in another world- MY world. I may not have had much there but it was my home. I had a place. I have no place here. All I have is this stupid task to stop a handful of minor events. I don't even need to be here. Without me the story still ends the same! All of you have something you're fighting for. You have a purpose. You have somewhere to go back to! When the darkness passes what will happen to me! I know it's selfish but what am I to do when you all go your separate ways at the end of the tale. Do I come back here and live in my empty little house for the rest of time? I'm not even a real elf- I don't know if I can even sail to Valinor like the others." She got herself so worked up in her speech that she didn't notice the tears had returned. She finally looked at the ellon across from her and was grateful not to see the anger or pity she'd expected.

Sorrow for the woman next to him flooded his senses. He'd known she was having trouble adjusting but it hadn't occurred to him that she may be having trouble identifying with her new self. And it was true; he knew what the future held for him to a certain extent if they were successful. He did have a place to go. And as long as he lived, Nina would be welcome in his home he just hadn't realized she didn't know that. Perhaps he should be more clear.

"There is nothing I can say to ease the pain of your loss. The only true deaths I've witnessed have been of warriors. tHeir loss pained me but I did not love them as family. I do not know your pain. The Valar would not have brought you here if you did not have a great purpose. Perhaps for now it is simply 'stopping a handful of minor events' but you forget that each change you can make will save lives of innocent people who do not have to die. You will be saving others from the loss you have experienced. You may be unable to return to your home but you are welcome in Mirkwood. I'd say it's a fair bet you would be welcome wherever there's a member of the fellowship and you can come back to Caras Galadhon. You have your brothers and the Lord and Lady have all but adopted you. If you are truly miserable we can try to find a wizard who could return you home." That last sentence had slipped past his lips without his permission. He did not want to give her false hope as much as he didn't want her to leave.

She smiled weakly at him; all of her anger drained away "We both know I cannot return Legolas. I simply do not wish to be a tag along. I don't want to be more of a burden then I already am."

Legolas sighed. She did not understand and he could not force her to. "Nina, you are not a burden. You should get some rest. I'll see you in the morning before we leave." He gave her a kiss on the cheek (perhaps a bit closer to her lips than was appropriate) and left the stunned girl alone. He didn't see the blush take over her face or her raise her hand to cover the spot his lips had touched.

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Nina did not sleep. Nina paced around her flet one hundred and seven times. Nina emptied, refolded, and repacked her trucks. Nina cleaned her short sword, daggers, and bow until they gleamed in the faint candle light. Nina paced around her flet one hundred and four times. Nina made her bed. Nina did not sleep.

Finally, she gave up on tiring herself out and went to the mirror only to see Frodo and Galadriel. The Lady waved her into the clearing and she walked cautiously up to Frodo's side. The Hobbit was deep in a vision which seemed entirely unpleasant and Nina felt for the small man. She could imagine all too well what played in his mind at that moment. She caught him when the vision finally released him and his legs went out from under him.

"Easy there, my friend. The mirror can drown you in sorrow if you let it." Nina advised softly and she helped steady the hobbit.

"Nina?" He questioned as he finally caught sight of her face. She nodded sadly and motioned towards Galadriel. The Lady needed to speak and if Nina remembered correctly Frodo was about to offer the One Ring to the Lady of Light. This was not an event she'd ever wished to witness but it was too late to turn back now.

"I know what it is you saw. For it is also in my mind. It is what will come to pass if you should fail. The Fellowship is breaking. It has already begun. He will try to take the Ring. You know of whom I speak. One by one it will destroy them all." Galadriel's voice filled the clearing and Nina tensed in anticipation.

"If you ask it of me, I will give you the One Ring." The hobbit's hand extended, palm up, and Nina noticed that despite what she'd expected, she did not feel the call of the small golden ring as Galadriel clearly did. Maybe it was because she wasn't actually a part of Middle Earth.

"You offer it to me freely. I do not deny that my heart has greatly desired this. In place of a dark lord, you will have a queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair!" The Lady's cries diminished as she seemed to come back to herself and Nina finally let out the breath she hadn't known she was holding. "I pass the test! I will remain Galadriel." Nina's heart skipped beat. Galadriel was supposed to say she'd be sailing to the undying lands. Nina hadn't looked for a solution, she'd felt that given how many of the elves were migrating away from their forests to Valinor that Galadriel's choice was made.

Frodo's voice brought her back, "I cannot do this alone."

"You are a Ring-bearer, Frodo. To bear a Ring of Power is to be alone. This is Nenya, the Ring of Adamant. And I am it's keeper. This task was appointed to you. And if you do not find a way, no one will."

"Then I know what I must do. It's just… I'm afraid to do it." Nina felt as if she was intruding. The hobbit should not have his private pain on display. Especially to her when she was aware and unable to prevent so much of the horror coming his way.

"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. And there are those who would fight to the end to give you your chance." This last bit was accompanied by a quick glance in Nina's direction. "Come, Frodo, Nina has need of the mirror. You should rest before dawn if you can."

Frodo disregarded the instruction and stared at Nina. "You look into the mirror willingly? Do you not fear what you will see?"

"My purpose requires me to visit the mirror. I rarely like what I see but it is necessary. Go and rest Frodo. I will see you before you leave." The Hobbit looked at her calculatingly for a few more moments before nodding and following the faintly glowing form of the Lady of Light.

The mirror was difficult that night. Nina was quickly running out of turning points to check and was now thwarted by how interconnected each small decision had become. Finally, she admitted defeat an hour before dawn.

After a quick stop at her flet to change into a new pair of leggings and tunic Nina wandered to the river. The boats were waiting for the Fellowship and she longed to go with her new friends. She traced her way back to the Fellowship's camp and was pleasantly surprised to find them all awake already. The mood was solemn and there was no more than whispered conversation as she entered the clearing.

"Good morning my friends." They all looked up, surprised at her presence except for Legolas who had, of course, heard her coming.

"Nina, have you come to see us off?" Boromir asked with more cheer in his voice than she'd ever heard. He really didn't like the Elvish city clearly. Nina nodded and went around saying farewell to each of her new friends. Even Gimli willingly gave her a hug and reminded her not to let 'those elves' change her into 'one of them'.

Celeborn and the Lady's appearance stopped any reply Nina may have made. "Come, the boats are being readied. The hour of your departure approaches" Lady Galadriel led the way down to the river bank as the Fellowship gathered their belongings and followed. Nina grabbed Legolas' hand as he made for the trail.

"I would not have us part on such poor terms. I am sorry for my outburst yesterday. I know I shall be seeing you again soon but I will miss you deeply until we are reunited." She fought back the prickle of tears but Legolas had clearly seen the sheen of her eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry for my friend. I too will miss you though I do not hold the same hope of seeing you soon as you do. I fear we will be gone for quite some time." She hugged him tightly in response and hid a small smile. He would be seeing her sooner than he thought though by then Boromir will have died and Legolas would probably resent her for her part in it.

She handed him the small roll of parchment wrapped in a leather tube which held a missive for Eomer about the raids by the wild men on the riverside towns. "When you enter Rohan and are met by the King's nephew give him this from the Elves of Lothlorien. It would perhaps behoove you not to threaten his life before you hand it over." Legolas looked at her strangely but accepted the tube and put it in his pack. "Also, the next time you will see me you will likely hate me for not changing some events so I just wanted to say I'm sorry for all you're about to go through. I would have changed it if I could."

"I am sure I could never hate you. I look forward to telling you that when next we meet." He reached forward to hug her and she stopped him when they were just a few inches away from each other.

Nina had been thinking this over for weeks. She'd likely never have him look at her in that way again and she decided to capitalize on it while she could. Besides something could go wrong and Legolas could die in the coming battles so it really couldn't hurt if she just went for it. "Just in case" she said quietly before raising herself onto her toes and giving him a swift kiss on the lips before running towards the bank leaving a very stunned Elvin prince behind.