Chapter 15

A/N: Wow, even for a shortie like 14 you gave me really kind reviews! I am so appreciative! This one is nice and long, with lots of varied content. The story is moving forward! I hope you all enjoy it.

I literally went right from 14 into this and have been writing and tweaking and finessing 15 since 14 went up. I owe you reviewers many many thanks!

The story that will follow this is already in research. It will pick up pretty much where this one leaves off, and this one isn't done yet!

I own nothing to do with H50. I just play with CBS's toys.

Chapter 15

Steve McGarrett felt keenly the emptiness of the bed next to his in his hospital room at Tripler Army Medical Center. He was resting after having visited Danny, who was now in ICU after a surgery made necessary by the severe coughing fit he had had earlier that afternoon. It was now eleven o'clock, the sky fully dark and starlit. Steve could see the gibbous moon about to set below his windowsill. He wished Danny could see it.

Lou Grover had left for the night, with the promise to return in the morning. Kono had been talked into leaving as well. She was exhausted, and wanted to be well-rested for a long day of visiting tomorrow. She was determined to be there when Danny could return to his room.

Only Chin Ho Kelly remained with Steve, and he had made a bed of sorts out of chairs, pillows and blankets, and was as asleep as exhaustion and an uncomfortable sleeping place could make him. Steve was grateful to his friends. He believed Kono was full of regret that she had let so much time pass without giving Danny the respect and honor he was due. She realized her mistakes, and was awaiting the chance to ask Danny's forgiveness. She was back on track, and only needed the opportunity to let Danny know it. Her heart was again in the right place. A small doubt in Steve's mind made him hope it lasted, but she had broken Danny's (and Steve's) trust, and it would take awhile to silence the uncertainty. Trust did not return immediately.

That night, when Steve had returned with Chin, Kono and Lou to his room, he had noticed the little recorder on his bedside table. It had been moved by staff, when the room was cleaned and the beds both remade. But whoever had moved it had left it running, so it was still showing the tiny green light for audio and visual recording. He had switched it off, realizing he had something he could play for Danny, if Danny would benefit from it. If he wanted to know exactly how the meeting had gone, Steve had the means to show him. Steve knew the decision would be Danny's. No longer would he make the decisions for him and expect his partner to go along with it. He would, if Danny accepted the partnership, make him a full participant in decisions. Steve switched the recorder to OFF and set it aside. The meeting would speak with Kono's own voice in Danny's favor. And Lou's.

But upon thinking about it, Steve was not sure if Lou fully felt the weight of the harm he had done Danny, by holding against him things he had no right to blame Danny for. Steve and Lou might need to talk in private, but it could wait awhile. Lou had retired, and turned in his badge that afternoon. It was clear that he cared about Danny, and felt bad that he was injured. That was a big improvement over what he had felt even two days earlier. Time would tell how deeply the apology ran.

Steve rested while he thought. He was now being weaned off the higher dose of nightly sedative, and had been worried enough that he had only slept a little over an hour after it had been administered. Then he had awakened, but kept still. He knew he needed to rest. If he didn't, the night nurse would probably come in and give him another light dose of sedative, and he wanted to think. It was nice to get closer to the way he usually slept, which was light and easily awakened, especially when he had a lot on his mind.

It deeply bothered Steve that Lou had wanted so badly to be his partner that he had come to resent the man Steve had chosen years before for that job: Detective Danny Williams. It was Steve's choice to make, not Lou's. Lou would never have been his choice, since he did not have the deep friendship with the man that he had with Danny, and Danny could keep up with him on the job, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Steve and Danny were truly as close as brothers. Lou was a good friend.

He wondered how much of Lou's friendship with him had been based on wanting to undermine his close brotherhood with Danny. He was just realizing that, for the past year, whenever he and Danny might have gone on an outing, whether it was camping with Grace, or fishing, or surfing, or having a quiet cookout at Steve's house, that Lou had invited Steve golfing, or out for breakfast, or anything that got him away from his partner. Cookouts turned from private to Five-0 socials, with everyone present and Lou doing most of the cooking, which usually led to jabs at Danny for what he would and would not eat, and from there to 'shooting fish in a barrel' as Kono had put it, always at Danny's expense.

Danny had gone through a rough year, starting with the bone marrow transplant to his son, his son's recovery, and working out with Rachel the custody arrangement he would have with the son that had been kept from him until a medical emergency had forced Rachel to tell him that Charlie was even his son. It had been easy enough for Lou to fill in some time Steve would normally have spent with Danny, but it had gone beyond that. And during so much of what Steve and Lou did, the subject of Danny and how 'different' he was would invariably come up. Steve hadn't even noticed when the teasing became more barbed, then increasingly mean spirited, because it had never occurred to him that Lou was doing anything actually hurtful. He wondered how much longer Lou would have waited to openly ask for Steve to reconsider who was his partner.

Steve realized he would definitely have to watch how much time he spent with Lou, and not let Danny become the butt of jokes.

As for the trouble simmering unnoticed among the Five-0 Task Force, Steve felt he should have seen it coming. It was their sixth year together, and problems left to fend for themselves usually made a mess after that long. In the case of Five-0, it seemed that Danny had been the one designated as the sacrificial lamb, because he was not a man who kept his problems or opinions to himself, and this year, he had had a lot of problems, not the least of which was that he had felt his 'ohana' slipping away from him.

This past week had made that clear to him, as Danny had admitted a couple days earlier. Now that things were on the mend, Danny was the only one who didn't know it.

Steve was glad things had been cleared up with Kono. Danny might take awhile to trust her again, but once she explained why she had seemed to stop caring, he was sure his partner would forgive her, and there were things that could be done as an ohana to gain back the trust. Already Steve was thinking beyond his hospital stay, his recovery from the liver transplant and the other wounds from gunshots that had almost cost him his life. He wasn't ready yet to think about the changes he would have to make to his life because he had come this close to dying. Had Danny not been an essentially perfect match for him to be a living donor for the liver Steve needed, he would have been buried someday last week.

It was a sobering thought.

But he would process that later. He wasn't ready yet. He knew what the changes were that he had to make, and accept, but was taking his time digging into how he felt about all of it. Right now, he had his hands full with putting his ohana back together. He felt guilty that he was the cause of Danny's trials right now. 'That stupid pineapple,' he thought, and wished he had one to smash.

H50 H50 H50 H50

Steve was startled when Dr. Cornett came into the room, and quietly went about checking his readings on the machines he was hooked to at night. He heard the doctor yawn before he finally realized Steve was awake. "Sorry if I disturbed you, Steve. Dr. Simmons is hung up in a long surgery, and he asked me to check on you."

"How's -"

"Danny is holding up well. No change from before." It wasn't exactly hard for Cornett to read Steve's mind.

"I want him to get well. Danno has been through one setback after another."

"Tell me about it." He sighed, then did not quite manage to stifle another yawn.

"Doc, don't you ever sleep?"

"Sleep? What's that?" He rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, I'm tired. I'm just staying close to Danny for a couple more hours. Then I can power-nap. I have one of the most comfortable loungers ever made stashed in the back room of my office. But ICU also has a cot for the doc on call. That's me." He frowned at Steve. "You should be asleep."

"I'm being weaned," said Steve. "I woke up and wanted to think. I'm behaving."

"Hmm. Maybe being weaned too fast. You need your rest."

"I am resting. I just needed to think. I haven't had time to do much of that since the whole plane crash and transplant." He pointed over towards Chin, sleeping on his makeshift bed. "Lots of visitors."

Cornett frowned in thought. "Maybe you can answer me something. Until the other day, I was only aware of Danny's daughter visiting him, sometimes his little son. It was nice today to see more people here who cared about him, but I'm not sure I should allow Kono and ... the big guy ..."

"Lou. Lou Grover."

"...Lou to visit Danny until he is out of ICU. His heart rate did some unhappy things when they were in earlier tonight. But Danny responded very well to you and Chin."

So, even unconscious, Danny had reacted poorly to the two people he was afraid had locked him out of the Five-0 ohana.

"Yeah, doc, that's what the meeting this afternoon was about, actually. Danny had that coughing fit before it was over, and so he doesn't know that things are a lot better now."

"Until he does, I will have to restrict them. It should only be for a couple of days, three at the most."

Steve nodded, and yawned. "I understand. I'm sure they will, too. -You really think Danny's going to make a full recovery?"

Cornett nodded. "The pneumonia was opportunistic, because of the fall, and we caught it early. Once we cure that, he needs to rest his ribs and get some fresh air." Cornett hesitated. "I may be overstepping here, but ... someone hurt him; I can tell. Call it doc's intuition. I can feel that he is hiding some depression, and depressed patients take longer to heal. Should I know something that gives me an edge to better help him recover?"

Steve was startled, and felt that he had to be honest, while not naming names.. "Yes. Some people let him down recently. And Hawaii only cares that I didn't die, not that Danno, er, Danny is the hero who saved my life. He's not a glory seeker, but he knows I got lots of cards and stuff, and nobody thought of him or went to visit him."

"I think that would get to anyone. One more thing: the woman he was with a year ago, Melissa -I have not seen her coming to see him."

Steve lowered his voice, in case Chin was listening. "I don't know everything, but she went back to New York shortly after Valentine's Day. Danny doesn't talk about her, and with him, the only problems he has that we need to worry about are the ones he doesn't talk about. I know he's not dating anyone new."

"Ah. That would explain a lot. Unfortunately, those are the wounds docs can't heal. But I know what to work around now. Thanks." He gave Steve a pat on the arm, avoiding entirely the healing bullet wound. "Try to get some sleep."

"You too, Doc. Thanks for taking such good care of Danno."

"My pleasure. I'll just wander back down to ICU." He waved, and Steve settled down to sleep. He never realized that Cornett had slipped a little more sedative into his IV.

H50 H50 H50 H50

In the next two days, Danny made steady progress in healing. His lungs needed suctioning only a few times in the first 24 hours, but after that, his fever lessened to within a very few tenths of normal, his labs were coming back with marked improvement, and he no longer needed suctioning. The pneumonia succumbed to the antibiotics and other treatments, and with that hurdle cleared, his breathing grew stronger, and with that his blood-oxygen readings.

Grace had not been able to visit, for she had caught a cold. She was promised an extra-long visit with her Daddy when she was well.

Danny's absence from the room was most noted by Kono, and somewhat less by Lou. Lou, upon being told that he was not allowed to visit Danny in ICU, had taken it in stride and decided to use the time he would have spent there in getting the paperwork settled for his retirement and getting started on all city and state permits for him to start up his consulting firm. He still spent hours a day with Steve, Chin, and Kono, always asking solicitously after Danny.

Kono had taken the restriction hard, however. Now that she had her emotions in line with her heart, and was wanting badly to ask his forgiveness, it had hurt her to know he had even reacted poorly to her while unconscious. "I guess this is a way of understanding how Danny felt for so long, wondering if we really cared, and thinking a lot of the time that we really didn't."

Steve and Chin visited as often as Dr. Cornett allowed. Each time, Danny's heart rate and overall condition improved slightly.

H50 H50 H50 H50

It was the third day since the coughing fit, and Danny was grateful to not know much of what had occurred during the time he had been unconscious. He knew that when the sedation had been lifted and he found himself in ICU, with Things attached to him and a Very Unpleasant Thing down his throat, he had started to panic. But his body wasn't paying a lot of attention to commands like "Shout" and "Use bad words" and "Rant" and "Rip out that tube!" because of two things: the Very Unpleasant Thing down his throat, and his extreme fatigue. Panicking took way more energy than he had. He realized that he wasn't quite all there yet, and this was proven by the blurry quality of his vision, and the fact that sounds seemed to come from the Star Wars Universe -someplace far, far away.

What he was hearing, however, was very encouraging. "You are doing really well, Danny." That was Cornett, and Danny had an odd vision of him dressed as Obi-Wan the elder, without the beard, but not that old. It made sense to Danny, but he wasn't sure why. "We are removing the endotracheal tube, if you will just be still for a couple more minutes ... "

He heard that clearly!

Okay, that two minutes was quite unpleasant, but the end of it was that the wretched tube was gone and Danny wasn't even upset that his throat burned and throbbed. When Cornett asked him how he felt, he rasped, "Happy," and smiled. His Doc smiled back. "You are going back to your room with Steve. You have some friends who have waited quite awhile to see you!"

Danny felt memory rushing in, and he stopped smiling. "Who?" he asked, and when told it was Chin, he was fine with that, but somehow he knew Kono and Lou would be mentioned afterwards, and when they were, his heart rate picked up a little speed, for all the wrong reasons. "Oh. Uh, that's nice," he said, but his voice rasped practically into nothing, and the doc held a straw to his lips, giving him time to take a couple of sips of water.

Cornett leaned down and whispered, "I can have visitors wait until you feel more up to it. It will take a little while to get you settled in your room, anyway. You don't have to deal with them right away."

Danny no longer felt happy. He felt like a trapped lab rat again. "I don't think I feel up to much," he admitted. "I'm pretty tired."

"How long, Danny? I can have the nurse shoo everyone but Steve out when you have had enough."

"Uh, okay. Uh, twenty minutes? Maybe they won't think that's too wussy."

Cornett frowned at Danny's choice of word. He could see the depression and anxiety taking a firmer hold. "I'll make you a deal," said Dr. Cornett. "You say 'applesauce', and visiting time is over. If you feel overwhelmed after only two minutes, you say 'applesauce' and the nurse will know to clear the room."

"Um." Danny finally nodded hesitantly. "Okay. Thanks, Doc." They were going to think what they thought, no matter how long or short the visit, and were likely only there to put on a show for Steve. He knew Kono and Lou were not there to see him anyway. They wouldn't like it if he had them sent out because he was too tired, no matter if he was or not.

Soon Danny was transferred to a gurney for the journey up to his room, trying to get his sudden anxiety under control. He was too tired to deal with it, not that it made the anxiety lessen. It made him feel shaky. He wanted to see Steve and Chin, but wished he did not have to deal yet with seeing either Kono or Lou.

H50 H50 H50 H50

It took no time at all to be transferred from the gurney to his fresh bed, and he did manage to catch Steve's eyes and smile wanly. Behind him were the rest of Five-0, looking especially delighted to see him. He smiled at them collectively, and was swarmed by two nurses who hooked him up to the monitors in the room, while his pillow was fluffed and his blanket smoothed out just right over his middle. He was poured ice water in a blue cup, and he thought everyone would have sore faces from smiling, while his heart beat too fast and his hands shook if he didn't keep them clutching at his blanket. He noticed that Nurse Bridget was unobtrusively hovering near the door.

"Welcome back," said Steve, grinning like a silly kid. But there was some tension at the edges of his grin, something Danny wanted to figure out, but had no time as Kono came and gave him a hug. "Welcome back," she whispered, kissing his cheek, and he could have sworn she meant it, except how could she? Chin was next, with a handshake and a hug. "Missed you, brah." Okay, he meant it. And then there was Lou, also swamping him with a hug, and one of his special handshakes. "You gotta stop scaring us! We brought you balloons."

"And a card," said Steve, holding up something big and brightly colored. He was trying to hide that he was as tense as a bowstring.

"And a bouquet of irises," said Kono, holding up a vase filled with the blue staple of bouquets in Hawaii and the contiguous 48 states nationwide. Danny had no clue about Alaskan bouquets.

"And a fruit basket with no pineapple in it at all," said Chin, pointing to it on his bedside table. He would have to be very careful how he turned on and off his lamp.

"Welcome home!" they all said at once, and blew party toot horns.

"Thanks, everyone. Thanks." Not exactly exuberantly said, but try as he might, he could not get the smile to reach his eyes, so he looked at his flowers and fruit and card, and four balloons tied to the foot rail of his bed.

"The Five-0 ohana is back together!" cheered Kono.

Ohana. Danny's smile hung on for dear life, but gave up when Lou wagged a finger at him. "Not quite. I'm not carrying a badge anymore, brah. I retired! Gonna start a consulting firm. You and Big Boss are definitely stuck with each other now."

Danny watched Steve's smile freeze. Everyone but Lou became tense like Steve, while Danny's smile slowly died. Suddenly everything seemed so unutterably fake that he couldn't stand it another second.

Lou had quit rather than keep working with him. A twist of the knife, AND a jibe at his height.

Before he had even decided to voice his thoughts, he said wearily, "Let's just cut the crap. I already told Steve I quit, so what 'ohana'? I know how you feel about me." He turned to Nurse Bridget. His voice broke. "Applesauce."