CHAPTER TWELVE

TOBIAS POV

I wake to find Tris is still in my bed. I don't want to move because I don't wish to wake her. I also want this moment to last as long as possible. I lie here for as long as I can when I feel Tris start to stir. I feel her go to move and I hold onto her tightly and whisper, "Please don't leave just yet."

I am starting to have doubts about my decision to leave. I know that I told Tris that it is only two years but what if she decides to stay here? What would I do if she did stay in Abnegation? Could I live with that? I hate the decision that I have to make today. I hate that Marcus is the person that he is and it is because of him that I need to make this decision.

"Tobias," Tris says.

"Yeah."

"Stay," she whispers. "Please don't leave me."

She turns and faces me and I can see the tears in her eyes. Oh god, why does this have to be so hard? How can I take these tears a way? How can I make this easier on us?

"Are you sure that you want to stay here in Abnegation? Would you be able to be happy here forever? Do you want to have to look at Marcus every day and know what he did to me?"

"No," she says. "But I am going to miss you so much."

"I know Tris, me too," I say. "But two years will go quickly." I keep saying it will go quickly but I know that it won't. This will be the longest two years of my life. I don't even know if Tris will follow, I just have to keep hoping that she will.

"Tobias," Dad calls out and knocks on my door. "You need to get ready, it is almost time to go."

"Okay," I call back.

"Come on Tris we need to get up," I say. "Please don't make this any harder than it already is."

We get off the bed and Tris moves towards the door. "I have a present for you, wait here," she says.

I get dressed. The one thing I won't miss, the baggy grey clothing I am wearing. I walk towards my door when Tris walks back in. She is holding a piece of paper in one hand and a black t-shirt in the other.

"I stole the shirt from the distribution centre and well it has my scent on it. I know this sounds really weird but I'm hoping that if you can smell me that maybe it will stop you from having nightmares. I don't know what the sleeping arrangements are in Dauntless but if you have to share a room, well I don't want you to have to worry about other people seeing you have a nightmare," she says.

I can't help but to hug her. This is probably the strangest but also the most thoughtful gift that she could give me. I didn't think about what would happen when I got to Dauntless. "Thank you," I say.

I let her go and she hands of the piece of paper. I look down and see that it isn't just a piece of paper but a photo. It is a photo of all of us in the meadow. It wasn't often that dad came to the meadow with us but I remember this photo being taken. We had just had lunch and it took three goes before dad got the timer button to work. It is only one of a few photos of all of us together and we are all smiling. It was one of so many good memories that I have of the Priors'.

I put the photo and the shirt in my pocket. "I have to go Tris," I say.

"I know," she says.

I don't say anything else, I can't and I walk downstairs to say goodbye to my family.

The Prior's decided that it was better if they didn't go to the Choosing Ceremony. Well really I ask them not to. I thought it would only make my decision that much harder and I knew that it might stop me from leaving. It was hard enough saying goodbye at home. Mum had a few tears and so did I. Tris stayed upstairs which was probably a good thing. I know she would have started crying and I wouldn't have coped with that, Caleb and Dad both hugged me and the air was so thick with emotion. I am going to miss them all so much. I am on the bus with Marcus travelling towards my destiny. Marcus keeps repeating to me what I need to do once I get there. I'm not listening to a word he says. I just keep nodding my head slightly so he thinks I'm listening.

"Look at me Tobias," he sneers. This gets my attention. I raise my head and turn to face him. When I look closely I can see that he has a puffy eye and there is bruising starting to show. Looks like Natasha has fought back. The thought that he is beating her makes me sick. I wish I could help her but it looks like she can take care of herself.

"What happen to your eye?" I ask. I know I should stay quiet but I just can't help myself it just sorted of popped out of my mouth.

"Oh this little thing," he laughs off. "Nothing I bumped into a door."

"Finally found out Natasha was from Dauntless did you?" I know I am on very thin ice here but what can he do? We are on a bus full of people and soon I won't be in Abnegation anymore. He can't touch me.

"Don't get smart with me Tobias. It will not do you any good to upset me right now," he hisses in my ear.

I decide I am better to keep my mouth shut but I can't help the smirk that is now planted on my face. Inside I am laughing so hard that it is a wonder I'm not on the floor rolling around like a crazy person. I really hope he hasn't hurt Natasha and I am glad that she hit him back. I wish I had her strength.

I walk into the room and go and find my place in line. Marcus follows me and stands in front of me. "You know what to do," he says. "You know what the right choice is. I know you do."

I can't look him in the yes, I can't afford for him to see what I am thinking. I can't show weakness right now; I need to be strong.

"I'll see you soon," he says. I don't think so 'dad'. He moves towards the Abnegation sector and I can start to feel the freedom. Knowing that I will not have to live with the constant terror that he would take me away or just show up. He has always had a habit of just showing up when I least expect it. I could be walking home from school and all of a sudden he would be there to say hello. Or the constant Sunday church service where I would have to sit with him, although the Prior's always sat with us. I still had to pretend to be the dutiful son. I almost feel light headed with the thought of not having to deal with him anymore.

I am taken from my thoughts when I hear Max the Dauntless leader speak. "Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony," he says. "Today you will choose your factions. Until this point you have followed your parents' paths, your parents' rules. Today you will find your own path, make your own rules."

'Make my own rules', the notion sounds like a dream come true but I feel it must be a bit far-fetched. Don't all the faction have rules that we must abide by? It won't matter what faction I become a part of I know that they will have their own rules. Although after my time in Abnegation I know that rules can be stretched a bit. I would be happy to be able to be myself rather than the fake persona we had to put on in Abnegation.

I listen as Max gives a quick summary of what each factions' beliefs are. Over simplified thankfully or we would be here all day. I think about each faction even though I have made my choice. Candor, I would never fit in that faction, I learnt to lie living with Marcus and although I never had to do so while living with the Prior's. I have too many secrets I don't want people to know.

Erudite, yes I have always been good with computers but that is where my thirst for knowledge ends. It makes me think of Caleb and all the reading he always does. I'm going to miss Caleb. Amity, while I know I would enjoy the peace and the open spaces I don't comprehend the constant need to be so happy. I once overheard Marcus talking about how they put something in the bread to help them to stay happy. I just have to shake my head at that thought.

Max next talks about Abnegation. Yes, I have seen how selfless Marcus can be. The thought frightens me still, even after living apart from him for the last five years. I am shaken from my own thoughts when I hear the Dauntless start to hoot and laugh. Obviously Max is now talking about Dauntless. Yes, I think that is where I need to be. Around people who have pride in their faction and don't feel they need to hide their feelings. Although I don't think I will ever be someone who hoots or hollers the way the Dauntless do, I do like the idea of protecting our city. Of maybe being able to protect someone from something like Marcus.

"That is how we came by our factions: Candor, Erudite, Amity, Abnegation and Dauntless." Max smiles. "In them we find administrators and teachers and counsellors and leaders and protectors. In them we find our-sense of belonging, our sense of community, our very lives. He clears his throat. "Enough of that. Let's get to it. Come forward and get your knife, then make your choice. First up, Zellner, Gregory."

And so it has begun, with every name called I am one step closer to being away from Marcus. But it is also a step further from Tris. Not just Tris but Caleb, mum and dad. The only four people that I love. Am I about to make the right decision? I know they all support this decision; I know that they will love me no matter what. But can I live with the only contact being on Visiting Day? Can I wait two years before I see Tris again? That's if she does transfer. Can I live with my decision if she doesn't transfer?

I had been thinking only of Marcus since we got here and now as the names seem to be getting called at an even quicker pace I start to panic. Now all I can think of is my family. The Prior's have been so generous in their love for me, they showed me what true selflessness is. Can I betray them and really leave?

I see that the girl who was next to me has left, which only means one thing. "Eaton, Tobias," Max calls. I start to walk towards the centre of the room. I turn and look at Marcus and I see him nod his head. I look towards Max and I see a man who is standing tall, proud of himself and the faction he is in. I know in this moment exactly the man I would like to become.

I take the knife and cut into my palm, I curl my hand to let the blood collect there. I move my hand quickly so that I don't have time to change my mind. I watch as the blood drops from my hand and hear the sizzle as it hits the coals.

I am Dauntless, I am free.

For a brief few seconds there is complete silence in the room. Even the Dauntless seem stunned. I turn to face my new faction and start to walk towards them and then it happens. The Dauntless start to cheer and I look back towards Marcus. He seems stunned, other Abnegation members have started to move towards him and all I can think is thank god I don't have to ever look at him again. I stand up straighter and continue the walk towards my new faction, my new life and I know that I have made the right decision.