Stef can still remember the first time she witnessed Lena have a panic attack, she has never felt so helpless. Nothing in particular had caused it, or Lena hadn't told her but when she ran into the kitchen after hearing plates shattered she thought Lena was having a heart attack. She was gasping like she had just sprinted a mile and sweating just the same. And there was nothing Stef could do but hold her and watch her suffer. After that day Stef was always worried that Lena was too stressed, but that was thing about it. It was always out of no where , Lena would be fine for months and then all of a sudden it was there and all Stef could do was hold her a listen to heart beat out of time.

It was Stef's day off when Lena called. She had almost let it go to voicemail because she was in the middle of vacuuming, but something made her grab the phone on the last ring and the sound of the machine was replaced by Lena's crying.

" Love? Lena what's wrong."

"I ...I ruined everything Stef, I ruined it all I'm gonna lose my job and they are gonna...take the house or and we are gonna lose the kids or I don't know it's gonna be bad and I can't Stef I'm so sorry" Lena practically yelled between sobs. Her speech was so ragged and chopping that Stef knew it was panic attack and she was out of the door before Lena had finished her shpeal.

" Lena. Listen to me. I need you to focus on your breathing ok? For me love. "

"...yeah ok "

" I'm almost there ok " once she arrived Stef slammed her car door and rushed to her wife's office. Not realizing Lena was leaning against the door Stef pushed it open causing Lena to scream. " It's ok love I'm here " Stef knelt down to her crying wife , her hands were grabbing curly hair and her knees were pulled to her chest. It was always so off putting to see Lena like this. She was always so elegant and poised but she bottled it all up and eventually the pressure built up and exploded .

Once Lena had caught her breath and calmed down a bit she explained it all to Stef. Stef assured her that all the worst case senerios were highly unlikely and that everything would work out. " I gave Lexi the pill not you and as for the test...they will never be Abel to prove that. " Stef spoke softly while rubbing her wife's back , willing Lena's heart to beat a little slower or her body to stop shaking.

" I'm sorry" Lena said so quietly Stef almost didn't hear her.

" There is nothing to be sorry about Lena...you did what was right for Jude just like I did what was right for Lexi. We'll work this out...we always do."

The couple sat there on the floor of Lena's office for a couple more minutes, until Lena felt better and then headed home. The kids were all there , they had opted to walk home and they had even started dinner. " See love" Stef whispered into Lena's ear. " Everything always works out" she smiled and went to help her children set the table.

" Lena?" Sanchez enter without knocking a couple weeks later

" Uh... Yeah what's up" Lena turned her attention from her computer screen to her boss.

" Congrats! "

" Really? I got the job? Even with..."

" Everyone has smudges on their record Lena, Smith had plenty and in the end we knew you would do a better job. Beside Lexi's parents didn't put up a huge fuss after she ran away and Jude is thriving now. I would avoid doing any of that again but hey" and with that she was out the door. Immediately Lena grabbed the phone and called her wife.

" Hey Stef ? Everything's gonna be ok "

ps.I didn't like this half at all but here it is

Pss. This is how I experience panic attacks I'm sure everyone's different