A/N:

Disclaimer: Rizzoli and Isles does not belong to me (as we all know)

Apologies again for all the errors that you may find in this chapter. This is not a beta version and I didn't re-read the chapter after I typed it. Sorry. But I still hope you guys would still enjoy reading.

And thank you to all your comments/reviews. I love reading them. Also, I am welcome for any suggestions on how this story should go.

Happy reading!

'At some point you will realize that you have done too much, that the only next possible step to do is to stop.

Leave. Walk away.

It's not giving up and it's not like not trying.

It's just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation.

What is truly yours would eventually be yours and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.'

It would only be an hour before it starts. It would only be just an hour before she marries Mr. Jack Armstrong and she doesn't know how she feels about it now.

When Maura left Jane's apartment, she spent the remaining early hours of the morning crying. She couldn't even remember when the tears had stopped.

She had been broken hearted once by Ian. Her heart had been broken little by little during Jane's relationship with Casey even though she wasn't fully aware of why. She had only concluded that it was because she didn't think that the soldier deserved her best friend's love. And when Jane showed her the ring or when she had noticed the ring, even though her heart felt like it had been ripped right out of her chest -though she knew it wasn't possible- that was the only description she could come up with, she had reasoned that it was due to her not wanting Jane to move away. Ever since she became friends with Jane, her life had been different. It had been better. There were aspects in life that she had been missing and didn't realized until Jane's friendship bought it to her. Jane had been an essential part of her life. She didn't know when or even how, but as independent as she was/is, somehow, she was also dependent on Jane as well.

But what she felt when Jane remained silent when she asked her to ask her not to marry Jack, there was no word to describe how she felt then. She never, not once felt it before. It was like the devastation of finally having what she desperately wanted only for it to be taken away in an instant. It was like, baring herself vulnerable, giving everything and openly offering herself as a whole to Jane, only for the Detective to take and then gave it back broken.

Jane didn't want her.

But Jane also said she loved her.

Jane only wanted to know what it would be like to be with her. To satisfy her curiosity?

But the way Jane had looked her, the way Jane had kissed her, it didn't feel like just satisfying ones curiosity.

All these had been haunting Maura since she arrived at Beacon Hill that when she thought she could finally stop her tears, it would start all over again.

The pain was at such, she couldn't describe it. She had been known to be 'wordy' and she did know a lot of words and big words at that, but for the life of her, she couldn't find a word that could even be remotely close to how she felt and still feels.

Yes. She can only name it as her heart broken. Yes she can only describe it as painful.

But really, it was a lot more.

She felt numb but could still feel the pain. What she felt earlier when she left Jane's apartment and the feeling she still does harbor was at such state that it was and is almost physical rather than just emotional.

Everybody that had dropped by to greet her before the ceremony starts said she looked beautiful, she managed to give them a smile not that she wanted them to believe she was actually happy but because above all else she wanted to believe them.

Can anyone really be beautiful when one feels so broken inside?

She had been staring at her reflection for how many minutes or hours and she couldn't see the beauty that everyone seemed to see. In her reflection, she couldn't even see herself. Someone was staring at her, someone that looked familiar and all the same a stranger. She owns her face, but not her eyes. Maybe the same color, maybe the same shade, but she had always seen her eyes full of life and curiosity and wander and now, it stares back at her hallow.

The hazel orbs wasn't hers.

The reflection wasn't hers.

The beauty everybody had said were lies for she couldn't see. How can anyone see beauty she doesn't possess?

How could anyone look at her and not see?

And with that question swirling in Maura's usually brilliant mind another set of tears threatened to fall. She knew the answer to the question. She always had known.

Jane.

Jane was the only one that could 'see' her.

Jane, also the one that broke her.

Mother's instinct.

Maybe it had been her motherly instinct that gave her knowledge something like this would happen. She had hoped it wouldn't and she had hoped and almost believed it wouldn't. But alas, at the last minute it did.

Angela made sure Maura was all set and ready before she left to go to Jane's apartment. She had expected her daughter to be at Maura's when she woke and went to Maura's house but her daughter was nowhere to be found. She had heard Maura when she came home in the early hour of that day and Angela had thought the Doctor and her daughter were together then, coming home late or rather early because of Maura's party.

But when Jane wasn't at Maura's and hadn't been at Maura's for the preparation that needed to take place, she knew.

She knew that her daughter will never come.

So, Angela now found herself in her daughter's rather messy apartment calling out said daughter's name.

"Jane…"

Only to be met by silence.

Lounge room was empty. Kitchen was the same. Bedroom was unlock, bed unmade but also empty. Angela with a hopeful feeling that Jane might've just left to go to the wedding just was when she was on her way almost left the room. But once again, maybe motherly instinct, she made a turn to the bathroom and there her heart broke.

Inside, at the very dark corner with the shower's cold water on and her back against the tiles Angela found Jane.

Her usually confident and strong daughter, curled, hugging her knees very close and tight to her chest, head bowed and against her knees –the picture of misery.

"JANE!" Angela exclaimed and hurried to her daughter's side.

The moment she saw her daughter she was worried and only had half a mind to turn the freezing water off before gathering the mute woman in her arms. It was a good thing she hasn't changed to her dress just yet.

It had been a very long time since Jane allowed her to hold her like she does now. But never in all the years had Angela seen Jane in this state of… there wasn't even a word for the state her Detective daughter was in.

Not even her ordeal with Hoyt had made her like this.

Her eldest child didn't squirm away from her arms, she remained silent and unmoving. And she didn't think that Jane was aware of her presence or could feel her at all. Angela's hand were rubbing circles on Jane's arms and back, but raven-haired was still unresponsive. It was like only her body was there physically and it worried the older Rizzoli greatly.

"Honey…"

She whispered, turning and facing Jane towards her. If it was possible for a mother to have her heart broken more, Angela has hers just as. The look on Jane's face, blank and the usually expressive warm brown eyes empty.

Whatever happened to her daughter?

Angela, repeated to call out Jane's name even shaking the unresponsive Detective. It was futile and left Angela with just one more resort.

Sighing and apologizing in advance, Angela with all the power she could master for what she was about to do, slapped Jane's square in her face.

The loud sound of palm coming in contact with Jane's cheek resonated in the four corners of Jane's bathroom. And finally she blinked.

Angela might've felt bad and apologized profusely but didn't regret what she had done.

It was worth it.

At least her daughter's eyes shown recognition.

Blinking a couple more times, Jane looked at her mother and suddenly, tears started falling again and she threw herself in her mother's arms like she did all those years ago when she was young and has yet to learn her own strength; those years ago that was almost forgotten.

"Mom…" was what the Detective managed to utter before uncontrollable sobs wreck from deep in her chest that made it difficult to breathe.

Angela had never known it was possible for her heart to ache even more for her child, but Jane's word and the vulnerability in her tone managed it.

Once again, Angela gathered her eldest child in her arms, scooping the lanky and tall Detective like she would when Jane was a baby. Jane's arms around her shoulder and her lap half curled resting on hers.

She didn't know how long but Angela waited until Jane's heart breaking sobs stopped before she braved herself to talk.

It will only be a matter of time before her daughter could be too late.

"Janie…" Angela tried but when Jane didn't seemed to have heard or was just trying to avoid talking, Angela pulled back a little and forced her daughter to face her and meet her eyes.

Jane then had no choice. She knew the tone that her mother had used. And if she were to guess, she knew what the conversation with her mother entails.

She didn't want to have that conversation.

She didn't want to talk about it.

As soon as she left Maura by her bedroom window earlier that morning, Jane had placed herself under the cold water from her shower. She wanted to feel numb, she didn't want to feel anything. She let her mind wander away from the reality –it was her only means to escape; only it had ventured on a fantasy where in a perfect world, she and Maura could have their happy ending. Where she and Maura could be together safe and unstained by the harsh and cruel reality of their world. Where she could have Maura and not worry about her safety. And that was where Jane's mind stayed. She would've lived there in her fantasy for however long hours, but the slap in the face woke her where she found her mother's every comforting eyes.

Once aware of her surrounding, Jane reminded herself that she had made her decision and trying very hard not to regret it.

Thus why, she didn't want to discuss it and especially not with her Mother.

But if ever Jane had inherited anything from Angela, it was stubbornness. The Detective knew her mother would not let go easily.

Not this one.

And so, without the question being asked or topic being opened, she answered her mother-

"I can't Ma."

"Why?"

Angela had wondered if Jane and Maura would ever realize what everybody else knew. She resigned herself that maybe they never would and she didn't interfere. The friendship between her daughter and Maura was much deeper than any other relationship Jane had had and she knew that this one, she had to sit aside and –painfully- watch.

Without a doubt, she knew and could see that Maura loves her daughter and Jane just as much. They were best friends. But they were also something more. Their relationship was at that, it was more than friends but less than lovers. It was an unidentified territory that both brilliant women never dared to shed light on.

Angela as a bystander did. In the privacy of her thoughts, she did.

"She loves you, you know," Angela said softly but made sure to make eye contact with the familiar brown eyes of her daughter.

"And you love her too," she added. "I know you do and I know you might not acknowledge it before and denied it to yourself for however long, but I know… you've acknowledge it. You're aware of what you feel."

"It doesn't matter, Ma." Jane didn't deny, it'd be useless. With the state her mother found her in, there was no way she could lie her way around it. But then again, she didn't have it in her to lie. It was actually taking everything in her to talk.

"It does Jane!" The Rizzoli matriarch insisted. "It isn't too late! We still have time."

"No, Ma" was Jane's only answer.

"She loves you Janie. Maura loves you. She loves you the same away," the desperation in the older woman was there. Angela swore to herself she wouldn't meddle in, but as much as she loves her daughter. Her daughter can be very stubborn to a fault.

"I know, Ma."

Brows furrowed, Angela asked again "But… then… Why?"

"I can't offer her safety that life with Jack can give her," Jane explained. Other than Maura's understanding –if she would ever have the chance to explain in the future- her Ma's understanding was what she needed. Someone that would understand her reason.

"Her life is always going to be in danger because of her relation to Paddy Doyle. We're not even together and yet those psychopaths that were after me went after her to get to me! She was almost killed by Hoyt because of me. She was abducted and held captive because of me. She suffered head injury resulting a cognitive impairment because of me; forget about being Paddy Doyle's daughter, she suffered more because of me than because of her father. " Closing her eyes in frustration at the memory of Maura in those situation, Jane shook her head hoping to rid herself of those haunting images. "I can't…" unable to finish, the Detective just shook her head.

Opening her eyes and meeting her mother's hoping to convey everything in that one shared look. But Angela's showed none of what Jane was hoping for.

"I can't Ma," she repeated. "I can't have her life in danger. I can't… I won't…" with tears streaming down again, "I can't and won't be able to live with myself if anything ever happens to her Ma."

She would eat her own gun if anything happens to her beloved ME but she didn't think her mother would appreciate that thought very much if she voiced it out.

And to Jane's surprise, Angela stare hardened. Gone were the look to comfort or worry.

"Then put yourself together and get your ass to the church," the older woman ordered, pulling herself away from her daughter. It broke her heart to do so and her heart remained breaking for her eldest child. She understood where Jane was coming from but Angela never thought she would ever live to the day were her strong and brave daughter would give something or more importantly someone up because she didn't want to try.

It was noble to hear and maybe, just maybe it was reasonable. But she refused to accept that she raised Jane to give up when she should be fighting her hardest. You never give up at someone you feel strongly for just because you don't think you can keep them safe. Angela taught them, it would be better to die happy than live in sadness.

Jane of all people should know about that. Her job was what makes her happy and that was why Angela after years of being against her daughter's dangerous career had learnt to accept what she does for a living. She loves her daughter and if putting her life on the line to protect others was what will make her happy, then she would support her.

"The bridal car left just before I did, so you better hurry before the ceremony starts," Angela stated and stood.

And when the Rizzoli matriarch didn't hear any movement from her daughter she turned and saw the questioning look from the sad brown eyes.

"Maura was hurting when you were with Casey but she supported you anyway. She even found it in herself to be happy for you when you decided you'd accept his proposal of marriage because she knew it would make you happy."

The tone of her mother cold and it infuriated her. Wasn't it obvious that it would kill her to witness Maura marrying someone else?

"It would kill me to be there Ma! I won't survive it," desperation instead of the usually confidence filled tone and Jane could also hear it herself. It was shameful to sound so weak, but Maura Isles had and will always be her weakness. "I know I won't," she half whispered, pleading.

"Maura would've endured the same if your wedding with Casey had pushed through and she would've been there for you still." Angela countered. "And Jane… Maura wouldn't have had a choice."

Jane was silent. Angela walked over her daughter, her hand lifting her daughter's chin so to make sure her eyes would meet hers.

"You had." She said.

Maura had just finished retouching her make up to make herself presentable again and hide the redness around her eyes and nose when there was a knock on her door.

Uncharacteristically she sighed. She didn't want any more visitor that would tell her she looked beautiful. But glancing at the clock which showed she still have 30 mins more before the wedding starts, she didn't have a choice but to face whoever was on the other side of the door.

"Come in," she called out.

And then Frankie poked his head in.

"Is Janie here…" he asked but stopped when he saw the room empty aside from the bride. He also noticed the saddened state the ME was in.

"Are you ok?" he rushed inside after closing the door and kneeled in front of Maura.

Looking at the kind and similar eyes of yet another Rizzoli, Maura had to bite her lip trying to prevent an onslaught of emotion to take over her again. She only has 30 minutes to compose herself.

"Maur…" Frankie tried again, noticing the glassy hazel orbs that usually homed a warm hazel eyes. The crease present in the Doctor's forehead only supported Frankie's theory that something must've happened.

Jane nowhere to found and Maura this upset.

He had hoped that when he left his sister's apartment that maybe both women would sort their feelings out, but when he didn't receive a message that the wedding is cancelled, he assumed that both Jane and Maura did what they usually does again –dance around each other and pretend.

But not seeing his sister since that morning and finding Maura alone in her bridal room, Frankie knew then -they had talked, but the outcome might not have been what he had been hoping for.

So this time, maybe… it wouldn't be so bad to meddle in before more people get hurt.

"Janie's not coming is she?" He asked carefully.

Maura shook her head no.

"Maura…" Frankie started, trying to come up with a better way to say what he wanted to say. How do you tell someone who is going to get married to not get married because his sister loves her? It sounded selfish but he knew without a doubt that the bride in front of him feels the same for his sister.

Why didn't they just admit they love each other more platonically and live happily ever after?

'Women.' Frankie thought.

"Maura… Jane… she loves you," he said looking directly in the ME's eyes hoping that it would be enough.

It wasn't.

"Like… in a more that a friend kind of way," he clarified and witnessed the first tear drop from Maura's eyes and then followed by another and then another.

At this point, Frankie almost panicked and looked around for something to wipe the tears away. He was thankful when he found a box of tissue near-by. He quickly grabbed some and handed it to Maura. He would wipe the tears himself, but he didn't want to ruin the make-up.

It was almost funny in his head that he had the time to think about that, when he was trying to have this talk with the Doctor.

When Maura finished wiping of her tears but knew that it would keep coming, she let her eyes meet the younger Rizzoli's familiar ones hoping that Frankie would read through it.

He did.

Without words needed, he somehow knew.

"And you already know about it," he voiced out.

And now it was his turn to frown. Had he been wrong? Didn't Maura feel the same way? Or was she afraid of being with Jane? Jane loves her so much, she would've given up and give everything for her. Surely Maura must know that?

"Why are you still going to go through the wedding?" he asked and was met by silence.

"Don't you love Jane too?"

This time he received an answer.

"I do!" Maura said with conviction if a little bit shaky due to still trying to hold her emotion at bay.

"Then why…" he tried, trying to get his head around the two word answer he got from Maura. Assuming that Maura didn't know the extent of what his sister was willing to go through for her he decided to let her know. "Do you know how much Jane loves you?" without waiting for an answer he continued, "She would've been willing to be in Jail for you," he revealed.

"Remember when you were framed for the murder of Brad Adams? Ma went to Cavanaugh and showed a video of you doing some self-defense move. The video would've been incriminating and against you should there be a case. Jane was so angry with Ma that she even had apprehension on letting our mother inside her apartment that night."

Frankie paused and sighed but maintained eye contact with the teary hazel.

"She was upset because Ma didn't show her the video first. She said she would've deleted it."

The Doctor stayed quiet and listened. She didn't know about this story. Nobody not even Jane nor Angela had told her. She was only aware that Jane had been willing the break rules for her but not to this extent. Even without Frankie finishing the story yet, she knew that if it had been the case and Jane deleted that video and had been found out, the Detective would be in a lot of trouble not to mention losing her badge.

"I even had to remind her the implication of what she suggested and you know what she said?"

At this, slowly, Maura shook her head.

"She said, it would only be a year in prison, you were looking at a lifetime."

And at the revelation, Maura had to gasp.

"My sister didn't think twice. She was willing to go to prison for you… with you," Frankie clarified, hoping that the Doctor would comprehend how much she means to his sister.

"She would lose her job she loves, and would go to prison but it didn't bother her. And to think she didn't marry Casey because she didn't want to leave her job."

Witnessing another set of tears, this time Frankie reached and ever so gently, wiped the tears and cupping the Doctor's face with both of his hands, maintaining eye contact.

"Jane loves you that much."

Remembering the previous night she shared with Jane, the look of passion, the whispered confession and declaration from her best friend she had no doubt that indeed Jane does love her. But her action just before the sunrise says otherwise. She walked away from her.

Maura rarely gets confused, but she was at the very moment very confused.

When the ME remained quiet and seemed deep in thought, Frankie then moved his hand and covered the ones of the Doctor.

"Please… if you feel the same and I know that you do –it's obvious for everyone to see- please…"

Closing her eyes and away from the familiar brown of another Rizzoli, Maura turned her face aside. She wouldn't have gone through with the wedding. She wouldn't even think twice of cancelling, if Jane had asked her. If Jane had told her don't marry Jack and stay with her, she would've in a heartbeat. It would've been cruel for Jack, he was innocent in all this, but she would've done it for Jane.

But Jane turned away. Jane for a reason only she knew, didn't ask. She let go of Maura and walked away.

"I can't…" she whispered, even with her eyes close, tears still sips through.

Letting go of the Doctor's hand, standing up towering the weeping bride, Frankie asked, "Why?" his tone losing its gentleness. He was beginning to get upset.

"Are you trying to convince me that you don't deserve my sister's love?"

Hurt at the venom of Frankie's words, Maura opened her eyes and faced the man in front of him. With red rimmed eyes, she met Frankie's angry ones.

"I asked her! I asked her to tell me not to marry Jack," she revealed and paused, trying to get a hold of herself before she breaks done.

The anger in the younger Rizzoli's eyes then replaced by confusion with a crease in his brow. 'What?!'

"She… Jane… she…" taking a deep breath the bride continued, "She walked away."

With those words said, out loud, it felt like she was back in Jane's apartment reliving that moment. When she thought she would get what she had wanted; when she thought Jane would've ask her. But Jane didn't and her heart broke in pieces.

Maura, unable to stop herself covered her face and started sobbing.

"She may have loved me Frankie," she said in between sobs, "But she didn't want to be with me."

At the sight of the normally composed and collected Doctor Maura Isles sobbing uncontrollably, Frankie could not do anything else but gather the said woman in his arms. The same woman he had kissed once before. The one that if it weren't for his sister, he would've continued to pursue.

'Jane's an idiot!' he thought to himself as he rubbed small circles against the ME's back.

After a while and when Maura's breathing was back to normal and Frankie was able to let go so Doctor could fix herself once again, he tentatively asked-

"If you go through this wedding… is it fair to Jack? I mean…"

Looking at Frankie through the mirror as she once again, tried –in vain- to dry her face and retouch her make-up she answered, "I love him enough."

"But…"

"Frankie, Jane is… she may very well be the love of my life," she said as she swallow the lump in her throat. She wasn't going to allow herself to cry again for the umpteenth time. "But… she doesn't want to be with me. And I can't force her to. I don't want to live my life waiting if she will ever change her mind. Obviously she has her reason. She made the decision. Not me."

When apprehension still evident in Frankie's eyes, Maura added-

"I may not love Jack the best, but I know I love him enough. And who knows, maybe in time, I could love him the same if not more."

"You're guessing."

A small smile crosses Maura's lips and she was grateful for Frankie, "I'm hoping." She countered, even though she knew, she would never be able to love someone the same, let alone more.

Smiling back at the Doctor and taking a deep breath, Frankie decided it was time to leave the Doctor alone and let her do the necessary before facing the crowd.

"I guess, I'll head back out. I'll tell them you'll be out in 15?"

Smiling, Maura gave Frankie a nod and watched as he let himself out

When managed to force herself to attend the ceremony and arrived at the venue, she was greeted by her Ma; and she didn't quite know what to feel about it. Should she be grateful that none of the guests had seen her or should she ask if her luck for the day has totally runout?

Nevertheless, as soon as she arrived, her Ma had dragged her to the back room, where she supposed Maura was in and before her mother left her, she was given a strict instruction not to leave until she has Maura ready to walk down the aisle.

She didn't know why her mother was doing this to her knowing what she knew, but then again, Jane herself wasn't quite sure about anything anymore; except of course that she wanted nothing more than take Maura away and have their happily ever after. But as some stories, you just can't always have a happy ending.

So, sighing, taking a deep breath, Jane braced herself and knocked on the door in front of her, where in behind would be her best friend.

When the door opened and Maura in her wedding gown had been revealed, as gasped escaped and suddenly she forgot to breathe.

There in her cream-white gown with soft hair cascading around the shoulder, was Maura Isles and Jane had never seen anything more beautiful. If anyone would be able to hear her thoughts, they would all say it was a cliché and maybe it was. Jane would too if it wasn't herself involved. But in the secrecy of her thoughts, she let herself be free to admit that her best friend Maura Dorothea Isles looked beautiful it could take anyone's breath away. She took hers breath away.

Unknowingly to the Detective, the bride was also thinking similar to hers. Maura was surprised that Jane had shown up, but she was more astonished at how stunning the raven-haired Detective looked. Her hair was in its usual wild curls, she didn't put much make up on either but in Maura's eyes -Jane Rizzoli looked gorgeous. The midnight-blue strapless maid-of-honor dress that she picked for Jane –that the said maid of honor didn't so much as blink an eye as to complain- complimented her lanky form in a very appealing way.

Maura thought Jane looked so exquisitely beautiful it was almost painful.

Pain.

Not that she had forgotten, but seeing the lanky Detective, a brief moment of appreciation for how truly beautiful her best friend was and then all at once, Maura was reminded of how perfectly they fitted the night before, how wonderful they were together and most of all the devastation of how equally painful it was that for whatever reason, Jane wouldn't be with her.

Jane was the best thing that ever happened to her. Ironically, she was also the worst.

How could anyone be the same person responsible for making her feel two opposing feelings?

But Maura didn't have time to dwell over that. She has her wedding to attend to. So, biting the inside of her cheek, the medical examiner squared her jaw and with deep breath she uttered-

"Jane."

But even being in a hearing distance, her supposedly Maid-of-Honor remained almost… stoic; not blinking and seemingly holding her breath. Jane remained just looking at her.

"Jane?" she tried again, and still nothing.

Frowning and sighing at the same time, Maura tried again and this time with her tone firmer and voice louder, "JANE!"

And this time it worked.

Jane started blinking, registering that her name had been called by the woman in front of her; the woman that try as she may, she hasn't yet managed to look away from. She knew she needed to respond; say something. Anything. But for the life of her, she couldn't think of anything else aside from how she found it hard to breathe just by mere looking at Maura.

And as if that was not enough, her mouth as if has a mind of its own, just blurted it out without permission and she heard herself say, "You make it hard to breathe."

The Detective's eyes went wide as soon as the words were out and she stopped breathing. Those words were not the usual for her naturally sarcastic mouth. Jane berated herself internally. She wanted the floor to open and swallow her.

Who says things like that?

But allowing herself to look at Maura again, she relented. For what it was worth, she really couldn't be blamed for losing control of her words –nor her breathing. There was a goddess in front of her. A comment like the one she had was definitely justified. And with the blush that suddenly adorned the Doctor's face, Jane had to internally smile.

Sounding like a fool was worth it.

But whatever little lightness she felt had been short-lived the moment she noticed that it was quiet. Eerily quiet and Maura's face was… for lack of a better word –passive.

The Italian Maid-of-Honor quickly recognized it as the Doctor's poker face –minus the light pink hue that made the blush-on make-up a little deeper in shade.

But Maura didn't know what to do. She didn't want her body to react to those words. But it did. Against her will, she felt the blood rushed to her face and was sure she was blushing. She was just thankful that the physical reaction was a minor thing that could be dismissed as just her make up; that it was nothing like her heart which beating had been as if she had climbed up a steep hill or stairs. And she almost resented herself for letting Jane's seemingly unconscious comment get to her as instantly as it did. But then again, she couldn't.

It was Jane, after all.

As hurt as she was, it didn't lessen how much she still feels for her supposed best friend –one time lover. She could hope that in time she would be able to let go; that by marrying Jack and moving away with Jack, her non-platonic feelings for the Italian Detective would fade. Vanish. And she would move on. But that would be in years to come. For the moment, she was at the heights of her emotions towards Jane that every feelings, hurt, pain, confusion… they were all at its optimum –including love.

So, in the essence of emotions, the Doctor found comfort in the knowledge that all that she was feeling will only be temporary. That eventually, these feelings would go and she would be able to look at her best friend again without feeling anything other than the importance of their friendship.

She could hope.

She would hope.

But for now, sighing, she chose to ignore the comment and instead asked, "What are you doing here? Why are you here?"

"Ahm…"

"I thought you said you can't do this?" Maura asked again before the Detective could properly give her an answer.

Jane looked at Maura's hazel –if a little glassy- eyes, confusion and sadness bare for her to see. Questions swimming in the hazel pools that she couldn't give answers to. Not that she didn't want to answer but because she knew Maura would not understand. At least not now. Maybe.

She also wanted to answer Maura's question with the truth. She wanted to tell her that, yes. She can't do it. That if she has had a choice, she wouldn't be there. She would be so far away from where she was at now. Because, really, who would want to witness the love of their lives being married to someone else.

But she couldn't say those words.

Because regardless, her Ma was right. She did had her option. She had a choice.

THIS was her choice.

She knew, if she ask, Maura would no doubt runaway with her. But she chose to turn back around and step aside. She chose to let her go even if it was killing her. Even if it was the hardest thing she ever had to do. She was just a little grateful that at least she could find solace in the fact that at the end of the day, it was never going to be about her happiness. That at the end of the day, she would rather know that Maura is still alive, protected and tucked in the arms of a man the loves her and as painful as it may be a man Maura could potentially love more above all others.

She chose to have that than to have a repeat of their situation with Hoyt or the kidnapping or the danger of potentially losing a bit of Maura's beautiful mind, just because yet another psycho was after her.

No.

She won't have a repeat of that.

So, Jane may not want to be there and be the one to lead Maura to the man she agreed to marry, But Jane knew that she at least owed it to her to be there.

She owed it to Maura to be the dutifully best friend she oath to be.

Because this was her choice.

So Maura asked her -What she was doing there? Why she was there?

With all the strength she could, her answer was "I'm here to take you and lead you to your groom."

And with those words, Maura's heart silently broke again. She may not admit it to anyone –unfortunately she couldn't deny it to herself- but she secretly had hoped that Jane… maybe Jane was there to take her away.

But alas, the Detective had managed to break her heart even more and Maura was beginning to think that 'hope' was a dangerous thing.

Taking a deep breath, there and then, the Doctor decided to accept the fact that her Italian friend was giving her-

Jane didn't want to be with her.

Yes. She may have loved her.

But… not enough to be actually ready and be with her.

And at this she draw the line. She was done being desperate.

So, holding her head high, squaring her shoulder with poised that only executed confidence, Maura took her eyes away from the brown ones that she adored for the last time.

Without saying a word and not even bothering to close the door behind her, she took a step forward and in her natural grace made her way to the door that would lead her to Jack.

Jack was the one that wants her.

Not Jane.

Maybe, never Jane.

Maura didn't look back once she passed Jane.

Maura didn't see the shoulder that sagged once she was ahead of Jane.

Maura didn't see the head that bowed in misery with each step she took away from Jane.

Maura didn't see the tears that couldn't be held back.

Maura didn't see the brave Jane Clementine Rizzoli, Boston's finest Detective silently trying desperately to hold herself together before she falls apart.