CHAPTER THIRTY

TRIS POV

I wake up and I can already feel the excitement in the air. Today is visiting day. Although we are all still tired from our paintball game last night, you can tell we are all hoping our families will be here today.

I quickly get up and get dressed. Christina is still asleep and I don't know whether to wake her or not. I see Will is up. "Do you think I should wake her?" I ask Will.

"Better you than me. Last time I tried to wake her she wouldn't talk to me for three hours," Will says.

I walk over to Christina's bed and lightly shake her shoulder. "Christina," I say softly.

"Christina it's Visiting Day. Don't you want to see your family?" I say a little louder.

"Just five more minutes' mum," Christina says. This makes Will and I laugh.

"Christina," I say in my normal voice. It seems trying to wake her gently doesn't work.

Christina jumps up and looks around all disorientated. She really is a sight in the morning.

"What the hell Tris?" Christina yells.

"It's Visiting Day. Come on you need to get up," I say.

"Okay, fine. I will meet you in the dining hall," Christina grumbles.

"Will are you coming?" I ask.

"Yeah," Will says. "Don't go back to sleep Christina."

We walk out of the dormitory and make our way to the dining hall.

"Do you think your family will come today?" I ask Will.

"Probably just my sister. Cara is the only one who said she would support my decision if I transferred," Will says. "What about you?"

"I think my mum and dad will come. I hope so. Although they might go and see my brother Caleb," I say. "I'm not real sure." I just automatically thought they would come and see me and Tobias. I can't believe I forgot about Caleb. I'm sure they will want to see him as well.

We reach our usual table and there are only transfers here. I suppose all our Dauntless born friends went straight home after they got up this morning. Or they are still in bed.

"Morning," Tobias says and gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey," I say.

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks.

"What if they don't come? What if they just go and visit Caleb?" I say.

"Tris, stop worrying. They will come," Tobias says.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. They won't be able to see Caleb," Tobias says.

"Why not?"

"Erudite have banned all Abnegation from their headquarters," Tobias says.

"But I thought that Erudite and Abnegation had come to some sort of agreement," I say.

"I wasn't at the last meeting but Max was telling me that Jeanine has done a complete backflip on the agreements that were in place. She is now demanding more say in the government. She doesn't want to wait until the two-year agreement is up. She wants things changed now," Tobias says.

"Poor Caleb. He is going to be so disappointed that they didn't visit," I say. I hope Caleb is okay and that he isn't believing the lies that Erudite are spreading.

Tobias and I are standing in the Pit; it is a rainbow of colour here today. It probably has something to do with all the paint on the walls from last night's game of capture the flag. Which I am sure I will be helping to clean up in a few more hours.

"Tobias they should keep the paint from last night on the wall," I say. "I think it actually makes the place seem more Dauntless, knowing how it got there."

"Or are you just wanting to get out of cleaning all the paint up?" Tobias says with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe a little, but don't you think it looks good?" I say. "I think it brings more life to the Pit. Everything is so black or grey, it's nice to have a bit of colour around."

I am watching as I see my friends with their families. Christina is standing with her mum and little sister. You can tell that it is Christina's sister, they are so alike. Will has a woman only a few years older than us with him. Must be his sister. It's sad that the rest of his family doesn't support his decision. I wonder who else will be missing family today.

Tobias nudges my shoulder and I look up at him. He nods his head and I look and that is when I see both mum and dad. I am so relieved they came. I run over and give mum a big hug. It is so good to see her. Once I finish giving mum a hug, I hug my dad.

"Look at you," mum says. "You look so Dauntless. And you have grown I think."

"How are you enjoying Dauntless Beatrice?" Dad asks.

"I love it but it is a lot of hard work," I say.

"You both look happy," dad says. As he looks down and sees Tobias and I holding hands. "So it looks like I don't have to worry about who Beatrice is dating then Tobias."

I see Tobias blush and I can't help but to smile a little.

"Dad I wanted to ask your permission but . . ." Tobias says but dad cuts him off.

"Tobias it is alright. We all knew this was going to happen eventually. Maybe a little sooner than I would have liked. But you both have our blessing," Dad says.

"Thank you," Tobias says and he gives dad a hug.

"How is training going?" Mum asks. "Have you got to fire a gun yet."

"Training is good, hard but I am enjoying it. Tobias found us an old training room to practice in so I hang out with my friends there. Yes, I finally got to fire a gun. It was so loud, I didn't think it would be anything like it was," I say with excitement in my voice. "I am so glad you taught me how to look after you gun. It really helped me."

"Natalie," dad says. "Did you let Beatrice use your gun?"

"Of course not. I just showed her how to dismantle it and put it back together," mum says.

Dad just shakes his head. "I suppose it doesn't matter now," dad says. "Both you kids are probably using them all the time."

Tobias and I just smile.

"Is it true you can't see Caleb?" I ask.

"Yes," dad says. "I don't know what Erudite are up to but it isn't good. They are causing so much trouble."

"It doesn't seem fair," I say. "At least next year we can all meet in Abnegation. I promised Caleb just before we chose that we would do that. We will be able to do that, won't we?"

"Yes we can all do that Beatrice," mum says. "But you have to promise to bring some of that Dauntless cake."

"Do you want some now?" Tobias asks. "I can go and get you some, you can take it home if you like."

"You could do that?" mum asks. "Your dad hasn't ever tasted it."

"Of course I can," Tobias says. "There has to be some perks to being a leader. I'll go and get it now."

As Tobias walks off mum pulls me into a hug. "Beatrice," mum whispers into my ear. "You need to go and see Caleb as soon as initiation is over. You need to get him to look into the simulation serum. It is really important. Did you tell Tobias your results?"

I nod my head. "Good girl," mum says. "I am so happy for you and Tobias, you need to look after each other. Okay?"

Mum let's go of me and we just stand here talking about random things, what I have learned so far, how dad's job is going and what mum has been doing with her volunteer work.

Tobias comes back and he has a large container with him. It looks like he got them a whole cake.

"Leadership really does have its perks here," dad says.

"Whatever you can't get through you can freeze for later," says Tobias. "Although I am sure once you have tasted it you will be asking me to bring you more when we are at the council meetings together."

"You haven't been to the last few meetings Tobias. Is something wrong?" Dad asks.

"No we try to alternate who goes and with initiation coming up I didn't have the time to attend," Tobias says. "Once initiation is over I am sure the other leaders will be making me go to make up for how many I have missed. I know Max hates having to go. He will be the first one shoving me out the door."

"Have you had any contact with Evelyn?" Dad asks. "It's just Max told me he was worried about what they were up too. He told me he had you trying to contact her."

"Yeah he had me out there for weeks trying to see her. She is planning something. She just kept going on about how I should join her," Tobias says. "I could never join her; I don't understand how she can think I would want to."

"In her own way she still loves you Tobias. Just remember you are an adult now and that you have to live your life the way you want too. Not the way anyone else thinks you should. Eventually you will want your own family and you will need to do what is best for them. If you don't want contact with her than don't. It is up to you, you have choices," Mum says.

When mum mentioned having a family Tobias and I both looked at each other. I don't think either of us has thought that far ahead.

"We need to go," dad says. "I'm sorry we can't stay longer but we don't want people to think that you are too attached to us. If word got back to the other factions, it could look bad for all of us."

We both give mum and dad quick hugs and say our goodbyes. I wish they could have stayed longer but at least we got to see them. I feel sorry for Caleb, today must really suck for him.

"Do you want me to go to Erudite and see Caleb?" Tobias asks.

"Yes but you shouldn't. It will look bad for him if you go. We don't know what Jeanine is up to and we don't want to get Caleb in any trouble," I say.

"I could probably get away with it, being a leader and all," Tobias says.

"No Tobias. Can we just go to your place for a while?"

Tobias grabs my hand and we start the walk towards his apartment. As we are passing Max he stops us. "I told Lauren and Eric not to worry about getting the initiates to clean the Pit walls. I have had so many people comment on how they like seeing all the splattered paint, so it can just stay there. There are only a few windows that need cleaning so I'll get the cleaning staff onto that tomorrow. Fights start tomorrow don't they?"

"For the transfers yes, the Dauntless borns started theirs last week," Tobias says.

"Come and get me when they start, I'm interested to see what happens."

"I will," Tobias says.

"Good luck in the fights Tris," Max says and he gives me a wink

"Thank you," I say. Wondering what that was all about.

We continue to walk and I say, "Tobias why did Max wink at me?"

"He is excited to see how you fight Tris. Also he can't wait to see Eric's reaction. He knows that you and Lynn have been training together and he wants to see how you go."

"No pressure," I say.

"You will be fine Tris. Don't even worry about it," Tobias says.

TOBIAS POV

We walk into my apartment and I ask, "So what do you want to do?"

"Can we just lay down. I am exhausted," Tris says.

"Sure," I say. No one has had much sleep. We didn't finish the paint ball game until after three this morning and then we had to get up for Visiting Day.

We walk into my bedroom and we both lie on the bed. It is just like when we were younger and we are lying with Tris facing away from me and me curled around her.

"I've missed this," she says.

"Me too," I say. "Tris I need to ask you something."

Tris turns around facing me, now I am feeling even more nervous than I was when I didn't have to face her.

"What is it Tobias?" she asks.

"I know that this will seem really soon but in a way I don't think it is because we have spent so much time together when we were kids. Anyway I was thinking, well hoping really, that when initiation is over that . . . well what I'm trying to say is . . . ."

"Tobias anything you want to say is okay," Tris says.

Why is this so hard?

"Tris I want you to move in with me," I say as quickly as I can.

"You do?" Tris asks.

"Yeah, it's just I can't imagine us both living in Dauntless and not being together. I hate knowing you are so close and I can't be with you. It was definitely easier when you were still in Abnegation. But the last couple of weeks have almost been torturous for me. And now I know we have mum and dad's blessing. Well I just think . . . "

"Yes," Tris says.

"Yes?" I ask just to make sure I have heard correctly.

"Yes," Tris says. "I have felt exactly the same. I hate having to sleep with a room full of people, half of them I don't even like. Knowing you are so close by almost hurts."

"Are you still getting your nightmares Tobias?"

"Yes, sometimes. Not like it was when we were living in Abnegation. Knowing that he is locked up and can't hurt anyone else has helped. But occasionally I still get them. Especially after I go to the council meetings. I don't know why, it's not like he is there," I say.

"But wasn't that when he was at his worst, after the council meetings," Tris says.

"Yeah that's probably it," I say. "Do you think I should go and visit him?"

"Do you want to do that?" Tris asks.

"Part of me never wants to see him again. But then I wonder if I went would I finally be able to feel free of him," I say.

"Only you know the answer to that," she says. "But if you decide you want to go, I can go with you."

"You would do that for me?" I ask.

"Of course I would," she says. "I will always be here for you."

"I'll think about it," I say. I don't know if I really want to go and see Marcus. I don't know if it will do me any good. I do know that for now I have plenty of time before I have to make that decision. He has years before he will be out of prison.

"What did you think of what mum said?" I ask.

"Which bit exactly?"

"About starting my own family?"

"You want to start a family?" Tris asks. I can hear the shock in her voice.

I laugh a little. "Not now, but one day," I say. "I hadn't really thought about it until she said something and now I can't get it out of my head."

"One day sounds good. But not yet. I only just got here and well I really don't want to be pregnant for a few more years. And babies sound great but they take up all of your attention."

"True," I say. "It just might be nice to have our own family."

"We don't have to have kids to be a family Tobias. We are a family," Tris says. "Maybe we should talk to Natasha. I'm sure she would let you mind your brother and sister. That way we can see just what's involved. Maybe we won't want kids until we are like forty after that."

"That's a great idea. I would love to spend time with them. Do you think she would let us?"

"I don't know. We can only ask. I'm sure she would want you to get to know them. So even if you can't mind them we should at least try and make an effort to go and see her. Are we allowed to do that? With it not being a visiting day are we allowed to move around the factions?"

"I will find out. I'm sure because I am a leader that I can but I don't know," I say. "Max knows the rule book back to front. I will ask him."

"It's funny thinking of Max knowing all this stuff. He seems like he should be out patrolling or something," Tris says.

"I know. Do you know he knows every single person in this faction? When I was training with him to become leader, every day we would walk around the Pit and he would greet every person by name. He knows what their jobs are, who their children are. It was incredible to watch. But then you walk into his office and most of the time you can't see his desk for paperwork. He always looks really unorganised but he knows everyone in the faction, he knows the rules and their punishments. He is really hard to work out."

"That's probably what makes him a good leader."

"Probably," I say. "Do you want a drink?"

"Yeah okay," Tris says.

I get up and get us something to drink. All this talking has made my mouth dry, or maybe it's just the topics of conversation. I can't wait for initiation to be over. I can't wait to be living with Tris again.

I go back into the bedroom and I sit on the bed with my back resting on the headboard. Tris comes and sits facing me. "Tobias can I ask you something?" she says.

"Of course you can," I say.

"What's your tattoo?" she asks.

I lean forward and take my shirt off. Then I turn so that Tris can see my tattoo. She moves over and starts tracing her fingers over the flames. You would think the flames were real with the feeling I am getting from her touch. It is as if every movement is awakening the flames and they are burning me alive.

"This is amazing. What made you get your whole back covered?"

"I still had some scars from you know and well I wanted to hide them," I say.

"You have all the faction symbols on here. They aren't easy to see but whoever did this, wow," she says.

"It was Tori. I wanted a different design but she said that it was too dangerous. So she made this one for me. So I could have all the factions but you would have to look closely to see them," I say.

Tris is still tracing the design and I can feel myself getting heated. Then she sees the tattoo I have on my ribs. Tris moves around and sits over my legs while she traces the design on my ribs. I can feel my breath hitch as she keeps touching me.

I lean back on the headboard again. Tris moves forward, toward me and is now straddling my lap. I can't help myself and I lean forward and kiss her. It is unbelievable the way she can make me feel. I know I am going to have to stop this but at the same time I can't seem to pull away.

But I do pull away, breathless and about to lose all control if I keep kissing her. "Tris we have to stop," I say.

"What? Why?" she asks. "Don't you want to kiss me?"

"More than anything. I love kissing you. But I don't know how long I can control myself," I say.

Tris looks at me with a puzzled look on her face. I look her in the eyes and then move my eyes toward my crotch. She follows my eyes and then realisation dawns on her face.

"Oh, Tobias I'm sorry," she says.

"Don't be sorry Tris," I say. "I like that you do this to me. It's just . . ."

"Can I touch it?" she asks.

"Really?"

She nods and I gulp. I want her too but what if she isn't ready for any of this.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes," she says.

I just nod. I don't have words at this moment. So instead I just kiss her.