REWRITTEN 7/29/16

Ignoring the Rules

The Library

The predator, a mere shadow on the floor, stalked through the dark room, weaving silently between the looming shelves and the books that scattered the floor. It slipped forward like oil, not even a whisper to mark its passage. Ahead lay its prize, a prone form lying on a cot, one hand dangling over the side, chest moving up and down softly.

The thrill of the hunt pulsed through the predator's veins, but it kept its heart rate and its footsteps steady until it was a mere three feet away from its sleeping prey. The shadow tensed its muscles, crouching, then it leapt forward through the air and landed heavily on the cot, jolting its prey violently into the air. "Hey, guess what!" it yelled next to its target's ear.

Startled, the prey lashed out instantly, slugging the predator in the stomach, knocking it off the bed and onto the floor. "Shit!" a woman's voice cried angrily. "What the fuck, Teemo?"

Splayed loose-limbed across the floor, Teemo started to laugh, clutching his stomach as he rocked back and forth. "Hoo, your face!"

"What the hell?" Arin demanded again. She lifted herself up onto one arm so she could glare down at Teemo, bright orange hair obscuring half her face. "I was asleep!"

A tiny pinprick of fire burst into life, barely bigger than a candle flame, and illuminated Teemo's obnoxiously grinning expression. He sat up and crossed his legs, winking up at Arin. "I know. That's why I jumped on the bed."

Arin shoved her hair out of her face and closed her eyes. No matter what time it was, it was too fucking early to deal with this, she thought. She pinched the bridge of her nose, wondering if anyone would notice if she disemboweled Teemo and hung him out the library window. "I hate you sometimes," she told him.

Teemo grinned wickedly, and it made him look exactly like a five-year-old.

"What do you want?" Arin asked, changing the subject. She figured that the quicker she got him to talk, the quicker she could go back to sleep. She really wanted to go back to sleep. There wasn't even a wink of light oozing through the blinds over the windows.

"I wanted to show you something. I've been doing some reading–"

"You, reading?" Arin interrupted, smirking. Then she kicked herself. She wanted him to hurry up so she could go back to sleep, and then she went and interrupted him!

"Shut up." Teemo pulled a light grey book out from beneath his shirt, and Arin didn't even want to know where he'd been keeping it. He showed the cover to her briefly. It was Enia's copy of the Zombie Survival Guide, the corners bent and creased, the pages a little swollen with water. "Did you know that we've pretty much been doing the exact opposite of everything in this book?"

"That doesn't surprise me," Arin replied. She frowned down at him. "Why couldn't this have waiting until the morning?"

"Because I like disturbing you." Teemo turned the book over and read off the back. "'Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert'."

Arin laughed, starting to feel a little bit more awake and a little less murderous. She sat up a little taller and crossed her legs, mirroring Teemo's posture. "We definitely haven't been quiet."

"How about you be quiet now?" someone snapped from across the library, but Arin couldn't tell who it was through the darkness.

"Go back to sleep," Arin called sharply. Whoever it was grumbled and rolled over.

"Or alert," Teemo agreed.

"I'm amazed we're still alive given the number of times we've been caught off guard."

"Hooray for reflexes!" Teemo cheered quietly, and Arin nodded in agreement. If they had been normal humans, they probably would have died their first night in the Human Realm. Maybe it was time to start being a little bit more aware. It only took one mistake, even a little one, and then everything was over. They were playing a high stakes game, but they were playing it like they had unlimited lives.

"Okay, here's another one," Teemo continued, breaking into her musings. "'Get out of the car, get onto the bike'."

Arin rubbed at her chin. "I don't think I've seen a bike the entire time I've been here."

"'Organize before they rise'," Teemo read, and Arin let out a burst of laughter.

"We definitely weren't organized. I think Enia literally just thought to herself, 'hey, this would be fun', and just leapt in face first."

"We still aren't organized," Teemo added. "Enia believes it's more fun that way. Crazy kid."

Arin gave him a baleful look. "That's exactly how you raised her to be."

Teemo smirked. "True." He looked back down at the book, squinting through the shadows thrown by his little candle.

Footsteps trod lightly up to the two of them, and Teemo tilted his light to reveal the newcomer. Samik grinned in greeting as he wandered over to them, a wet frying pan and towel in his hands. Arin didn't even want to know why he was up at this ungodly time of day. "What are you doing?" he asked, voice low so he didn't disturb the humans. Samik always had been the most considerate out of all the elves.

Teemo tipped his head back until he could properly see Samik, and Arin heard his neck crack. She winced. "Figuring out how much of this book's advice we've ignored." He proudly held the novel up for Samik to see. It was upside down.

"Sounds like fun. Can I join?"

"No," Arin answered with mock seriousness.

Samik sat down anyways, smoothly folding his legs beneath him. He leaned over Teemo's shoulder to peer at the book, frying pan wobbling dangerously in his hand. "We've done that one." He gestured, and the movement jostled the pan, spilling water across Teemo's lap.

"Dude, you're getting me wet!" Teemo shouted, swatting Samik's arm away.

"Sorry." Samik dropped the pan to the floor, spraying Teemo again. Arin giggled as a darkly enraged and slightly murderous look descended over his face like a carnival mask.

"No killing our daughter's boyfriend," she reminded him.

"I was only going to kill him a little," Teemo replied, cracking his knuckles threateningly.

Samik subtly scooted away, making sure his hand was near by the pan handle just in case he needed to defend himself. "I'm pretty sure killing is an all or nothing sort of thing. I don't think you can kill someone a little bit."

"I'll find a way," Teemo said, grinning toothily. Instead of attacking, though, he went back to the book, poking the tip of his tongue out as he tried to juggle it and the fire jutting out of his finger. "'Blades don't need reloading'."

"We've got that one down," Samik laughed. He peered over Teemo's shoulder, practically using the older elf as a chin rest. "Oh, here's another one we're pretty good at: 'Use your head; cut off theirs'."

Arin lay back against her pillow, fingers laced behind her head. "We've definitely cut off a lot of heads while we've been here." She paused, frowning. "Taken out of context, that made me sound like a serial killer."

Teemo flipped the book open and rifled through the pages loudly, pretending to read at warp speed. Then, just as quickly, he flung the book to the floor and threw himself after it, cracking his forehead painfully on the thinly carpeted concrete. Arin and Samik cackled mercilessly as he shrieked in pain and clutched his skull, wailing something about gallons of blood gushing out of him, oh gods he was dying! Dying! Some of the nearby humans looked up nervously, lifting themselves out of their sleeping bags, and quietly shuffled further away.

"I'm bored!" Teemo pouted, flailing his arms and legs at the ceiling like an overturned turtle on Five-Hour Energy. Abruptly, all motion came to a halt, and he rolled over onto his stomach, raising his head just far enough to look the other too straight in the eye. "Wanna go kill something?"

Samik dropped his drying rag. "I thought you'd never ask."

Enia: Hey, only one more chapter to rewrite! That's pretty cool, don't you think?