Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the songs used in this chapter.
A/N: Thank you Joanarbis for your help with the song part =)
Chapter 13: Enjoy the music
Rachel complaining to the sheriff forced Cole's friends to back down and since then, they had been leaving the girls alone. Still, Santana could feel it was just the calm before the storm and she wanted Rachel to learn how to defend herself.
The Latina knew it would require some planning to bring Rachel to the ranch so they had waited until the girl had some deliveries to do. Rachel had been confused by her request at first, since she had stayed vague on why she wanted her there, then worried people would see her but Santana had reassured her by telling her Ricardo would be away on business all day. Things might be 'easier' between Santiago's dad and her, the man only acknowledging her to give her tasks to do but it didn't mean she wanted him around while Rachel was there.
It was Thursday afternoon and Santana was waiting for the diva at the Ranch entrance. Once she spotted Rachel's carriage, she stepped forward with a smile. She waited for the girl to stop her vehicle before greeting the brunette. "Howdy!"
Rachel chuckled. "Hello to you too, Santana." She smiled brightly. She stood up and was ready to step out of carriage when the Latina moved closer, putting her hands on her waist and lifting her slightly - which surprised her a little bit as she automatically put her hands on the Latina's shoulders- before Santana let her go once her feet touched the floor. She blushed before looking at her friend. "Thank you."
"No biggie." The raven-haired girl replied, unfazed by her action. "So ready?"
The brunette crinkled her nose in confusion. "Seeing as I have no idea why you were so adamant that I come to the ranch today, I'm afraid I can't really answer your question."
"Ohh right, I forget, my bad." The former cheerleader answered innocently. "You are here for a shooting lesson."
The Jewish girl blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Everyone has a gun here…" The tan girl shrugged. "And since in the tale, the douche uses one to try to kill us, well Santiago and Michelle, it would be best for you to learn how to use it."
"I certainly won't do that." Rachel crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned. "You know I don't condone violence."
Santana rolled her eyes. "Listen, you need to put your Ghandi crap aside for a while. This little truce with those pricks won't last. We had a sneak peek of what they are capable of a few days ago so when they come bothering us again, lecturing them on equality and I don't know what rainbow shit you could come up with won't be enough."
The diva huffed, stomping her foot. "I won't carry a gun with me, Santana."
"I'm not saying you have to, I'm just saying you need to know how to use one if something happens." The Latina clarified as she grabbed the girl's elbow and led her toward one of the barns.
"I really don't see the point." The petite girl insisted as she reluctantly followed her friend.
"Really? Because if we remember Mrs Harper's historic tale correctly, we're getting closer to the fire and we still don't know how it happens so we should be prepared for every eventuality." The raven-haired girl let go of the diva and grabbed some empty bottles she had gathered before Rachel arrived
"But…"
"Could you like, not fight me on this one?" The taller girl cut her off with a sigh. "I just want you to be able to defend yourself when I'm not around to do it myself." The words were out of her mouth before she could even stop herself. The brunette was looking at her slightly agape. Before the brunette could say anything, the raven-haired girl added. "Besides, it won't take long and then you'll be able to leave."
The brunette sighed wearily. Even though she was touched by the girl's intention, it was something she wished she didn't have to do. "Fine, I will do it but I feel the need to remind you that violence shouldn't always be answered with violence. We're not savages…"
The tan girl snorted. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, short sack." She motioned for Rachel to follow her toward the field.
"Why do I even bother?" Rachel muttered.
Once Santana was done setting everything up, she asked Rachel to stand at safe distance from the targets on the fence. The girl had been lecturing her on guns and human rights for the past ten minutes. She mostly tuned her out because it wasn't like she wanted to hurt or kill anyone, as awful as they were, but she just wanted to be prepared in case shit hit the fan. She thought the girl would understand that, knowing how the diva liked to be prepared for everything but it didn't seem like it. Or maybe the brunette was aware of it and this was her way of coping with what could happen…
"Am I far enough here?" Rachel asked from her spot.
"Yeah, you're good." Santana moved behind the diva. She gently rested her hands on the girl's hips and started explaining. "Put your feet about a shoulder width apart and perpendicular to the target. Your right foot slightly behind."
The diva froze at the touch for a second before relaxing. "Okay…" She swallowed the lump in her throat. The touch was innocent and yet it stirred something within her. She took a deep breath, trying to shake whatever it was that she was feeling right now.
"Flex your knees and lean forward a bit." The Latina tapped slightly behind the girl's leg before grabbing her gun from the holder. She put the gun in the diva's hands, making sure they were positioned correctly on the grip. "Extend your arms and keep the gun at eye level. You have to hold it firmly."
The brunette did as asked. "Like that?"
The raven-haired girl leaned her body against the diva's back and rested her chin on her shoulder before running a hand along the girl's arm to align it perfectly. "You have to pull the trigger slowly and be prepared for the drawback." She said right into Rachel's ear.
Rachel shivered at the action and turned her head to the side, her face an inch away from Santana's as the girl locked eyes with her. Her breath hitched at the intensity of the moment and she could swear Santana's did too. It was so surreal, what was happening to them…
The diva felt the Latina's hand squeeze her hip. She inhaled sharply, her finger closing involuntarily around the trigger before both girls stepped back as the shot flew wild through the air. "Sweet Barbra!" She exclaimed wild eyed.
The tan girl blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the weird daze she was in before she registered Rachel had shot. She moved away quickly and glared. "What the fuck, Rachel? Did I say you could fire? I wasn't finished! Do you want to kill us?" She shouted.
"I didn't mean to! It was an accident!" The brunette cried. "Are you okay?" She had been so caught up by their closeness that her brain had somehow fried. It was very confusing.
"Yes!" Santana barked, grabbing the gun from the diva's hand. "You suck! Never do that again, ever!"
"That's why I don't want guns!" The petite girl glared offended. "I'm really bad at this, we should stop."
"No, no, no, no, no." The Latina shook her head. "That's exactly why you need to learn how to use one."
"Santana…"
"Rachel." The tan girl growled, putting the gun back in the girl's hand. "Get back in position. Let's try again. Focus this time."
"Don't say I didn't warn you…" Rachel mumbled while resuming her stance to try again.
A few days later, Rachel was at the barn like every night since they arrived and she was waiting for Santana. For once, it seemed like the girl was late. Usually it was easier for the Latina to sneak out of her house. She didn't know if it was because of the Cruz's or because she had a lot of practice before but either way, Santana was often the first to show up at the barn.
Things had been a little awkward between them since their 'moment' at the ranch but neither of them had brought the subject up and if she was honest, Rachel was still too confused about it to discuss it with Santana.
The diva sat on a trunk and waited patiently until she heard some voices near the barn. None of them was Santana's and the girl wouldn't risk their secret spot by bringing someone with her. Trying not to panic, she looked around the barn to find a place to hide. When she spotted an old barrel in the corner, she rushed toward it. She pulled it enough on the side to be able to slide her body behind it and quickly kneel down. When she couldn't hear the voices outside, she sighed in relief and stood up.
The brunette was about to push the barrel back into the corner when something caught her eye. It was a journal, the same type as the one Michelle had. She stared at it for a moment. Could it be possible that Michelle and Santiago were also using this place to meet? She grabbed the journal and checked the first page. It was the last journal she had been looking for. She turned a few pages and stopped when a sentence caught her attention. "Last night, I met Santiago at the barn, he told me he needed to talk. I don't really know how it happened but we started fighting and out of nowhere, he kissed me…" Rachel couldn't believe what she was reading. She was about to keep reading when she heard someone approaching. She quickly hid the journal, knowing it would have to wait. She turned around just in time to see Santana enter the barn.
"Good evening, Santana." Rachel greeted before noticing the guitar in the girl's hand. "Oh my god, where did you get that?"
"I found it in Santiago's room." Santana replied.
"Aww, he has musical spirit." The diva smiled at the thought. "I understand why Michelle likes him."
The Latina snorted. "You're ridiculous."
"I am not." The brunette argued. "I think it's sweet."
The tan girl rolled her eyes, albeit amused by the diva's reaction. "Of course you do."
"Too bad none of us know how to play." The petite girl declared sadly.
"Actually…" The raven-haired girl started, scratching behind her ear as a sudden nervousness ran through her. "I might know how to play the guitar and…" She puffed some air. "I know you miss singing and me too, so I thought we could just sing for one night. No talking or planning, just music…"
Rachel was touched by the girl's offer. After all, Santana had complained numerous times about her singing too much in glee but here she was, offering a nice evening of singing together. It was so thoughtful of her. How could have she missed all these sides of the girl? The Latina was so much more than the HBIC she was at McKinley. The diva was also surprised that Santana knew how to play an instrument since she never mentioned it during glee. Maybe she was shy about it… "You want us to sing?"
The former cheerleader shrugged. "I only know a handful of songs so don't get your panties in a bunch."
The Jewish girl grinned. "Do you know 'Thank you' by Dido?"
Santana raised her eyebrow. "Interesting choice of song…" She sat on a piece of wood and put the guitar on her lap. "And of course I know it, I love Dido. I learned some of her songs with Puck."
"Really?" Rachel asked, once again surprised by the girl.
The taller girl rolled her eyes. "Yes and if anyone should be surprised by someone's taste in music, it should be me."
The brunette put her hand on her hip. "I'll have you know that I have eclectic taste in music. I don't only listen to musicals and divas."
"Whatever you say, short stack."
The diva huffed. "I'm going to ignore your comment. Let's sing instead." She cleared her throat. "Whenever you're ready…"
Santana started stroking the chords of the guitar, softly playing the melody…
My tea's gone cold, I wondering why I got out of bed at all.
The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all.
And even if I could it'd all be grey, but your picture on my wall.
It reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad
Rachel had always felt free and happy while singing, and it was so good to feel like that again. She would have never thought the Latina would be her rock one day and yet she was. It was so surreal and yet it felt right, as if it was meant to be this way.
I drank too much last night, got bills to pay, my head just feels in pain.
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today, I'm late for work again.
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply that I might not last the day.
And then you call me and it's not so bad, it's not so bad and
Her days in this era were hard and if she had sometimes felt like her days at McKinley were hell, it was nothing compared to her life here. Working at the shop was awful and the days were long. Her only joy was thinking about meeting with Santana at night fall. It was what made her get through her day and she had recently realised that.
I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life
The diva wanted to thank the girl for her support and despite all the bickering between them, the Latina had been a true friend to her and she needed her to know how grateful she was for that.
Rachel finished singing with a happy smile on her face and sighed in contentment. Santana smiled at her before asking. "So why this song?"
"I chose this song because I want to thank you as the title says. Since we've arrived here, you've kept your promises to stay around and help me. I know it's not always easy for you because people are judgmental and narrow-minded on a completely new level that would make the people from Lima look sympathetic but despite all that, you still make sure I'm okay. So thank you, it means a lot to me." The brunette explained. "I care about you and I hope we'll stay friends after this."
The Latina chuckled nervously. "It also says I gave you the best day of your life! Do you have something to tell me, Berry?" She tried to deflect.
The petite girl rolled her eyes. "It's not like that, it's just… knowing that we'll meet here at night makes me feel better. You are the best part of my day..."
"Well, thanks for that, I guess and…" The tan girl took a deep breath. "You're the best part of my day too or whatever…" Since their 'weird connecting moment' at the ranch, she didn't know how to act when Rachel was affectionate but on the other hand, she didn't want to dismiss the girl. It was all too confusing.
They fell silent for a while until Rachel spoke again. "You can sing something too if you want."
"Come again? Is the glee princess, Ms Rachel Barbra Berry suggesting someone else take the spotlight?"
"Very funny, Santana." The Jewish girl deadpanned as she sat down.
"I know, I'm hilarious." The raven-haired girl thought about a song to sing for a moment. "Okay I found a song. It's the last song I learned before we ended up in this place. It's called 'Forever and almost always' by Kate Voegele." She cleared her throat.
So the story goes on down the less traveled road. It's a variation on the one I was told
And although it's not the same. It's awful close, yeah
In an ordinary fairy tale land. There's a promise of a perfect happy end. And I imagine having just short of that Is better than nothing
When Santana had confessed her feelings to Brittany, she had hoped it would be like in the movies. The girl would have said she loved her too and wanted to be with her and they would have been living happily ever after but it wasn't what happened.
So you'll be mine. Forever and almost always. And I'll be fine. Just love me when you can
And I'll wait patiently. I'll wake up every day. Just hoping that you still care
At first, she thought Brittany just needed time and would soon realise Artie was mistake. All she had to do was be patient. Every morning, she woke up in the hope she would have a text from the blonde on her phone, telling her she had changed her mind and wanted to be with her.
In the corner of my mind I know too well. Oh that surely even I deserve the best
But instead of leaving. I just put the issue to bed And outta my head
She had always ignored things, hoping they would go away on their own but she was still seeing Brittany almost every day and she was still hurt from having been rejected. But she kept hoping the girl would realise her feelings for her.
Oh and just when I believe. You've changed for good
Well you go and prove me wrong, Just like I knew you would
A few times, the Latina had thought her patience had paid off. Every time Brittany would ask to spend time with her, or hug her, or kiss the corner of her mouth… But it never changed; Brittany kept talking about how they were just best friends.
When I run out of second chances, You give me that look And you're off the hook
After that, she would tell herself she needed to move on but then Brittany would smile at her, and she knew there was no point…
Because you're mine. Forever and almost always
And I'm fine. Just love me when you can
And I'll wait patiently. I'll wake up every day. Just hoping that you still care
Oh, she waited, day after day for a sign the girl would want her but it never came…
Oh, what am I still doing here? Oh, it's all becoming so clear
Along the way, she must have realised she was wasting her time.
You'll be mine. Forever and almost always
It ain't right to just love me when you can
Oh I won't wait patiently, Or wake up everyday. Just hoping that you'll still care
The process had started before Nationals but right now, playing the guitar and feeling content and at peace, she realised she deserved to be loved. She deserved someone who reciprocated her feelings. She would always love Brittany but she realised she was not in love with her anymore…
Forever and almost always
No it ain't right To just love me when you can, baby
Ain't gonna wait patiently. I won't wake up everyday. Just hoping that you still care
It was time to move one, she might not be able to talk about her sexuality to anyone, but Rachel was right, no everyone will judge her for it and she had some friends in her corner. With time she would find love. Fairy tales might not be true, but she hoped that with time, she would find a girl who would be her forever and definitely always…
Rachel clapped softly, smiling with watery eyes. "It was beautiful, Santana. Very raw and emotional." She cleared her throat. "If I may ask, why this song?"
Santana exhaled, trying to keep her emotions in check. She didn't know why she had felt the need to sing this song but it felt right. It was like she felt safe enough to share this, like she wanted Rachel to know she had moved on from Brittany and was ready to love, which didn't make any sense. Why would she care about what Rachel thought? It wasn't like she wanted to date the girl. Why was she even thinking about that? That was ridiculous. "It's sappy so I'd rather not…"
The diva laughed lightly. "Have you met me? You keep saying I'm the queen of cheesy, so please share. I mean, if you want to…"
"Are we going to sing kumbayah and hold hands after? Because if so, I'm leaving!" The Latina joked. She suddenly felt uncomfortable and started to regret her choice of song.
The brunette frowned at the answer. The girl had looked so honest and emotional during her performance that she had hoped it would continue that way. "I shared my reasons and feelings with you, why not do the same?"
"Because I'm not you!" The taller girl snapped. "God, why do you always have to push?"
The petite girl sighed frustrated at the change of behaviour. "All right, do as you wish, Santana…"
The former cheerleader growled. "You're annoying." She sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. "It's about how I thought Brittany was the one. I wanted to wait forever for her and it didn't matter if I hurt. I thought that if I gave her enough time, she would realise she loves me but lately and especially with all that soulmate crap story between Santiago and Michelle, I've rethought everything and… I deserve to be happy too, you know. I think without realising it, I moved on and even though I'm not ready to come out and everything, I want to be okay with my sexuality and I want real love…"
"That's beautiful and you will find someone someday. You are an amazing person, Santana, you deserve to be happy." Rachel reached out and squeezed the girl's hand, smiling supportively. She was glad Santana trusted her enough to confess things to her. She had to admit she was a bit disappointed Santana didn't sing a song about her or their friendship, as self-centred as it sounded. Deep down, she was almost jealous of Brittany for being the Latina's inspiration, even though in the end, it was clear the Latina wanted a new love, a new muse, a happier one. 'Someone like me...' She thought. 'Wait what? No, where is that even coming from? Playing this Maria and Tony type of love is starting to mess with my mind. I need to get a grip. I'm sure I'm thinking about that because of what I read in the journal. Yes, it must be that…'
Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't be so gay, Berry." She said to break her own discomfort.
"You're infuriating." The brunette shook her head in disbelief. How the girl could go from sweet to annoying in a second was a mystery.
"Part of my charm." The tan girl smirked.
The diva snorted despite herself. "If you say so." Knowing the girl would refuse to talk about serious matters after that, she said. "What other songs do you know?"
The Latina smiled. "What about a duet? Let's see…"
Rachel and Santana sang until it was time to going home, forgetting about their situation for a little while…