A.N: Sorry the daily in posting but I have had trouble writing from Chuck's POV which is why there is little of him in this chapter. Overall not a lot of Chair in this and they have not really processed anything that happened in the last chapter. Sorry for the lack of footnotes and review responses in the last chapter but I just wanted to put that chapter out there as soon as possible. I was no entirely confident with it and just wanted feedback sooner rather than later. That being said a special thank you to all that review. It really is helpful to me to think things through and I love it when people challenge the character and point out anything they may feel OC. It really challenges me to try to explain or further explore the character.
However, in my rush I failed to mention the alteration to the brunch I was making. The brunch had an hour of appetizer's and mingling before a sit down brunch with a cocktail hour after. I also notice that I failed to name Blair's therapist in the previous chapter. I could have sworn that I named her but it seems that the final chapter that went up did not so her name is .
In addition, I failed to response to reviews from non-members for the past two chapters. Thank you to all the guest reviewers. To super-guest, I also enjoyed Blair trying to seduce Chuck in the show and don't worry that storyline is not over. I hope you enjoyed the NJBC encounter even they are tension filled and sometimes awkward. I did watch 2x10 as soon as you mentioned it in an earlier review. Thank you. Alisha, I am happy that you enjoyed the last chapter and are hopefully happy with the ring situation in this one.
When it comes to marriage, one woman is as good as the next. And even the least accommodating is less trouble than a mother.
Dangerous Liaisons (1988)
"How did your relapse make you feel?"
"Disgusting. Gross but mostly weak," I confided to my therapist, Dr. Cohen.
"You know that this relapse does not mean failure. It is a step in the journey to recovery. I think we should start weekly sessions again." I looked out the window annoyed at the whole encounter. We were on the fifth overlooking a midtown street. The soundproofing in the room failed to bring any of the city noises into the city. I wanted to so bad to hear the hooking of traffic and the voices of people. Right now, I felt incredibly alone in the world. Voiceless, joyless. I knew I needed help but I felt so uncomfortable asking. The silence was overpowering and I could not find any words to express myself.
"Last time we met Blair we talked about Serena leaving town and you needing a new support person. You were planning to tell Nate. How did that go?" I looked back at her knowing the half hour would go quicker if I talked. Her question took me back to what was happening almost eleven months ago.
"He seemed extremely uncomfortable talking about the encounter. So I never really brought it up again… Honestly, it made me feel weaker telling him. He seemed so surprised about the situation and suddenly I felt like I was apologizing to him about it. For a while, eating a meal with him made me feel like I was taking a test. Like he was watching every move and every bite. I felt like a sideshow," I told her as my voice crack. I poured myself a glass of water from the glass table. Once again, look at the bookshelf against the wall rather than her.
"Blair, can I ask you however do you feel about the breakup?" I whipped my neck to glare at her, as if she was a fool. Obviously, I was upset about the breakup.
"I think that is clear," I glared at her hoping she could see her foolishness.
"Okay. So you and Nate broke up because he slept with Serena which hurt you, I understand that. How do you feel about the relationship being over removed from the affair?" She asked. I knew she was only going to continue to find ways to ask the same question. I shifted in my sit.
"I don't know. I mean Nate was easy and was the picture perfect life that I always wanted. Now without that I feel like I am missing that guy on my arm that I need to complete me." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized how weak they sounded. I blushed.
"Were things easy with Nate?" she asked which sounded like the same question yet again.
"Yes… I guess. I mean sometimes it was tedious waiting for him to do things that I wanted to do or trying to have conversations with him. Often I felt too embarrassed to express my needs in a real conversation with him and it was just easy to demand things. I found myself never knowing if he would pick up a phone call and wondering if he would be there for me if I truly needed. I also felt like he had this image of me in his mind for so long that I could not disappoint him with the things I did. I often had to hide my schemes from him because he is too nice for that. He never understood why I wanted to be Queen. He would kinda chuckle about it when I talked about it like it was frivolous. So I guess it was easy in the sense that I never really felt suffocated by him but I never felt like I could be me with him. I was always Nate's girlfriend never just Blair Waldorf ," I took a deep breath as I watched her take notes. I realized I felt okay. I felt good with the breakup. Well not good but better than I expected at this point.
"It sounds like you are really introspective about this Blair. I think that is important for you to not only focus on the surface level of this event. Do you still feel like you need that perfect life with Nate or anyone else? You mentioned a guy on your arm to complete you, do you still want that?"
"I don't know. I can think about it and come back to you," I told her. Honestly, my own words surprised me. I always thought of myself as a strong. A man to complete me went against that. Half a person without another was not the person I wanted to be.
"Okay. Blair this word perfect continues to pop up, we talked about how hard it is in the past to live up to that word," she reminded me.
"I know. I know. It is just that image is everything in my life. But you are right there is no such thing as perfection and I know it is dangerous for my recovery to try to achieve it as such. My fantasy can almost never live up to the reality"
Perfection was no longer my goal. I stared the ring that vintage ring that remained in the Vanderbilt family for hundred years. I knew the story like as well as anyone knows the Disney princess stories. I grew up listening to Anne talk about her many greats grandfather Cornelius Vanderbilt and how the ring was the symbols of the Vanderbilt wealth. She would talk about the time when the Vanderbilts were the city's major insiders. They would host over the top parties, donate to all the right charities, race yachts, cars, and horses. Then it all fell away into nothing. But she talked of their contributions to society Vanderbilt University, the Whitney museum, the Biltmore, the Breakers and of mansions on fifth avenue as if they still own them or as if she actually seen them all (1). Like Anne's stories, my fairytale with Nate was no longer real. The Vanderbilt fortune was mostly gone and while spoken with great nostalgia of a time before tax codes and government regulation it was no longer possible. I was too old for fairytale of mansions a block long on millionaire's row on Fifth Avenue. I could not get back on this merry go round with Nate. Who knew when I would ever get off?
The door of the suite opened and before Nate or I could react, Serena and Chuck were looking in at us. I looked over at the doorway where Chuck and Serena stood and back to Nate and then back to them. Chuck expression was unreadable while Serena with her hand covering her mouth, the picture of surprise. It was Chuck standing there looking empty and vulnerable that shocked me to my feet. But I did not know what to do other than stare into his eyes. I watched them go from sadness to anger in a matter of seconds. Suddenly I felt dizzy with the realization that Chuck cares for me. Chuck cares probably than friendship and more than sex. Suddenly I sat right back down in my seat. I felt a hand on my knee and I looked at Nate who was now sitting next to me. I wiped the corners of my eye to rid the tears that were there.
"I can't Nate. I don't feel that way for you," I whispered softly to him in the hopes that our friends did not have to hear the rejection. He said nothing as he stood and nodded sadly.
"Are you guys engaged?" Serena finally asked. She looked confused and mostly sick. Chuck's mask was back on his face and he looked the picture of indifference. Yet, even from here, I noticed the tightness of his jaw and his refusal to look at me. Rather he was staring down Nate. Nate was staring at Serena. He opened his mouth once to speak, then closed it, and then opened again.
"No. I was just trying it on." All of the sudden the weight of the Vanderbilt ring felt heavy on my hand. The silence in the room was heavy. My air felt restricted and looked back at Nate because looking at Chuck was becoming too confusing. "We called a truce," I said giving Nate a smile. He smiled back.
"Well that calls for celebration," Chuck said as he walked towards his bar. Nate rolled his eyes but I see the tension in his body.
"Come on lets drink to being single, young, and fucking rich," Chuck said with his back to Nate and I.
"Chuck is right. This is the first time we have all been in the same room in over a year," Serena using her overly happy voice that sounded forced to me. The tension in the room was not going anywhere. Too many things were left unspoken and no one wanted to. I stood up to join them Nate followed with his head down. His cheeks were reddening and I knew I probably embarrassed him by my rejection.
"Pour me a double," Nate added and I looked at him in surprise. He was not usually the heavy drinker and I saw him with a scotch already today.
"There is my man, single Nate," Chuck added and stared right at Nate as he passed him the drink. The two boys continue to glare at each other in a childish staring contest. Despite what Chuck told me earlier there was no way that these two were cool. There was clearly something happening and I believed it was over me. Suddenly my inside began flopping around and I needed this to stop.
"I should hate you all," I said I grabbed the shot S handed to me while I tried to lessen the tension.
"But you don't," Serena laughed obviously trying to do the same.
"We should probably all hate each other," Nate added glaring at Chuck. Chuck's smirk was on his face again and he had yet to look at me.
"A toast," Chuck offered raising the shot glass. "To being young" he nodded at Serena, "too being too pretty for your own damn good" he smirked at Nate "and finally truly single," he said as he looking right at me. Did he mean he would take me up on all my offers now? I threw the shot back but the burning of the liquid did nothing to stop the butterflies I felt.
Off my game, I coughed slightly as I grabbed the chaser and tossed it back. "You okay?" Nate asked as he placed his hand on the small of my back and I nodded. His hand on me suddenly felt heavy on my shoulder.
My phone ringing did not allow me to answer as I walked over to my purse to see it was my mother calling. I looked over at my friends and debated answering. Serena had her back turned to Nate and Chuck scrolling through his phone. Nate was staring off into the distance Chuck was staring right at me. I felt bare under his gaze. I shuffled slightly my feet deciding that my mother was probably easier to deal with right now.
"Blair, where in god's name did you head off to?" she asked. I realized that I had been gone quite a while at this point. Shit. "I barely wanted to attend this event but you did so we came. I told you I wanted to introduce you to some friends. Are you with that Bass boy? I haven't seen him in a while either. Blair are you with" she began her rant and I needed to stop her.
"No. Yes, but I am also with Serena and Nate," I tried to explain.
"Blair come back to the brunch, now," she said. I felt her anger through the phone and I grimaced. "The sit-down portion of the brunch is beginning and if you are not back say bye bye to Paris Fashion week," she told me.
"I am coming," I replied before I ended the call.
Looking back at the bar, I found only Chuck. He was looking at me with a lazy look about him as he perched over a barstool. He tossed his head to the left to alert me to look that way. I turned my head to the doorway to see Nate and Serena having a hushed conversation. It seemed as if she was trying to leave and he was stopping her. All of the sudden I felt confused and slightly stupid for not remembering that Nate wanted to be with Serena only a few days ago.
"We should go back," I announced loudly still looking their way. They glanced up and Nate released Serena's arm, which he was grabbing on to. Serena opened the door and we followed her out in silence.
I felt like I was the only one missing a part of the story. The elevator doors were just closing when Nate gasped "Blair the ring." Looking down at my finger, I realized I was still wearing the Vanderbilt heirloom.
"Shit," I muttered as I tried to pull it off but it was stuck. Holy fuck. "It won't come off," I said in what was no doubt a whine.
"Don't pull to hard B. Your fingers might swell," Serena offered. We were now on the 10th floor and descending.
"My fingers don't swell," I yelled. "They are dainty. I swear!"
"Use your spit as a lubricant. Or I can spit" Nate suggested. Fifth floor the doors opened as I pulled and pulled on the ring. I watched in horror as Nate gathered spit in his mouth. Chuck held his hand up to the guest and told them to take the next one.
"If you dare spit at me Nate I will chop all your hair off," I threaten. He swallowed and nodded.
"We can grab butter at the brunch. That should work," Chuck offered. Finally someone with a brain. The doors opened at the lobby and I was planning to walk to the bathroom and send one of them for butter when there stood Eleanor. I stopped halfway out of the elevator. She was about twenty feet away studying us. How could I even explain this to her? She knew all about Nate and Serena what would she even think of my for being with the both of them? She hated Chuck. She wanted me back with Nate and this ring would send her the wrong message. I felt like I was losing control all over again when suddenly a hand came to my shoulder.
"Breathe, Waldorf," Snapped me from my thoughts. I grasped for air not realizing I needed it. Chuck was looking at me concerned.
"You were as pale as a ghost. Just cover your hand," he whispered. His hand moved towards the small of my back as he guided me to my mother.
She had a puzzled look on her face as I made my way to her. I knew I needed to get myself together before she sniffed out a scandal.
"You did not have to wait out here for me mother," I said with a smile as I greeted her. Nate and Serena had walked slightly ahead just in my view. They seemed to renew their conversation from earlier while Serena continued to glance back at me.
"I thought we were here to attend brunch. I just wanted to make sure that you arrived back on time," she told me but she was continuing to glare at Chuck. I grasped tightly on the ring finger of my left hand. Every second that past only made me feel as if the ring got tighter and tighter with everyone who is anyone in the UES only a room away. What would they even say about this?
"We were just heading back in Mrs. Waldorf. I could escort you ladies in," Chuck offered with a polite smile. He could really be charming when necessary. My mother smiled tightly and I knew she was not buying it. She disliked men like the Basses purely on principle. While raised as an upper-east princess herself her trust fund did not really take farther than the overhead for Waldorf Designs and she worked for largely for her own money before meeting my father. Now after my father's scandal she received a large undisclosed settlement and the penthouse. Yet, rather than retire on it she considered herself a working women and hated the Upper East Men who trolled around dating her models.
"Thank you but I would like to speak to Blair alone for a moment. If you could excuse us," she told him purposefully trying to push him away.
I looked up at him wanting to say something needing to say something. I looked at him hoping my eyes could say more than my words. Thank you for trying to help ground me. Thank you for being here and not walking away but why are you here. Why are you constantly there? Why did you look so hurt when you opened that door? "See you in a bit Chuck," was all I said. He nodded before he walked away over to Serena and Nate and then they all walked back up the lobby stairs and onto the second floor to the Villard Ballroom (2).
"I thought we discussed this Blair," she all but hissed at me.
"We, all four of us were talking things through. Nothing was happening," I told her all the while grasping onto my ring finger. I often used my hands to speak and I needed to ensure that they stay in front of me hidden by my other hand.
"I requested that you be moved to my table. I did not want to leave you alone with Chuck and I did not know that you were talking again to Serena and Nate. I do hope this means that there is a possibility of a reunion with Nathaniel, dear. He really is a much better candidate than the Bass boy," she told me in a cheery voice as if she was not suggesting I pick a science project partner rather than reconcile with my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me.
"Mom, there is nothing going on. There is no reason to worry," I smiled politely hoping that this would all be over soon.
"Blair. I am serious. A women's reputation," was her final warning to me. I knew that the advice since she ingrained it to me years before 'the reputation of a woman may also be compared to a mirror, shinning and bright, but liable to be sullied by every breath that comes near it' (3). I nodded at her acknowledging how easily Chuck could ruin me in my mother's eyes. We were in a different era and time. A woman can move pass her reputation, right? I thought back to Serena and the labels that were stuck to her I grimaced which earned a smile from my mother. She knew she had made her point. "Let's return. I want to introduce you to my meet Lauren Remington Platt she is attending Columbia and we really must stop Georgina Bloomberg from boring her with politics. And the Astor's have arrived and are thoroughly wasted in horrible pattern mixing," she gossiped as she walked back to the room (4).
"Let me guess, white, and neon yellow with a floral?" I joked right back.
"Ha! So close my dear, white, and scarlet red with a purple floral pattern. Hideous"
I do not know why I decided to stand by her when we came off the elevator. I just did not know what to think or feel in the moment. To go your whole life confused or unsure of what it meant to be loved or love someone I was I believe understandably confused. Lost even. If my father's annual brunch was not occurring now than I would have probably found my way to a midtown bar to lose myself before these feelings took over. But the events of the day demanded that I was in fact in need of my full mental and motor controls. Especially around Nate. What the fuck is happening with him and his sudden attitude. This crafty and unkind man was a shell of my best friend. Nate was always my other half my opposite in every way. In the face of all my darkness, he was the charming prince that led me out of drunken clubs and midtown trashy venues. Yet here he was hurting Blair. Fucking Blair. I wanted to cruse myself for even thinking her name. For wanting her. For fuck sake loving her. Was this actually love? How could I even know? I never truly experienced this this thing. so how would I know. What even was the point? As if she would ever love me, back. It was a foolish thought by a silly boy. No, I could not would not love her.
Then stepping off that elevator with a panicked Blair a few feet away from an angry Eleanor I felt the need to protect Blair. The need was instant animal even for I had no control over myself and yet I was doing exactly what I knew I needed to do. Eleanor stood there with an angry and upset look. Hand on her hip waiting for Blair who was freaking out over the Vanderbilt ring that was stuck to her finger. I could not even glance at the ring without a sickening feeling take over my insides. Was it stuck because it was a sign that it belonged there? No Blair wanted that ring off. She was near passing out now. There was no way in hell that she needed to keep that ring on her finger. No way it belonged. Her pale face was a clear sign of distress. Frankly, I was fearful in that moment that she would revert to throwing up with all the scandals that were occurring this past week. Maybe she already had. For that reason I needed to protect her from her mother like I had on Wednesday. I was convinced that she in fact was a major source of her Blair's problems. The women worked in the fashion industry for God sake. Blair was gorgeous but was not talk so her mother did not seem to appreciate it. Yet I knew beauty when I saw it. As a man who bedded dozens of models, ballerinas and celebrities I knew beauty. And Blair was fucking magnificent. So I told her breathe and walked her over to her mother. The simple act of placing my hand on my back told me what I needed to know I was most definitely in love with Blair Waldorf. I hope she did not yet know. I felt the anger radiated off Eleanor. I wanted to stay when Eleanor dismissed me but I knew I needed to leave her with her mother. Instead, I walked towards Serena and Nathaniel hoping to break up their heated conversation. They should not be speaking so much in public after their affair.
"Decide what you want, Nate. Cause right now I don't even know who you are." I heard Serena harshly tell him. It did not take a rocket scientist to know what she meant. He looked at me and remained silent. I was more than aware that my friendship with Nathaniel was changing. He went from being one of the most important people in my life to now that spot was in question. We were both aware of it but curious to how it was going to change us.
"We should get inside," I told them and tried to remain calm about the issue. Both nodded at me and silently returned.
"Serena make sure to grab the butter off one of the tables and grab Blair as soon as possible," I told Serena as we were entering the Villard Foyer.
We were just about to enter the white oval Villard Ballroom with the Greco-Roman details in the columns around the room. The windows were opened to the courtroom letting in the light and providing a view to the courtyard at the businessmen who were smoking cigars pre-brunch. I knew from experience that million dollar deals were being cultivated and even more was probably being lost. Inside wealthy women and men were probably contemplating affairs and divorces while fools thought of love. The models that were posed as marble statues for the theme were holding there poses. In the morning I selected a few that I wanted to sleep with however now they seemed as untouchable as the statue of David itself. I saw the table with Kati and Iz that were supposed to be seated at along the window furthest from the interior party. My father would seat me with my friends away from the men from Bass Inc. Seconds before I could step inside Nate grabbed my arm to stop me
"I think we should talk. Bogie break?" He asked gesturing towards the entrance to the courtyard (5). Serena acknowledged what he said with a wink in my direction. What the fuck did that mean? Did she tell him about Blair and me? Was it encouragement?
We stepped out into the courtyard in silence as I pulled my vintage diamond Chanel cigarette holder from my inside breast pocket. I was not a smoker usually but when the mood called, I always had that case on hand. It belonged to my mother and I treasured it. She must have been a lady who demand attention with this. I flashed the case towards Nate for him to grab a gold flake cigarette imported from India. Internally I winced as he grabbed one knowing Nathaniel would pull too hard and not enjoy the tobacco. Nathaniel is the type to never see that he has a good thing right in front of him. Only after I lite up the cigarettes did he finally ask me what was up.
"Nothing. Everything is fine. No worries," I said trying to brush him off with a sly smirk.
"I am not an idiot," he said and I raised an eyebrow to question that. "You knew I wanted to be alone with her and you showed up," he explained.
I took a drag to disguise that I was taking time to think. "Her mother was asking about her," I lied.
"You brought Serena up with you. What the fuck. You know how I feel about her," he all but stomped his feet like a child with a tantrum.
"Feelings for who, Nathaniel? Cause two seconds ago you wanted Blair to marry you and wanted to fuck Serena a few days ago. Actually you saw her today probably before you came to my suite, so maybe you still do?" I told him smoothly hoping not to convey too much emotion. I clenched and unclenched my hand however unable to stop the anger that was coursing through me.
"You are supposed to be my friend. Bros before hoes," he even sounded sleazy when he said it.
"Nathaniel we have all been friends for years. I love you like a brother but at the end of the day I rather live in a scenario were we all don't destroy each other. Right now, you are setting up for an epic Serena and Blair battle with yourself in the middle. I do not want to be caught in those crossfires. There would be no fun in that scandal," I told him.
"I am not trying to cause a scandal. I don't know what I want. Blair said no. It wasn't a proposal. It was a promise ring." He ran his hand through his hair and took a long drag. "I am trying to fix things. I told Serena right now I can't date her or be with her. I need to focus on Blair at the moment," he explained. A day ago, I would have believed him but now I found no truth to his words.
"I thought she said no?" I asked as I stubbed out the cigarettes forcefully hoping to relieve my anger.
"She did but I think wearing the ring today is going to cement her dream of being my wife," he smirked at me. Did Nate planned this? No there is no way he would know the ring would be too small, right?
"If you say so," I shrugged hopping we could go back inside.
"Trust me I know Blair. Wearing that ring is going to show her what we have and she shouldn't throw it away."Of course, I wondered it was indeed true. If we did not walk into that room would see had said yes. I saw the tears in her eyes and I needed to know if they were from happiness or not.
"She does not need another scandal so soon," I tried to get to see things my way.
"I don't see how it concerns you," he replied as he puffed up his chest and straighten his back. I rolled my eyes and fiddled with my lighter. I did not respond to his statement. I could not explain any of this to him before I knew for myself.
"You are right I don't care. We're good?" I asked after the long pause. Nate looked to be deciding if we were or not for a moment.
"I think so. You don't have feelings for..." I arched my eyebrow as if to ask was he serious. "Nah okay. Come on." He said smiling. I breathed a sigh of relief with the knowledge that Serena did not tell him anything.
Unfortunately, when Blair came back in moments after Nate and me she was glued to her mother and her hands were glued to each other. I could not help but smirk at the image of Blair walking around with her hands in front of her body as if she was a young schoolgirl. I was sitting with Serena, Nate, Kati and Iz. Serena was sitting to Nate's left, there was empty seat next to him where Blair was supposed to sit, then me, then Kati, then Iz, then two girls from Chapin who was sitting next to Serena. I suppose it was regarded as the young adult table. Making eye contact with Serena both raised out eyebrows at each other worried about the prolonged time that Blair was at the bar.
"We are sitting next to each how wonderful. I was just moved here unexpectedly," Penelope said as she sat next to Nate with a glass of white Sangria. I barely noticed the Blair wannabee at the bar prior. "Makes sense though why Blair would not want to sit by certain people at this table."
I realized she was no longer sitting at our table when I watched her take a seat right next to her mother. Brunch was being to be served as the staff moved around delivering a light brunch after the filling appetizer spread. I want to groaned when I realized Blair would not occupy the seat to my right and I had to sit next to Penelope. It must have been her mothers' doing. Blair glanced over to our table fear on her face as she kept her left hand hidden on her lap. I knew every minute she had that ring on her finger was a risk especially with all the socialites in the vicinity who would instantly recognize the ring as a pre-war antique and make the connection to the Archibald/Vanderbilt family quickly if they knew of Nate and Blair's prolonged relationship. Nate seemed cool in comparison as he chatted with Penelope who looked like she wanted to jump on him. Serena tried and failed to maneuver herself into their conversation but failed. I ignored everyone until I heard Blair's name mentioned by Penelope.
"So you guys are like really over?" she asked as she twirled her hair and showed off her overly large teeth.
"Umm… well it is complicated," Nate offered and I rolled my eyes.
"Well maybe you should have put a ring on it," she said and instantly my stomach dropped. Why would she even mention a ring? What was her end game? Serena dropped her water glass right onto Penelope's lap.
"Oh my god. I am so sorry," Serena as she stood up and tried to wipe her yellow and white dress as Penelope only turned redder and redder in each passing moment. She quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. I nudged Nate hoping to pull his attention.
"I think she knew something," I whispered to him.
"Nah she wouldn't have flirted with me if she thought we were engaged or something," he did not whisper back and all the girls in the table looked up at him.
"Oh look, caviar!" Serena all but yelled out trying to grab the attention. Juvenile, S. I debated between poking Nathaniel with the butter knife or Serena for her foolish attempts.
"Ladies, have you heard my dear friend Nathaniel is single and is currently on the market for a new lover. I am sure he would love to spend some time getting to know you," I said trying to diffuse the situation and when they all smiled back, I knew I had won their attention. I invited them to hang out with us later this week.
I needed this ring off my finger. Now. The anxiety was building as I sat at the table and picked at the foie gras on my plate as I tried to listen to my mother go on and on about trying to find the right model for her fall commercial campaign for her ready to wear line. I smiled politely as I tried to feign interest. But the ring on my finger felt as if it was tightening. It was as if it was cutting off my circulation of my entire hand at this point and I was crazy to take it off. I tried to pull at it once again under the napkin that I placed on my lap. If anything, it felt tighter. Tapping my foot, I looked over at where Serena, Nate, and Chuck were seated when Penelope screamed and fled from the table. If she could go to the bathroom then so could I with of course a lot more grace.
"If you could excuse me," I said after I stood and clutched my hands in front of my self. I felt quite childish as I did. I made sure to walk in front of Serena's line of vision and she nodded at me to join my exit to the bathroom. She joined me out in the Villard Foyer.
"Serena, please tell me you have something to take this off. I am at the point where I would allow you to chop it off. Cornelius Vanderbilt be damned," I whispered to her.
"Got it but lets use a further bathroom. We don't want the same one as Penelope. I think she saw the…" Serena whispered to me.
I groaned as I raised my hands in the air as I thought of her knowing. "Blair!" Serena yelled as she grabbed my exposed left hand and pulled me from the foyer. I could not even think about one of the girls at school thinking I was engaged to Nate or anyone for that manner. Not after everything Nate has done to me, they would think I was weak for going back to him.
We entered the smaller bathroom and after ensuring that it was, indeed empty Serena opened her bag and pulled out the butter that was wrapped in a cloth napkin.
"Here," she said as she headed me the full stick of butter wrapped in the white linen cloth.
"Did you think we were going to bake or something in here?" I asked her as I grabbed the stick and pinched some off to rub against my finger.
"I was nervous. I don't know how bad your fat fingers were stuck," she laughed.
"My fingers are not fat!" I yelled back as I shimmied the ring off my finger. Finally, the weight of the Vanderbilt ring was gone. With it off and in the palm of my hand, I suddenly realized how light the ring actually was.
"Blair?" Serena broke my attention and I looked up at her in confusion.
"Yes? Oh wait, are you sure about Penelope?" I asked remembering what she had just mentioned.
"I don't she made a comment about putting a ring on it," Serena shrugged. I groaned as I carefully placed the heirloom on the counter and washed the butter of my fingers. I knew that P wanted the throne and while incredibly rich, she did not have the support to take over my place. Even with this information, it was hardly great blackmail material.
"I will bring her down a notch or two at school tomorrow," I told Serena as I dried off and picked up the ring to return it to Nate. I was ready to walk out of the bathroom when Serena stopped me.
"Wait. Blair are you really okay with you and Nate? Is this really what you want? Cause for years you coveted the ring," Serena asked with concern. The worry was clearly displayed on her face. I tried to determine the source of the worry but I was not sure entirely that I wanted to know answer.
"Yes. Oh my god even more so now, I don't know but wearing that ring. I realized that I did not want that anymore. It was a childish dream and I know now that I do not want it anymore. I am so ready to take on a new chapter in my life," I explained to her.
"Are you sure? Blair, I know sometimes you pretend things are okay and you get overly excited about things" Serena began but I cut her off quickly.
"Serena I am okay. Trust me. Nate and I are over. For good."
"So what about Chuck?" she asked.
"No. I don't know," I tried to explain. "I cannot really think about this now," I whispered to her.
"Later?" she continued to pester on. "After brunch why don't you come on up to my room. I still need to organize my closet and we both know how much you love organizing and telling me what to do," she teased.
"Okay, I will come up after," I promised. I stepped around her and walked out of the bathroom into the foyer right in Chuck Bass.
"Chuck," I grasped afraid that he might have overheard something. I could tell nothing from the smirk on his face.
"Hello ladies. I have been sent on an errand to retrieve the Vanderbilt ball and chain," he smirked as he held out his hand.
"What did Nate did not want to face me?" I asked as I laughed and handed off the ring.
"I think he was afraid to face the both of you," Chuck said with a chuckle. I knew he was trying to insinuate something however, I was not fully certain about what he meant.
"Let's head back," Serena urged before I could go ask any questions.
I was more than happy when brunch was coming to an end. I informed my mother that I planned to stay and speak to Serena after brunch. She made sure to pull me aside to remind me about my reputation and I tried not to roll my eyes when I ensured her that I understood. The room was almost entirely cleared out besides a few eager business people who were sucking up to Bart Bass. A few others who were enjoying the open bar and fresh fruit spread. I was now sitting in an empty table with Serena sharing a New York cheesecake while sipping on Prosecco. Chuck came and sat across from us with a plate that had two eclairs.
"I do believe I reserved these for you and you have yet to try them," he said smoothly as he sipped on a scotch.
"I'll have one if you have the other," I smiled back at him hoping I seemed friendly. I really wanted to speak to him about today. I was not sure yet what I wanted to say to him or what I needed to say to him. I knew that I needed to say something. He looked hurt when he walked in on Nate and I am I wanted to find out what I meant. I knew that assuming too much or trying too hard with Bass would just lead me to be burned.
"Of course, after you princess," he joked as he grabbed one. I grabbed the other one and could not helped but smile for some reason. That is the thing about Chuck he made me smile without trying. Hold it together, Blair. I bite into the soft pastry letting the lavish cream fill into my mouth that was divine. I licked the side of my mouth to ensure I did not leave any cream on my face. Chuck's was looking at me with dark eyes as he stopped short of biting the éclair. Our eyes were locked as my tongue dabbed the right side of my mouth.
"So where is your better half, Chuck?" Serena said breaking our silence and made me shift my gaze.
"Speaking to his father and returning a certain priceless heirloom to his mother," he said and I found his smirk to be cruel. I sat back and looked away from him towards Serena. I knew he was joking but it was too soon. He excused himself to find a marble model or something. Soon enough the cheesecake was gone and the drinks were finished. Serena and I were just about to leave when a beeping sounded from our phones alerting us to a text message from Gossip Girl.
I spy with my little eye caviar, champagne, cheesecake, and classic princess cut diamond rings at this brunch. Seems like our very own Blair Waldorf is engaged to who? Well from the picture attached, I do believe this is the famed Vanderbilt family ring. A Vanderbilt heir and a Waldorf this is a marriage that New York City has been waiting a century to see, I better be on the guest list- XOXO Gossip Girl
Attached were photos me at the bar with my hand to my side tighten to a fist but the ring was visible against my white eyelet dress. My heart began beating as I thought through what the girls at school would think Monday. Engaged to my cheating boyfriend and talking to Serena yet again would only show me off as weak. I hated it. I knew somewhere deep down it was not the worst news that came my way this week but the embarrassment had me jumping from my seat and quickly exiting the ballroom. Nate and Chuck both approached me from opposite sides in the foyer and reached me at the same time.
"It really is not a big deal Waldorf," Chuck said.
"Are you okay? I am sorry about the blast but we could always announce it as the truth," Nate said smoothly.
"B, we could just go up to my room," Serena offered.
"I don't know I think Blair and me have a lot to discuss," Nate offered and looked at me with hopeful eyes.
"Why don't we all go back to my suite," Chuck suggested quickly after Nate. I looked back and forth between them agitated.
"Everyone please stop talking. Please. I just want to quiet. I want to forget," I all but whined as I bought my heads to my forehead.
"We could get drunk and watch Audrey," Serena suggested.
"No," I looked at Nate. "Do you have weed?" I asked him our resident pothead. Chuck laugh.
"I have some in my suite, let's all go back," Chuck said after he chuckled while Nate looked as usual confused.
"It's been ages since I have seen a buzzed Blair," Serena giggled as we walked to the elevator.
"It's been a hell of a week," I told them honestly.
We got back to Chuck's suite and within moments, the joints were lighted up and passed around. Soon enough we were giggling and laughing together as we talking about the time that Chuck and Nate poured glue on Marylee's dress in third grade on picture day because she wore the same Lily Pulitzer dress as me. Serena then doused her with glitter. After our giggles stopped, Chuck then went to the bar to grab us drinks.
"Scotch anyone?" he asked us.
"No, champagne," I offered. I did not want to be cross-faded and I needed to have a clear head tomorrow (6). Honestly, they all had higher tolerances than I did since I rarely ever got high. My giggles were telling me that I already needed to stop.
"Fine," he came back with the bottle and four glasses. "What are we celebrating?" he asked me.
"To being friends regardless of how much we hate each other," I suggested again.
"Blair, you love us," Serena said laughing.
"I have reason to hate everyone in this room. You slept with him, he slept with you. And Chuck is just a sleaze," I offered.
"True. Blair just broke my heart, Chuck was flirting with my ex girlfriend last night, and Serena turned my life inside out," Nate said as he raised a glass.
"Don't blame me," Serena said, as she blushed red. The tension in the room was back. My buzz was fading and I felt foolish for my joke.
"Hey, lets just cheer to getting Blair to smoke today," Chuck offered as he raised his glass to connect with Nate's and I joined them while looking pleadingly at Serena to just follow along. She did. As we sat back and drank the champagne the silence in the room was broken by a loud band against the door. Chuck stood up and was halfway to the door when we had laughing and the door was opened letting in a stumbling Bart Bass and Lily Van der Woodsen. The silence grew even more awkward as the smell of the weed waffled in the room, as Lily and Bart were silent as Serena yelled gross standing up as well. I looked over at Nate and raised an eyebrow that I hope conveyed my message of 'and we thought our parents had issues'.
"Told you we should have gone with the harder liquor," Chuck drawled out in his bored tone but I could see the corners of lips twitching as he held back a laugh for his father's benefit. He looked proud of Bart getting with Lily the same way that Bart Bass looked earlier today when Chuck tried to stand up to my mother. Suddenly I remembered Chuck's Lily, Anne and Eleanor joke from Wednesday. Maybe it was the stress, maybe it was the liquor, maybe it was the weed or a combination of all three but I was laughing and it was uncontrollable as the only sound in the room was my laugh. I felt everyone's eyes on me but I could not control myself. So I let go and laughed and laughed.
1 Vanderbilts were one of the richest families in the Gilded Age all from the wealth that Cornelius Vanderbilt and his son built. Soon the family was well known for its philanthropy. They are also well known for building amazing mansions if you have not visited at least one you should. I was able to see the Vanderbilt Mansion in Hyde Park, New York and it was amazing. They built ten grand mansions on Fifth Avenue that were all demolished, the Biltmore House (the largest privately owned house in America), the Whitney Museum in New York City was founded by Gertrude Vanderbilt Whitney (granddaughter of Cornelius), the Breakers (as a summer cottage), and the Vanderbilt University in Nashville. They donated to charities, schools, and hospitals all around America but there money is all but gone now. Anyway, even though the ring and characters are fake their legacy is essential to what Blair is feeling.
2 the Villard Ballroom is located on the second floor of the Palace Hotel. I am unsure which room the brunch is filmed at and I looked over the ballroom images and found that the Villard Ballroom closely matches the room. It sits about 450 for a reception and 320 people for a banquet. You enter the Villard Foyer from the Outside Courtyard and then the Villard Ballroom is to the left and the Reid Salon is to the right.
3 Quote from Miguel de Cervantes.
4 In 2007, Georgina Bloomberg, Michael Bloomberg's daughter would have been in her early twenty. I am sure she is lovely but I wanted to show the circles that they would be around. Laura Remington Platt was the heir of Remington Arms, which was America's oldest gun maker. Remington had to be sold off in 2007 due to debt and Platt soon entered the fashion/beauty world (#2007recession). The Astor's are a famous New York family infamously reported of elder abuse against the family matriarch in 2006.
5 Bogie aka cigarette.
6- Crossfaded means being high and drunk at the same time.
A.N: I enjoyed leaving little nest eggs of information and using small items and memories of my creation to help explore the characters further like the cigarette case. The idea that Chuck would hold a trinket of his mother's close to his heart and it is a feminine trinket helps shows how confident this teenage boy is of himself, how daring he is, and how much he misses the women he never knew just warms my heart for him. I love Eleanor being a boss in this chapter even if she is stopping Chair at the moment but seriously how awkward would it have been for Blair to sit in between Chuck and Nate at brunch. Really, she saved her from an awkward brunch.
Some might see the last couple of chapters as OC for Blair but I needed to let her release some of the pent up emotions that she has. A lot of you suggested that Chuck could help her with that but we are not quite there in the story yet. So a lot of laughter instead that was meant to contrast with the silence she felt in her flashback and throughout this chapter for the most part.