Summary: Using the major storylines from the show Dangerous Affections is told only through the point of view of Chuck and Blair. Starting with Serena's arrival in town after Nate and her almost have sex but are interrupted when Chuck finds them. Chuck threatens Serena and Nate to tell Blair about their past indiscretions and when they do, Blair declares war on Nate and Serena. Rejected and hurt over all the betrayal Blair has a relapse in her struggle with her eating disorder and learns more about her mother piecing some of their jagged relationship together. As part of her revenge, Blair hooks up with Chuck until he realizes that she is using him to get back at Nate. Serena and Blair are beginning to become friends again as Blair tried to let go of the perfection she strive to achieve. Bart and Chuck cannot seem to be on the same page as each other as Chuck wants his respect and Bart does not know how to play a father. At Blair's Kiss on the Lip's Party Nate confronts Blair over photos she sent to his mother and Dan and Chuck begin their rivalry over Chuck trying to sleep with Jenny. After a night of dancing and flirting at the party, Chuck leaves Blair high and dry which begins the hot and cold vibe that he is continuing to send her. Blair is determined to seduce Chuck and he is determined to ignore her. At the Bart annual Brunch, Serena finds out about Chuck's feeling's for Blair and he discovers more about Nate and her. After Blair rejects Nate's proposal his ring is stuck on her finger leading to rumors of an engagement. In addition, the shock of seeing Blair with an engagement ring on forces Chuck to conclude that he is in love with Blair. In the last chapter, Nate's father is arrested on time to stop a possible hook up between Chuck and Blair. Chuck arrives at Blair's door overcome by his feelings with her before realizing that Nate was in Blair's penthouse feeling foolish and dissuaded he leaves.
A.N: I am so happy with all the positive reviews I received so quickly. I tried to get this chapter out as quickly as possible. We are officially (a little more than) half way through the story. I included a very long summary that nuts4soccer requested. I tried to highlight the major parts but there were important parts that I did cut out. I have never been good at being concise so the short summary is indeed very long. To super-guest, I do not think that Bart would not get upset because he does not really care if they smoke pot. I find Lily and Bart to be more than aware that their kids are going to drink and do drugs. Hell they are all always drinking in front of their parents. I find them to care more about perception and if their under-age illegal behaviors are going to bar them from college or other goals rather than actually caring about drug use. No parents of the year award here. A lot more Blair POV to balance out the heavy Chuck POV last chapter.
Disclaimer: Do not own the Gossip Girl characters.
It is the selfish parents who are to blame. Pay attention, be involved in your children's lives. They are your legacy, your only hope. -Aaron B. Powell
Glancing around before I exited the taxi to the Ostroff Center I stepped out anxious for the meeting to be finished before it even began. I had to get here right after school in order to attend the mixer at six, which left me little time to return home and get ready. But my mother and Doctor Cohen were adamant that I continue to see Dr. Cohen weekly and I forgot to reschedule earlier in the week. At least I convinced them for my mental health to only keep me for half an hour.
Once I as seated in the couch in her office I was able to breathe a sigh of relief now that I finally had some alone time this week. I had spent every day this week with Nate for at least an hour trying to support him and be a listener in his moment of need. Serena did not seem to care or want to be helpful. She was more concerned with whether or not I was catching feelings again for Nate. I tried to explain to her that I was just trying to be a friend and Nate had been there for me when my father left town. True I was supporting him more than he did for me but it was in my nature to take care of others. I could not just turn it off. To be perfectly honest to myself, which I am supposed to do in therapy, I think I was using Nate as a shield. He was my shield for Chuck.
I was scared by whatever I was feeling. It was new and strong after that kiss on Monday. That kiss was unlike the other one it was sudden and I was unprepared for it. I did nothing to even try to seduce him rather he came to me. That thrilled me and scared me. It was a mistake to catch feelings for a man incapable of feeling. If I stupidly fell for his charm than I was no brighter than the Jenny Humphrey's of the world who thought they could land Chuck. It was obvious that Chuck respected his friendship with Nate enough to reject me the few times he did. However, I was afraid that the moment he thought I was done with Nate he would pounce on me quicker than a lioness would on an injured prey. Whenever I sat with them at lunch this week I felt his eyes watching me like a bird circling over it next meal. So I protected myself with Nate's attention. Honestly, his attention was unappealing and his presence did nothing for me other than keep Chuck at bay while I decided. Whereas when Chuck's eyes burned into my skin as I felt his eyes grope my body lingering on my chest as if he could envision me bare before him. His masculine scent that was only Chuck causing me to press my thighs close together as it shocked me to my core. How when I was around him I could not help but touch him in sneakily small ways. Stubbly but I lived for the moments in the courtyard or helping Nate vent together. I ran my fingers over the back of his hand under the table on Tuesday at lunch to which his only response was the hitch in his breath when I started. Then on Wednesday in his limo as we drove to the Archibald residence I, sat next him while texting on my phone but made sure my body was pressed against his. The heat of his body burning through his suit felt it was burning my clothes off and the dark look in his eyes made me feel like I might as well be naked there. On Thursday when Nate stepped away from us to talk to his mother leaving us together in his room we had our first alone conversation since the kiss on Monday.
"So are you happy playing the misses again?" he asked smugly as he normal world but I saw the fire burning in his eyes.
"I am not playing Chuck. I am single," I responded staring him down challenging him.
"Could have fooled me," he said. He looked bored but I knew he was not because his body was tense and ridged. When he stopped his intense glaze, I stood and moved to sit next to him. Crossing my legs letting my right leg fall over his purposefully. His eyes moved to study them. When he reached out to touch my nylon thigh-high tights running his hand up to my thigh were they ended pulling on garter playfully.
"Nice choice in lingerie. From the new agent provocateur line?" He asked after his pulled his hand away. But I was taking deep breathes unable to do much but nod at his question. After the moment lapsed, I caught my breath.
"Chuck I am single. I promise. I don't want Nate anymore," I told him unsure why the words were even coming out of my mouth. But whenever I was around him it was like this - my weakness overcame me.
"What is that really want Blair?" He asked and I was stumped. What did I want? The steps coming closer reminded me Nate was coming back and I pulled myself away from him back to my original seat.
Today at school, Chuck and Nate joined me and the girls on the tops of the Met steps. There were only going so many nice days like this before winter that I relished the light breeze and warm fall sun. The gossip about the Archibald was still strong but that did not stop the girls from trying to flirt with him. I was rolling my eyes with Serena as Hazel tried to talk to him about his mother making Serena laugh along with me. Suddenly, Chuck moved up a step to sit on my level. I knew everyone was looking at him even as they continued their conversations. He leaned back his elbow resting on the top step playing with his sunglasses.
"Ready to charm the Yale rep?" He asked casually as if it was normal for him to sit this high. The met steps displayed the hierarchy at Constance. I have only ever let Nate sit beside me when he was my boyfriend. Eventually Serena might join me but for now, she was on the step below until I forgave her transgressions completely.
I stared him down to know he was not in his place. "Yes, don't screw this up for me," I told him. Anger and shame flashed in his eyes before he took his Ray bans and put them on. I felt a bit of guilt.
"It's going to go off without a hitch," Hazel butted in trying to cheer me up. Seconds after Serena and Katz were standing up ready to walk to over to school.
As I stood up and walked over, I felt Chuck's hand on my lower back guiding me. We were in the back of the group. I could have walked faster and out of his hand but I did not. I like that he there guiding me along. I felt comfortable even safe. Then Nate turned and looked at us as we stood on the crosswalk waiting for the change in light. It was automatic and no thought to it. I moved away from Chuck tapping on the shoulders on my minions to ensure that I was now by Serena side as we discuss the distance between New Haven and Providence once more (1). I never looked back at Chuck or Nate the rest of the way into school. Chuck was right I needed to decide what I wanted.
So here I was with only one thing one my mind not Nate, not the food I ate today for lunch, and not how my body looked in my Stella McCarthy skirt rather only Chuck was on my mind.
"So Blair, I we are short on time today so the hardest question first, did you relapse this week?" she asked me attempting to look friendly and safe. It only made me annoyed. I informed her that I did not in fact relapse. "Did you want to?"
I nodded at her as I thought back to the past week. I thought back to how Chuck saved me from my lonesomeness at the Kiss at the Lips Party after Nate's huge explosion. I shifted in my seat as those feelings came back and I was wondering why I even forgave Nate as the wound suddenly felt fresh and new. Then how at the brunch coming off the elevator with the Vanderbilt engagement ring on my finger I suddenly felt small when I found my mom staring me down. It was Chuck again that stood by my side his hand resting on my back to let me know he was there. Then I thought back to two Wednesdays ago at my mother's party when he stood long after everyone else encouraging me to eat dinner. We joked, we laughed, and we talked about books that night that Nate never read. I thought of how when Chuck kissed me, he kissed me all of me. It was as if he was kissing my body and my soul at the same time. Because as he alluded to it was not only my body that attracted him, it was my mind, my wit. Dammit, I think he liked me for me. Through all of my toying with him this week, he tried to be respectful of Nate and I watched him care for his best friend. I thought back to all our conversations this past two weeks, how he was there for me, how he made me free, and most importantly he made me feel like it was okay to be me. Suddenly in that office away from Nate, Serena, my mother, Chuck and even Dorota I felt like I was hit with a moving car. Suddenly I was breathing deeply when I felt someone grab my shoulder.
"Blair are you alright?" Dr. Cohen asked.
"I think… I think I lo-like someone," I told her hating that the words were coming out of my mouth.
"With Nate?" she asked still sitting next to me rubbing my back coaxing me to remember to breathe.
"No. With his friend, Chuck, Chuck Bass," I told her. Saying it aloud suddenly felt silly and childish. Chuck Bass would never do commitment. Even if I knew he cared for me at least as a friend and I had his respect there was no way it could be anything more than that. He told me himself that he could not do this because of Nate. How could this go anyway?
"You mentioned in the last session that you like to have a boyfriend as a status symbol. Is that what this is?" she asked carefully. I shook my head fiercely.
"If you knew Chuck you would know why that could never be true. He would never be my boyfriend," I told her.
"Why do you say that? Does he make you feel unworthy of being his girlfriend?" she asked as she jotted down notes.
I snorted a laugh. "Chuck just doesn't do girlfriend. He is more of a sleep with everything that walks kinda person. He would never be caught ever having a girlfriend. But that is fine. Dating him would be like social suicide anyway. Then again, it's not like he is an outsider. He is extremely well off. I am sure you know of his father. But he is Nate's best friend and that might be weird in the beginning. Then again, Nate did sleep with my best friend so its like karma. It might be a bad time cause I am sure that you know Nate's father was arrested via the Daily News and the New York Post," I quickly told her. When I was nervous, I admittedly spoke fast and she tried to keep up her scribbles.
The mixer was just beginning and I got word from my father that he would be here soon. I have not seen him since Sunday night when Nate came into our suite. I spent the week trying to help Nathaniel with his family problems whenever I was not obsessing over Blair. After my slip on Monday, I vowed to stay away from her and remain indifferent. However, she was always there slightly touching me while giving me looks that made me want to take her wherever we were. I was only grateful that we did not really have a long conversation since that kiss on Monday made me feel like a fool. I could not, would be a fool for her.
Whenever I was not trying to help Nathaniel I was knee deep in restate information and consumer information regarding burlesques while cross-referencing age groups with advertising strategies. I pulled from my personal bank account to hire an assistant and a consultant. I was only days away from bringing this proposal to my father and I was damn proud. However, less proud of the fact that after leaving the Archibald's residence yesterday and realizing how close I was to snapping my resistance to Blair I went out last night. I went out last night to forget the taste of her lips. I got drunk last night to ignore the way the skin on her thigh felt. I went in the lower east side which resulting in a drunken argument to stop the image of her standing by Nate through all of this. I was in the Upper East Side and Lenox hill section of the city when the good men and women of the 19th precinct came to stop the argument from resulting in a fight after smashing a few bottles. When the bar owner discovered I was underage he persuaded them to not press charges. I was more than sure the news of my drunken behavior got back to my father rather than news of my work on my business.
I watched as Blair walked around the room in her stylish navy pantsuit (f). Her hair was in a bun revealing the back of her neck and for some reason every time it came into my view I flashed to when I pushed her up against the bar in my suite. I should have just slept with her then maybe this love shit would have never occurred. She was ensuring that everything was perfect. Most of the representatives were here but Brown, Yale, and Cornell were running late it seemed. So that left me free and in events like this there was no alcohol on hand so I was stuck with sparkling water. I stood there watching Blair chat with Nate now and I had to look away. What did he have that I did not? Him and his matching tie and suit shirt. The complimentary tie and shirt thing is so 1980s but I think what annoyed me most was the fact that his tie had yellow in it matching Blair perfectly (f).
"So how is it going?" Serena asked as she came over in yet another summer dress for a fall event and stood by me with at drink in her hand that looked like white wine. I leaned over close enough to smell the drink.
"How did you get that?" I asked a little annoyed that Serena was able to get wine at this event.
"Dan is working the beverages station. Batted my eyes and told him he looks very good in plum," she shared with a shrug. "Don't think that would work for you."
"I thought he was mad at you?" I asked wondering how did I leave my flask at home. Stupid tweed jacket without in inner pocket. Brooks Brother just lost my business well at least until their new winter line is revealed.
"I think he thinks he stopped too soon because everyone thinks Nate and Blair are going to get back together," her eyebrow raised slightly as if to question what I thought.
"He didn't put up much of a fight. I thought your mother was coming?" I asked as I looked around for Lily trying to sneer the conversation away from Blair and Nate. Too be honest, I was intrigued by my father's relationship with Lily. My father never dates and when he did date women beyond a few romps of sex, it was always supermodels.
"She is with your father and Eric is coming too," she made a sour face at the thought of our parents together.
"If this continues then we might be related," I told her with a sleazy smirk.
"What are you thinking and why are you smirking like that?" she asked.
"I always wanted a sibling. Ultimate taboos and all," I said with a wink.
"Gross," she hissed but remained standing next me to me. "Since it seems like they," she mentioned with her head point to Nathaniel and Blair, "might get back together you are not going to tell her about… you know. I won't tell Nate about you and…. I think they have a chance to be happy this time around," she shared. I looked back over to them. They were standing there talking to Anne and the history professor. They looked like a great couple together.
"That's if you stay away. You can play the best friend role but you are not fooling me," I told her harshly.
"Pot calling the kettle black," she whispered back looking around to see if any of our classmates were paying attention.
"Let's just forget the last two weeks," I told her hoping she would forget about my feelings that I opened up by my weakness about last week.
"Chuck, I know you maybe… had feelings for Blair" she began but I cut her off. Her words were too real and too accurate now.
"Our parents are here," I said as I pushed off the wall that I was leaning on officially agitated and annoyed.
When we reached Lily and Bart, I instantly recognized that my father was not in a good mood. He had lost a lot of money in China so this evening was not going to be pleasant. His tight smile was on as he greeted Serena and me. His eyes were staring down at me telling me that he wanted to speak to me privately. Over the years, I have learned his signals. Wanting to stop an argument before it began; I took it upon myself to suggest talking to the side.
"Eric how was Florida? Not a tanner I see," I greeted the younger classmate of mine. "Lily, how you look lovely as usual," I told the always elegant Lily van der Woodsen.
"Charles, so lovely to see you here," she leaned to kiss me on the cheek. I was raised to have the highest Upper East Side manners even if my nighttime activities suggest otherwise.
"Father could I speak to you a moment before the Yale representative arrives?" I asked him the polite smile never fading from my face.
"Yes, may you excuse us," he told them as we walked over past the refreshments and reached a quiet section of hallway in the Constance side of the building. The moment we were alone I felt the anger radiating off him.
"Father," I said trying to break the silence while placing my hand in my pants pocket.
"Chuck, I was not going to do this here but since you pulled me aside I might as well tell you how disappointed I am in your behavior last night. Do you know how it feels to be on an overnight night flight in the sky and find out that your son got into an argument in which the police were called to? In a bar I own no less," he told me and I was only grateful that his voice was not booming. I rolled my eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"It was a disagreement. It was fine. No arrest or anything because I handled it," I told him trying for him to see me as a responsible man in some regard.
"You mean you handled it by using my last name and my money," his eyes glaring at me. The disgust in his face hit me hard but I had my ground.
"It is my last name too," I told him pointing to myself and stepping towards him.
"And what a disgrace you have brought to it," his voice was ice cold. He pushed passed me with his shoulder on his way back into the gathering. It was the last place I wanted to be right now. If anything, I wanted to be swallowed up into a hole. There the hurt would not be as strong as it was. This was my father the man with no filter who was always around to see all of my mistakes and incapable of seeing any good in me. Probably because of the good that was in me left me the day I was born and took my mother from the world. My father saw me for what I truly was, a waste.
I stood there off to the side holding the AV equipment that I was collecting because Jenny could not seem to locate it. If you want something done right you need to do it yourself. Standing to the side of the hallway unseen, I listened in on Bart Bass wrongly yelling at Chuck. It was all over the Times business section that Bart Bass lost a twenty million dollar deal in Beijing today and the stock prices of Bass Industries were rapidly dropping due to the news. The market would have just closed for the weekend already leaving the last and final major news story in the business world this weekend the fails of B.I until the exchange opened on Monday. Right now Bart should be in business meetings cementing support and confidence in B.I but here he was to support his son. While my father was half way around the world because he did not like the gossip that people were saying and my mother was not here either because even though she was in town her fashion-advertising meeting was essential to the ready to wear line for this season's new look. All of that was more important to them than I was. But Bart was here risking maybe billions and millions of people's jobs while my mother could not risk her Vogue advertising for the month.
"Chuck," I walked closer to him as he leaned his head against the wall. The velvet collar on his tweed jacket only reminded me how different and stylish he was. He turned sharply to look at me and I felt silly for holding onto the mic and stand that were cradled in my hands. "Are you okay?"
"I would be better if I could get alcohol," he quickly responded covering up whatever he was feeling.
"Chuck…" I wanted to ask him how he was feeling but I did not know how.
"Blair, what do you want?" he asked me rough and annoyed.
"Chuck, your father did not mean that he is stressed out," I tried to explain his behavior to Chuck.
"Do not presume to know my father," he bit out at me.
"Fine, I won't. But I know you. This week I know how much you have been working on your business proposal. I know how much time you spent with Nate helping him through this hard time. I know that the caterers that I wanted for this event were too expensive for the Constance budget and the other anonymous source that payed half the budget was you. I know that you are a good man. A better man that even your father could ever hope to be and if cannot see that in you than fuck him," I told him proud I keep my voice steady. If Chuck could come to my rescue, I could come to his.
He looked at me with a sad smile and I wanted to reach out to hug him when Hazel came interrupting us looking for the microphone and me. I nodded at him before walking away from him. I wanted to know what he was going to say but a little afraid. After coming to the conclusion that I like this man I was worried that somehow it would show. When I got back to the main courtyard, I realized that the Yale representative had arrived when Chuck and I were gone. I hoped Chuck returned soon. By the time, I made sure the techies got the audio equipment set up and went to speak to the Yale representative Chuck was there laughing off with him. I smiled internally happy he was in better spirits before approaching them.
When I finally did approach them, it was marvelous. Ben Silbermann was representing the school at this event. He now worked at Google and was at Constance hoping to attach more computer programmers to Yale. However, our conversation quickly became about pin boards and how we organize our creative ideas. The conversation went so well that we arranged to have lunch at the Yale Club (2). Chuck kept up with the conversation and it smoothly flowed into a conversation about app development. Chuck and I dominated his time thus leaving all the other wannabe Yale attendees little time to chat with him Mr. Silbermann. It was Chuck's duty to escort him around the room and make introductions but he made no effort to end the conversation. I think he wanted to show me off as much as possible to Silbermann. We communicated so well working off each other able to guide the conversation to highlight each other strengths. It would have never occurred if Nate was here talking to the Yale rep with me. (3)
I excused myself from my escort after introducing him to Nelly Yuki who promised to do all my history essays for the semester for ten minutes alone. It was an easy sell and I found myself at the refreshment table that was guard by the Humphrey clan. I was determine to have some alcohol at least. Being here for over ninety minutes, being cold sober was killing me.
"You have scotch?" I asked annoyed that I have not had a drink and still pissed over my father's words. I knew Blair was trying to give me a pep talk and I would be lying if I said it did not work. She made me feel proud and noticed for something other than my bad behavior. It gave me hope that she could see beyond my bad.
"Nope," the Dan said looking like he ate a sour grape in the most unfortunate polyester blend suit I have seen on this side of the central park. He was a disgraced to the Saint Jude logo.
"Wine at least?" I asked trying again. Here I was pissed off at my father having to deal with Brooklyn nobodies who were trying to restrict my access to alcohol.
"Nope. Water?" he said obviously lying.
"Serena was drinking white wine," I said while moving closer ready to strangle him if I had to when a glass of white wine appeared in front of me.
"Here, you go Chuck," jenny said with a cute smile. I smiled back mostly to piss off her brother.
"Thank you Jenny. And how are you doing?" I asked as I sipped the wine. At least it was mediocre wine.
"Fine, Chuck. I just wanted to apologize for the huge mess last Friday," she giggled before she spoke and I quickly realize that she was trying to flirt with me. Dan tried to admonish Jenny for her actions but I ignored him as I winked at her causing her to giggle some more. She was over dressed out of place in her cerulean blue dress (f). At that moment, one of the parents came over to grab drinks allowing me to reach over and lightly touch her hand that was on the bar. Blair was wrong about me being a better man. I was always on the look for a cheap thrill. I needed it to feel alive to fill the loneliness that crept in from time to time. Right now, I was feeling unbelievably alone after my Bart's words and Blair spending so much time with Nate. I was not worthy of my own father there was no way that I would be worthy of her.
"I am happy to see you in a better mood. I would love to see more of you, soon," I told her and the blush on her face with her big smile alerted me to how eager this girl was.
"What are you doing? Listen we are not playing stupid games with you and your crew," Dan informed as he yanked Jenny's hand away causing me to chuckle.
"What is happening here. You guys should not be talking especially after what happened the last time," Blair said appearing from nowhere. While speaking she pinched my shoulder in a warning for me not to cause a scene. I pulled out of her grasp and Jenny winked at me as I walked away. I never looked at Blair it suddenly hurt to because looking at her was like looking in a mirror at myself. She would instantly know how hurt I was because of earlier. I did not want her to see me like this so I dunk and ran like the coward I knew I was.
I walked away from them towards an empty classroom knowing Jenny would follow me shortly. Eager to find some distraction for this event and to stick one to Dan I was more than happy to hook up with little J.
"What is happening here?" I asked Jenny and Dan after Chuck walked away.
"Nothing, Dan and Chuck seem to have bad blood," Jenny offered. I glared at her brother. "I have to go get more sparkling water, I'll be right back."
"Champagne," I told him as I placed my glass on the counter needing a refill. "You know you are a fool for messing things up with Serena," I told him annoyed. Truth of the matter was I was annoyed I had to listen to Serena all week whine about Dan and his wave. He did not look too bad in his deep plum textured shirt with a black paisley tie and black suit (f). Well it did look like a cheap suit but all in all much better than that that vest I saw him in yesterday.
"I know. I thought she and Nate had something but it seems like you and him are the perfect couple," he commented as he replenished my champagne.
"Nate and Serena have been over for ages, a whole year ago. My love life is no concern of yours," I told him dismissively. I was hoping to encourage him to pursue her again; she could stop yapping about him. He looked deeply confused. In that moment, my heart dropped with the feeling that someone knows something that you have no knowledge of. I glared at him urging him to speak.
"On the day of the Bass brunch when I came to see her Nate was there waiting for her too. She was on the way back from having breakfast with you and invited me to the brunch. She told me she was going to have lunch with Nate because of all the gossip girl blast to clear things up and we could talk later. But when I got there Chuck basically kicked me out of the brunch and told me that they hooked up when she got back form boarding school. I was under the impression that they were not over. So I was preemptive and removed myself from all the drama," he explained in far lengthier way then I was expecting. My heart plummeted to the ground. I could not even explain how suddenly I felt like the floor was ripped out from under me. The way I felt two weeks ago suddenly came back to me even more so because now it was also Chuck keeping things from me.
I quickly turned away from the refreshment table back to the party. I felt numb like all the progress I made this week was all for nothing. All the laughs and tears with Serena suddenly felt fake. All the time and energy I spent trying to help Nate this week only made me feel like a fool. I watched as Serena was laughing off with Eric while Nate was in a deep conversation with his mother. They all lied to me and played me for a fool. How stupid could I be? Everything everyone at school said about me was true I was weak. I looked around for Chuck. I needed Chuck. I needed him to tell me the truth about Serena and Nate since they were both incapable of it apparently.
I rounded a corner in the direction he had just headed into. It did not take me long to find the classroom that he was in. The door was open and there they were pressed up on a blackboard her leg wrapped around his torso he was kissing her neck. It was the same way he had me pressed up against the under my stairs on Monday. Suddenly I realized that I was just another girl in a long line of girls that Chuck Bass pressed up against walls. I should have walked away. Walk away and confront Nate or Serena. But I did not.
"Chuck! Jenny!" I yelled at them forcing them to break up and separate. "I thought I told you hands off my minions," I told him stepping forward into the room.
"Blair, oh my god. Umm… I was just," Jenny rambled as Chuck stood their looking smug and annoyed at my presence.
"Leave," I said looking right at Jenny. I was on edge. No, I was pissed off. Jenny quickly left not looking at me as she did.
"You don't have to get your La Perla's in a bunch," Chuck snarled out as he fixed his blazer and tie.
"I told you no minions," I said stepping closer to him so now we were at arm's length apart.
"You only said that because you were jealous," he said his eyes cold and distant. Far more distant then I had seen him recently.
"You wish," I told him crossing my arms across my chest clearly in defense.
"No you wish. You spent the last week basically acting like a bitch in heat for me," he spat out and my reaction to the word bitch was instant. I slapped him across the face and his smirk never faltered. The tears pricked at my eyes and I blinked them away.
"I told you to stay away from my minions because I don't want you assaulting them because you are just a dog, a lowdown dirty bastard," I told him holding my ground and attempting to hold my emotions in check. He flinched as always when someone called him bastard and I knew I was throwing cruel punches his way.
"So that's why you were here looking for me. Did you even realize the amount of times you leaned into me when we were talking to Mr. Silbermann? Or how you tried to hold my hand once. Or all the times you stared at me, laughed at my jokes. Tell me do you, the little virgin, even know how much you want to fuck me," he sneered out as he stepped closer to me until I was pressed up against the wall. Like bullets at my heart, each of his words hit me one by one. Suddenly I felt alone. Were Nate and Serena still seeing each other? Was Chuck ever my friend? Did I ever have control?
"Chuck," I breathed his name out. We were so close that he was breathing my breath in. I do not know who leaned in first. Him or me. Our lips connected and when my tongue darted out into his mouth I tasted strawberry lip-gloss. I remembered only moments ago that Jenny was in my spot. I was replaceable. Easily replaceable. I pushed him away. Holding my arms out to keep him at arm's length I looked down not wanting to make eye contact with the man I just let kiss me after he called me a bitch. How little did I think of myself that I let him kiss me after that?
"Blair?" his voice was soft and unlike him. I stopped holding him at arm's length and let my arms drop to my side. He placed his finger under my chin picking up my face. When he looked into my eyes, it was only then that I realized that there were tears in my own.
"Chuck, are Nate and Serena still sleeping with each other?" I finally asked. His eyes instantly flared. He backed away dropping his hand.
"No. Not that I know of," he said as he placed his hands into his pockets.
"You told Dan something about them at the brunch?" I told hoping to get answer. He studied me a moment and took a deep breath.
"I lied. I was annoyed about what happen the night before. I wanted to get under the boy's skin and so I used Serena. I did not have time to drag up blackmail. You weren't supposed to hear about it. Sorry if it hurt your feelings," he told me and I was unable to look him to judge if it was true or not.
"So it is not true," I smiled happy that nothing happened.
"Yes. Just a lie," he shared. I nodded and he suggested we go back to the event as he moved further away from me. I nodded at his suggestion. Less than half an hour was left and I should really be there to see that everyone off.
We were walking out back to the party in silence. I felt uncomfortable and confused about the past half hour. Honestly, I was not sure if I should believe Chuck. I do not know why I kept letting him kiss me the way I did. We were passing the entrance on our way back to the event when my mother walked in.
"Mom?" I asked realizing that she was here. Suddenly all the negative thoughts I had of her earlier today were gone. She made it here for me. I felt proud of her. Even her glare at Chuck was not going to bring this moment down. I reached out to hug her excited at her arrival. "I am so happy you made it. I think Mr. Silbermann, the Yale representative is still here. We had a great conversation. Come let me introduce you to him," I told her eagerly.
"Oh dear there is only a little bit of time left, I came here to seek out Serena. My advertising committee just had the wonderful idea of asking her to be the face of my new campaign. Hopefully she says yes," she smiled back at me as she grabbed my arms and beamed at me her excitement clear. "We will have so much fun." She finished off.
My hopes sunk. She was not here for me. She never would be. Serena would be the face of her new line and once again, I felt overlooked and unimportant. I smiled back faking my happiness as I lead her back out to the party to find Serena. I felt Chuck's eyes on me the rest of the night. I was never more confused about him or his feelings. It end of the night was a blur I felt beaten up and disregarded once the night was over. I found myself in my bed curled up on my bed slightly crying after I emptied my stomach over my toilet. I do not even know how it happened and I only realized I did it again after I did it. The tears were hot on my face as I cried because of my weakness, for the unknown betrayal, for finding Chuck with Jenny, for my mother wanting Serena to be the new face of the line. I cried because nothing was fixed and everything was still broken.
F why or why did Blair wear this. This outfit should be burned. She does actually pair perfectly with Nate making me hate the outfit even more. Jenny's dress is way too much for an early-evening reception but it suits her character as an over eager freshman. Serena's dress is from Vena Cava Spring/Summer line 2007 retailed about $150.
1 Brown University is in Providence Rhode Island and Yale is in New Haven.
2 Recognize the name? Ben Silbermann is the creator of Pinterest and Yale alumni. In 2007, he was working for google but left after launching Pinterest. I thought it would be fun to add this. The Yale Club is a private club in Midtown. The membership is restricted to alumni, family of alumni, and faculty of the college. It is located on 50th Vanderbilt Avenue and is the largest private clubhouse in the world. With over 11,000 members their influence and prestige in NYC is well-known which leads me to believe why Chuck Bass was arranged to the be escort. if I was as clever as Bart Bass it would totally be the college to send your son to in order for social gain in the city. It is about a block away from Grand Central. For those who are noticing Vanderbilt Av yet again as popular location for these characters I would like to mention that Vanderbilt Avenue is only about five city blocks long. So it quite small size wise but the influence on this one street is not.
3 I am not sure what the escort jobs truly were but I tried to fill in those blanks. I hope it made sense. Blair does not have a speech or anything like that.
A.N: The Bart and Chuck scene was harsh but it had to be because Chuck was already in a sour mode so rather than fight with Bart he takes the punches in order to feel more pain. The guilt over Nate is eating him up and I have a heard time expressing that guilt so I hope I was able to do that justice. In Bart's defense, he is super stressed out and having to spend his night on a plane as he hears his son is in trouble made him worried but he does not know how to express that worry so he lashes out. Plus the deal crashed angering him some more. But Bart is not a perfect parent and not really a good one either. I love writing these scenes with their parents they seem so young and eager for attention but at the same time they are mature young adults who barely need their parents for a lot of things.