Chapter 12

A.N: Believe it all not this whole fic started on the idea that Chuck and Blair both have inspired my style and influence my fashion choices. Thus, I was flipping through a magazine reading about how Kendall Jenner is Karl Lagerfeld new muse and I was thinking if Chuck and Blair were real people, they would totally be a designer's muse. Then after re-seeing the Blair and Serena photoshoot in Bad News Blair and thought what if it was Chuck and Blair. The fic was born. I know many people may have forgotten or even wondered why I bothered to have Chuck have a conversation with Marc Jacobs all the way back when. But it was for this reason. Chuck is about to become the muse for Marc Jacobs. Random, yes. But hopefully fun I promise.

Check out my new fic LoVEChrome.

Special praise to reviewer SchwarzShifter who asked if I was going to do something with the Marc Jacobs thread. Thank you to all the reviewers who constantly review almost every chapter. I really do look forward reading everyone's comments.

I always find beauty in things that are odd and imperfect - they are much more interesting.- Marc Jacobs

It would not take a genius to know that Eleanor Waldorf's plan to make Serena the face of her new line hurt Blair. In that moment she went from glee at the thought that her mother came to the Ivy Mixer that she planned for weeks to hurt at her mother's ignorance. I could tell by the how her shoulder dropped slightly before she hugged her mother. It was her tell. She usually stood strong shoulders back but when she was hurt, they dropped slightly. Thinking back to what she said to me after my father berated me I felt the need to come to her aid but before could I even think about a comeback they were walking past me to the event probably towards Serena. I watched her for a quarter hour after that. She faked a smile and pretended to be happy as Serena and Eleanor discuss the situation. She slipped away as Eleanor and Serena began a two-sided conversation leaving her out of the loop.

Suddenly I felt bad for my comments over her being a bitch in heat and for making out with Jenny. In my anger at my father, I wanted to distance myself from it all by making out with Jenny. I think deep down I knew hooking up with Jenny would make Blair mad and I did it anyway. I wanted to hurt her the way that she was hurting me with so-called friendship with Nate. Not only did I do that but also I sunk to the level of calling her names. It was Catty like a high school mean girl. The look of her with tears in her eyes haunted me as I drove home in my limo alone. Drinking in the bar in my room, I just thought of eyes and the way they looked when I picked up her chin after we kissed. The tears were caused by the thought that Nate and Serena were sleeping with each other. I lied to protect her feelings and relationship with Nathaniel. It was a decision in the moment and I stood by it. Serena was right they belonged together and were far happier together. My thoughts were interrupted when my phone rang with an unrecognizable number.

"Is this Chuck?" the women on the other end of the line asked. Thinking it was a business partner concerning my proposal I responded in the affirmative.

"Chuck Bass from the party at the Waldorfs' two Wednesday's ago?" she asked to which I responded yes to again. "I am calling from Marc Jacobs's office. He was really impressed with you and told me to tell you that he has not been able to get you out of his head. He thinks you could be his male muse in way that Sofia Coppola is his female muse. He keeps saying you could be and I quote his Madonna to his Gaultier, his Catroux to Laurent, and most importantly his Jacques de Bascher de Beaumarchais to his Lagerfeld. I think I said Beaumarchais right. So what do you say?" she asked. (1)

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I told the women on the phone slightly confused but clearly recognizing all the designers she mentioned and some of the celebrities but I had no clue as to why she was calling me.

"We want you to be the face of the male line for Marc Jacobs," she told me.

I wanted to run to the Waldorf penthouse after my talk with Cheryl, Marc's assistant. After patching me over to Marc who explained his concept and how he wanted a very New York style photoshoot to play an edgy bad boy type with a woman as his moral compass guiding him around the city to find himself. He explained he was inspired by me at the Waldorf event. He wanted to play with the press he was receiving after his recent stint in rehab and according to him; there was no better way than having the New York City's bad boy front and center. I convinced him I would only do the shoot if I could pick my co-model. He was wary but when I told him my idea for Blair Waldorf, he instantly told me yes. From a business standpoint, having the Waldorf daughter in a rival print ad would stick it to Eleanor. He claimed that he saw the chemistry we had that night and hoped it reflected in the photo shoot.

Eager to tell Blair my plan to stick to her mother with the Marc Jacobs shoot I went to her house straight away. It was only when I was in the elevator did I realize that Blair and I might not be the best of friends now. It was also eight o'clock on Friday so she might be out with her girls or doing whatever she did to take over the world. Worse of all she might be here with Nate. I thought back to how quick she pushed me away after the kiss we shared today. The ding of the elevator interrupted my thoughts and I figured I might as well try to convince her to go through with this with me while I was here.

I called at her name into the darkness with no reply. No one appeared to be here. Well thank god Eleanor was not here. I was about to turn around and leave when I heard a shuffle upstairs. Concerned for Blair safety but honestly really to see if she was up there with Nate, I quickly made my way to her landing. When noises of sex, which I knew well, did not reach my ears, I debated walking back downstairs but I called out her name once more to make sure.

"Chuck?" her voice responded. It was weak and hoarse causing me concern. I slowly opened the door to her room and found her sitting on her bed looking dazed wearing black lace lingerie. Usually my eyes would focus in on all the right places but at this moment, I was only focused on her red eyes and her pink stained cheeks from crying. She was still sniffling and I realized I never seen her like this. So small so unblair. I knew she must have thrown up today. I walked closer until I kneeled by her. The guilt cut at me. I knew better than to assume that she relapsed from me especially since her mother did cut into her today but I knew my words could have not helped. She was looking at her hands in her lap unable to meet my glaze. I grabbed her hands and drew circles with my thumbs hoping to calm her down.

"Blair is everything okay?" I was whispering not wanting to cause her alarm. The softness of my voice was even softer than the day in the bathroom at the Kiss at the Lips Party.

With dazed eyes, she looked at me. "I...I... Chuck, I," she was not able to say the words but I already knew and I did not want to force her to say. I sucked in a breath as I felt the punch in my gut at the thought of Blair, my Blair hurting herself. Suddenly, wrecked with guilt at the thought that my comments could have caused this I pulled away my hands from her cold ones. Suddenly my photoshoot idea seemed insensitive and unfair. I began to walk the length of her room trying to think of the right thing to say. I was biting my knuckle when I heard her move. Tasting the saltiness of my skin, I wondered how hard I needed to bite to draw blood. I turned to watch her curl into a ball making herself even smaller against the oversized bed. I knelt down again by the side of the bed bringing my face level with hers.

"Blair I don't know what to say. I want to help. Tell me what to say to help. Please," I begged her. Her face was blank and far away.

"You don't have to say anything Chuck. You can go. Please go," her voice cracked towards the end. I debated leaving and calling Serena or Nate but I decided I could not leave her. I was surer in this moment that she was the women I loved and I vowed to never do anything that would ever make her question her beauty and her worth. I thought of her silly mother, her flake of an ex, and the liar that was her best friend. We were all inadequate to be in her world and I was determined to help her see her that.

"I want to be here," I told her honestly. It was the first true thing I told her all day. I reached out to trace her jawline. She closed her eyes when my hand touched her. "You are so beautiful. Do you even realize how," I began to compliment her until she jumped up and out of bed.

"Are you so vain to think that I need your silly words you Basstard? That they are going to make me suddenly better. That is not how this works. So don't do that! Don't sit here and try to make me feel special or wonderful. Because it just makes me feel sleazy because you Chuck Bass who just fucks everything that moves except- Just don't okay," she yelled at me. Finally, fire danced in her eyes. I stood up and she stood her ground. Wrapping the flimsy robe together against her pale skin and crossing her arms over her chest my mouth grew dry.

"I... I am sorry... I did not mean to offend you but Blair you know how gorgeous I think you are. I mean fuck Blair," I ran my eyes over her body. "Fuck," I whispered out again as I took her in. I saw her visibly shiver.

"Just as gorgeous as any other girl huh?" she asked her anger back in full force.

"Blair. No. Don't you get how different you are? How special!" my voice loud and booming at her suddenly angry that she could not see what I saw.

"Ha!" was all she said as she turned her back to me her eyes still crossed. I still saw a bit of her face through her full body mirror. I studied her, shoulder slumped defeated, which was the same way she looked when her mother told her of Serena being the new model in her line. I quietly stepped forward until I was stepping right behind her. I was not so forward as to touch her but I felt the heat radiating off her body. I could smell her sweet smell of lavender and lilac from her hair. Standing her behind her defeated form I wanted to hold her up and care for her. I wanted to love her. Hell, I did not even know what loving her entailed but I wanted to.

"Blair, you are special. Special to me. You are one of the most important people in my life. I just don't want you to hurt yourself. Please." I needed to touch her. I finally placed my hand on her upper arms siding down to her elbows pulling her closer to me flushed to my body. I hugged her tightly from behind. She fell into my body and she quickly began to cry. She turned her body crying into my chest and I tried to smooth her tears telling her wonderful she was.

When she finally stopped, she pulled away from me and ran into her bathroom locking the door behind her. The water in the bathroom began running and I banged on the door. I terrified she was going to throw up again and the thought made me sick.

"Blair, stop please," I said through the door. She opened it up with a fresh clean face.

"I was just washing my face," she told me her voice quiet and sweet.

"Blair why did you… why do you?" I was afraid to ask the question but my curiosity biting at me.

"I don't know. I started because I wanted control of something in my life and for my figure. Now the condition is controlling me. I'm just weak and… and," she started and I cut her off.

"You are the strongest person I know. So strong Blair," I told her and she gave me her cute sad smile.

"Chuck, why did," she twisted around nervously. "Why do you keep kissing me and then walking away from it… from me?"

"Blair," was all I was able to say until I walked away from her. Was this the moment that I would tell her the truth? The truth that I did not want to even admit to myself? Is this what she wanted? I thought back to the way she looked at me when she asked if Nate and Serena were still screwing around. The tears in her eyes. Then there was the issue of Nate who everyday was telling me that he was in love with her. I turned towards her again. Her hands were clenched in front her and grabbed them pulling them to my lips. Kissing them gently "you should know how much I want you. And how much I would have loved to take you in my suite, on the floor while dancing with you, yesterday, today, tomorrow, and especially in the back of my limo. But Nate, Nate is my best friend. Right now, I am trying to determine if this is worth ending that relationship because I don't think he would forgive me for sleeping with you. He thinks I am going to hurt you and he is probably right. You don't want me to be your first. I know in the moment you may want to but you are going to regret it. Trust me I am not worth it," I confessed to her giving her hands a kiss one more time before dropping them.

"I won't regret it. It would only be one time. One time and he won't have to know," while bouncing on her toes kissing me on my chin. Her innocence and sweetness on high display and I knew Nate was right I would steal that lightness. She only wanted one night and I feared that would not be enough. It might never be enough. If she only wanted one night then I would not ruin my friendship with Nate not right now not when he needed me.

"Please. I am trying to be a good friend so try not to be so appealing right now," I told her with a light smile stepping away from her but meaning every word. She finally smiled and I felt pleased. Her smile was breaking my resolve and I thought of stealing one more kiss.

"Chuck. Is that really why?" she bite her lip and I had to look away.

"Yes. God yes. Please let me think about this and try to tone down the flirting. You are killing me," I confessed. She smiled but then she scowled.

"So not like a bitch in heat?" she asked and suddenly my guilt for those words came back to me.

"I was angry when I said that at my father and at you. You've made me crazy this week, Blair. Truce for rest of the night?" She smirked at me pleased at her power.

"Truce...How crazy?" she asked her flirty smile back.

"Very. But right now I am here to support you as a friend… If we do this …when we do this then I need to make sure that we are both in the right state of mind before you know. I don't want your relapse to be a deciding factor in something like this," I told her gesturing between the both of at the word 'this'. I barely believed the words coming out of my mouth but I was determined to think before I fucked this time around.

"Seriously, when did you get a heart," she told me but this time there was a smile on her face. I wanted to roll my eyes at her irony. I just smirked at her and she rolled her eyes. "One night, Chuck" she sang and I repeated back to myself in my head. No, one night would never sustain me. Right now, right here I knew one night would only destroy me. I loved her and I needed this to be right. I needed to show her that I could do more than one night. I could be more than a one night stand and that meant not taking advantage of her in a weaken mindset. Suddenly we were both staring at each other our eye contact intense. I hoped that she could see beyond the mask of the boy that I was to the man that I would be with her for her. Maybe today I could be the good guy. The one they write movies and poems about, the one Audrey gets in her films, the one that Blair deserves but I knew I could never truly be, not for long at least.

"I came here to tell you something and I haven't even mentioned it," he said as he broke the eye contact that we had. I told him to tell me. "Not yet. Did you eat dinner?" he asked. I cringed instantly. I did have some food at the event but that was out of my system. "I am not here to force you to eat anything I promise. Honestly I was just wondering if you were hungry cause I was," he covered even though I was sure he was lying I appreciated the effort.

"There should be food in the kitchen," I informed him. I was more than surprise that he grabbed my hand on the way of the room. I was unsure whether he did it to hold my hand or to drag me to eat something. Regardless I let him lead me to the kitchen. His scent assaulted me in the most vicious way. Suddenly the manly scent I associated with him that made my knees weak made my heart beat jump. I needed to pull myself together.

"There are lamb chops over a bed of lentils in the fridge I think," I told him as I separated from hind once we were in the bright area of the kitchen. Being close to him in a dark room or limo while drunk is one thing but in the bright white shinny kitchen would force to me to confront the game we are playing. He went over to the well organize fridge that Dorota kept with two plates that he filled up. I idly tapped the marble counter as I made small talk about Nate and his family.

"Nate wants to get back with you, Blair. Are you sure you are over him?" Chuck finally asked as he placed the plates in the microwave.

"Are you asking for you or for him?" I teased with a smirk. He chuckled causing me to smile brightly. Chuck hardly ever laughed and in the moments that he did I was always happy to be the one to do so.

"Okay fine back to the truce. Let's talk about something else," he suggested.

"Like why you came here?" I asked with what I was hoping was a cute smile. He wanted over and joined me at the island siding a plate over in front of me. I raised an eyebrow with a pout as he handed me the fork.

"Take a few bites and I will tell you why I came," he bartered. My curiosity of course got the best of me but I made sure to roll my eyes when I did. Honestly, I was happy that he cared enough to come and sit with me through this. Even my sluggish mood and depression from earlier seemed to be diminishing. Chuck would be the one who could make me smile only moments after my relapse. Not only make me smile but also made me feel wanted and sexy. The way he looked at me when we were alone usually made me filled with want for him. Knowing now that he wanted me only filled me with more courage. Therefore, I took a few bites of the lentils. I needed to know why he came.

"Tell me," I told him. Three bites should be enough.

"Champagne. It is something to celebrate," he said as he stood up again but gestured to my plate again. He wanted me to take another bite. Usually, when my mother, Nate, or Serena grilled me over my food, it was annoying and I felt like a sideshow. Chuck made it feel more like a playful gesture and did not stare at me as I ate.

"There is a chilled 1990 Dom in the wine fridge. Now I am getting excited. You know I only drink it for special occasions," I told him (2).

"Seeing you in that black lace is reason enough for me," his voice was thick with want and I looked down with a grin afraid to meet his eyes. The truce would not last if I did.

"Chuck," I said playfully shaking my head. I took another bite and ignored him as he pulled out the Dom.

"I did not know the truce meant that I can't flirt with you. I just thought it meant that I cannot grab you and kiss you again," he teased and I rolled my eyes at him.

"I guess its true you do flirt with everything that moves. I think I even seen you charm Headmaster Keller."

"It almost always works too." I watched as he popped the bottle with ease.

"Tell me," I told him as he passed me a glass of Dom. He smiled at me but only filled a bucket of ice. After a long moment he finally spoke.

"Marc Jacobs called me. He wants me to be the face of a New York City-centric line and I picked you to be my co-model," he said as he raised his glass in the air for me to cling with him. But I instead I stood mouth agape and paced the glass the marble.

"Chuck are you serious I cannot do that. I am not the model type that is the reason why my mother picked Serena to model her line. Besides Jacob is my mother's rival. She would kill me," I tried to explain. Even still, I could help but feel my heartbeat speed up as I imagine myself in a spread in Vogue or around ads in the city.

"You are always wearing Marc Jacobs. It makes perfect sense. Not to mention I am not the model height so I could not stand not to a taller model type with high heels. You make perfect sense. Plus this is the perfect way to stick it to your mother for choosing Serena over you," he spoke forcefully and strongly. Walking back around the island he was once again by my side taking a seat.

"I don't know Chuck. Plus I am not sure I would be comfortable around all those cameras especially right now with all of this happening," I tried to make him see reason and I wondered what would have said about the photoshoot.

"I would be right next to you. You are so beautiful and will look amazing I know it. Come on you are comfortable around me no?" Chuck asked with a sly wink.

"What day?" I asked even though I was still unsure.

"Thursday. Take the day off school and the whole day. They are already booking locations around the city. But I won't do this with anyone but you," he was using his honest eyes on me.

I grabbed the champagne glass and rose it up for him to clink with me. "Okay, okay," I laughed along with him as we came to our agreement.

We ate and drank while we talked which eventually moved into laughter. No one quite understood me in the way that Chuck Bass did. He made me feel normal and safe. Hours after my episode he took me from feeling depressed and insecure to the feeling like the most wonderful person alive. I always had his full-undivided attention his eyes never off me. His phone ringing and beeping but he never cared about anything but me. I knew I was reading him right now and I knew he wanted me. I wanted him but the truce was in order. So we sipped on our champagne and pretend to both not feel the sexual tension that was in the room. An hour or so later the tension was growing. I was shivering more from the look in his eyes then the fact that I was only wearing a flimsy lingerie. With each passing moment, I suddenly felt more and more naked. His eyes roamed over me from time to time before he righted himself and would look at my face. But the moments that his eyes drifted away were growing and I knew it was getting hard for him to ignore it as we finished the bottle together. I knew I was much tipsier than he was. His tolerance for alcohol was too high for him to get drunk off half a bottle of champagne but eyes were darkening and his drunken gaze that I knew well was appearing. Tossing my hair naturally back over my shoulder exposing my neck he stopped mid-sentence and hissed. My eyebrows raised in response. But we were both silent and the tension reached a boiling point. He slowly got up off the stool standing next to me and I had to look up at him. He reached over to the bucket of ice with the empty bottle of Dom and plucked an ice cube from it. My breath hitched as he used the two fingers to guide the ice over my neck and I tilted to give him more access as he rolled it down stopping before the valley of my breast. Picking it up and popping it into his mouth before licking his lips. Squeezing my lips together I watched his every move.

"Delicious," he said as he tasted the ice that he rolled over my skin. I took a deep breath realizing I was holding it. The coldness of the ice and the heat of the moment made my skin burn as my nipples tighten. He glanced down alerting my attention to my breast before he backed up and I watched him gulped down whatever remained of the ice cube. He turned and left without another word. Only the trail of water that dipped into the valley of my breast down to my bellybutton. I was left sitting full on food but feeling empty in a completely different way. I groaned aloud as I throw my hand down on the counter. Basswhole. I knew that despite whatever agreement we made today the next day we were alone we were going to go at it. Even if I had to tie him, down and gag him. Reaching over I picked up an ice cube and sucked on it hoping to cool down.

1 List of famous designers and the muses that have inspired them. Sofia Coppola is truly Marc's most famous muse. She is a screenwriter, director, actor, and producer. Her father is the director of the Godfather trilogy. Since 2002, she has been a various number of shots for different aspects of his work. They are very good friends with her appearing in campaigns and him designing some of the most important dresses in her life. A great article in Harper's titled "Marc and Sofia: the Dreamy Team" calls them one of 'fashion great platonic love stories'. The idea of a person inspiring art is just so romantic and creative.

2 Dom Perignon is a vintage champagne and the company only produce years with yield the highest quality grapes. They are released after they mature. There are three different peaks of maturities when it comes to Dom: First Peak (7 years) Second Peak (15-20 years) Third Peak (25 years). Certain years are considered better than others are. Today a 1990 Bottle retails around or above the 225-dollar range.

A.N: Not a lot of action just setting the stage for the next chapter. I am sure that many people wanted Blair to be angry about the Jenny thing but I do not think she would have been extremely angry about this happening at this point in the Jenny-Blair dynamic. Blair's feelings for Chuck may be growing but Blair is denier. My Jenny wants to use Chuck for his power because she aware that he is Blair's most important ally. Of course, Blair believes that Jenny poses little threat at this point rather than annoyance. Chuck is much more mature than here than in the show but my excuse for that is I believe that his acknowledgment of his love/need to protect her is overly controlling his lust.

We really have reached a boiling point. Next chapter will have the moment everyone has been waiting for, finally yes. The episode Dare Devil will be replaced and rather the Lost Weekend is going to be a Lost Weekend for both the girls and the guys separate of course. Therefore, Blair and Serena will have their best friend moment and Nate and Chuck are going to clear the air.

Special Note: I thought it would be fun for the Lost Weekend to be companion fics and be in other character's POV's. Thus the lost weekend will truly be lost from the POV's of our main characters. It will allow me the time to clear up some of the other story lines and I make certain things clear. So there will be a companion fic to this fic. The lost weekend chapters may or not be posted in linear time thus in this fic we might move past that but the events of the lost weekend will affect the timeline of this fic. So look out for that soon.