NOTE: Changes in POV seperated by horizontal line up ahead
You feel cold. You're surrounded by darkness and you can't see anything past yourself. It's like you are trapped in a void, neither here nor there, just floating. You're not afraid. In fact all you feel right now is numb, like all the life has been sucked out of you, leaving you an empty husk. You can't remember how you got here, wherever 'here' even is.
You reach a hand to your chest and leave it there for a moment. Your heart, it's still beating. You're somewhat surprised at that. You wonder if you're actually dead and this is what's after. Nothingness.
"Hello there, dear sister." You turn in the direction the voice is coming from, startled. At first you don't see anyone, or anything, just darkness, just like before. But then something flickers. Like a tiny light, glowing a warm red. You make your way over to it and a face begins to form.
He hasn't aged a day since you last saw that face. He's still your little brother. But something seems different, twisted.
"Chara…" Your voice sounds strange in your ears after being in silence for so long. "What happened…? Where are we? Am I dead?" He smiles at you wickedly and you feel uneasy.
"Not yet." Yet?
He inches towards you and you step away. "What's wrong?"
"You're not letting me take over." You're confused. You don't know what's going on and you want answers.
"What? Chara, I heard you call, I came for you." You say recalling some of the events previous to your current situation. "What happened?" You ask again, this time more demanding.
"I tried to take over your mangled body. But after we passed out from the blood loss I haven't been able to take control again." He grabs your wrists. "What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything. Stop that!" You push him away. Chara looks angry. "You're not making any sense! None of this is making any sense!" You hold your head in your hands.
"Well let me make it clear, you're not needed. So just die already." His words cut through you like a knife.
"Why…" It's all you can say.
"Because I want everyone to die! I want everyone to suffer! YOU MOST OF ALL!" His voice comes out like a low growl. Almost animalistic.
"What are you talking about? I love you Chara! You're my brother!"
"Well I hate you!" It's like he's kicking you in the guts. Every harsh revelation crushing you further, tearing you apart. "I hate everyone. I hate everything. I want the whole world to BURN!"
"I thought you were happy… With Toriel and Asgore…"
"I thought so too. Until I realised you were still alive and that made me so mad. Our father never loved me, he gave everything to you! WHEN I WAS THE ONE WHO BROUGHT HIM WHAT HE ALWAYS WANTED HE STILL CHOSE YOU!" His eyes are wild, burning with rage and hatred, all directed at you. And you can't handle it. You knew he was disturbed, but it never once occurred to you how much, and most of all, that it was all your fault…
"Chara, please…" You beg him. "Let me help you… I'll do anything to make you happy, just let me." A sadistic smirk spreads on his face and he reminds you so much of your father it's breaking you.
"I wanted to kill everyone you care about as you watched your own hands do the deed, starting with that useless bag of bones… But you won't let me. Do that and I'll be overjoyed." Tears start rolling down your cheeks as you listen to him voicing his horrible thoughts. You can't let that happen. You won't let Chara destroy everything you've come to love over the last few days.
If what he says is true, and you're both trapped in your subconscious, you won't let him escape. Even if that means you'll never see the light of day again or any of the friends you made recently. Even if it means you'll never get to feel Sans' touch on your skin, see his face or hear his voice ever again…
"You leave me no choice then." You step towards Chara and his hate filled aura, the magic inside you whirling all around.
"What are you doing?" He hisses trying to get away, sneering at you. "Stop. Don't come any closer!"
It's been days. Or maybe it was just a few long hours. Whatever it was, it felt like an eternity to Sans. He can't remember the last time he slept.
When he came to, his first instinct was to look for you, expecting a gruesome scene of your body covered in dust as Chara used you to kill everyone he cared about. But instead he found Toriel leaning over you, unmoving on a bed. His first thought was that he was too late. That you died because he didn't get you to Tori fast enough. But that wasn't it. She healed you, there was nothing physically wrong with you but you just wouldn't wake up.
Since then, he never left your side. He could see your soul dimming, darkness swirling around it. He watched as Chara smothered it, snuffing out your light. And he couldn't do anything about it. At one point he found himself wishing for a reset, he nearly laughed at the thought. Something he dreaded so much now seemed like the only solution to your condition. Just one last time, go back to Snowdin, so that he could help Frisk through the Underground, break the barrier. He couldn't erase what was done to you, but he could prevent what came after. He could come to your rescue, kill that wretched man before he had the chance to lay his filthy hands on you ever again. He could keep you safe, make you happy. Give you everything you deserved.
Eventually, he even begged Frisk, bent down on hands and knees. "Please kid, you gotta reset, just one last time so I can save her! I won't be mad, I promise! Please Frisk, I'm begging you!"
But Frisk refused. They said that they couldn't do it. Not anymore.
So Sans was left to just sit by you. Watching you fade away. Unable to do anything to stop it.
"Why won't you wake up? Why won't you fight him? Don't you want to live anymore? Don't you care… about me?" The last part is nothing but a whisper. He holds your hand tightly. It's cold. Like all the warmth inside your soul is getting stolen by that demon. His eyes well up and he lays his head over your chest, sobbing silently.
You're huddled in a corner of your mind, keeping Chara inside a permanent loop of swirling magic, making him unable to move but still very talkative, unfortunately.
"Why don't you just kill me? You can destroy me in the blink of an eye and yet you're just keeping me hostage."
"I'm not like you, or him."
"You mean our father?" You ignore his question.
"I won't kill you, but I won't let you hurt anyone."
"Too late for that I'm afraid." Your head snaps to him.
"What did you say?"
"Well, I already killed everyone a few times." Your heart sinks. No, he can't have. They can't be dead. "Never quite got that annoying skeleton you seem to like so much though, he was always dodging my attacks." Sans… "And then Frisk kept resetting, hoping that would help." You're confused now, unsure if what he's saying is even true anymore, it all sounds so surreal. "The stupid idiot was always crying, begging me to stop hurting everyone."
"Resetting?" He laughs at your ignorance.
"Oh, you didn't know? Your little bony friend lived through countless timelines where I killed his precious brother and everyone else he cared about. In the last reset him and Frisk managed to get me out somehow, threw me into a dark corner of the Underground. But I had my fun. My favourite was always Toriel…" He drifts off, a vicious smirk taking over his face. "The look on her face when I slashed through it…"
"SHUT UP!" You cover your ears, trying to block out his voice, trying to ignore the images popping into your head as if it were your eyes that were seeing it, as if you lived through it through his soul. The look of utter betrayal and pain on Toriel's loving face… "Y… you… really hate me that much?" The hope in Papyrus' eyes as he turned to dust still believing in Chara's goodness… "ST… STILL! I BELIEVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER!" The smile on Undyne's face as she disintegrated… "This world will live on…!" And the hopelessness in Sans' face as he stood alone killing Frisk over, and over, and over again… The pain he was in… The despair he emanated… "Hmm. That expression… That's the expression of someone who's died twice in a row."
"thrice in a row."
"ten times in a row."
"Let's just get to the point." You feel your sins crawling on your back.
"Make it stop… Please make it stop…"
You feel hands on your face and you realise you let your guard down and now Chara's out again, and you're vulnerable. His grin is nothing short of unsettling. "I'll make it much, much worse!"
You feel his resentment surround you, all his pain, all his anger, and most of all his hate suffocate you. You can't move and everything hurts down to your very soul. It's relentless and overwhelming, it's making you want to die. But that's what Chara wants and you won't give him the satisfaction. You can't let him win or he'll use you to hurt everyone. Just like your father wanted to. It's ironic really. He thinks he wasn't loved by him but they're so alike it's almost uncanny.
You should fight him. You should end him once and for all. But you don't want to. Despite everything he's still your brother, and you still want to help him. He's just lost, you try telling yourself. He just needs some guidance.
But as the pain gets greater your determination grows weaker. You curl into yourself trying to keep from falling apart, but it's so hard…
"Chara please, this isn't you. You can be good if you just try."
"You sound just like Papyrus!" Chara kicks you in the stomach. "Fight! Don't just stand there and take it!" He keeps kicking. "WHY WON'T YOU DO ANYTHING?" Kick. "STOP." Kick. "BEING." Kick. "SO." Kick. "USELESS."
You feel yourself growing weaker and weaker still. He's ruthless. Just like Sans said.
Sans feels you move. Immediately he stands up, wiping at his eye sockets. He's hoping he'll see you, but he's ready to find Chara instead. As you sit up, eyes finally opening for the first time in ages, that characteristic red glow is hard to ignore. He feels his spirits come crashing down.
"Don't move!"
"Or what? You're going to hurt her?" The skeleton stays silent. "Yeah, didn't think so." He inspects your hands with your eyes. He uses your voice and your lips to speak, your legs and arms to get out of the bed. "She's squirming in here. I gave her quite the beating." Your lips smile but it's Chara through and through. Your arm extends towards Sans as he tries to use your magic to blast him dead. But nothing happens. The grin falls from your face. "Why isn't it working?"
"Her soul's the one with the power, not yours. You've just got remnants." Your body starts shaking from his anger.
"Fine, I'll do it the old fashioned way." Chara pushes past Sans running through the house.
His eye flashes blue as he holds your body up in the air. "Not so fast!"
"Sans! What are you doing to that poor child?" Toriel's voice rings through the halls the shock in it evident.
"Tori, I can explain."
"Oh, hi mum!" The giggle that escapes your lips is so unnatural it sends a shiver down Sans' spine which coupled with Toriel's sudden appearance causes him to lose his grip on you. Falling back to your feet Chara flashes an evil grin.
"M-my child, you shouldn't be up…"
"Neither should you be alive." The voice coming from your lips is low. "But who am I to say anything? I died ages ago." And with a high pitched cackle he's back to running away.
"You son of a bitch, get back here!"
"Sans, language!"
"NOT THE TIME TORI!" He yells annoyed, running after him.
He catches Chara in the kitchen, digging through the drawers where he finds a rather large butcher's knife. "Perfect." He turns with that creepy grin on your face and every fibre in Sans' being is telling him to shove a bone through your heart but he looks at you and that's all he sees. Your beautiful eyes, your kind heart, and your tender nature. Not the freakish sight that's actually standing in front of him.
It's Frisk all over again, but a thousand times worse. Because if he kills you, that's it, you're gone forever, and he'll never forgive himself. And not only that, he can't even think about hurting you without an unbelievable pain shooting through his soul.
"Sans, tell me right this instant what in heavens is going on!" Toriel demands from behind the small skeleton whose left eye is still ablaze.
"Mother! So nice of you to show up to the skeleton's execution!" A sick laugh rattles through your body as Chara advances, knife raised high, ready to strike. The motherly monster just stands there, mouth agape, eyes filled with a mix of sorrow and hurt as it finally dawns on her who's actually in control of you.
Sans can't bring himself to do anything. He falls to his knees and just waits for your hands to do Chara's killing. He can't hurt you. He won't hurt you. And if that means he'll have to die, so be it.
He closes his eyes when you're standing right in front of him, but as your arm comes down it stops right before the tip of the knife reaches his skull.
"No." He hears you mutter. "No! NO! LET GO! STOP IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" And your body breaks down on the floor.
With all the strength you can muster you get to your knees. You'd be bloody all over if this wasn't all happening in this strange plane that is the inside of your being. You take Chara in your arms and hug him tight to your chest, he's thrashing, kicking and punching, demanding you let him go. You feel the rage emanating from his soul, you feel his heartbreak, his jealousy, his revolt and his sins. It envelops you like a blanket of darkness that makes it hard to breathe but you don't let go.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you feel this way. I wish I could make you feel better. I wish I could go back and take you away so that you could be happy. I'm so sorry Chara."
"NO! LET ME GO! I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY OR YOUR KINDNESS! I WANT YOUR SUFFERING! I WANT YOU TO WATCH AS I KILL EVERYONE YOU LOVE!"
You shut your eyes tightly trying to prevent the tears from falling but fail miserably when a heaving sob shakes your whole body. But it's not you who's sobbing. It's Chara. He's letting out all his pent up emotions, his broken soul mirroring your own. You hold him tight as he cries into your chest, stroking his hair softly as he continues hitting you through his tears, feeling your own cheeks stained.
You know that you can't fix him. You know that you can't make him happy. But you still love him, and so you hold onto him as hard as you can as he falls apart in your arms, his soul breaking as it finally lets go.
You're left holding onto yourself as his soul shatters, and him with it, crying into the nothingness. The grief surrounds your soul and you feel so lost. This is all your fault. You're the reason he was like this. You're the reason he died. You deserve to die too.
The darkness is closing in around you, and you let it.
You're completely unresponsive. As soon as he heard the 'thud' of your body hitting the floor Sans leaned over you, holding your face in between his bony hands. Your eyes are closed and your mouth slightly open, he sees your chest isn't moving and he doesn't feel your heartbeat.
Toriel snaps out of her shocked trance and joins the small skeleton on the floor, enveloping you with her healing magic, but it doesn't seem to be doing anything. As he looks at your soul he sees it fading out, little by little. Sans puts his arms around your lifeless body and pulls you to his chest, light blue tears forming at the corners of his eye sockets.
"No, you can't leave… I never got to tell you… Please… Don't go…" He weeps, squeezing you tight, holding you close. "I'm so sorry…"
NOTE: Thank you so much for reading, feel free to leave any reviews as always