NOTE: Turns out it's not over yet! Updates might be a little more spaced out though cause I need to figure out where this is going next, I really only planned until last chapter but didn't want Star to die lol Also I'll be starting my second semester in uni next week so that's going to make things a little more difficult, but with all that out of the way, enjoy :)
Just as the void is sucking the last breath out of you, you feel something else surround you. A tender warmth squeezing you tightly and when you open your eyes all you see is a familiar blue glow swirling all around. It all concentrates in a bright indigo light above you, almost like a star… Without a moment's hesitation, you instinctively reach for it.
Ba-dum. Sans' eyes shoot open. Was that really… Ba-dum. Yes it was. He feels your heart come to life, beating steadily against his chest. He looks at your face and sees a single tear streaming down your cheek and your eyes flutter.
The first thing you see is the skeleton's wet and tired eyes and you weakly reach for his face, stroking it gently, wiping at the blue beads rolling down it, a small sad smile forming on your lips. "Hey…" His eye sockets were wide. He looked at a complete loss for words. Before you know it you're being held so tight that you're struggling to breathe, but you don't complain, you just wrap your arms around him and enjoy it. You feel Toriel's paw on your back, rubbing comforting circles on it.
"Sans, you're crushing our friend here…" She smiles softly.
"I don't care." He says. "I'm never letting go." You chuckle at how childlike he sounds then and rest your head on his shoulder. Your body trembles and you realise that you're crying. Putting a hand in front of your mouth you try to stifle the sobs that are ravaging through you. "I'm here Star, let it all out, everything's going to be alright." Sans' words ring in your ears.
"He's gone…" You manage to let out in between sniffles. "He fell apart right in my arms… He's gone Sans… I couldn't save him…"
"He was beyond saving." The sudden coldness in his voice only makes you bawl harder and he immediately regrets it. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."
"I'll give you two some space…" Toriel moves to leave but you grab her sleeve and look at her with tear-filled eyes.
"I'm sorry." She just smiles at you and gets out of the room, but you could see her eyes watering as she left and the weight in your soul feels heavier. "It was my fault. He hated me so much Sans… He was right to. It was all my fault."
"That's not true Star. I swear to you it's not your fault, so don't say that, don't even think it. You did everything you could with what you had. Hush now… It'll be fine…" You feel his fingers run through your hair.
"You don't understand. If it wasn't for me he would've been happy with Toriel and Asgore and Asriel in the Underground. He would've lived the life he deserved." The guilt you feel is unbearable.
"And what about you?" The crack in Sans' voice makes your heart split.
"I don't deserve to be here. I've caused nothing but pain." Your voice is nothing but a whisper.
"You made me happy. That has to count for something." You sniffle into his jacket. "Chara's the one who's shown no mercy for anyone."
Your thoughts go back to the visions Chara showed you and the tears just keep spilling out. "Why didn't you tell me? About the timelines. About what Chara did to you, to everyone?"
You feel him cringe in your embrace. "I didn't want you to worry about me. It's all in the past. Well technically it never really happened."
"He showed me everything. It was like I was there. Like… I was the one doing it… The look on your face, Sans it was heart-breaking. I don't think I'll ever forget it…" Your body convulses with violent sobs as you cry into his shoulder. His grip on you tightens.
"They weren't all bad… Frisk was a nice kid, they made friends with everyone a bunch of times. They made everyone happy. Got us to the surface. Got me to you…" Despite the unbearable despair you feel a smile tugs at the corners of your lips.
After a few minutes your sobbing dies down. Every once in a while you still shake in Sans' arms.
"Don't scare me like that again Star… I thought you were dead…" Sans' voice is muffled as he buries his face in your chest. "You were gone for so long… And I couldn't do anything. I felt so… Useless."
"You saved me." You sniffle.
"I only did what I had to. That man didn't deserve to live anyway after what he did to you." So your father met his end that night after all… You can't find it in you to feel anything about it right now.
"No… Sans, after I saw Chara's soul shatter out of existence I was so overcome with grief and guilt I was right about ready to give up. But you didn't let me. Your light guided me out. You saved me." He finally pulls back from you to stare at your tear-stained face, astonished. You look at his chest and see a blue light shining through his shirt. You smile slightly. "It looked just like that." You say pointing.
The skeleton quickly covers his chest with his hands, suddenly embarrassed. "Oh, sorry, I…"
"Why are you apologising?" You ask, honestly quite confused.
"I think my soul's reaching out to yours…" You take his hands in yours and stare at the warm glow.
"What does that mean?" You inch closer.
"I…" His face is sporting a bright cerulean tinge, his eyes lidded. There's a warmth in your chest, making you lean forward, heat rising to your cheeks. You want to reach out to him too… You're vulnerable and you want to be comforted. You want him to comfort you.
Sans finally closes the gap between you, his teeth pressing to your lips and your whole body feels like it's going to explode with emotion as his soul entangles with yours. It's a strange feeling, but a good one. A really good one. You pull your arms up to his skull, pulling him closer, deepening your kiss. His own hands are clinging to your sides desperately, in an attempt to keep himself grounded as he loses himself in you and you in him. It's like all his emotions are washing over you in a wave and you feel lightheaded. He's concerned and weary. But he's also excited, relieved to see you, happy you're here, with him. You feel wanted… needed… loved… And for now, nothing else matters.
Reluctantly, you pull away from each other in dire need for breath. Sans' fingers wipe any remaining tears from your eyes as he gazes into them, a goofy grin plastered on his face that you're almost entirely certain you're mirroring.
"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that…" He murmurs. "And after what happened, after thinking I'd lost you forever…" Sans trails off, not wanting to darken the mood.
He stands up and you try to follow him, only to have your legs wobble and cave. Skeletal arms scoop you up. You notice that you're completely and utterly drained as you lay your head on him, your eyelids heavy, struggling to keep them from closing. You don't want to fall asleep. Sans smiles softly at you. "You look bone tired."
"No, I do not." But your body wouldn't have it and as if to prove him right you let out a drawn out yawn. That cyan hue dusted his cheekbones once more.
"That's really cute…" You feel your ears burn hot as blood rises to your face.
"Shut up." You pull his furry hood over his head in an act of defiance which only makes him laugh.
The small skeleton nuzzles his face in your neck, the hood covering both your heads. "I'm so happy right now." You take this opportunity to place a hand on his skull, pulling it so that you can gently rest your lips on his mouth once again, relishing the flutters in your stomach. You've been wanting to do that too, you just didn't know it then…
You hear a gasp and your heads snap in that direction. There you see Frisk jumping up and down and flailing their arms about with a huge ear to ear grin. They run up to you and throw their arms around the both of you in a hug.
"Ah kid, come on, you're ruining the moment…" Sans says with a chuckle, ruffling their hair.
Stepping back they lift their hands and sign some things. You don't know what they're saying as you've never really learned or seen sign language before so you just stare.
"Kid's saying they're glad you're okay. Got 'em worried there for a sec. Heh, sorry, that's probably my fault… Didn't mean to scare you, Frisk, I was just having a bad time." They nod, smiling yet again, this time with an understanding expression that seems very mature for their age. But all that is lost when they do a kissy face and wink at you. You can't help but giggle, blushing slightly as they skip towards a slightly happier looking Toriel. You feel a pang of remorse as you see her, swearing that you'll try to make her happy and make up for Chara's mistakes.
"My child, you're welcome to stay as long as you need as is Sans of course. I've told everyone you're awake and everything's fine, so you don't need to worry about Papyrus."
Another yawn escapes your mouth despite your efforts to fight it back. "I think it's time you get some real rest." And with that Sans pulls your legs off the floor and carries you to a bedroom where he sets you down on the bed, pulling the covers over you. He looks to the door hesitantly, unwilling to leave you. You don't want to be alone either, and you want him near you. You grab the sleeve of his jacket.
"Could you stay with me, please?" You request quietly.
"I'd love to." You shift to the side, giving him space to climb in with you. His bony arms wrap around your waist and hold you close. You feel the pull of his soul on yours and it's a comforting sensation. His hand is resting on your cheek, his thumb stroking your lips softly.
"I'm sorry." You stare into his eyes.
"For what?"
"Everything I've put you through."
"Shh, it's okay…" Your eyelids start sliding closed. "Sleep my Star…" You think you hear something else but you're already drifting off into the darkness of slumber.
As your conscious mind shuts down, everything you've experienced comes back up to haunt you.
You look down at your hands and find them covered in blood, gushing from the open wound in your chest. You see your soul shining through, battered and broken. Just like you. When you look back up you see Chara standing there. His eyes are red, like yours. He's smiling sweetly, his hands behind his back. He runs over to you and wraps his arms around you and you would've smiled too if it weren't for the sharp pain you felt as he shoved a knife into your back. "You did this to me. You made me what I am." Looking around you see dust everywhere. Chara's been replaced by Sans, his left eye is flaming blue with his magic. "That's your fault isn't it?" Your fault. It's your fault.
You sit up on the bed covered in sweat, tears streaming down your cheeks, breathing heavily. Before you even have time to process that it was just a dream Sans is already holding you. In your chest you feel that same pain you've become so used to and you tremble. "It's okay, it was just a nightmare."
"You blame me." His voice is ringing in your head. "You blame me for Chara."
"What? No." You're shaking your head, it was all too real.
"I heard you. I saw you." You feel so disoriented.
"Look at me." Sans holds your face so that you're looking in his eyes. "You were dreaming. I don't blame you for anything." Resting his forehead on yours he exhales sharply. "You're okay now."
"I need… I need to use the bathroom." You stutter slightly. Still breathing in pants. He nods and helps you up. Your legs still don't seem to be cooperating very well but after a few steps, aside from a little wobbling, you can stand by yourself long enough to not have to be escorted in.
After you're done you look at yourself in the mirror. You look positively ghastly. Your eyes look red and puffy, with deep dark circles underneath, your hair is in complete disarray. With a grimace you splash some cold water on your face hoping that'll help. It doesn't… You notice that the clothes you're wearing aren't the ones that Sans gave you for the first time since you woke up from Chara's takeover. The thought of who put them on you crosses your mind but you can't focus on anything right now. You sigh heavily and rest your head on your hands over the sink. You feel utterly disgusted with yourself.
"Sans…" You call out with a croak. He pokes his head inside before making his way over to you, rubbing your back. "I don't feel very good." You admit.
"I know. Come here." He puts an arm over your waist and your own over his shoulder. You lean into him for support and half walk, half drag your feet over to the kitchen with him.
The small skeleton sits you down on a chair and pours you a glass of water which you take gratefully chugging it down in one go when you realise how parched your throat feels. You lay your head down on the cool table.
You hear a soft clank and take a peek from under your hair to see a plate set in front of you. You lift your head after groaning from the effort it took and see that it's a slice of Toriel's pie. "Thought you might be hungry too." You are famished. But at the same time you don't really feel like eating. You push the plate away. He raises his brow at you and puts a hand to your forehead. "Someone who refuses Tori's pie must be sick."
"I don't deserve it." You find yourself saying. Sans frowns.
"Don't say that. You deserve everything the world has to offer and more." He picks up the fork and nicks a tiny piece off the slice. Dangling it in front of your face he smiles at you. You huff but lean forward opening your mouth slightly. Slowly he pulls the fork away from you. You stop to glare at him and he just grins. You go for it again and he pulls it further chuckling. "Sorry, I'll be good now. Promise." He crosses his heart (if he had one). As you go to close your mouth around the fork, Sans quickly replaces it with his own, earning himself a chaste, surprised, kiss from you. "Couldn't resist…" You smack him lightly on the shoulder but can't help the smile that crawls to your lips.
"You promised." He shrugs offering you the pie once again. This time you bite down on the fork before he can do anything.
"I like seeing you smile better than I do keeping promises." Shoving a piece into his own mouth, he flashes you a lopsided grin.
You rub the back of your neck nervously. "There's something I want to ask you…" You glance over at the skeleton and he nods, gesturing for you to continue. "What did you do with my father's body?" His expression seems to fall.
"Left it to rot pretty much…" Your eyes widen as your mind wanders to the worst possible scenarios and you start rambling.
"What if someone finds it? You could be in trouble. You could get accused of murder. Oh god, what if they take you away? I don't know what I'd do. This is all my fault. You did it to protect me and now-"
"Hey, hey!" He grabs your arms and looks into your eyes. "Calm down. Breathe." You stare at him with your mouth hanging open and take a deep breath. "Place was pretty much a ghost town and no one's come looking yet. But you're right, this could be a problem, I'll take care of it. Don't worry okay?"
"I'll help you. After all if it weren't for me this wouldn't even be an issue." From Sans' appearance you can tell that he doesn't want to agree to this. "Besides…" You look down at your feet, a deep rooted sadness resurfacing. "I need to see it."
"Fine… But first you have to eat this. And you need to get some sleep." You sink into the chair biting at your bottom lip.
"I don't want to go back to those dreams."
Sans intertwines his fingers with yours and gets one more bit of pie on the fork before pointing it at you once again. "Don't worry, I'll be there for you when you wake up."
NOTE: Thank you for reading and feel free to leave feedback