(A/N: This chapter is a f**king two-thousand-and-some word conversation. But what else would you expect, when dredging the raging cesspool of mental and psychological neurosis that is Envy?)

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"Aren't they paying you enough to buy furniture?" Envy asked as it sat cross-legged on the floor, a mug of tea steaming in front of it.

"I keep putting it off. You're essentially the only guest I have."

Envy made no response, looking anywhere but at Kimblee.

"It's not poisoned." He said, referring to Envy's untouched beverage.

Envy still didn't trust it. This reminded it too much of the kindness of its siblings: acts of kindness laced if not with arsenic, then with manipulation and hidden agendas.

"You said you wanted to talk." Envy said, still not looking at him. "So talk."

"Right." He took a sip of his own tea, contemplating how to say it. "I don't know what you've been told exactly, but…well, I'll start at the beginning. When we met, I was immediately fascinated by you. Our fight was among the most intense things I've ever experienced, and as far as looks go, you're exactly my taste. Both things combined had me enamored. Later, Greed made a pass at me, and although I find him attractive, the logic of most families dictates that when you're interested in one sibling, it's not advisable to fool around with another. I told him as much, and he expressed his…doubts, as to whether my interest wasn't misplaced. In a glib moment, I bet him that I could win you over."

He shrugged.

"It seems I was wrong, and that is disappointing. But you're more to me than an exciting prospect or a game. I've come to consider you my friend. The bet I made has been the farthest thing from my mind."

He looked at Envy, who still refused to meet his eyes. He sighed. "You don't believe me, do you?"

"You're too much like me." Envy said, shaking its head tiredly. "We lie; we manipulate, to get what we want. And I'm supposed to believe that your motives were pure and honorable this whole time? Honestly, Kimblee, would you believe you?"

It met his eyes, finally; the look on its face was equal parts guarded and anguished; miserable, but not vulnerable.

"There's nothing pure or honorable about it. If I thought lying would get me what I want from you, then I would tell any lie necessary. However, the thing I want most – more than sex, if you can believe that from a male human – is someone I don't have to lie to. Think of it as narcissism if you will, I like myself far too much to never be myself around anyone."

That was something of a point, Envy would admit. It knew enough about humans to understand how different this one was from others, and knew enough about deception to know how tedious it could be, even for those who were good at it. Something inside wavered. Envy wanted to believe him, to be soothed by his cool logic into acquiescence and trust. But was it willing to believe Kimblee, over its own sister? Especially when it was so obviously in over its head. As self-deluding and prone to denial as Envy was, it could sense that it was too close to this matter to see it clearly.

But Lust had objectivity in this. And she understood humans too, particularly the male variety. And she had been the one to tell Envy about the bet. That was more than could be said of Kimblee. Was it truly not important to him, as he said, or had it simply been a convenient lie by omission? Envy shuddered inwardly. So much like something Greed would do, that was. If Lust had warned Envy away from Kimblee, was Envy bold enough to ignore that?

"But why have you been…nice to me this whole time? Cooking me food that I don't even need, and giving me tea and talking to me and…everything. Am I supposed to believe the 'real you' is some kind of nice guy?"

It came down to that. As theoretically good reasons as Kimblee might have for his interest, his behavior nonetheless struck Envy as suspicious. It wasn't accustomed to kindness, and it made the homunculus wary, even as it drew Envy in like a moth to a flame.

"I'm nice to my friends," said Kimblee, "I've simply never had one. It's not my fault most people are entirely tedious and bland."

"I'll grant that in the world of humans I'm something of a novelty. That doesn't mean I believe you. Why should I believe that you, of all people, care about…" me? "About things like friendship and honesty?"

He was, as Lust said, the unabashed turncoat, traitor to all of his kind. What other reason did Envy need to question his motives?

"Why not? These things which most people view as irrevocable opposites – kindness and cruelty, sincerity and manipulation – I see merely as different points on the same spectrum. Just because I'm capable of one extreme doesn't mean that's all I'm capable of."

Why not, indeed? Because nothing ever turned out that well for Envy, that was why. But Envy knew saying that wouldn't get them anywhere. It groped, attempting to put words to its indistinct yet overbearing mistrust and doubt.

"What about Greed?" Envy asked, finally – always a good starting point when questioning its lack of trust.

"What about him?"

"You could get the same things from him. That and more. I don't believe you turned him down for me."

"I'm sure we'd have a satisfying relationship for a brief time, but I want more than that. Imagine what life would be like; if you were constantly under cover, unable to reveal your true nature to anyone, forever."

"That would be hell." Even Pride loathed it, having to act the human boy perpetually, and he had a refuge where he could dispense with the façade. Did that make this human superior to Pride in that regard? What a funny thought.

"I want more than a moment's freedom from it, and that's more than Greed can offer."

"Okay…" Envy's eyes narrowed, "potential for lasting camaraderie aside, I don't believe you've never fucked him. At least admit to that."

"I haven't."

"I don't believe you."

"Ask him if you want, assuming he's as honest as he claims to be."

"No one turns Greed down. No one." No one chooses me over him.

"Clearly I'm extraordinary."

"And so modest." Envy couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Of course. So is that what you thought, that I'd sampled one sibling and was aiming for the next?"

"You strike me as the type who enjoys a novel conquest. Mostly I thought – and I haven't entirely ruled it out yet, I'll need to hear it from him directly – that Greed was using you to get to me. The way he sees it, if he has you and you have me…"

"I get the idea."

"It might sound obscure, but he's done it before. With other people he wants to own that are too ugly to touch."

"You're…kidding right?"

"No. For all that he comes off as a simpleton, when it comes to what he wants Greed can be as manipulative and convoluted as –"

"Not that. About you being ugly."

That rendered Envy speechless for a moment. It was accustomed, at best, to disregard towards its neurosis concerning its appearance; at worst, open derision and scorn. Positive regard was something with which it had no experience.

"You've seen what I really look like. Underneath, I am ugly." Envy was shocked to hear its own words. Yes, it knew that's what Greed thought of it, but it had never quite realized just how much it agreed with him.

"Beauty is only skin-deep in all of us. If you stripped away my outer layer, I wouldn't look too attractive either."

"You wouldn't look like that."

"I wouldn't look any better. Besides, I think you're true form is fascinating. It's powerful. What is appearance, to that?"

Of course, Envy knew, this human could not understand. He'd been born so…perfect. Perfect, at least, compared to the twisted, crawling form of Envy's beginning.

And then Envy realized it had done exactly what Lust had warned against, almost without notice. It had let the human see the core of this vulnerability: that although Envy could look any way it wanted, it always saw itself, on some level, as an ugly thing. Kimblee had all the power now. Envy could kill him, yes, but short of that it had no advantage. It had come here to teach him a lesson; to take back control, yet this had ended entirely on Kimblee's terms – if not with Envy in his bed, then still where he wanted it. He had told Envy to stay, and here they were. Told Envy to listen to him, and it had. Envy recalled its coma nightmares involving Kimblee, the way he had called Envy to him, comforted it one moment and so calmly ripped it apart the next. Maybe it was prophetic. Either way, though, there was no resisting. Just like in the dream, Envy had come when called and was entirely open, entirely vulnerable. There was no going back.

"Okay." Envy said. "I've made up my mind."

"Oh?"

"Yes. If you're lying to me...I still like the lie better than the truth." It was, in fact, the best lie Envy had ever been told. "I can live with that." What more could a creature such as Envy hope for?

Kimblee frowned. "That's unacceptable."

"That's all I have." Said Envy, shaking its head. "That is literally the best I can do."

"What, and everything between us will be contingent on mistrust and lies? That's the antithesis of what I want. And I think I've earned better than that from you." For the first time his voice was heated.

"Even if you have…its not…you're not…" Envy swallowed, on the verge of spilling even more. "I don't believe in what you seem to want, in that kind of attachment." Hell, Envy had moved past Lust's prohibitions; why not move on to Pride's? Not merely that Envy could not trust Kimblee, but that Envy could not trust at all. It had gone so far already, why not go the final lap, bare every last vital point to him? Not like Kimblee didn't have enough openings necessary to rip Envy open and gut it, as Lust so succinctly phrased it.

"Friendship, family, kin and clan," continued Envy, "all these things humans revere – I see them as only glorified survival instincts. Humans form these bonds because they have no choice but to do so."

Prides lesson's replayed themselves like a silent mantra, you do not need love, you do not need protection, you do not need trust. These things, which humans need, will only weaken you.

"Is that a bad thing," Kimblee asked, "bonds formed of mutual dependence?"

"I wouldn't put it in terms of good or bad. I mean, it's clearly worked well for your kind. But people mistake the nature of those bonds. Love…attachments of that nature, are self-serving, and treacherous as such. So its not that I can't trust you, it's that I believe it is wrong to trust in the first place. I don't need to in order to survive, and anything beyond that fundamental purpose will only be a disappointment."

Envy braced itself for rage. Envy was taking the friendship Kimblee offered and smashing it, demolishing the very idea of it. Taking the only potential he believed he had for any kind of companionship – assuming he'd been telling the truth about all that – and turning it to dust before his eyes. Normally Envy relished such things, destroying something precious and witnessing the resulting despair. But this was far from normal.

"Tell me," Kimblee said, eyes cool and clear as the arctic sea, "as harshly and honestly as you can, is this exchange of ideas weak?"

Envy hesitated. It had not been expecting that. For once, Pride's conniving influence inside Envy's mind had no answer, no harsh truth to wither his sibling's folly.

"…No. I don't see how, anyway."

"When I say want some sort of relationship with you, I don't expect selflessness or devotion or anything like that. I want acceptance: that you can see me for who I am and vice versa, and neither of us will run away screaming. So tell me, is that weak?"

"No." The scornful voices of Envy's siblings had gone quiet, and it felt remarkably free without them. "If you're not weak and I'm not...then accepting each other as such can't be weak either."

"That's all I'm asking of you. Just be what you are, and let me do the same."

He doesn't know what he's asking for, Greed's influence quipped, but Envy angrily denied the thought. What did Greed know? Not like he was any better. It certainly wasn't Envy's fault he was an asshole, and that Envy responded in kind. Envy resolved that, at least until the day Kimblee decided to betray Envy after all, that it would be the kind of friend who deserved to be such. It promised itself that it would never prove Greed right…

"Okay."

"Thank you. And about tonight…"

…Assuming Envy hadn't already messed that up with the stunt it had just pulled. So was Greed right after all? Was Envy was just a nasty bitch, even to the one person who might…maybe, theoretically, just possibly…deserve better?

"I'm sorry." Envy blurted out, before Kimblee had even finished speaking. Because it did not want to be everything Greed said it was, and yet on some level already believed it was exactly that.

"I forgive you."

"J-just like that?"

"As I said, there's not actually much which needs forgiving. Making a bet concerning you was disrespectful, and I take responsibility for that. Considering what you thought, about my motives and Greed's, your anger was understandable. All I ask is that in the future, you hear my side of it before threatening my manhood."

Envy felt itself blush again. "I will."

"Good." He leaned back and stretched. "If it means you trust me more then you did, then I don't regret anything." He gathered their cups and stood, turning back towards the kitchen. "As much as I'd enjoy continuing this conversation, I need to leave for work soon. Lets pick it up another time."

The sky outside was indeed tinted with the light of dawn.

"Hell, I really kept you up all night?" Envy was partially surprised that it had been there that long, and at the same time felt as though years had passed since the sun had set the previous day.

"I think I'll survive." His nights - or days for that matter - were rarely as interesting as this one had been. Fatigue was a small price to pay.

"I should get going myself." Envy said, standing as well. "I can think of a few siblings who I want a word with." The customary note of menace had returned to its voice.

"Don't get nailed to anymore walls."

Envy smiled, a bit ruefully. "On that note, I make no promises."

"Oh, one last thing, before you go."

"Hm?"

"May I call you Invidia again?"

Why the hell was Envy blushing so damn much? This was just plain embarrassing.

"Yes."

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(A/N: For those of you wondering, I am not going to leave them at 'just friends'. Thanks for reading!)