Disclaimer: Orange is the New Black does not belong to me. I am merely borrowing the characters.

The next day Piper and Larry were going to Polly and Jen's house in the afternoon and Piper was looking forward to seeing the couple again.

Polly is an industrial chemist at a pharmaceutical company in Hertfordshire, her wife Jen is a market maker at Canary Wharf. Together they make quite a lot of money so they could afford one lof the few large houses in the area that hadn't been turned into flats. It has a large garden for the area too so the friends who had been arrived had been deposited there for a barbecue. Polly also has a flat in a town near where she works to stay in if she's working late and can't get back to London, she uses it two or three times a week.

Both women are Cockneys born and bred and deeply proud of their roots.

Jen started trading at the age of ten by helping out on the market stall her parents still run on Whitechapel Waste near the infamous Blind Beggar pub. Her family had been costermongers going back several generations, buying fruit and veg at Spitalfields market and selling it to the public of Whitechapel. Jen regards this heritage as a real advantage in her current job.

Polly's were criminals, dockers and fishwives. Tough in other words, Polly had punched and kicked her way through primary school. At secondary school something had clicked and she'd got her head down and discovered chemistry. Albeit at first it had been the prospect of making explosives to blow safes with that had attracted her but she'd ended up with a love of the subject itself. Whilst at Durham she'd developed an interest in the interface between biology and chemistry. She stayed to complete a PhD in that area. Her dad had been in HMP Durham at the time so that was handy. Also at the time Piper had been bumming it round Europe with her lover. There was something about Alex that hadn't sat well with Polly and she had hoped her friend wasn't as naïve as she appeared.

Polly and Jen met in a nightclub under a railway arch on The Minories, not far from the Tower of London. It was the nightclub's women only night and it was known as a lesbian hangout. It hadn't been love at first sight exactly more love at first hear! Jen had heard Polly tearing a strip off the barmaid for overcharging and had fallen in love, So she sympathised with a "She were a bit Alan Border weren't she?". The reference to the former Australian Cricketer being slang for 'out of order' which itself is slang for 'wrong and uncalled for'. Jen then introduced herself and offered a hand which Polly shook and things went from there.

They'd kissed and gone back to Jen's flat for what both women had assumed would be a one night stand. Except neither of them had been able to leave it alone. They'd met at cafés and pubs. Eventually they had had dinner together with more sex to follow. They both realised they were falling heavily for each other. Finally Polly offered her love. Jen had accepted and they'd moved in together two months later. Eventually they'd found this house, sold Jen's flat with its view of the Thames and got a huge mortgage to buy it. And started to think about planning to have children.

So Piper and Larry were standing about with bottles of beer in their hands talking to Polly the next day, at a barbecue to celebrate Polly's pregnancy, in Polly and Jen's back garden.

"'ope you don't mind Pipes I told Jen about the incident yesterd'y." said Polly.

"Well; probably best, it'll be in the local rag on Friday anyway. How'd she take it?"

"No probs there love, she's a cockney – you know our attitude to the filth!" Polly paused "I expect your mum will try to blame me!"

"Probably but I'll soon set her straight there. You tried to warn me that Alex was up to no good. I just wanted excitement and to be a little daring. Oh and I was in love."

"You were that, 'opeless. Odd really though, I'd 'ad enough of excitement and danger wi' mi dad. And gettin' in'o all sorts of fights at school."

"When's he due home?"

"Yeah, 'e'll be away for another six months. Should be back around the time of this 'uns arrival." Polly pointed to her stomach.

"Oh his first job might be babysitting then!"

"Yeah told 'im that in mi last holy! Ain't 'ad 'is reaction yet!"

Larry looked confused 'Holy what?"

"'oly grail – you know! Email" said Polly.

"You can email a..." Larry got kicked hard by Piper.

"Yeah – there's a service but 'e ain't got the 'ang of sending so 'e uses snail mail." said Polly.

In some UK prisons inmates can receive emails (which are printed out by prison staff and then delivered) but they cannot send them.

"I say Poll introduce me to your ravishing friend!" said a female voice with the kind of accent that sounds like the possessor of it has something, usually assumed to be a plum, in their mouth. The possessor of this one was a tall, slim, well dressed and accessorised young woman with a shortish black bob of hair under a cream coloured cloche hat. She was carrying a large glass of red wine.

"Oh 'ello Julia, love!" said Polly. "Larry and Piper, this is a colleague of mine the 'onerable (no less) Julia Smythe! Julia, you dishonourable li'le scroat, this is Larry Bloom, 'e's a wri'er, and Piper Chapman, who's in PR."

"Not for much longer I suspect after my arrest yesterday." said Piper without thinking.

Larry groaned.

"OH I say! Really? What? Oh do tell! Were the frightful rozzers really beastly darling?" Asked Julia quietly as she looped her arm in Piper's and lead her to a quiet part of the garden leaving Larry with Polly.

Rozzers is mild British slang for the Police.

Piper was highly amused.

"Now darling I want to hear everything." said Julia in a conspiratorial whisper.

"Not much to tell really..." and Piper told the story to a woman she had only just met but already, for some reason, trusted.

"And they really handcuffed you and threw you in the back of one of those vans? How impolite of them!" said Julia at the appropriate point in the story.

She continued: "And I expect the estimable Polly will provide you with a lot of support but hand over your mobile darling, I'll give you my number, if there is any help you need just call. I was at school with several top lawyers you know. Most of 'em owe me favours. I mean, dash it all, we fought a war with the Chinese for the right to sell opium to them! And I mean look what prohibition did in the US. It'd be much better if the stuff could be sold openly and most people would get bored of it pretty quickly! Don't you agree darling? Anyway what's wrong with a bit of addiction? Sir Walter Scott produced some fine work high on Opium. Also if you end up needing a job I've got some contacts I could use."

The Opium Wars (1839-1842 and 1856-1860) were indeed fought for this purpose.

Piper nodded and unlocked her phone and gave it to Julia.

"Now be a dear and send me a text so I've got your number." Julia said as she handed Piper back her phone.

Piper did.

Piper then went to rejoin Larry and Polly.

"Julia normally eats men! You're 'onoured!" said Polly and left to find Jen.

Piper laughed. Larry looked worried. Julia came to join them.

"Tell you what. What are you two doing next weekend? Only my parents are having a do and there dragging me along. I'd be delighted to have a little group of friends there. I am sure we can persuade Poll to come if you two do. She's been reluctant." said Julia.

"We would love to but we're telling Piper's family on Saturday and will be staying with her parents." said Larry.

"Well the do is Sunday. Where do your parents live Piper?" said Julia.

"Near Virginia Water in Surrey." said Piper.

Julia Squealed. "Perfect. The house where my parents are having the do is there too. Pottleswade Manor, do you know it?"

Piper's eyes widened. "My parents have Pottleswade House!"

"Yes? Well bring them! I'll square it with mummy now!" Julia got out her phone and started rang her mother.

After a bit Julia finished her call. "Yes. She's looking forward to meeting you. It's just a barbecue nothing formal so dressed as you are will be fine."

"I'll just ring my mum and let her know." said Piper.

"While your doing that I'll find Poll and tell her she's got no excuses now. Oh by the way will you need a lift back? I'm organising a minibus to drop people off afterwards." said Julia.

"Please." said Piper

"OK then bring any luggage with you and we'll store it for you until it is time to go."

Piper got out her phone and rang her parents house. Her mother answered.

"Hi mum, listen the reason I'm ringing is because a friend of Polly's has invited us all to an informal do on Sunday."

"Well mum you're invited too. Our whole family is invited, informal dress, so I'm wearing jeans."

"Well that's a pity it is at Pottleswade Manor after all!"

"Yes I can wear jeans. I've been told to."

"Yes a friend of Polly's! The Honourable Julia Smythe."

"So that changes it does it? Oh there's a surprise! Bye mum."

She cut the call.

"She'll come," Piper said to Larry then added "Seems she might be thawing to Polly now she knows she is friends with Julia. Snob."