Lyrics: 'These Streets' by Bastille

Warning: Sexual content is in the italics part, so if you don't like that, don't read (though, if you're on this archive, I'm thinking you don't have a problem with it. I just thought I'd give a heads up anyway).

Chapter Five: Dreams and Reality

But even if we won't admit it to ourselves,

We'll walk these streets and think of little else

Cassia's eyes questioned me when I came back into view. Then she took in my clenched jaw and pursed lips, my seething expression, and seemed to guess things did not fare so well. She grabbed my arms as if to comfort me, and led me back up the stairs and back to my chambers, careful to check the hallways before stepping.

I walked straight for the bed, sitting down and rubbing at my eyes, tired. He exhausted me. "He…is an arrogant ass."

"You should not have gone alone!" she sighed, her eyes guilty.

I shook my head, dismissing the idea, "He is simply trying patience. He will do as I say."

"He has agreed then?"

"Not quite." I sighed again, laying back on the soft covers of the mattress. "But he will. He had the nerve to command me to return to him tomorrow night!"

"You will not go, will you?"

"I don't know if another choice will present itself for quick consideration."

I went to sleep flushed, not being able to rid myself of his husky voice, low and rough, as he teased a reaction from me in a lascivious manner.

.

.

.

Right away, I knew it was unthinkably wicked and so wrong.

But, the gods knew the second part was a lie; it felt way too right to be wrong. I felt ashamed.

Never had I even given way to such imaginings. The visions were foreign to me.

I lay in the bed at Quintus' Villa, my sheer nightgown settled around me. It was night, and I wasn't sure why I wasn't asleep yet. The whole Villa surely was, it was so quiet. The doors to the small balcony were open, and a soft, tantalizing breeze blew in, kicking up an unfamiliar scent. It was pleasant though, attractive; something earthy and heavy and masculine, overlaid with something like perspiration. I breathed it in more deeply, closing my eyes. It was more pleasant than the lilac and roses ointment I owned. But it was far less delicate than my fragrance.

A shift on the mattress beside me broke me out of my reverie, and I rolled over slowly to find Gannicus sprawled across the other half of my bed. Before now, I had thought the bed was massive. Now, with his bulky frame in it, it suddenly looked smaller. He was asleep, his face void for once of a grin, whether playful or arrogant.

His peacefulness drew me to him, and I moved closer. Warmth radiated from his body, and the silvery moonlight shining through the open doors illuminated his golden-bronze skin. His face was so serene. So at peace.

I wanted to touch him. To trace my finger down the slope of his cheekbone, along his jaw, down to his chin. I wanted to run my finger over those lips, to see if they were as rough as they looked. The strength of my impulse frightened me. But not enough to stop me. The images ignited in me a sensation hitherto relatively unknown.

My hand reached out, just as his eyes flickered open. When they saw my hand hovering in between us, so obviously on its way to touch his face, he smiled softly. That smile made my heart stop. He smiled like I was the only person in the world worth smiling at. Gently, he grabbed my hand and brought it across the space, to his face, before letting go. Giving me permission to do as I please.

I swallowed. With light touches, I ran my fingers across his face, along the stubble of his jaw, towards his lips. My own lips parted slightly. The skin was rough, and yielding. His eyes closed contentedly, lips parting as well, a sigh escaping and warming my hand. I moved my hand up, along the contours of his cheeks, and nose, up to his forehead, tracing every last bit, committing the feel of it to memory before moving to his neck, his collarbones, his broad shoulders.

I leant down and kissed the skin of his neck, just below his ear, moving down the column of his neck. It was a bold move, rivaling Gannicus' own self, and unlike myself. But he tempted me, stirring feelings inside I'd not experienced, feelings I wanted to explore.

He breathed deeply, sighing, his eyes squeezed shut like he was in pain, like I was torturing him, "By the gods, command me."

I frowned, moving my mouth from the hollow of his neck, "What?" I breathed heavily.

"Command me to lay hands on you." His voice was strained and strangled.

"Do it."

I felt his hands upon me, blazing hot, stroking the exposed skin of my neck and shoulders. It was exquisite, what his hands could do simply with a stroke, a caress. The way his hands, so large and strong and rough, used to wielding a sword and ending a man's life, could touch me with such gentleness made me tremble.

I lowered my head down to his, pausing.

His lips came up in a rush to meet mine, and we kissed long and hard, our tongues mingling. His mouth became rough and dominant against mine, his lips, so perfect and rough, moving against mine in a decadent flash of pleasure.

The tempo of our caresses, our kisses, our touches, changed, urgency fueling our movements. Suddenly we kissed with bites and sucks as if to devour, we touched with ardent desperation, we caressed with wanton abandon. The world melted away, all save my animalistic, breathless desire. Never had I felt so out of control and like I knew myself so completely at the same time.

Shameless in my need to press against him, I trapped his hips with my thighs. I sat up, and his dark, hooded eyes watched me as I reached to the ties at my shoulders that held my nightgown up. With two quick tugs, the material fell down, gathering about my waist, urgent to feel his flesh against mine, flaunting my nakedness.

His mouth found my flesh, my breasts without prompt, his hot, wet tongue teasing and taunting the way his words usually did. My head flung back in a moan of pleasure at his ministrations, my back arching. I guided his hands over me, urging him to touch me everywhere. His mouth followed the trail of fire his hands blazed.

Desperate to have him, I entreated him in the most indecent of terms. I begged him to take me, to have me, to do what he pleased with me, but just not to stop. Tingles of please shot to the gut of my stomach, throbbing at my womanhood. My voice rose in pitch and I implored him to touch me everywhere as his lips burned against my skin. I gasped loudly when the rough pads of his thumbs ran across my sensitive, budded nipples. Should someone hear us…

But a moment later, all thoughts of being caught vanished. He rose up, rolling us over as he pushed me down, capturing my wrists with his hands. Slowly, his fingers slid up to entwine with mine. He teased and tormented me with his body, the pleasure almost unbearable in its intensity. The throbbing length of his manhood pressed against me and I begged for him. My moans and wails rose in volume as our bodies finally joined and I writhed.

He kissed me deeply, and the feeling of him, moving inside me, his mouth on mine, his weight pushing me down, was more than I could bear. A wild cry escaped me, his name upon my lips, and I woke as release broke over me, perspiring and breathless.

.

.

.

My release came at the same time as Lucretia's hysterical screams. I blinked, staring at the ceiling, breathing heavy. I was alone, in my bed, shocked and aware of a pleasant, heavy pulse thudding in my most private parts, and I moved my hand away. Another scream rose into the air. I jerked fully awake, the sleepy haze disappearing, looking around frantically before jumping up, pulling a robe over my sleeping gown, which was far too sheer and intimate for unknown company. At another scream from Lucretia, I ran, my bare feet slapping against the hard tiled floor, following the sound of her voice. It sounded like it was coming from the front doors, so that was where I ran to.

I was almost there, when I thought how stupid it was to run towards screams. I could be throwing myself into danger. The thought didn't stop my feet from flying across the tiles.

At the entrance, an unknown man stood supporting another, badly bloodied man. Lucretia clutched at the bloodied man, tenderly cradling his head and speaking to him. Then I realized it was distant cousin.

"Quintus!" I shouted, running forward. "Bring the Medicus!" I shouted at Melita. Lucretia sobbed, clutching at her husband, as Gaia attempted to sooth her. "Bring him to bed," I implored Lucretia.

Her red eyes barely recognized me around her tears, so distraught was she.

"Yes," Gaia said softly, "Take to chambers. I will take care of man."

I gestured at the guards, and they grabbed him, lifting him and taking his weight back through the Villa, Lucretia trailing behind. As I followed behind, I saw Gaia hand the unknown man a few coins for bringing him here.

The guards placed Quintus down on the bed, and Lucretia was right there. The Medicus arrived and we were asked to leave to give him room to work. Lucretia collapsed on the ground outside their chambers. Gaia crouched down next to her, holding her to her, muttering soothing words.

"Lucretia…be there anything I can do?" I asked softly, feeling out of sorts, unsure as to what to do. Gaia seemed to be handling her well enough.

"Can you make him better?" she asked harshly. I flinched.

I didn't say anything.

"Then there's nothing!" she said, her voice cracking. I felt the depth of her love for her husband. These were not the tears of a woman worried she would lose the protection her husband afforded her. These were the tears of a woman afraid of losing her husband.

And I could not blame her for that, for wanting him back. For fearing she would not have the chance to look at him again and see life and love.

He was severely beaten. He was barely conscious.

Gaia coaxed her to the chaise lounge, wrapping her arms around the sobbing woman, and muttering soothing words I didn't catch. I was at a loss. What should I do? How should I act? What should I say? She was hurting so badly, and I had no idea what to do. And my gut roiled over Quintus; who would do that to him? What heartless bastard would beat a man so badly he was barely clinging to life? Anger surged inside my chest. This was my family they were hurting. My family. And I didn't know how to protect them, but it was what I wanted to do. Needed to do. It was a compulsion I couldn't fulfill and it left me agitated and restless and impatient.

I stood and paced, wringing my hands. I felt pathetic. Completely useless. There was nothing I could do to help. Nothing. Nothing but walk a path back and forth across the tiles and pray. I clasped my hands together, my lips barely moving as I spoke softly and quickly.

I prayed to Angitia, the snake goddess, and Vejovis, to heal him swiftly. I prayed to Febris that she keep fever at bay. I prayed ardently to Apollo, that he was not yet destined for the afterlife, that his associations with healing and medicine would prevail and he would heal Quintus. I prayed to every god and goddess associated with healing and medicine, that the Medicus save him, that they take over his hands and work on Quintus themselves, for the better. That he live.

When I finished, I sat on Lucretia's other side, and wrapped my smaller arms around her waist. This was the comfort I could give. Her head was resting on Gaia's shoulder, tears leaking out and staining her dress. Gently, I rested my head on Lucretia's shoulder.

When the Medicus exited their chambers hours later, we were informed that he would live. He had broken ribs, his skin bloodied and bruised, but he would live. Gaia had just managed to stop Lucretia's tears, but at the news she broke down again, but in relief.

Lucretia darted up, and went to see him as fast as she could. Gaia and I remained.

"Do gods always answer your prayers?" She asked, eyes resting on me, her face relaxed in relief.

Yes. Sometimes. I had not considered it before. "I don't know…but thankful they did." Later tonight, after Quintus had rested further, and we would be sure he would make it to the next morning, I would thank the gods fully. One could not ask a favour of them, just to ignore them again once the favour had been completed. They deserved more than that. They deserved my awe, my respect and gratitude and deference.

"As am I," she said. "As am I."

We sat there in silence for a while. My mind was alive with thoughts. I was thankful Quintus was alright. I did not know what would have happened if he wasn't. What would Lucretia do? What would become of the gladiators?

I shook my head, the gladiators? The unsettling thing was that I wasn't sure if I meant gladiators or Gannicus. Which was ridiculous. The slave had contested me at every turn last night. He had teased and jested, and insinuated; all of which I did not appreciate. All of which he simply could not do. He couldn't do that, say that, not to me. And what was I to do about it? Tell Quintus or Lucretia about it, and jeopardize Visius. Visius was a good man. He could return to his wife and child in another year or two. I did not want him to die. And I could never bear to have that on my conscience for every day of the rest of my life.

But I couldn't just let Gannicus command me the way he did. I could not let him have the power.

Could I?

No. No I couldn't.

It would be improper. Unseemly. Undignified.

And yet…I knew without a doubt that I would not do anything about it. Against my better judgment, the arrogant, playful gladiator intrigued me. And that, must assuredly, would get me into trouble. A lot of trouble. But for the life of me, I couldn't stop think about him.

Gods, I even dreamed about him. A blush heated my cheeks at the memory of said dream. His words were dangerous; the invoked unfamiliar thoughts inside my head, they taunted and teased, and gave way to erotic dreams that I had no business fantasizing over. Especially not erotic dreams that included him. A slave. A gladiator slave. Which was worse.

Could I sink any lower? Could I shame myself more, lusting after him?

And how dare he plant inside my head those seeds of lust, with his arousing words, his insinuations. How dare he make my life complicated in that way! How dare he manipulate me in that way!

How dare the image of him touching me make my heart stop beating in my chest. How dare it make me blush. How dare it quicken my breath.

Just…how dare he!

Gaia gave voice to what she had been contemplating, "We should help Lucretia in difficult time."

I nodded in agreement, blinking away unruly thoughts of Gannicus. "Humble hands eager to aid."

She nodded, her eyes thoughtful, "Inquiry will be posed, and duties dispersed between us."

"Good."

.

.

.

We gave Lucretia a while longer with her husband before we pulled her away for a moment to see what we could do to help. She mumbled a few things, before disappearing back to Quintus.

Gaia took charge then, seeing to what Lucretia had said. "Would prefer business or household tasks?"

She gave me the option and I contemplated it. I did not have my own experience at running a household, despite being taught, as every girl was, and I did not want Gaia to have to help me, or for Lucretia to have to take over from me. But business… I knew barely anything about. But I figured, should I require it, I could see Decimus and ask advice. Should it come to it. "Business."

She nodded, "View gladiators and note any issues, speak with doctore about them also, inform him about Quintus."

Business was a mistake. Quintus' business was gladiators. Gannicus was a gladiator. I wondered if my subconscious realized that, and was steering me towards what fascinated me. I made a mental note to scold my subconscious later.

I left to do what Gaia said. Cassia found me, as I made my way to the viewing balcony.

"How fare you?" She asked softly, and for a moment I was confused. How did she know I was dreading seeing Gannicus? Was it because she knew about the dream? Panic surged through me; I did not know if I wanted her to know about that. But then I looked more closely at her eyes, which held concern and worry and sympathy. It was a soft expression, and I realized she'd obviously heard what happened with Quintus. He was my cousin, my family, and she knew this would upset me.

"Fine," I said curtly, before shrugging myself out of it. My mind was occupied with other issues, and it wasn't fair for me to be snappy with her. "I just…fear grips me at thought of cousin. I am otherwise occupied with thoughts of it."

She nodded understandingly, "I will fetch some food. Perhaps will relieve ill-thoughts." It was close to mid-morning, and my stomach gave a growl, and she went to fetch me food.

"Perhaps," I muttered as she wandered off, thinking how unlikely it was.

Hesitantly, I stepped up to the railing, and looked down. The hot sun beat down on the men as they trained, wielding swords and nets and shields. Some lifted heavy looking blocks and carried them around. It didn't take long for my eyes to find the sun-kissed, arrogant gladiator, as he held two swords, bringing them down on his opponent, who flew backwards from the force, his shield flying away. He held up two fingers in the sign of mercy.

Gannicus laughed, and turned away, swinging his arms around his body, crossing the blades over, before turning back to face his opponent again and getting into a ready stance. His opponent got up and they faced each other. Just before they began, Gannicus' eyes flicked up to the balcony.

I froze. Under those intense eyes, last night's dream flashed through my mind; the heated moments, the fiery flesh and burning passion, gasping breaths and desperate moans. It made me blush. He grinned like he knew it too. He was so cocky.

He launched himself at his opponent, and brought him down in three hammering blows, the clack of wood against wood echoing loudly. It was almost like I could feel the vibration of it running up my back. When he stepped back from his fallen brother, he looked back up at me and for a second his eyes implored me, begged me. I didn't know what they were begging for, but the dream flashed through my mind again, so vivid.

Command me to lay hands on you.

His voice both full of strain and so rough, husky, that it sent shivers up my spine. The warmth of the day didn't do anything to help the blush disappear, and I cursed myself.

His cockiness was like a ladder, and he just kept climbing up higher. It made me want to bring him back down a few rungs. A look from him conveyed a lot; he was both teasing and flirting, because he knew it made me uncomfortable. He was a slave. I didn't know what to do when he stepped above his station, and he knew it. His wickedly curving mouth lifted into a grin. My lips pursed, my chin lifting defiantly, and I looked away indifferently, like I was unimpressed by his show of skill and strength.

Which was untrue. I was impressed. And it made me realize again how dangerous he was. How he would be able to take down Visius. How I was going to have to see him until he agreed not to kill him. Which gave him the power. Which could be dangerous for me.

My heart raced at the thought, and I wasn't sure if it was in fear or excited anticipation. It made me angry that I didn't know.

Cassia came back then with a platter of bread and cheeses and olives, and some water. Desperately thirsty, I grabbed the jug myself, not being able to wait for Cassia to do it, and poured the glass, chugging it down faster than I could blink. Cassia raised her eyebrows at me in question.

"Thirsty."

"I couldn't tell," she said drily. She broke the tension in me easily, and my shoulders relaxed. Dire feelings fled quickly, leaving behind worry.

I poured another cup of the cooling liquid, my hands slightly shaky, "May the gods damn him to an eternal hell."

"Who?" She asked.

My jaw clenched.

She understood immediately. She always understood me easily; it was a result of our close bond, "Gannicus."

As soon as I was finished in my duties to help Lucretia, I vowed never to go near the balcony again. My eyes strayed down, against my permission, and I watched the golden gladiator, the champion of the house of Batiatus. The muscle under his skin rippled in the sun, a sheen of sweat covering what was exposed; he was powerful and dangerous. Deadly. His broad shoulders hefted the weight of the swords easily, his stomach muscles clenching, his eyes locking on mine again. I swallowed. As if he was there for my viewing pleasure. As if for all my pleasures.

His eyes spelled sex, and his sensual, curved mouth promised it would be good.

I scowled at him

I knew that I'd fail in that vow.

I wouldn't be able to stay away.

Hey Hey!

So…What'd'ya think? I'm always so nervous for you guys to read this story, but also weirdly excited! This is my favourite story to be writing at the moment, and I'd really like to continue it – so let me know what you thought!

Review replies:

Caleb's babe: Ah, THANK YOU! I'm glad you're liking the chemistry between them – I just love writing it! I smile like such an idiot when I write it, because he's so cheeky and she's so cute in reaction to it! I really, really hope you liked this chapter! Thanks so much for reviewing for me! It means a lot to me, it really does :D

Sandradee27: Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you so much! I'm stoked you're liking where it's going so far! I have a couple ideas for future chapters, which I hope you'll enjoy too! Ah, I know! He was sooo cheeky in this chapter, but don't you just love him?! He makes this story so much fun! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter too! Thanks so much for reviewing!

Lissil: Oh, wow, that was a crazy long review – but I loved reading every word of it! Thank you so much – I'm glad you thought it was worth reading –I had a ridiculous amount of fun writing it, so I'm glad it was worth it! Aw, thank you so much! I'm glad you think it's getting better with each chapter! Right?! Right?! He knows exactly what he's doing, and Liana has no clue – that's why it's so much fun to write! Haha, that had to be my favourite line, about his tongue (And even though I wrote it, I totally believe it)! Thank you so much! That's absolutely amazing to me that you think you can imagine him saying it in the show – and it's true, he was so much bolder then! Oh definitely, there's no way she'll be able to resist him (who could?), but I hope you enjoyed that bit in this chapter! I'm glad you like the suspense – I love writing it! Yay, I'm glad you agree with me about Melitta and Oenamaus – though I know what you mean as well, I really felt for Gannicus' dilemma too. It's kind of why I wanted him to have his own girl, haha! True! Yes, I was both happy and sad when she chose Oenamaus! Truthfully, I haven't seen War of the Damned yet, so I haven't seen much of Gannicus and Saxa yet! Oh, good –thanks for explaining it to me as well – that's what I thought, but when you made that comment, I was like 'Oh, maybe I have it wrong…' – that was followed by a frantic google search to double check, but you summed it up so much more simply that it makes sense :D Thank you so much for leaving such a fantastic review – I'm so pleased you're liking it and are interested in reading more! Thank you so much!

Polly: Yay1 I'm super glad you had fun reading it – I had fun writing it! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as well! And thanks for taking the time to review again!

Amber: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're liking it and seem to be interested in reading more – hopefully you enjoyed this chapter as well then :D

Scribbled Truth: Aw, thank you! I'm so pleased you want to see how I'll continue this, and that you appear to be interested when I take it into the Blood & Sand series as well! I'm really glad! Thank you so much! Seriously, I'm glad you're picking up that Liana is compassionate though her actions- I really didn't want to come right out and say it, so I'm glad you got it! Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and review – it means so much to me!

Soulfulgypsy: Heya! Thank you so much! I'm stoked you want to see what happens with this story! AHAHAHA! I'm super, super stoked you're shipping them already! So am I – we can ship them together! Yay! Thank you so much – seriously – I'm really glad you think I've managed to capture Gannicus' essence from the show (I'm always a little worried about how I write him!). Sorry, but what does sdk stand for? I'm a bit slow at acronyms! I was probably the last person ever to figure out what BAMF means! That's an amazingly astute observation about Liana, and I love how you summed her up like that – 'complex yet simple, unique yet relatable'. I'm so glad you like her! Thanks so much for taking the time to review- I really hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much!